Think of Me
by To Seek The Truth
Summary: One Year...One year later and Raina isn't the same as she used to be. Devit and Jasdero can see her fire fading, but the question is, Can they save her? Or is she already too far gone? The awaited So I Thought Sequel is finally here! Devit/OC
1. Needs

Rated **M **for **sex, violence, and cursing.** You have been warned

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Needs**

_One year..._

_It has been one year since I wrote in this journal last. One year of recovering, one year of staying with the Noahs. I know all their names now. I know all of their faces, their powers. I know which ones to avoid, which ones to fear. I know which ones will protect me and I know which ones will not. I find it hard to stay here though. Lavi, Lenalee, Komui...I miss my friends from the Order, but it's better if I remain here. I'm a traitor to the Order. I don't deserve those friends anymore._

_Devit and Jasdero..._

_They're usually always around and I find myself spending the nights with Devit alone. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but lately I find myself being drained. I can barely work up a smile anymore. I usually just want to cry. I hate it here. I love Devit and Jasdero but I can't stay here. I'm scared and when they're gone, I'm horribly lonely._

_I want out of this place. I wish Devit could get me out, but I doubt he can...I hope he and Jasdero return soon..._

-Extract written on July 7th from Raina Fitzgerald's Journal

It was a dinner at the Noah's Manor. The Earl was absent, but he insisted on them having a family dinner again. LuluBell skipped out, again. Skin was already grumbling. Devit and Jasdero sat by each other. Jasdero was doodling on the table cloth with a pen. Devit was glaring at Skin. Road was doing her homework and trying to get Tyki and Fae to help her out with it. Tyki was grumbling about helping Road and Fae looked up from behind her straight silver-blonde hair, which now laid on her shoulders, to give him a mild glare. Then besides Devit sat Raina. She was looking at what Jasdero was doodling, past Devit and his glaring at Skin. Her eyes were less expressive than they used to be. She spoke less now. It worried Devit, but he never said anything to her about it.

"Jasdero what are you drawing?" she asked, her voice soft, it was almost always soft now. Her hair had grown back since her...accident. It was longer than it had been now, running down her back. She no longer wore bandages, though because she constantly wore long sleeves and gloves in effort to hide her horrible scars, one couldn't tell. Her gloves were fingerless though, so when she touched the table with her finger, smearing the pen, it turned the tip of her finger blue.

"Chickens!" Jasdero answered, a grin on his face. Devit stopped glaring to glance at Jasdero's drawings. He had drawn six chickens so far. Devit shook his head with a small smile. He looked at Raina, who looked at him through her long hair. Her hair was cut shorter in the front, Road had cut it for her, so her face could be seen. Her face flushed looking at him and her eyes turned back to the drawings. He let out a low chuckle.

"I can't believe this isn't sweet...It's supposed to be a fruit..." Rumbled Skin and Devit's eyes returned to the large Noah. He placed his hand on his drink, some kind of soda and then tilted it, 'accidentally' spilling it on Skin. Skin jumped up and cried out, in shock and Devit laughed. Jasdero looked up and giggled. Raina glanced over, a certain fire in her eyes that he rarely saw anymore.

"Oops" The sarcasm in Devit's voice was dripping.

"Devit you bastard!" Growled Skin and he grabbed a fruit and threw it at Devit. He ducked, Raina ducked and Jasdero ducked, all at the same time. The three of them were in sync most of the time, then again, when Jasdevi was not out on a mission they were spending their time with Raina. Raina just hung out with them too much in the end. Skin growled again and grabbed for something else to throw at older twin.

"You're a damn bore Skin! Always throw first – ask later" Devit said, with a grin. He didn't care that he was eighteen now, he was happy being slightly immature yet. It made his life interesting. He quickly picked up a cake and smashed it in Skin's face. He and Jasdero roared with laughter. Tyki snickered and Road looked amused. Fae looked rather annoyed and Raina was trying to hold back giggles. Her giggles cut off as Skin grabbed her by mistake. She cried out in pain as he grabbed her arm, hard. Even after her outcry, he didn't let her go.

Devit and Jasdero instantly aimed their guns at him. "Let her go" they said at the same time, turning serious and deadly in a moment. Ever since Raina had been hurt they had been overly-protective of her. Anyone so much as lifted a finger against her, they would shoot first, as care later. She always complained to them about this, but they brushed her complaints off. They didn't care, they wanted to protect her so they would.

"You still chose a Exorcist girl over your own family" growled Skin and he shook his head before tossing Raina to Devit. He caught her in one arm, holding her securely against his chest. He kept the gun pointed at Skin. Raina was very still in his arms, almost stiff, afraid. "The Earl is surely just going to kill her anyway" Then Skin picked something else to eat and sat down.

Everyone else was silent and watching the twins, waiting to see what they'd do. First they put their guns away and Devit lead Raina away, Jasdero following close behind. Fae threw a bitter glare at Skin for threatening her sister again and an angry gust of wind flooded the dining hall but settled as she went back to helping Road with her homework. She wasn't as protective of the twins, but as Raina was her sister...she always let her wind do the complaining for her.

Devit took Raina back to the room she used as her own. As Jasdero shut the door calmly behind him, Devit was already pacing ranting, fingers tangled in his still messy black hair. It was slightly longer, but he liked to keep it short. Jasdero's was even longer, but had kept it about the same length as well. He no longer wore the stitching in his mouth but the make up was still something they both wore. Devit wore his coat yet, but his pants were whole and a little baggy. Same with Jasdero's pants. He still wore his vest but he also wore a white undershirt now.

"Devit I'm fine" she reassured him.

"No. No! One of these days he's going to really hurt you and I'm going to kill him Raina. I'll fucking kill that bastard"

"He's your family Devit"

"Still shouldn't hurt Raina" Jasdero huffed from by the door.

She looked at him, giving him the 'please-shut-the-fuck-up' look. "I'm fine" she said again, more force in her voice as if that would reassure them completely, her voice had the undertone it once had. That I-don't-care-what-you-think tone, the one that Devit missed but didn't know ow to get back. Devit stopped pacing and looked at her for a moment. He walked over to her and pushed the sleeve of her dress up, as Road and Fae only allowed her to wear dresses anymore, showing the scars that wrapped around her arm.

"How are your arms today? Does your chest hurt?" He asked, changing the topic instead of arguing with her. She looked even more annoyed than before.

"I'm healed Devit" her tone was biting, annoyed. She pulled her arm away from him. She didn't like to look at her own scars. Devit hated to look at them, but he had seen the whole of them plenty of times...just at night when he and Raina were alone to do as they pleased. Yes, they had tried all of that and every once in a while he would spend the night with her for a reason other than to just have her sleep in his arms.

"You still have trouble breathing sometimes and your arms hurt sometimes" he said, sounding like a stubborn child. "I wouldn't call that _healed_"

"We're worried Rai" Jasdero's voice was soft. Actually Devit had almost forgotten his twin was there. Raina was giving him _that_ glare. The one that said she was really annoyed with him and it was one that always sent chills down his spine for some reason. Devit cleared his throat trying not to think of Raina in his arms, moaning his name...

_I'm going to get myself in trouble one of these times because I'm thinking of the wrong fucking thing_ he thought, annoyance lacing his thoughts now. He pushed some of Raina's hair out of her face. "Look, sorry but Jasdero is right. We're worried about you"

"I know" she groaned and she paced away. She shook her head and then turned back to them, there was a certain look in her eye, one that he remembered all to well. He didn't allow the memory to make him smile. "Deviiit" When she said is name like that, she always wanted something. Usually something she wasn't supposed to have.

"Raina" he replied. Jasdero looked wary now too. She had asked for some things that not even Jasdero had approved of. Once she had asked to visit her friends in the Black Order. Of course they had to refuse that one. She had been really upset at them for that, mad at them for days. In the end she had just dealt with it and she hadn't asked to see them since.

She walked back over to him and wrapped her arms around her neck. She had to stand on her toes now, he was taller than he used to be. He had grown four and half inches in the past year, bringing him to a more average height. Jasdero had grown the same as him, they were twins after all. She pulled on his neck so he had to look down at her and she had those pleading eyes. He internally groaned. Whatever she wanted, she wanted _bad_.

"Devi" she called him by his nickname, her lower lip jutting out into a pout. "It's been a while and I know its near dark...I want to go watch the fireflies"

A look of shock passed over both the brothers' faces. They hadn't expected that. She hadn't watch the fireflies with them in a very long while and well...it would be nice to watch the tiny flashing bugs with her again. Devit looked to Jasdero and Jasdero smiled.

"Sure" Devit agreed and she made a happy sound and kissed him. He pushed her away after a moment. "If I knew going to watch some _bugs_ made you this happy..." She smacked his arm and he chuckled darkly.

"I hate bugs" she grumbled, looking annoyed.

"You like fireflies though" Jasdero pointed out. She gave him a mild glare. He chuckled lightly but cut off when her glare increased.

"Are you taking me or not?" she asked, her voice sounding impatient. She sounded moody and both of them laughed. She frowned at them before laughing as well. Her laugh wasn't as carefree and sweet as it had been a year ago. It worried Devit some, that maybe she was losing herself a little bit. He constantly worried about her now though. He had to. She was just in that much of danger anymore. From his family, most of them at least despised her because she used to be an Exorcists, the Earl, who wanted to use her because she was once an Exorcist and the Exorcists themselves, if they found her again, they'd surely declare her a traitor. They would probably kill her or lock her up until she died. Devit would not allow that to happen.

"Alright, alright" Devit said, wrapping his arm around her waist and then moving it up her back a little. He ducked down fast and scooped her legs out from underneath her, catching her head before she could hit it off the ground. He held her in his arms, but she didn't really seem to mind. She looked slightly annoyed about how he had decided to grab her but didn't comment.

Then he and Jasdero dashed out the door and down the hall, faster than usual. Raina was not supposed to leave the manor, but they couldn't force themselves to coop her up there all the time. They took her out to see the fireflies every so often and besides that it made her happy. More than anything, they wanted to see her happy. They didn't run too far from the manor before they hit a field that reminded them of their childhood field. Devit carefully let Raina down, the skirt of her dress brushing against the high grass. She was pretty standing there at dusk, her long silver-blonde hair blowing in the light wind. She turned back to look at the twins and smile.

"It should be starting soon" Here her voice was warmer, more normal. It was more like how she used to talk, how she used to be. It made Devit happy. She walked further into the field before sitting down. She looked up at the sky, her arms wrapped around her legs as she stared at nothing. Devit and Jasdero went to her sides and sat down. This was familiar, this was something they were used to doing. This was something calming and they knew this.

They weren't supposed to take her out of the Manor because the Earl was scared she might run away or something like that. Devit knew that she would not run. She was aware that the Noah were stronger than her, that they could hurt her. He remembered the bruises that covered her scars for _weeks_ after their first time. He had gripped her arms too hard, left bruises on her waist and she hadn't been able to walk very well for a day or two. He had felt terrible and what was worse, everyone knew the reason why she had those bruises, why she wouldn't walk. It had been embarrassing, especially since Tyki had teased him about it a little.

Now he was more careful with her. He was always careful with her. He had gotten stronger over the last year. His muscles were still thin and laid under his skinny arms but he was stronger. He huffed out a breath of air, pushing his bangs out of his face. Raina looked over at him, her violet eyes questioning. He smiled, pushing off the thoughts in his mind. She touched the side of his face, her fingers running across it. He took her hand and held it lightly in his. Her eyes looked away from him, back to the fireflies.

Jasdero held out his one hand, inviting a bug to land on him, which it did. Raina looked at it, looking warily at the bug. She thought they were pretty – from a distance. When they were close to her, she always locked up her body, ready to run from them. She had learned to run fast, or fairly fast for a human. Skin seemed to like to torment her. She always had to run from him if the twins weren't around. She had almost mastered getting away from him or finding her sister since.

Jasdero brought the firefly to his face and examined it. He held it out again and the bug flew off, joining the others in the natural light show. The three of them were silent and unmoving for a long time. They weren't quite sure how long because it was so easy to loose track of time. They knew that soon they had to head to the Manor again, before the Earl realized that they were gone. He'd be mad if he found out they had taken Raina from the Manor. He hadn't caught them yet. They didn't want him to catch them.

They knew it was time to go when Raina drooped and leaned her head against Devit, looking tired. Devit carefully scooped her up into his arms and Jasdero snickered. "Is Rai tired tonight?" His eyes glanced up at his brother teasing. If Devit hadn't had Raina in his arms, he probably would have punched him in the shoulder. He felt his face burn slightly. Of course Jasdero knew what the two of them did in their spare time too. Not many Noahs didn't know. Devit didn't like that all of them knew Devit's personal life.

"Shut up" he settled for, glaring at his brother. Raina looked at Jasdero, her stare tired and unamused.

"Be nice" But her tone was directed at the both of them. Devit looked at her, shifted his hold on her and bolted away, running towards the manor. Jadero followed after him. They ran quickly, but not quick enough. When they entered and walked past the living room, the Earl was waiting for them. Devit saw him first and cursed under his breath, setting Raina on her feet. Jasdero and him stepped in front of her, in case the Earl was mad and tied to take it out on her. She was only human after all. He could hurt her plenty of he tried to. He could kill her easily. She ducked her head down, going submissive. He hated that she did that. Before she would have hit them both and made them move out of the way.

Not that he preferred that. He just missed who she used to be. She had changed so much in the last year. She wasn't the same girl he had fallen in love with. He didn't care though. He would protect her. He would protect her because he still loved her.

"You two took the girl out of the Manor" The Earl was knitting. He wasn't even looking at them. They just waited for him to get to the point. "I suspected that you had done this before, but I never had any proof, nor had I ever caught you before this pointed" He checked his knitting before continuing. "You know I forbid you from taking her out of the Manor"

"She's not going to run and being inside all the time has made her look sickly" pointed out Devit. Raina had gotten paler since she had been staying in the manor. He hadn't really minded it. He knew it was unhealthy though and that did bother him.

"She needs to go outside sometimes, get fresh air" Interjected Jasdero.

"I understand the two of you care about her...but rules are rules boys" They tensed. The Earl did not get up. "If you break another rule I have set in place, I will have her taken away from you" That struck a cord within the twins.

"You can't!" Devit said, keeping his anger in check but only barely.

"I can. Skin?"

Raina suddenly cried out and she was pulled away from the twins. They turned fast to look up at Skin who was holding Raina by both her arms and off the floor. She struggled, kicking but she could do no damage to Skin without her destroyed Innocence. The sleeves of her dress rolled up, showing the scars that marred her skin.

"Remember I can easily have her removed." the Earl spoke from behind them. "Tell me...How is she doing by the way? Is she recovering well? I hope she is. I think soon...Well we'll talk about that later now won't we? Skin?" She was tossed back to Devit. She took two stumbling steps and fell into his chest. She had her eyes closed and she was trembling. Her arms hurt.

Devit took Raina and hurried to her room. Jasdero came in as well and Raina went to her bed. Her arms were trembling. They sometimes did if some squeezed them to hard or hit them too hard. Sometimes if she took a bad fall they'd tremble and cause he pain too. Devit went and sat next to her, rubbing her leg, for he didn't want her back to start to hurt to, in a comforting manor. Jasdero gently hugged her, careful not to inflict more pain on his best friend.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Jasdero softly. She nodded. She always nodded. She didn't speak, didn't say "of course" like they wished she would...wished she could. She was silent anymore. She was so much quieter, she had lost so much of herself. "Dero is going to bed" he said softly. "Devi are you staying with Raina tonight?"

"Yeah, probably" he answered, looking up at his brother.

"Okay, good night Devi" He kissed Raina's forehead. "Night Rai" and with that, he wandered out the door, closing it behind him. Devit watched his brother go and then sighed, rubbing Raina's leg again, trying to be soothing. She let her trembling arms drop into her lap. She watched them, waiting for the pain and trembling to stop probably.

It did stop, fairly quickly. A small smile touched her face.

"It's getting better" she said. He smiled softly back. He was happy. A few months ago she had cried and said "It's never going to get better". He was glad she was getting better. He wanted her to be better sooner. She turned to him and smiled. Then she crawled onto his lap and kissed him, her hands on his shoulders. He kissed her back, his hands on her hips.

"Raina...We shouldn't...not tonight" he said softly against her pressing lips. Her lips got more desperate, her body pressed against him. He didn't push her away though, he didn't want to hurt her. "Raina...We shouldn't...Did you hear me?"

"I heard you but...Devi..." Her voice was desperate too. Desperate to feel something she liked after the pain. She pulled away from him and her fingers pushed his jacket off and then his shirt. She ran her cold fingers down his warm chest, making him jump and move underneath her. "Come on Devi..." She whispered. Her fingers were on the edge of his pants, following the line they created around his waist. He shivered again.

"Raina..." he grabbed his fingers. "Stop" his protest was weak though and even he heard how weak it was. He wasn't going to convince her to stop with a voice that weak. He was caving and she'd hear it in his voice. It wasn't often that he refused her. She knew what to do so he couldn't refuse her now. She had figured it out after trying somethings on him. He couldn't say he regretted her figuring it out, he knew he should but he truly couldn't.

He felt his entire body shiver, and not from her cold hands, as her fingers wandered down lower, brushing against him through his pants. It was just a rough feel but he knew what she was doing, she was tempting him. She was winning too.

He grabbed her waist, holding her closer and pressing his lips roughly against her's. She gasped and he flipped her so she was laying on the bed on her back. He was over her in a moment, kissing her again, she felt his tongue trace against her bottom lip, his fingers digging into her hips, he was probably going to bruise her again, and then her fingers were in his hair, pulling on the dark strands. His golden eyes opened in shock at her pulling him away slightly. He looked down at her, she knew her lips would bruise as well, but it barely mattered.

"You shouldn't tempt me" he whispered at her. His teeth snapped near her neck, she shivered, her fingers running down his chest, to his pants. She started to unbutton them but he moved her fingers away, kept them from unbuttoning them. He couldn't have that yet. He reached for the hem of the dress, pulling it up over her head.

"Ah!" she gasped as the cold air hit her, making her shiver. He kissed her lips, her cheeks her neck.

"I love you Raina" He whispered.

"I know" her whisper was rough, her eyes shut and she pulled him close, kissing him again. This was what she wanted after all. She wanted to stay with him forever. This was one of the few things that kept her sane. She needed this, needed him, like a drug. She new this was dangerously close to using him but she loved him. She loved him and she didn't want to use him. It just came out like that. She hated herself for it. She hated that she needed him like this, hated that she had to use his like this. She felt his fingers tease her in ways that made her gasp and make her arch towards him, hoping for more. His lips teased her again. He was gentle with her. He was always gentle, always so gentle up until the end. Ever since that first time and that he had bruised her and made it hard to walk. He never wanted that to happen again.

His fingers were touching even more sensitive places making her groan. "Please Devit..." she moaned. "Don't make me wait"

He smiled, his golden eyes glittering. "You started this and now you have to wait" he said, his voice teasing. He kissed her again, fingers sliding over skin that was sensitive again. She gasped in his mouth. This was how some of their nights were. Sometimes they just wanted to sleep next to each other and if that was the case Jasdero would sometimes stay with them. He liked to be close to Raina too.

He knew Raina's state of mind though. They both did. They knew she was fading fast, that this place was taking a horrible toll on her. Devit understood her needs and tried to fulfill them...He also understood that this was doing nothing to save the girl he loved.

* * *

The long-awaited sequel. This first one is a little short, just to give you a taste of what it's like. Don't expect speedy updates for this one because I am busy, but I hope you enjoyed it. And before anyone asks, yes, there will be some lemons in this one. No, I didn't do one in this chapter because its the first chapter. Next chapter _maybe_ but either way hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	2. Fading

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Fading**

Raina woke alone in the bed. The only thing covering her was her blanket. She clutched at it, bunching the fabric in her hands for a long moment and then relaxed, letting the fabric go again. She hurt. Devit was always careful with her, always, always careful, she could feel the bruises on her hips, she could see the light purple-blue of a bruise forming on her right shoulder. It was the shape of his fingers, gripping her shoulder too hard, but not hard enough. Her body ached as she stretched lightly and yawned. She wondered what time it was, but time was something she never knew in this place. She figured it was sometime in the late morning, but that was the best she had in her head. She laid back against the pillow, eyes half-lidded. She had no will to get up, get dressed or otherwise leave her room.

She laid there for a long moment before the door opened and her sister stood in the doorway, she closed the door behind her, turning the lock. She walked to the bed and sat down by Raina, touching the bruise on her shoulder. She didn't put pressure on it – it didn't hurt – but Raina knew Fae might throw a fit of she saw the ones that Raina could feel on her hips. Fae got upset when Devit hurt her, even if it was by accident. Fae didn't understand. That was the raw side of Devit. He couldn't help that he hurt her and quite frankly she didn't really care. They were only bruises. They were nothing like the burning-raw-pain that had haunted her – still haunted her – from when her Innocence was destroyed by her own hand.

"How are you today Raina?" asked Fae. Raina flinched at the sound of her sister's voice. It brought her out of her thoughts and was loud in the quiet room. Her sisters finger suddenly poked at her neck.

"Ow" she groaned and pushed her finger away. A small, amused smile came to her sister's face and Raina got up, not caring that she was naked. She walked over to the mirror in her room. She heard her sister curse at the bruises which indeed were on her hips. She looked at her neck and saw a rather large bruise there. She poked at it. "Fuck" she cursed.

He must have bitten her harder than she thought last night. One could almost see the marks from his sharper canine teeth on her neck. She didn't realize that he had bitten her neck that hard or that he had even bitten her neck in the first place. She tried to remember when he had bitten her but it didn't come to her mind.

"I'll say so" Fae said, coming up from behind her. She sighed and moved over to Raina's closet. "Can't he be _gentle_ with you? I mean you're only human...Look at those bruises, they're going to take at least a week to heal. " She tsked and started to go through the closet, looking for something for her to wear no doubt. Raina allowed Fae to pick out clothes for her because at this point it didn't matter and Devit seemed to like most of the dresses. Some of them he made faces at – probably because she never would have worn them before. She didn't care though. Clothes were clothes to her now. Fae handed her a pile of clothes and she slipped them on. There were no gloves in the pile and her arms were exposed because of the sleeves up to her elbows. She looked at her sister, hand held out, expecting the gloves. She tried not to wince as she saw the scars that marred her wrist. They looked jagged, like flames. She turned her eyes back to her sister.

"Give me my gloves" she said.

"Here" her sister handed her a pair of white gloves that she could pull above her elbow. She knew it looked stupid with her dress, but she rather have her scars covered though. She didn't care what people thought of how she dressed. It wasn't like she saw many people anymore. She only saw the Earl and the Noah. Most of the Noah didn't like her or weren't allowed to be with her alone. Someone was always there to protect her from the Noah that would hurt her though. Be it Tyki, or Fae or Jasdero and Devit.

She sat on her bed then, feeling sore. It kind of hurt to walk. It was nearly as bad as the first time. Not as bad, just nearly though. That time, she couldn't even stand, the soft area between her legs had been bruised because of him. It only lasted a day until she was okay to walk again, but it had hurt to walk and Tyki had cracked smooth jokes from across the table. Devit's face had always burned and he always ended up looking down, muttering to himself. She usually looked away and tried to ignore the comments.

"Where is Devit?" she asked finally, looking up at Fae.

"He and Jasdero are out on a mission right now. It will be a short one. I expect they'll be back by dinner. They didn't want to wake you because you looked so restful." Fae explained, sitting on the bed next to her and she began to comb out her sister's longer hair. Fae's hair had grown out a little too and now it laid against her shoulders. It was no longer razor straight as the edges flared out a little. Raina still thought her sister looked beautiful though.

"Are you going on a mission?" she asked, mindful to know which Noahs would still be around to protect her. Locking herself in her room did nothing to protect her.

"Yes..." Her voice sounded reluctant. "Tyki will be here though"

"Oh"

Out of all her protectors, she was the most wary around Tyki. He still had the scar on his chest and he still had a grudge against her. She knew that one day he _would _kill her. She just didn't know when. She knew she would not die peacefully, she would die with her heart ripped out and with her body in pain. She would hurt, but she couldn't come to regret anything. With these thoughts her eyes hardened a little. She looked a little more like her old self, the person who wasn't defenseless and who could actually do things for herself without pain.

"I have to go get ready" Her sister stood, her hair was combed.

She watched her sister walk out of the room and gently shut the door behind her. Raina laid back on her bed closing her violet eyes. She hated being here sometimes, sometimes it was scary. She missed the sun. She missed her friends from the Order. She wanted to see them, but knew she was a traitor so that wasn't going to happen any time soon. She thought of Lavi. He had done so much for her while she was at the Order. She wondered if they thought her dead or not at this point. She wouldn't know. Had they figured that her Noah had killed her? That they had destroyed her Innocence? She had destroyed it and because she had somehow harnessed the power of the Dark Matter, her Innocence had scared her, marked her as one who betrayed God. At least that was how she thought of her scars. Why else would the pain be so bad sometimes?

Her fingers ran through her hair and she opened her eyes. She knew she shouldn't hate this place so, she had everything she needed here. Clothes, food, shelter and though some of the Noah opposed her, that was fine. Someone was always there to protect her and Road had even shown interest in keeping Skin, who was the Noah who hated her the most, away from her. Lulubell didn't really seem to care about her at all though. That Noah only seemed to want to obey the Earl. She barely even looked at Raina if she was ever around. Road scared her a little, but she dealt with the little girl when she had to.

The waiting was the worst part of it all though.

Waiting for the people she cared about to come home, worrying that they might have died or that someone she knew had been killed when they fought against the other people she cared about. It was nerve-wracking and worse it made her mind weaken. Sometimes she would be lost in her thoughts for hours before she became aware again. It was usually one of their voices that brought her out. Sometimes it didn't though. Sometimes not even their fingers on her shoulder, waving in front of her face could wake her up. Sometimes she had to wake up on her own and that took a while.

She knew they were worried but there wasn't much she could do. She could only hope that one day she would be better. She didn't know how to make herself better and if she did she would make herself better. She couldn't force herself to be better. It didn't work that way. She wished it did because she would be better by now. She knew she was nothing like her old self and that was something she couldn't fix either. A smile, a laugh, these types of things made her remember what she used to be like. She used to be hopeful, ever cheerful but anymore, smiling felt wrong. When he Innocence was destroyed, it was as if her cheerfulness had gone with it into the darkness. She knew that she should be happy since she got what she wanted – Devit – but she had lost so much to obtain the ability to be with him. She had betrayed everyone she had known since she was a child and was it right to do that for love?

"How long are you planning to sit in here?" a voice disturbed her and she focused on Tyki who had walked through the door. She focused on him and his longer hair. He looked good, handsome, with his longer hair. Road seemed to enjoy it and even Fae did.

"How long have I been sitting in here?" She asked sitting up.

"Fae left two and a half hours ago"

"Oh...I have been in here a long time" She slipped off the bed and stood, blood rushing from her head to her feet and making her wobble.

"I figured you 'slipped' again and I should see if I could wake you or if I would have to watch you until the twins got back" he acted almost as if she hadn't said a thing. She didn't mind that he did. Maybe she didn't say what she thought she said. She waited to see if he'd go on but he was silent. His fingers stroked over the scar she had given him.

"You haven't forgotten and neither have I" she muttered softly, looking away. She knew he heard her. Instead his eyes darted to her visible shoulder bruises and then the one that he could see on her pale neck. She did nothing to hide them.

"I see he's still doing a _splendid_ job of controlling himself with you." There was a look in his eyes when he said that. It was somewhere between pity – for what she didn't know – and amusement. She didn't care to question the look because she didn't care what the look was for. Her eyes glanced at him again and then glanced away.

"He's getting better" she said, her tone implying that she didn't care though.

"Looks like it" Tyki replied, his tone carrying heavy sarcasm. "You're only human now, so what's he to expect? You'll die just like any other human now...Weak"

"I don't care. I'll figure out something until then" She said, her voice sounding strained now. She didn't want Tyki's words to get to her, but they did anyway. She was weak now, useless. She had no way to defend herself. She was just playing strong and she was barely doing that. She was falling apart.

"Raina" Tyki's voice snapped like a whip, drawing her back to reality. Had she been slipping again? Had her mind been trying to swallow her again? Why did it do that? Did it think she was safer in her own thoughts? She felt Tyki's hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him, her violet eyes touching on his golden predator ones. "Stay here" He said, referring to her mind. She nodded, trying to. She wasn't safer in her mind. She tried to tell herself that. "Have you eaten yet today?" She shook her head now and he helped her forward, as if she needed the help.

Maybe it was better if she did indeed fade into her mind. Maybe things would be easier if she did.

Devit grit his teeth looking at the Exorcist in front of him. She was panting, her long black hair tied in pig-tails and her eyes darker than Raina's. She knew Raina, she had been at the little 'tea-party' that had been held at Raina and Fae's old house. She knew Raina and knew Raina had been with him. She had heard his and Jasdero's words, how they described their love for Raina.

Now her eyes were narrowed-angry. She must think that they had killed Raina. She flipped in the hair, dodging a bullet they shot at her. They hadn't really been aiming for her anyway. They hadn't wanted to hurt her. She landed on her feet and stood there. Her uniform was a skirt and long wide sleeves and it reminded the twins of Raina's old uniform. She still had it, but she wouldn't wear it anymore or even look at it. It reminded her – and them – of who she used to be. She stood there breathing hard and Devit lowered his gun at the same time that Jasdero did. They glanced at each other. They didn't want to fight her. Instead of a ready look, their faces carried frowns. They glanced at each other, eyes sad. They _really_ didn't want to fight her. They just didn't, because she was a part of Raina's past. They were reluctant to destroy anymore of it, even if it was in the form of an Exorcist. Their Noah Blood boiled, but their human blood, the blood that was rational and cared deeply for Raina, knew that killing this female Exorcist was a bad idea.

"What happened to her?" asked the Exorcist. They forgot the girl's name, but they hadn't really paid attention to her. They looked at each other, thinking if they should tell her that Raina was at least alive. Should they just shoot her? Should they try and block her in with Ice or let loose Jasdevi's Grudge on her?

"She's alive" Jasdero finally answered. The Exorcist looked relieved, the angry-narrowed looked leaving her face. She leaned to her one leg, her boots that were her Innocence shinning in the sun. She looked happy to hear that Raina was still alive, for that obviously was what she had been asking about. Should they fight again? Or should they just run with the Innocence, which was being held by an Akuma in the distance. The Akuma made a break for it, holding the precious Innocence. They had to destroy it, before they went back to the Manor. Being around Innocence made Raina sad and seeing it destroyed nearly made her sick. They always tried to keep her as comfortable as possible, which meant doing little things like that to keep her happy.

"Why haven't we seen her?" asked the Exorcist girl, her body tensing again.

"She's sick" answered Devit, which wasn't a lie. She was a little sick. "We keep a close eye on her now."

"You're not lying?" she tilted her head.

"We wouldn't hurt her" Jasdero added. It was true, though Devit did hurt her, little bruises from gripping her too tight. It was bruises now, but one day it could be a broken bone. She felt so fragile in his arms. He felt like he could break her. He probably could and he wasn't just thinking about her physically anymore.

"Well you _are_ Noah...you could be lying to me" she said. Devit would have replied to her, but he heard the Akuma with the Innocence saying that he had escaped. With that Jasdevi backed up, taking tiny steps before blowing a green bomb her way and hurrying away. They were in the ruins of this old town. They jumped onto an old building, running along the ledge that was once part of the roof that had collapsed. They dodged through the town, using their Noah speed. They heard her following.

"Red Bomb" They muttered lightly and threw a red bomb in her general direction and then hurried to get away while she might be distracted. Their feet pounded against the ruined and uneven streets. They knew it would be smart to split up, but apart they only had their brute strength. They were nothing without each other. They jumped up the side of a building and then bound across it quick as a flash.

"...Sound Shackles" they heard her voice carry over the town and suddenly she was in front of them. They stopped, holding their guns up. They didn't want to fight her. They really didn't but to go home to Raina, to see her another day, they would. She was more important to them than her past was after all. If they had to remove this piece, well she never had to know about it. Of course, just knocking her the fuck out was always another option they had.

They glanced at each other and nodded.

"Say goodnight" They whispered together and aimed their guns at her, fingers on the triggers and ready to shoot.

Raina sat at the table eating what she supposed to be some type of stew. Road was clinging to Tyki, speaking about some new toy she had to play with. Raina supposed it was an actual person that she could bloody up and kill. She seemed to like to dress them up too. She sometimes dressed up Raina. It made Raina remember when she had been brought here and had almost been killed by Fae. That scar was light on her arm, shadowed by her flame-scar. This place was also when she had decided that she did like Devit more than a friend.

It was nearly diner time. She was eating now though because she didn't like to eat with the other Noahs if Devit and Jasdero weren't present. She'd eat now if they didn't get home in time. It was a nearby mission which was why they would be back so soon. Just a simple destroy-the-Innocence mission. Easy, they had done that before. Sometimes they failed and sometimes they got their mission done correctly. Not that the Earl really seemed to praise them. He praised all his Noah at once though. He went on and on about how they were precious to him. She wondered if they really were or not. She didn't really care if he was lying, there was nothing she could do if he was. She was only human now.

"He's absolutely adorable. I wish I had gotten a girl though, but this boy has long hair. I think he looks sorta like a girl..." Road was still talking about her toy and it wasn't enough to distract Raina from her own thoughts. She was waiting for them to come home. Were they going to be home for dinner? What about Fae? When would she be home. The worry she had for her twin broke through her thoughts.

"Tyki" Road stopped talking and both she and Tyki looked at her. "When will Fae be home?"

He blinked, as if he didn't know and then he frowned. "Not at least for a few days. She has a mission near where Skin came from. She probably won't be back for at least three days, if not six." He said and he looked like he wished he was with her right at that moment. She couldn't blame him. She wished she was with Devit and Jasdero, but she knew she would just get in the way. She had to stay in the Manor, even if she hated being there without them.

Just then, the doors creaked open and her head turned towards the hallway they would have to enter through to get to the dining room. They had to come through this room to get to their room. They did come in, but Devit was limping and Jasdero's one arm looked broken. She stood fast, knocking back the chair.

"Are you okay?" she heard the words come out of her mouth. There was no thought, only worry now. Devit started to limp past, frowning and Jasdero followed, holding his arm. They moved past her without so much as a glance in her direction. She followed them though, right behind them. They had blood on them but she had no idea if it was theirs or the Exorcist they had no doubt fought. Devit's leg was bleeding though. Actually it looked like they had fallen from some height to get the wounds they did. She followed them though to their room.

They sat on their beds and then looked at her. They didn't say anything, just looked. She sighed and then went to Jasdero's side, pressing her fingers lightly against his arm. He did nothing to stop her until she founded the broken part and he yelped, swatting her fingers away. She frowned and then turned to Devit's leg, which now she could see the tear in his pants, the cut on his thigh. It was a jagged thing, something made by sharp rocks and a long fall. Blood dripped onto his bed, but he didn't seem to care. She sighed.

That was when the Earl entered, followed by four Akuma dressed as nurses. The Akuma went straight for Devit and Jasdero. Raina went to exit the room when the Earl's hand darting out in front of her path stopped her. She knew Devit and Jasdero were now focused on her and the Earl. Maybe their fingers were reaching for their guns so that they could protect her. She hoped they weren't.

"Wait" the Earl said. "I'm going to have your scars checked up upon after the boys are treated" She backed away from him and then went to lean against the wall. She stared straight ahead, not wanting to watch their treatment. She would hear their story later after the Earl left. Who had they fought? Had they truly fallen like she suspected or was there something that she was missing? She worried some more and before she knew it, she felt fingers on her arms and she looked into the eyes of the Akuma-Nurse. She stepped away from the wall and allowed the Akuma to remove her cloves and roll up her sleeves. She went through the tests she had been through a million times before. She allowed them to do as they needed to with her shell of a body and then when they were done, the Akuma turned to the Earl.

"Sir...she is nearly fit to be put to use"

These words sent a chill down her spine. She felt these words spelled out her certain doom. If she was well enough to be "put to use" this could be many things and most of them were horrible to Raina. She looked at the Earl, having trouble keeping her mind focused on him. It wanted to hide, to run from this. She felt woozy, possibly on the hinge of fainting. It would be like it was the first time. Sometimes her wounds had hurt so bad when she first got them that she would literally faint to get away from the pain. She had never fainted because her mind wanted to retreat so badly though. She took it as a bad sign though.

"Excellent. I have use for you Raina. I'll be putting you to good use soon" With that the Earl and his Akuma left the room. Raina swayed. She stumbled back and fell to the floor, her head spinning, seeking retreat...but Devit and Jasdero. She forced her mind to focus – focus! - so that she could make sure they were alright. She turned and pushed herself up, first to her knees and then to her feet. She looked at the twins from where they were on the bed. They looked worried about her, but like they were still in pain.

Devit's leg was now wrapped – or so she assumed since he had a new pair of pants on – and Jasdero's broken arm was in a sling. Devit motioned for her to come to them with his head. It was rare for him to make her come to him. She realized he was hurt worse than she thought. His leg must have been really sour. She walked to the bed and sat in between them. She took both of their hands. She held their warmer hands in her cold ones. She wanted them to know that if they wanted to talk about what happened, she was there for them. She knew they probably knew that before she took their hands though.

"We saw an Exorcist you knew" Jasdero finally said. "She had Innocence Boots and long dark hair" He described her to Raina, but Raina knew who this Exorcist was after he simply told her that she had Innocence Boots. She closed her eyes, only for a moment and then looked at Jasdero.

"Yes, I knew her"

"She asked how you were" Devit spoke now, his voice was a little rough but Raina didn't know why. She just listened to him instead. "We tried to not fight her! We _tried_! But instead she insisted. We didn't hurt her really bad – don't give me that look, she was able to get away – but she used some wind attack to knock us down over this small cliff in the ruins. We were knocked out for a while, but we woke up and came home."

She frowned at his story. She expected something like that, but she was still worried about them. She let go of their hands and put her arms around them in a hug-like manner, pulling them both close. They allowed her to pull them close for she was a human and couldn't harm them. She was a human and they loved her and she loved them.

"What does the Earl have in store for me?" she couldn't help but ask it out loud, ask them as if they would know what the Earl was going to do to. She didn't know. She couldn't know but she wished she did. She wanted to know what he had planned for her. She wished she wasn't human, she wished she was a Noah, she wished she knew what she was to do or what he was going to ask her.

"I don't know..." Devit started

"...But we won't let him hurt you" Jasdero finished for his twin. They both had their arms around her too and they hugged her close. "Rai means so much to Jasdevi"

"You're the only other person we've ever bonded with"

"But I'm not part of your real bond" she said, her voice soft.

Devit hugged her closer, closing his eyes. She leaned into his chest, feeling safe, feeling like everything would be alright in the end. She hoped that it would be alright in the end.

"I love you Raina and that's good enough for us"

"Hey!" Jasdero snapped, pulling her from Devit's arms into his own, well is one good arm, he still seemed strong even with only one arm working. His embrace, though he only used one arm, was more brotherly though. He held her close though. "I love Rai too!" He pouted. Devit looked at his twin for a long moment before looking at Raina.

"Oh no!" She said, a frown coming to her face. She pushed herself out of Jasdero's embrace and sat between them, crossing her arms over her chest. She felt like herself as she did this, felt like she used to be. She liked the feeling and wished she could keep it, but she knew it would fade too soon. "You are not putting me in the middle of this!"

"But...Rain..." Devit whined. She glared at him and then eyed Jasdero up as well. She laid back on their bed with a huff.

"You guys are morons" she muttered. She was glad she still felt like herself.

"That's not very nice!" Jasdero was still pouting and it seemed Devit had joined him in this game. They both laid by her, jutting their lower lips out and giving her puppy eyes. She tsked at them.

"But you're my morons" she took their hands again, her eyes softening. She really did love them both. She closed her eyes, not wanting them to see the fire fading from her eyes again, not wanting them to watch her revert to who she was now. She wanted to be who she had been before. Tough and strong and even a little cocky but she had loved them.

Why wasn't her love enough to save herself?

* * *

Okay, chapter two. Thank you for the good reviews, they made me very excited to write this chapter. Oh and if anyone cares, I'm re-writing/editing So I Thought. I'm not changing much, but I will be fixing grammar errors and such. So, with that said, leave me even more reviews and I hope you enjoyed chapter two. I have good plans for this story, I hope you all stick around to see what they are~


	3. The Earl's Plans

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
The Earl's Plans**

It was warm in the bed. Safe. Raina felt both Devit and Jasdero by her sides. She knew they were both near her and that she had fallen asleep in their room with them. She held their hands in hers. She looked at them, hurt from falling when fighting Lenalee. She knew it had been Lenalee. It obviously was Lenalee. Who else had Innocence-Boots? No one that she knew of. She didn't want to think too hard about Innocence though because she missed her Innocence. She really did. She wanted to look at her hands, wanted to look at where the rings used to be but it hurt to think that _she_ destroyed her Innocence. How could she use the power of the Dark Matter? She had been an Exorcist. Maybe the selfishness she had – the want for Exorcists and Noah to be able to get along – had allowed her to steal some of the Dark Matter, to use it to destroy her own Innocence, allowed her to remain alive...

She stopped thinking of such things. It gave her a headache. She let go of their hands and stood, still in yesterday's dress. She would soon be put to use for the Earl. She would soon have to work for him, soon have to do...do what? What would he do with her? What would happen to her? Where would he send her? She was a weak Human. She had no strengths now, she had no powers. She wasn't a Noah, she wasn't even an Exorcist anymore, she was a plain old human. She hated that the most. She couldn't defend the people she cared about. She couldn't shield her loved ones anymore. She was defenseless and they had to defend _her_.

"Pitiful" she sighed, the word rolling off her tongue.

That was how she felt. The sigh caused a reaction though. She heard Devit stir and she turned to look at him, to see if he was indeed rising. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, smearing the makeup he had fallen asleep with on across his cheeks. She walked back to him, the few steps she had taken away from him and leaned down, wiping the makeup off his cheeks with her fingers. He looked up at her, golden eyes still groggy from sleep. She smiled lightly at him.

"Mornin' Rain" he said, and then he yawned and stretched before standing up. He was several inches taller than her now. He had gotten taller, but she didn't mind. He walked past her and got into a drawer with clothes. He started digging through the drawer. She waited for him to get through the drawer. He stopped and she could see that he took something from the drawer and stuffed it in his coat pocket. He then started to walk out of the room. She hurried after him, stumbling slightly in her haste and over something on their floor. He walked out into the hall. He was obviously letting Jasdero sleep a little more. Jasdero must not be feeling well or he wanted him to get more rest so that he could let his arm heal. She noticed Devit was limping a little less, not dragging his bad leg as much.

"How long till your leg is healed?" she asked him, as they walked down the hall.

"Not very long Raina" he answered, his voice gentle with her. She knew it wouldn't take long, he was a Noah he healed even faster than she did, but he was still hurt pretty bad. He opened a door and held it open for her to walk in. It was her room. "Take off your dress, let me see your scars"

Not an unusual request.

She did as he said, taking off her gloves as well. She stood there wearing only her underwear, but not feeling awkward. Devit had seen her naked after all. She didn't need to feel awkward just standing there with her underwear.

He took her one hand and held it lightly in his open palm, looking at the scars that traced over the back of her hand. Only her middle finger was scarred. The back of her hands carried scars that looked like fire, flickering on her hand, burning into her nerves. He flipped her hand over so he could see her wrist. The scars there were duller, almost as if they were fading – she could only hope – but she remembered how long it took for her to be able to move her wrist correctly, how long it hurt.

"How much does it still hurt?" he asked.

"My shoulders sometimes...sometimes it's hard to breathe." She answered.

His fingers were rubbing her shoulder then, as if that could get rid of the pain. She wished it could. She wished she could be herself for him. She smiled lightly, trying to assure him that everything would be alright. Maybe not right now, maybe it wouldn't be alright for a long time, but it would be alright soon. Someday.

"I got you a gift" he said suddenly and she looked at him. "I noticed when you look at your fingers...you get sad" He frowned now, looking at her fingers as well. She looked down at her fingers as well. His hand reached into his coat pocket. "I got these for you" He took out a box and opened it. Inside it were two rings, silver with Celtic loops designs on them. "I didn't remember what your old ones looked like...but I wanted to get something close"

She looked at the rings for a long time. She felt tears prick her eyes for some strange reason, emotions boiling up inside her.

"Devit...they're...They're...I...thank you" she reached for the rings with trembling hands. She touched them and they were ice cold. She slipped them onto her middle fingers, they fit perfectly. She looked at them and she felt the tears run down her cheeks. "Thank you" she whispered again.

"It's not something you have to thank me for..." he said, his voice soft as well. "As long as you're happy." He wiped at the tears on her face. "So there's no need to cry okay?" his voice sounded stressed as he said that. She realized that he didn't like seeing her crying, that he thought he upset her. She laughed through her tears at him.

"Devi…" Her voice was amused and almost her. "I'm crying because I'm happy!"

He looked at her for a long moment and wiped at more of her tears. "Girls are so weird" He muttered, not really sounding like he meant it. "Get dressed, we'll go wake up Jasdero and have breakfast" She smiled and hurried to get dressed. For the first time she didn't feel the need to put on gloves. She didn't want to cover up her new rings.

Her dress was a light blue that day, short-sleeved and long, tighter at the top, but it hung a bit more loosely at the bottom. She wore slipper-like shoes and let her hair loose that day. She made sure to wash her face, so it didn't look like she had been crying. When she was ready, Devit had already left to get ready himself and she hurried after him, feeling like her old self. She didn't know why she felt good that day. Maybe it was because Devit gave her a gift. Maybe it was because rings now sat on her fingers and that was something familiar. She wasn't sure which it was but she was happy, closer to who she had been before.

They hurried back to where Jasdero was still sleeping. He was curled up on his good side, still sleeping peacefully. Raina sat on the bed next to him and gave the blonde boy a gentle shake. He didn't stir. She shook him again and there was a slight grunt from him but he was clearly not waking up. She put her hands on her hips and looked at Devit who stood at the door looking at her, a amused smirk on his face. He looked like he used to when she was a little younger, when she had been a little stronger. She looked back down at the ever-so-innocent looking Jasdero. She stroked some of hair back from his face, in a gentle movement. She smiled and then looked back at Devit.

"Hurry and wake him" he urged. "I'm hungry"

"Alright, alright" then she shook Jasdero again, harder bit she was still careful on account of his arm. He swatted at her with his good arm. "Jasdero!" she shook him again. Finally his golden eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her. She smiled. "Sleepyhead, it's time to get up."

"Rai...? You almost look like..." He rubbed his eyes with his good hand and sat up, yawning, his hair a mess. "You almost look like how...you were" He said the words carefully as if he didn't want to insult her. She laughed, looking carefree.

"Are you still asleep? It's breakfast time Jasdero. C'mon" She jumped off the bed and went to Devit's side, feeling lighter than she had in a long while. She hugged Devit carefully, not wanting her scars to act up and ruin her day.

Devit seemed worried about something and he eyed her carefully. She gave him a reassuring smile and released him from her embrace, turning to go back into the hall. Jasdero got up and ambled after her, straightening his hair with his fingers. Devit followed when his brother was at his side. They watched her and she knew they were watching her. She tried to tone herself down a little. Had she really been so bad? Had she really been so...dull? She'd have to try and slowly change...back. She knew she had been bad. She knew she had been...wrong, but she hadn't realized how bad she had been.

She had to try and be better for them.

They arrived in the dining hall. Fae wasn't there. Tyki was and he looked up at Raina. She smiled at him. He gave her a shocked look. She sat down in her usual chair, Devit sitting next to her and Jasdero sat on the other side of him. She looked at the breakfast that was already set up and reached for her plate so she could put her food on it and eat. She had just grabbed a pancake when Skin sat down, clearly in a bad mood. She looked at him, her violet eyes almost questioning and he shoved her over a little, so he could get to the sweet food. She nearly fell off her chair.

"Skin, watch what the fuck you're doing" snapped Devit.

"Shut the hell up clown" he growled and proceeded to eat. Raina put a hand on Devit's arm, as if to calm him and he looked over at her and pulled her chair closer to his and further away from Skin's, as if that would protect her from the large Noah. She knew that if that larger Noah really wanted to hurt her, he would. He hated her because she used to be an Exorcist and saw her as a threat. She rolled her eyes at that. She was no longer a threat. She thought about this while she ate. She really wasn't, which left no reason for the man to hate her. She didn't even know why he bothered to waste the energy.

After breakfast, Raina went with the boys for them to get their wounds checked out. It seemed that it would take Jasdero another day or two to heal, while Devit got off a lot better with his wound. He'd be better by the next day. That was a relief to Raina. She wanted them to take it easy that day, so she went to the living room and read by the fireplace, sitting on the couch while Devit and Jasdero sat on either side of her. Devit had his one arm possessively around her waist, but she didn't mind as she read the book.

Noah came and went in the room. Lulubell wandered in, in her cat form of course, to lap at a bowl of milk sitting in the corner and to lay by the fire and take a nap. Sometimes when she was in her cat form she would let Raina pet her, but other times she wouldn't. It depended on who was in the room. Right now, she knew that Lulubell wanted a nap though, so she left the black cat alone.

Tyki came in once or twice. He'd talk to Devit and Jasdero but he left her alone since she was reading. She was kind of happy for that. From the tone of his voice, though she didn't look up at him, he sounded annoyed about something. She didn't pay attention to what he was telling the twins though. It was nothing that had to do with her and she had found a long time ago that her mind worked better when it wasn't stressed over things that she had no play in.

Road came in and actually demanded Raina's attention. She shoved some doll in Raina's face, one that an Akuma was still in the process of finishing. The Akuma stood behind Road, fluttering, as if nervous. The doll resembled a mix between herself and Fae. The doll had long nearly-white hair, pale skin, but no scars. Road seemed to really like the doll. "I'm going to use this to find new dresses for you" she said, stroking the doll's hair. "I think I want to do your hair tomorrow. It's too bad Fae won't be back yet" She sighed. "Which room will you be staying in tonight?"

Raina had to give a blank look.

"I know you sometimes spend the night in Jasdevi's room" She smiled, an all too knowing smile and Raina remembered that Road wasn't the child she appeared to be once again. Devit and Jasdero had warned her of that when she first came to stay in the Noah Manor.

"Oh. My room." she answered finally. She looked back at her book to hide her blush, the bruise too easy to see on her neck. Devit turned towards her, leaning his head against her neck, but the bruise was on the other side.

"Devit, you should be more gentle with your toy. She'll break you know. She's only human now."

"She's not a toy" Devit sat straight up now, his pose nearly aggressive. "I love her" He had a lot easier time saying that now. Before he wouldn't want to admit it, but now he said it. He said it and she knew he meant it.

"Whatever you say, Devi" Then she turned, tossing the doll to the Akuma, and walked away. She threw one more grin at the trio. Raina promptly returned to her book, not wanting to think anymore about what Road said. She just wanted to read and forget.

The day went by quickly after that incident. Raina didn't look up anymore when someone approached but it was usually an Akuma anyway. That night she went to her room alone, just as she told Road she would be, but it wasn't long before Devit showed up. When he showed up, it never took long.

She was in her nightgown, she had just changed into it and she looked at him. He looked at her, his eyes confused. She looked at the rings on her fingers, the joy still very deep for him giving them to her. He was looking at her rings too when she looked up.

"If I would have known that those rings would have made you so happy, I would have given them to you sooner" He sighed then.

"Do I really act so..bad?" she asked. He looked at her now. "Everyone seems so shocked about how I'm acting..." She frowned now.

"Raina you haven't been yourself for a very long time." his words were gentle. "It's just a shock about the change that you've had within...the course of a few minutes really" he was frowning now too. She bit her lip, unsure how to take this. She knew she hadn't been herself, but she had worried them that much? Really? She hadn't meant to but it had been hard for her to accept the fact that she was a normal weak human and worse she'd never be able to protect Devit and Jasdero again. They'd always have to protect her. She hated that.

"I'm sorry" she said, her voice soft. She felt bad. "I'll...try to be like my old self though. I'll try to be like I was"

She knew it was a hard promise to make and it was one she knew she might not be the best idea to make it. She wanted Devit happy though, she always had wanted him to be happy, even when she didn't love him. She had wanted it anyway. She decided to change the subject to something easier to think about.

"Do you remember when we were children? When you climbed up that tree so high? I cried because I thought you were going to fall and that got you to come back down"

"I only did it on a dare" He said, rolling his golden eyes. She smiled though. She leaned closer to him, her warm breath on his neck.

"A stupid dare. You could have been killed" She leaned away, raising one of her eyebrows at him. He frowned at her. She turned, flicking her hair and sat down on the bed, the nightgown coiling around her feet. He looked at her and then walked to her.

"I obviously wasn't though" His hand touched her shoulder and he leaned down kissing her more passionately than should have been aloud. She didn't want to touch him, to encourage his touch, but her fingers slid against his chest. He pulled away from her panting. "I swear you're going to be the death of me" His voice was low and husky though.

She liked it.

She put one hand on his shoulder, sliding her leg up his until she could lean it against his hip. He looked down at her his eyes burning and she smiled, ever so slightly. She felt coy, teasing...she wanted to tease him.

"Or I'll drive you mad" She replied. "Which ever one comes first" She made her voice sound husky too and really she was feeling it. It was like her nerves were on fire. She needed something to quench that fire and he was defiantly it.

"Then drive me mad" He leaned back down to her lips but the kiss was short lived. He nipped at her lip and then her neck. His lips touched the sensitive base of her neck "I'll be more careful this time" His whispered, pausing only for a moment. She pushed off his jacket, looking him straight in the eye.

"I like it when you're rough" She whispered roughly. He sighed, looking away. She dug her nails into his bare skin. He gasped, but he wasn't in pain and she knew it. "You like it too" she said, but her voice wasn't accusing.

"I'm going to kill you one of these days" It wasn't a threat, merely a statement of the fact. She heard the fear behind his worlds. She kept looking into his eyes, digging her nails deeper into his skin. She saw ruby red on her nails.

"Until then, this will be one hell of a good time" She removed her fingers from his skin and he looked at the crescent shaped cuts that dripped red. He looked at her, his mouth set in a frown but she wouldn't have any of it. She kissed him, harder than he kissed her, digging her fingers into his hair. She pulled him onto the bed with her.

He pushed himself up, so he was over her. Her fingers were still in his hair. "Raina, you're being an idiot" he growled.

"Or you're being a jackass" She growled back. He jumped up, ripping himself out of her arms to stalk across the room. She sat up, glaring at him. "Why the hell are you being like this?"

"Shut up!" He growled and he twisted away, so he was no longer facing her. "Damn it Raina – Damn it all!" He hand his hand in his hair. Raina noticed that the cuts she had left in his skin were already closed and healing. She looked at him, at the back of his head.

"I'm sorry Devit" her voice was soft. "I don't know myself anymore"

He turned fast, a motion that was a blur to her eyes. "You don't know yourself? I barely fucking know you anymore!" His words stung and she felt the tears in her eyes. She stood then and pointed at the door.

"Then get the fuck out of my room" She said, her voice hurt. He looked at her for a long moment and sighed.

"Raina...I'm sorry" He said, his words were gentle and he took a step towards her.

"We're just not the same as we used to be Devit...What happened to us?" She sat back down on the bed, looking upset. He took a seat by her and brought her into his arms, holding her close.

"I don't know Rain. I'm sorry though. What I said was cruel and harsh" She giggled lightly, though it was hardly the setting for a laugh. "What?"

"I never heard you say sorry to anyone but me" She looked up at him, the tears lingering in her eyes.

"Because I never had a reason to"

That shocked her. She would have imagined that he might try to deny that. He didn't. He just gave her a reason, his voice even and honest. She looked down, her eyes glued to the ground, her bare feet and the gown that curled around them, soft and delicate. It was given to her for her birthday from her twin. She had given Fae and beautiful dress and a matching pair of shoes.

He sat with her on the bed. He took her hand and held it both tightly and gently.

"I love you Raina" She closed her eyes and she curled up on her bed, pulling herself away from him. He turned and looked at her. "I'll leave you alone tonight." Without another word he stood and left. She glanced at his face as he turned. He was upset, but she didn't want to say anything. She let him close the door and she pulled the cover her head.

The morning came and Raina was still alone. She felt stiff from being curled in a ball all night. She stretched and got dressed by herself – something she didn't often do because she was too unaware of the world. She felt...sad. She had fought horribly with Devit last night. She was combing her hair, her back to the door, and she heard the door open. She dropped the brush and spun around.

"Devit I'm so – Oh" She stopped, seeing it was the Earl instead of Devit.

"Good, good, you're awake. I know what I want you to do now. It's breakfast time and you weren't there. Come, I'll explain to everyone when we arrive." She hesitated, not wanting to go with the Earl. He gestured for her to follow him. She pulled her hair back and then followed him out into the hall. He had her walk in front of him, his hand on her shoulder. She stumbled forward, nervous and afraid of what was happening. She wished Devit had stayed the night with her. They finally entered the dining room and everyone was already sitting there. Everyone looked up at her and she stopped. It only lasted a moment before the Earl pushed her forward again. She saw Fae's chair was empty. She hurried to her seat though, to Devit's side. Maybe she would feel safe then.

She sat down, looking at her lap. She heard the Earl sit down then too and she looked up at him finally. His grin, as always, was on his face. He looked at her and she looked back down, her breath catching in her throat. What was going to happen to her?

"Raina, today I have decided your fate. It's too bad your sister is still on her mission and will miss this. She would be interested in this. I have decided to allow you to claim your fortune as the last surviving Fitzgerald. Your house is nearly finished you know. Soon you'll be able to move right in. I will be supplying you with servants" He leered at her and she felt the blood starting to drain from her face. She didn't like the sound of this.

"A...alright" she agreed softly. "What about Devit and Jasdero? What about Fae?" she asked. She had to know. She knew Devit was tense beside her, but the Earl sat at the other end so she could not see him.

"They will be doing their jobs as Noah. They will remain with the Manor" The words shocked her. She sat absolutely still. She swallowed hard, trying not to show too much fear.

"W...well what will I do?" she asked, she was trying to keep her head straight.

"You will do as I tell you to"

"And if I don't want to?"

It was silent for a long tense moment.

"You won't live much longer" She dared a glance at Devit just as he slammed his hand on the table. His face was aggressive. She knew before he had met her he had listened to the Earl without fail. She felt bad that she was endangering him and his brother.

"Don't threaten her!" he growled. "She can do whatever she damn well wants!" He slammed his hands down again, glaring at the Earl. The Earl looked at him evenly.

"You wanted her to get out of the manor, get some fresh air and now she can" He said and Devit clenched his fists, glaring downward. Raina didn't like the way he looked at the ground.

"I'll do it" she said. Devit and Jasdero's eyes were on her, while her eyes were on the Earl. "I'll pack and-"

"No need to pack, you'll just leave as you are in the morning." the Earl said, voice now pleasant. He was happy now that she had agreed to his plans. She figured that he would be happy after that. She bit her lip and stole a glance at Jasdero and Devit. Devit looked angry at her, Jasdero's eyes were widened with worry. Tyki was looking at her too, looking at her as if she was crazy. She supposed she might be since she was just giving up to the Earl's will.

"Alright" she said, her voice meek.

"Now everyone enjoy their breakfast!" He seemed gleeful and while most Noah did as he said, beginning to dig into their food. Raina stood and left. She heard Devit and Jasdero following her. She knew they would. She went right to her room and stood inside of it.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Devit snapped as soon as he had slammed the door shut.

"I was thinking of not letting you get in trouble like a dumb ass!" She said, frowning at him.

"Oh! So you thought it better that you go and disappear for a while, go play human?"

"If you forgot Devit, I _am_ a fucking human!"

"Stop! Stop!" squeaked Jasdero. He hugged her as if shielding her from Devit's angry glare. She looked over his shoulder at Devit. Devit's gaze did not soften, in fact he looked angrier that Jasdero was trying to shield her. She sighed, eyes looking away from Devit.

"Raina, you can't go"

"You aren't the boss of me Devit"

"You can't" Jasdero added.

"Why not?" she asked, annoyance making her voice snap. She shoved Jasdero away. She only got away from him because he let her shove him back – otherwise she would have been fucked. She turned away from them. She knew why they didn't want her to leave though. She knew...

The Earl would have complete control of all three of them. Keeping her away from Jasdero and Devit meant that they couldn't protect her or move her away from the danger. The Earl could threaten her to get them to do what he wanted, and he could do the same to her.

"I have to do this" She whispered. She didn't hear and argument so she turned, found Devit behind her and buried her face in his chest. She knew Jasdero was holding onto her too. She felt the tears run down her face, she knew Jasdero was crying too. "I love you guys"

"We love you too"

* * *

Sorry this took so long! I've been trying to work on it but I haven't been able to just because I was so busy with college. Here it is though and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Fights and drama and lot of love. Raina seems a little more normal, but what will happen to her when she's separated from Jasdevi?


	4. Orders

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Orders**

The manor was beautiful.

That was what Raina thought of it. It looked nothing like her home manor, in fact it was even bigger and grander – as if her fortune had doubled. She knew the Earl just added in extra rooms for some reason and a grand, huge ballroom. She only knew this because he told her himself. Next to her stood Tyki Mikk, he had to escort her here – as she was a single woman who was now going to claim her entire family name. That was not something women did, but as the "only" living family member left, it was her "job". She sighed, pulling at the ribbon that tied the top part of her dress together. It was a delicate thing, tied together with a single ribbon which made a large bow at her neck. It was itchy. She didn't like it. The dress was thick and swirled around her feet. The heels made her an inch taller and were giving her blisters. Her hair was pulled up and it kind of hurt how tight the Akuma had styled it. She didn't like it. There was another bow in her braided part of her hair. She hated how she looked. There were long gloves that covered her arms, that hid the scars and the way the dress was designed, it showed some skin, but no scared skin. The Earl had made sure she would have beautiful clothes like this. She wished she could just wear the dressed that she had been wearing that the Noah Manor. They were lose and easy to move in.

"Is this new Manor to your liking?" Asked Tyki, sounding rather formal. She glared over at him, a frown setting on her lips. She glanced down at her rings again.

"Is that a line you're required to say?" She asked, holding her head high. She did not want to show any sign of weakness. She had to be strong so that way Tyki could tell the twins she was alright. They had to think that she was going to be fine so they wouldn't worry about her. She had to make sure they knew that she would be _fine_.

Tyki chuckled. "I suppose it is, but do you like it?"

"I find it pleasurable enough" She said with a shrug. She looked at it again and then Tyki took her hand and pulled her towards the Manor. She stumbled after his fast pace. Him tugging on her arm made it ache. She looked at her rings and she felt a little better. They were designed much like her Innocence had been. Devit had probably had them specially made. She frowned at that. The door to her new Manor was swept open and inside stood servants.

"There are all Akuma, given to you as a gift from the Earl. You are protected and they will not kill you. They're all at least level twos so they're intelligent enough to follow any of your orders" Tyki explained. There had to be at least a hundred of them standing in the room. Male and Female, dressed as butlers and maids. They all bowed at the same time. She looked at them all and something settled in her stomach, something bitter. She was being spied on so she did what she was being told. She knew that if she did something wrong – she would be reported. A shiver ran down her spin.

"Tell the Earl that I thank him for his most...generous gift then" She said, trying to keep polite. She didn't want the Earl to get mad at her. She had to keep on his good side right now. She couldn't afford to stray at this point. She was walking a narrow road.

Tyki waved to the Akuma, sending them to work. They buzzed around like bees and Raina watched them for a moment before Tyki lead her away again. She followed him up the main set of stairs and to the hallway with rooms lining it. She noticed that the one side had a few doors to it and that the other side had only one, near the end of the hallway. Tyki opened it and walked in.

"This is your room Raina" He informed her. It was huge, sprawling and filled with pillows and chairs. It looked like a place for a Harem rather than a bedroom. Cloth draped on the walls, large windows would open over the garden and there was a door that she assumed led to her own bathroom. The room was beautiful and was colored in light, even tones. Light reds – not pink, but more of a salmon color. There were some darker reds and a bit of black in the woods. It was a place she felt like she'd feel safe. She loved it.

"I love it" she said simply and went to the bed which was made of dark wood and the salmon colored blankets. The pillows were the color of fresh blood and soft clouds. She touched the blankets. She wished Devit was there. Jasdero too. She bit her lip, wanting to cry. "They'd like it too"

"They'll come to see you" Tyki said, she bet he shrugged too but she didn't turn to look at him though.

"When the Earl allows them to...If he ever does" she closed her eyes. She could feel the tears.

"I heard that he's allowing them to stay over night with you...tomorrow night I believe? Probably to ensure your good behavior" She turned to look at him now. He was leaning against the closed door. "You do have one task to complete first"

"Of course I do" she said, unsurprised.

"You need to re-establish your family's name so you're to go to a party tonight. You already have a dress and a back story on your scars and what happened to you. It's a tragedy – the Earl loves those"

"Fill me in then..."

The group of Nobles sat around Raina in shock. They were all much older than herself, probably with children of their own. They had their mouths covered with their hands, the men and the woman. Raina sat in the middle of them looking somber. It was the party of the one Earls in the city and he touched her shoulder, looking very unhappy.

"I had no idea that was why you had been missing. If anyone asked your father he would tell no one. He just said you 'left'" He sighed and shook his head, his dark brown hair falling in his eyes. There was a little gray in it, but for some reason it just made him look wise. "And those scars that mar such a beautiful body! I understand why you hide them Miss Fitzgerald."

She had showed them a little of her scar, just a little to show them that she wasn't lying about her disappearance, as Tyki had advised her to. Her story was tragic, just as he had warned her it was, but she used it as the Earl had made it.

The basics of it – her mother had left a note for her father, hidden away before she died, that said if Raina had not improved into a young lady, she would be sent away to a private school in England. She made her way to the school and spent a few years there, but tried to run away – with a boy she supposedly "loved". Only thing was, on their way to another town, they were mugged and her "boy" was killed. She was able to get away with no injuries. She wandered trying to find her way home. She stayed in old broken down houses and stole to get food. Then one night, when she was nearly home, the house she was sleeping in caught fire – resulting in her horrible scars. Finally, she was assisted in getting home by the Earl's family – making the Earl the hero.

The Nobles seemed to buy it and that was all that mattered. That meant Devit could come see her soon. She already missed him. The Nobles went on speaking about her story for a little while and then the topics moved onto other things.

"So Miss Fitzgerald, as the last remaining Fitzgerald and the heiress to the Fitzgerald Fortune, you must want to marry soon, yes?" Asked someone. She didn't see who it was, she was too busy trying not to choke on her tea.

"Um...Excuse me?" She said, coughing lightly.

A man with a round belly, a bad comb-over and a monocle gazed at her. "Getting married – I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind by now" He said simply.

"No...actually it has not. I'm..." She almost said 'involved with someone' but she quickly corrected herself "still grieving for my lost love and my lost family" She replied, moving some of he hair from her face.

"Oh...Well I expect you'll find a good man here. There are many good men in this city – men that would love to be with you, scars or not"

"I'm sure there are" She said, forcing a smile. She sipped at her tea, staring down at the glass. She looked up and saw people dancing a little while off. There was a young man there with green eyes that looked like Devit's when he was a human. She knew the man wasn't Devit, he had short white-blonde hair. His hair was even lighter than her own. He smiled at her and walked towards her. She looked at the older Nobles. She was nearly a Duchess in her own right – though her father was not an Duke, he had been very close to becoming one when he died. He had been a part of the Noble Elite, a role she had taken over for him.

"Excuse me, Miss?" She looked up as the young man spoke to her. He was handsome in his own right, but she was uninterested in him.

She turned to look at him, her tea still in her hand. She could have been drinking wine, but she preferred to be sober for the night. She had to make an attempt to be nice to this young man. She didn't know who his father was and it wasn't a good idea to make the wrong people angry – and that would include making the Earl angry. He wouldn't let Devit and Jasdero come see her.

"Um...hello" she said, playing shy.

"I'm Adam Blanc" It was a rather plain name – almost didn't sound like one that was a Noble's name. Then another man walked up, older than Adam by maybe a year and taller than him too with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

"Adam, there you are, I wanted to introduce you to my fiance-" He cut off looking at Raina and Raina was shocked to see Marc, her once-fiance. His nose was very crooked. A smiled touched Raina's lips."Raina?" the man asked in shock.

Adam looked at Marc. "You know her?"

"She was once my intended..." He said in a shock "And two fools dressed in suits attacked me last time I talked to her. The one broke my nose" He sniffed.

"Oh...Well, you must be Raina Fitzgerald then" Adam said turning back to her. He held out his hand and she put her's in his. She partly bowed and he kissed her hand. "It's a pleasure, my lady" She smiled at him, pleased that Marc's story hadn't made this new young man rude towards her.

"Adam!" snapped Marc. He was clearly annoyed. "I want to introduce you t-"

"Marc" Raina said, her tone thoughtful and now both of the young men were looking at her. "You said _two_ fools in suits attacked you just a moment ago correct? Well if I remember right, it was only _one_ of them that punched you"

Marc's face looked angry then and he stalked up to her. She moved one foot back a little, but that was only to give her a more stable stance. She willed herself to be ready. She had been trained to fight Akuama since she was a child – fighting a stupid human shouldn't be so bad.

"Marc. I believe I'll have to excuse you from this party" Adam's hand was on Marc's shoulder, stopping him from coming any close to her. She held her position. She didn't know if this was a trick of some sort. Marc just seemed angrier. "Marc. Leave else I'll call a guard" Marc's eyes narrowed and he slapped Adam's hand off his shoulder before storming off. Adam turned to her, a smile on his face. "Dear me, it seems you really embarrassed him. Tell is it true only one person that hit him? He tells that it was two that attacked him and he nearly had them..."

"Oh no, it was only one person and he just punched him once. He's very strong" She smiled a little, but remembered bruises that Devit had left on her by accident because he wasn't watching himself close enough. She always forgave him but she wished that he didn't do it quite so much. It was kind of embarrassing since the other Noah saw some of them and could probably there were bruises in other places. She nearly blushed thinking of that. She looked away for a moment and then back at Adam.

"Ah..." He sounded like he understood something and she wondered what it was, but a proper lady would not ask. "Miss Fitzgerald, would you like to dance?" He held out his hand and she glanced down at her tea before handing it to a servant who was walking by.

"I have nothing better to do but drink tea and gossip so why not?" With that she put her hand in his and he swept her out onto the dance floor. Dancing with him was nice and he managed to even make some small talk while they danced which made her enjoy his company even more. Finally, they walked off the dance floor and sat a table that had been pushed against the far end for people to rest at. He motioned for a servant to bring them some wine. The wine was sat on the table in front of them and by this point she was so thirsty she didn't even care. She sipped at it anyway only to discover she hated the bitter taste of it. She did her best to act like she was enjoying it.

"So tell me Raina, do those rings on your fingers mean you are taken?" he asked, quite suddenly.

"No, but they were given to me by someone dear to me" she answered. She did not want him perusing her, despite the fact that she was enjoying his company at the moment. She quickly shut herself away from him because she did not want him to chase after her. She knew Devit wouldn't like that.

"How...dear to you?" He was bold enough to ask and she gave him a stern look.

sc

"Dear enough" with that she stood and turned, walking away from him. Her skirt was heavy and her shoes were hurting her feet. She wanted to go home. She started towards the exit and when she was nearly there, she was halted by two young women that "worked" for her.

"Where are you going Miss Fitzgerald?" the one asked, her voice kind.

"I want to go home. I'm tired, my feet hurt and this skirt is heavy and making me sweat!" she complained to the Akuma. The Akuma looked thoughtful for a moment before, moving away from the doorway, the other following her. The three of them made their way down to where her carriage was waiting for her. She got into the carriage, stepping in gently. Her heels might break otherwise – which was annoying. She hated wearing all this stuff, the makeup making her face pale white, more so than it had been from being in the manor with little to no sun for a few months. Devit and Jasdero had taken her outside – sometimes. Not very often because they had to wait until the Earl was out or busy with something so they could take her outside. They had only been caught that one time in the end.

It didn't take long for her to get home and she was helped into her room and out of the dress by Akuma that had female bodies. It was all an act and she knew it. Raina was many things but she wasn't stupid. She lay in her bed afterwards, her eyes half-lidded as she lay in the cushions, pillows and silk sheets. It was comfortable and beautiful and lulled her to sleep.

_It was snowing._

_It was beautiful._

_She smiled at Jasdero and Devit as they stood in the field watching the snow. Her hands were not cold because they held her hands in theirs, tightly._

_Then they let go and stepped away. There was a gun shot, one was hit, one was hit, and suddenly she was holding one of them, she couldn't tell which one it was, her tears blurred her eyes. They touched her face._

_The white snow was turning red._

"_...It...was...for you..." they whispered._

_The snow continued to fall._

Raina bolted up, feeling something constricting her. She pushed it away and it fell to the floor with a smack. "Stay...Stay away!" She screamed. She could feel tears running out of her eyes. What had happened in that dream? What had happened? There had been blood and she touched her face to make sure that there was none on her face.

"Rain?"

"Rai?"

Their voices startled her out of her fear. She looked at them, her breathing still a little shaky. She knew that she had tears on her face and her hair was probably everywhere but she didn't care. She just stared at them. Both of them were shirtless, wearing their pants, but no shoes or even socks of any kind either. She took another shaky breath and clutched the blankets.

"I...I had a nightmare..." she said, her voice soft.

They both got on the bed then. They were always so caring with her. It was like she was the third part of them. "We're here" they said simply and they held her, till the slow trickle stopped. Then they got up. They put on shirts and jackets that reminded of her proper gentlemen jackets, just a little different. She supposed they'd fit in best if they were wearing that sort of thing. Jasdero combed his hair back into a sleek pony tail and he did the same with Devit's hair. Raina could help but smile at the sight of Devit dressed up a little bit, Jasdero too. They hardly looked anything like themselves. They took a few minutes to put on their regular makeup while she waited. Then Jasdero combed her hair while she sat at the vanity on the far side of the room. They talked a little. They asked her about her party the night before hand. She told them she hadn't been expecting them till that night. She was told that the Earl was pleased with her progress last night.

"He was speaking of marrying you to someone" Devit said and there was no emotion in his voice.

"Oh?" her voice was stiff. Jasdero kept combing her hair. It was relaxing to feel the brush go through her long blonde hair. It had turned a little darker for some reason – she supposed it might have been stress so it was no longer as light as it had been. She didn't mind. Some time in the sun would fix that.

"He was, but then he decided he has another party he wants you to. He wants you to host one yourself. I don't know the details. I told you everything I know" he then said. There was a little relief in his voice. He didn't want her married obviously and she knew why. She didn't want to be married either. She thought of Adam from the night before.

"If he tried to marry me to someone, I'd poison him" She said simply, it was a joke though. She didn't think she could ever bring herself to kill another human being.

"The Earl?" Devit asked, alarm in his voice.

She giggled. "No, the man he makes me marry...Of course you know I really couldn't do that"

"Why not?" asked Jasdero, leaning down and looking around her. His blond hair filtered down to mix with her's. His hair was golden though, while her hair seemed more dull compared to his. A frown turned her lips at that, but she looked at him so she could answer him.

"Because I don't think...I could kill another person." She said honestly.

"I'd kill him for you" scoffed Devit, leaning against the vanity. It creaked towards the wall with the addition of his weight and she smiled at him, rubbing his arm in a caring gesture.

"I know you would – but I'd have to stop you. It's the right thing to do" she answered, a sigh on her lips. He touched her lips with his finger, as if telling her to shut up in a polite way for once.

"There would be no way you could stop me" He said, and for the look in his eyes, she realized that there was nothing she could do to stop him if he decided that someone deserved to die. She liked to wish that there was a way she could stop him – maybe he'd stop because he loved her? She doubted it though. She would have to try if the events ever unfolded themselves that way.

"I agree with Devi. If he wanted someone dead, they would be. If he wanted someone dead I would want them dead too" Jasdero said, now his fingers combing through her hair, pulling it into a long braid. He hummed as he worked, as if it made him very happy to be braiding her hair. She supposed it did. He loved to play with hair. He had always liked to play with her's, even when they were children. It was funny to think about that now...since they were so much older. It was over a year since they had re-meet in Italy. A year and so much had changed. In those few years where they were separated so much had changed. Things had changed so much in a single year...

"Raina" Devit's voice snapped her name and she looked up at him. His eyes were soft though. "Are you alright?"

"Y...Yeah" she said, realizing that she had been losing herself again. "I just...starting thinking too hard I guess." She felt Jadero tie a ribbon in her hair, tying it off. She stood then and walked over her closet. Jasdero went over to her balcony to stare down at her garden and wait for them, still barefoot. She found the dress she wanted to wear the day – a simple dress of lavender. He helped her out of her nightgown, for lifting her arms straight up was something she couldn't always do. Sometimes it hurt too much and the pain made her tremble. She was practically disabled in some respects. Once out of the nightgown, he tried to help her into the other dress, but he couldn't manage the ties in the back so she had to call in an Akuma to finish the job. Devit watched though and shooed the Akuma out afterwards. They went to join Jasdero on the balcony.

She stood between them and they wrapped their hands around her's. She held their hands like she always did, looking over the garden. It was as big as her old one and nearly as she remembered it. She wondered if this was how it looked before Fae had burnt it down. She sighed and felt a tinge. She could feel Fae coming. A soft sigh came off her lips. She was happy that Fae was coming to see her. She smiled to herself, something soft.

"Raina?" She glanced at Jasdero.

She smiled, brighter. "Fae...is coming to see me"

"No...you look so happy, you like you used to. It makes me happy" Then he proceeded to hug her tightly to him. She laughed, careful of his bad arm. It was no longer in a sling, but it was still tender. It had a bruise where it had been broken.

Devit coughed. Jadero looked up from hugging her and she looked behind her. He had a rather childish pose. Jasdero blinked at it. Raina just looked, wondering what he was doing. He looked at Jasdero, there was a playfulness in his eyes.

"Hey, Jasdero – I believe Raina would be _mine._" he said, a grin now spreading across his face. Jasdero held her closer, he was being gentle, but he swung her around a little as if he were hiding her behind him. A grin was now on his face too.

"I don't think Devi was the one she was hugging" Jasdero pointed out. Raina rolled her eyes at them and tried to squirm out of Jasdero's arms. She manged to get away from him and retreated to the room. They both looked at her.

"Don't think you can escape..."

"...So very easily, Rai"

She tried to hurry over to her bed where maybe she could smack them with a pillow or something but they tackled her to the ground. They caught her so she wouldn't get hurt but they pinned her. She struggled.

"This isn't fair! You guys are stronger!" she whined, kicking her feet. She hit Jasdero in the shin, but she doubted that would even leave a bruise let along any kind of mark. Jasdero just giggled and pulled her away from Devit in a quick movement and held her in his arms. She kicked her feet to show her displeasure. She didn't want to be manhandle by these two, she didn't want them to do this, but it was funny. It was fun to be able to play around with them like the old days – even if they were much stronger than normal humans now.

"Dero give 'er back!" Devit jumped at his brother, who quickly set Raina down so they could roll around and wrestle on the floor. Raina took the chance to dive onto her bed and grab a pillow to use as a shield. Every time they came too close, she smacked them with said pillow. They all laughed, feeling good and happy.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Enter" called Raina, smacking Devit with a pillow. He fell back against Jasdero. Then their eyes turned to see who entered and Raina threw the pillow at her. It hit Fae upside her head, messing up her hair. She gave her twin a long glare before looking at the twins. Fae sighed and shook her head at the three of them.

"So very glad to see the three of you having so much fun, but I came on a business call" She informed them and now the three of them looked alerted. Now the traces of playfulness had been wiped off their face and Devit stood at his full height along with Jasdero. They were both taller than Raina and therefore taller than Fae. Fae was actually the same height as Raina. They liked to say one or the other was taller sometimes, but the truth was that they were the same height.

"What's the business sister?" asked Raina, her voice careful-soft now.

"You're to hold a party in this manor in three nights." Fae said, her voice sounding formal. Raina already knew she'd be holding a party though. "At this Party, you'll be killing Earl Blanc" She looked at Raina. "You don't have a choice in this Raina, you'll be killing him so you can take his place. Your fortune should ensure that you should be invited to be the one to take that place – that or his son will take his place, but the Millennium Earl said if it comes to that, you'll marry the boy and we'll just form another alliance" She shrugged and Raina looked at Devit. She knew Blanc's son. Adam. She thought of him and she didn't want him to die because she had to kill his father.

"Is...is that all?" asked Raina. Her voice was timid.

"No – you won't be the one killing him per-say, but he will die at your party. Everything will be set up. Don't worry, you'll just have to get him into position. We'll take care of the rest" She was in her regular form, so Raina could see her blue eyes were devoid of any real emotion as she passed on these orders. "Do you understand? I think you know what you'll lose if you refuse" Fae's eyes darted to Devit and Jasdero.

"I understand. Are there any special preparations I have to make?"

"No. We'll do everything. You're just the host to the party. Road will be there at the party to make sure all goes well, along with myself and Tyki"

"And Devit and Jasdero?"

"Will be held at the manor until Earl Blanc is dead" Fae's voice was as dead as her eyes and Raina got the feeling that Fae hated that she had to be the one to pass this message on. The Earl was cruel.

"I understand everything. Thank you sister" Fae nodded and left without another word. Raina had a bitter taste on her tongue and she had the feeling that Fae did too. Raina bit her lip ad sighed heavily. This...was not going to be good. She had no idea what to think about having to kill someone. Or let someone be killed...lure them to their deaths.

"It will be okay Rai" Jasdero said softly.

"We'll find a way to make it okay" Devit said. They hugged her close and then the three of them got up to get breakfast. Since they had been fooling around, they had completely forgotten and they only had that day to spend with her until they were ripped away from her again. She hated that, but she knew that the Earl controlled them right now – there was nothing they could do.

But for Raina, things were about to get a lot worse.

* * *

Well this took way too long to get out and I'm sorry about that but hopefully you enjoyed the chapter. I'm so excited for some of the upcoming chapters~ Give me some reviews :D Sorry it takes so long once again! College is evil!


	5. The Party

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
The Party**

The manor was huge, but it was so empty. Raina sat alone at diner. Tomorrow would be the ball. Tomorrow someone would die and she would let it happen. Her chest tightened and she pushed the food away from her, feeling her stomach tighten too. She didn't want to get sick, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. A young female Akuma walked up to her. She looked younger than Raina, maybe fifteen years old with deeply tanned skin and bright eyes. Her hair was long, straight and black. She was a beautiful girl – she looked like a princess – and Raina had to wonder what her tale was. Had she turned her lover into an Akuma? Had she turned her mother or father into an Akuma? Either way, she went by the name of Isis. She was nice and kind, humble even. She supposed they were all kind on one level or the next.

Still, Isis's hand touched Raina's arm. "Is all well?" she asked. Her voice had some sort of odd accent in it as well. She wasn't from France. She had to be from somewhere far away, but Raina never asked any of the Akuma where they came from.

"No...I miss them" She sighed, covering her face with her hands. "It would be so much easier to swallow if they were here" And she meant that. If Devit and Jasdero were here, she would just leave the party with them while that man was killed. She didn't like the thought of a life ending because she allowed it to.

"They'll be here soon after your task is complete." She said simply. Her hand rubbed Raina's back in a comforting gesture. Raina stood and walked away. Pushing herself up so abruptly made her arms ache and hurt, but she ignored it. Her chest hurt too. She ignored it all, but the pain meant that she couldn't make it up all the stairs to her room. She ended up sitting down against the edge of the steps and wrapping her arms around herself, in effort to starve off the pain, her breaths coming in pants. Sometimes when her chest hurt a lot, she couldn't breathe right. It hurt to breathe right now and she simply stayed where she was, waiting for the pain to end.

Why had her Innocence scared her so? Why would it do that?

Was it because she fell in love with a Noah? Who could help who they fell in love with? Who could do anything about that? She couldn't help that she loved Devit anymore than she could help that the Innocence had picked her! She closed her eyes tightly. Why was fate so cruel? First it told her she couldn't be in love with who she already loved, then it took her Innocence away and left her with horrible, disabling scars. She pulled the gloves she was wearing off so she could look at the scars.

"Why...?" she asked out loud, making a fist. It hurt too, even though her wrists and elbows barely bothered her anymore. Only at extreme times did they bother her. She had been slowly healing over the past year, her body slowly patching itself back together, healing the nerves that her Innocence had scorched when she destroyed it herself to save the people she loved and so she could stay with them.

She remembered that day so clearly, the meadow where she first met her best friends, the tree they loved to sit under and the blood dripping from the wound in Devit's chest. The sting of the Innocence as it broke down her body and the burning tears that ran down her face. They had not just been tears of pain, but of fear, of sadness. She had been sad that her life was about to end, sad that everything she had worked so hard for was about to be ripped away. Of course that was before she had saved her own life by destroying her own Innocence.

And now she had the things she worked so hard for, but her Innocence had been destroyed. Now she was no longer a Exorcist and she could never go back. She bet they thought she was dead. She bet she'd never see any of them again. She was forever separated from half of her friends.

Komui, the silly scientist with a serious sister problem...

Lenalee, the sweet girl she had been friends with since she came to the Order...

Lavi, the curious, mischievous Bookman who had helped her so much and almost gotten killed because of her...

Ghost, the Exorcist she had gotten to join the Order and the girl who had given her the lucky moonstone ring she wore around her neck yet...

Everyone at the Order, she missed so many of them. The pants turned to sobs. She was happy, but yet she was so unhappy. She missed the firsts she had to give up to get this life. Why did she have to give them up? Why did she have to leave them behind? It wasn't fair! She didn't want to forget about some of her friends just because she fell in love. She stayed there on the stairs for a long time, tears running down her face.

By the time she had calmed down, the pain had retreated and she could finally make the climb to her room.

Devit and Jasdero were awaiting a mission – that much was clear. They sat at the dining room table. Raina's chair had been removed, as if she were gone forever, as if she were dead. It annoyed Jasdero and pissed Devit off. He was more temperamental without her. He didn't like being so far from her, unable to protect her and make sure that she wasn't slipping away. What if she slipped away? What if she disappeared? He felt his hand go into an automatic fist. Jasdero touched that hand with his own, as if reminding Devit of where they were.

The Earl was not there yet, but Lulubell was actually there. Skin was sitting beside the twins, already eating the cake that was supposed to be for later. Lulu was sipping at milk, Tyki was eating silently while Fae sat at his side, she looked lost in thought. Road was staring at them, a grin on her face which the twins found most annoying. She had that look. Devit narrowed his eyes at her.

"What?" he spat at her. She laughed and sat back in her chair, kicking her feet against it.

"You look so lonely Devit...So horribly, lonely without Raina. You're miserable too. You curse more and your temper is horrible. You really, really love her don't you?" Devit felt the heat on his face and knew he was blushing. What a thing to bring up in front of the family!

"That...That's between me and her!" He snapped at her, looking away.

"I have noted a change in you too Devit" Lulubell was speaking to him, eyes on the milk instead of him. "When she's around, you're protective, but gentle. When she's gone, you're uptight, fussy and you act like the world's about to end..." She seemed to be musing to herself more than talking to him. Shewq looked up at him, her golden eyes looking...worried. "I think you do better at your missions when she's around as well. You complete them faster, but correctly, so you can come home to her. I don't know why Master separated her from you, other than the fact that she's your biggest weakness. In fact, if the Exorcists were to get a hold her again, there is no doubt you'd do anything they asked of you to ensure she was returned to you safely. I actually, for once, disagree with the Master's choice. She's a great weakness to you – to all of us – and should be kept locked within this Manor to ensure she is not captured or killed."

"No one would kill her!" Devit growled, standing, slamming his hands on the table. "Don't even say anything like that! No one would take or kill her! She's just-!"

"Just what?" asked Lulubell. She usually didn't talk this much and she usually never came to dinner. Why did she have to be here today? "Just your greatest weakness Devit. Look at your reaction over a few words...If someone were to kill her, what would you do?"

"I'd rip them apart" His fist clenched. He knew that Jasdero was stiff at his side.

"Or run right into an ambush. The Exorcists could use her to bait you and your brother to your deaths."

"That won't happen" Now it was Tyki that spoke. He was looking at them now, actually all the Noah were watching to see. "The Exorcists think that she's dead by now. She's been missing over a year, Lulu...I really don't think they have any hope of recovering Raina alive"

"They might think that she's just in deep hiding." Lulu replied.

"Let them think what they want of her!" snapped Devit. "I don't care! As long as she's safe. The Earl gave her Akuma and those Akuma will keep the stupid Exorcists from taking her."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Lulubell" This time it was Fae. "If you don't stop with the doubts I'll slit your throat. She's my twin and I know how she's feeling. I'll know if anything happens to her"

There was silence and Devit sat back down. Jasdero looked upset, but he didn't say anything. Devit didn't have to ask why. He was angry about all of this, but knew there was nothing they could do. If they broke one of the rules that the Earl had set in place, Raina would be killed. Only when they were told they could visit her could they actually go and see her. Only when they were told they could check on her, could they do so. It was frustrating and they hated it. Why? Why did things have to be like this?

Not for the first time, Devit wondered why Noah had picked him and Jasdero. They hadn't been exactly happy in their home village, but they had been happy enough. When ever Raina came to see them, they had always smiled from the time they woke up till the time they had gone to bed. What if they had all remained human? What if they had all been able to...to...

_To what? Be normal? We probably would have all been killed by Akuma then..._ Devit thought to himself and he sighed. Jasdero did too and Devit knew that their thoughts were probably similar once again.

Fae was looking at them, but no one said anything. They just waited for the Earl to show up so they could get their missions and be done with it all. Devit and Jasdero wouldn't hurry with their missions this time though. They could wait to get it done. They had nothing to really come home to anyway. They had hurried before to see Raina sooner, but now that she was no longer there, there was no longer something to go home to.

"At least we have each other" Jasdero muttered and Devit smiled a little. Yes, that was true. They had each other and that was something.

"There's no way he can rip our bond apart" Devit muttered back, pushing some of his hair out of his face. Jasdero smiled at his brother and then the Earl came in, his usual flashy way of tearing open the curtain and being all dramatic. It was something they all expected by now though. They knew something was wrong if he wasn't flashy. They figured everything was normal if the Earl was acting normal.

"Hello my wonderful children" He greeted, that grin on his face. He took his seat and looked at all of them. Then he adjusted his glasses and went on. "I have missions for everyone. As soon as I give them to you, I want you to be off" He looked at Road, Fae and Tyki first. "You three have that party to go to. I believe you already have your outfits picked out, so you can head to the new Fitzgerald manor now." As he said that, they stood and walked out of the room. Fae looked towards the twins before she left a sad look on her face.

The Earl spoke to each Noah in turn from then on and he seemed intent on saving the two of them for last. When Lulubell had finally exited the room, leaving only them and the Earl, they tensed. The Earl was stronger than them, the Earl was the one who led them, but…At the same time he was cruel. He could be kind, but he could be horribly cruel.

"As for you two…You are to remain here. Rest. When Raina's party is over, you are to go over to ensure her stability." He leered at them. "I have many more plans for her and can't have her coming unhinged just yet" Then with that the Earl walked away, obviously he had no more to say. Jasdero and Devit remained at the table, all alone.

"What should we do?" asked Jasdero softly.

Devit stood and motioned for his brother to follow him. They went to their room and stood in it. It wasn't quite as messy as it had been. Raina and Fae had them clean it one day, but clothes still were scattered around. They couldn't use their closet. That was where they stored Jasdevi's Grudge. At least, that was what they told Tyki sometimes. They had once threatened to stuff him in there while he was sleeping. He had a funny reaction to that one.

So they stood there a long moment before Devit started digging through their clothes. Jasdero stood, waiting for his brother to tell him what they were doing. After a moment Devit threw a pair of pants, a shirt and a coat to Jasdero, who caught them easily.

"We're leaving" He said.

Jasdero looked at the dark clothes in his hand and he smiled. He understood what his brother's plan was now. They could get in trouble if they got caught, but that hardly mattered. They were sometimes called double trouble by other members of their Family, so why not prove that was exactly what they were?

Preparations were almost finished.

Raina sat alone again, in her room. She was looking at the beautiful dress she had on. It was long and flowing. It would remind one of a flower opening. It was off-blue with white trimming. Lace covered her neck and her wrists. She did not wear gloves, so one would be able to see the scars on her hand quite easily. The ones that marred her shoulders would also be easy to spot against her soft, pale skin. She looked into the mirror, looked at her red lips, her hair twisted into an elegant style and her eyes wide and innocence and she knew she was barely looking at herself.

The person in the mirror, who ever she was, was not her. She sighed and looked away from this stranger. She didn't want to go down there. She had her instructions though. It was the night of the ball and it would be starting soon. An Akuma would come and get her when it was time. She would be taken down there, probably on Tyki's arm, and left to socialize and talk, act giddy and happy before the Earl Blanc was killed.

She almost felt like someone was choking her.

Then the door opened and her sister stepped in. She looked different and Raina realized she had a wig on. Her hair now looked bronze in this lighting; her blue eyes seemed darker than they usually were. She looked beautiful, but Raina saw that her dress was no where as elegant as her own. She stepped in, and Raina saw that she was just as beautiful though, but she hadn't really expected any different.

"It's time Raina. The guests are here and they're waiting for you" She told her. "Tyki will be taking you down. I'll be waiting with Road" The door shut and she was gone. Raina closed her eyes and braced herself to do something that she knew she would hate herself for. She couldn't do this!

But she had to…

Devit and Jasdero were everything to her anymore. They were what she had worked so hard to be able to stay with. She had almost had them taken away from her. She needed them. She had to do this to stay with them.

She stood as the door opened again and turned to look at Tyki. He looked at her with little interest in her appearance. She would expect no less of him. He held his hand out to her and she walked to him and took it. They walked down the hallway together, not a word spoken but he halted at the top of her stair case to the ballroom.

"This will be your grand entrance Raina. Please remember that" he reminded her. "And remember, you don't have to do anything but get him in front of the middle balcony in an hour. One hour Raina. Make sure you stand out of the way as well though." She nodded at his reminder. Then he led her down the stairs and to the party.

She could already see so many people from the top of the stair. She looked at all of them, all looking at her. She heard a few gasp, and there were muttered compliments on how beautiful and grown-up she looked. She supposed too many of them she would be lovely. She was surprised that no one tried to marry their son to her. Though, since she had no male family member to represent her, she could decide who she wanted to marry. That was something that at least gave her some comfort.

When she reached the bottom, she smiled and let go of Tyki. She looked charming, and happy, not shocked at all that so many would actually come to her little party. She supposed they wanted to see her scars, hear her story for themselves.

"Welcome everyone" She said, and they all hushed to listen to her. "I'm happy to see so many of you here, old friends and maybe some newer ones too. Either or, I welcome you, and tell you to enjoy yourselves here at my lovely, little party" Though her words shouldn't have induced it, a few people actually clapped for her. She watched Tyki wander off and saw Road not to far away with Fae. Raina took a deep breath, steadying herself and let herself be swallowed by the party, allowed herself to talk to people she didn't want to.

She did this all on auto-drive. She made the simple reactions, little laughs, pats on the arm, "Oh, you"s at the right moments. It was a simple thing to talk to the nobles. It wasn't hard at all and she found herself bored by the first quarter of an hour. Though she knew at that point it was time to find Earl Blanc and lure him to his death.

It really wasn't hard to find him, Adam was with him too. It made Raina feel worse. She swallowed that back though and remembered what she was doing this for. She remembered who she was doing it for. She glanced into the crowd and almost swore that she did see them. She shook it off and smiled at Blanc and his son.

"Hello again, Earl Blanc" She said, her voice charming, sweet and just slightly innocence.

"Lady Fitzgerald" Blanc kissed her hand, as was polite. Adam smiled at her, seemingly liking her choice outfit for the night. "How are you my dear?"

"Fairly well" She replied and she looked around, wrinkling her brow. "Oh, it is just so noisy in her. Would you like to chat on the Balcony? There is also a place for me to rest my already tired feet. I've been making sure everything was perfect all day…It's left me a bit worn out you see" Her lies flew off her tongue quite easily.

"Of course! Of course! Come, Adam, let us go over to that Balcony, it's the only free one." He walked towards the middle one and she somewhat felt bad, but she followed quickly after the two men. There was a table with four chairs. A wine bottle sat there, along with four glasses. Raina sat to the far right, Adam across from her and Blanc sat at the head, facing into the Ballroom. She was happy that he was there. It would make it fairly easy for who ever was going to make the hit, to get it.

She felt sick to her stomach.

"So Raina, have you thought anymore on marriage?" asked Blanc and she looked at him and then at Adam.

"A little" she said, now dropping her eyes to the table. "No one has approached me with interest yet. Well…there has been some…but I have no clue on who to pick" She sighed as if that was such a difficult thing. It might be if that was what she was really concerned about.

"Rain- I mean Lady Fitzgerald, you look rather pale. Are you feeling ill?" It was Adam who spoke now and she looked at him. She was feeling ill, but it wasn't for a reason she could say. She glanced inside and saw the table that was filled with treats for the Nobles to snack on.

"Oh…That was probably because I was so concerned over my first party that I forgot to eat…Could you be a dear and fetch me something? Please?" She asked.

"Go on Adam" Blanc said, waving his hand. "Please go and find something for her to eat. We don't want her to faint on us"

Adam got up and walked inside, flashing another smile at her and she forced herself to smile back. She had to smile back. She had to be good. She was being watched. She could see Tyki and Road not far off. Road was dancing by herself, looking adorable like a real little girl. Tyki was dancing with Fae and they both looked happy. She knew that someone was watching her though. Someone had to be. It was like a creepy feeling she had and she didn't like it at all.

Still, she knew it was close to the time where she would have to let Earl Blanc die. She turned her eyes to him. He seemed to be looking for business now. She saw in his eyes that he was serious, not simple and cheerful as he had been a few moments ago.

"I want to discuss you marrying my son" he said. "You're similar in ages and he seems to enjoy your company already" He seemed slightly uncomfortable saying this to her. He would have originally talked this over with her father and mother...mainly her father though. Then, if they found all things agreeable, she would have been engaged.

Of course this had happened to her several times as a child and her mother tried to force her and the boy together, but she always was witty enough to chase them away. She wanted love, not maybe-someday-love. Her parents had gotten lucky, she might not have. She knew now that she wouldn't have. She loved Devit and there was nothing that was going to change that.

Regardless of her thoughts, she was still playing on a thin wire here. She couldn't insult the Earl and have him stomping off on her like a Noble was bound to do. So she moved a strand of hair from her face and appeared to think about his words. She nodded to herself, as if she had thought it over well.

"I...I find him agreeable. I'm still unsure on who I'll marry, but...your son is higher on my list than most everyone." She said, nodding again. "He's a sweet young man and any woman would be lucky to marry him"

"Ah, but it is you that I want as my daughter-in-law" Blanc said, a smile on his face. She smiled at him as well and her eyes darted towards this distance. It was time. She started to scoot back her chair and then there was an explosion. It threw her off her chair and to the floor. Her head smacked against the railing, in a hard terrible way. She was groggy as she looked at where Blanc had been. He was no more than a large, grizzly blood stain.

Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened, though her vision was blurring, the blood stain going out of focus until all she could see was the blackness beyond the balcony and the bright red blood. She hear the balcony doors be thrown open, slamming against the balcony railings, the glass rattling. She thought she heard some of it shatter but she couldn't get up or even look back. "Father!" It was clearly Adam and it was clearly time for her to go. She picked herself up, stumbling and tripping over herself, head pounding, arms and chests and wrists aching. She managed to get away from the party, dart down halls, heels pounding, heart pounding, sight blurry. She didn't think she could pull herself up the stairs. She could barely walk by the time she pushed the library door open, the only place she could think to escape.

She made it over to the big, plush, chair and she fell to her knees, her head resting on the chair, her arms folded under her head. She lay there, feeling dizzy and she didn't realize why until she felt the blood dripping off her chin.

"That's just fucking...great" she muttered to herself. She moved one shaking hand to her head, to place it there and feel the warm blood matting up her hair. She worked to keep her eyes open and to keep alert. Still, what she had just allowed hit her pretty hard. She dropped her now bloody hand, looked at it, nearly angry. Tears filled her eyes and she could feel them dripping off her chin now too. There were splatters of blood all over her. She knew some of it wasn't her's.

She could still feel her head pounding, her arms were shaking, her chest constricting. She was trying to calm herself, make it easier on herself, but it was hard. She didn't want to be here all alone!

Then there were arms around her, comforting arms. She tried to shove them away, mistaking them for Tyki or Fae. She couldn't see, tears clouded her sight too badly to make out who those arms belonged to. The person wouldn't be shoved away and instead she was pulled into their lap. She could smell them then and knew it was Devit. She looked up at him and his eyes widened a little. She could barely see how his golden eyes then narrowed and went hard, a unhappy look on his face.

"Jasdero, go get some bandages" He ordered and she heard Jasdero run out of the room. Devit took off the coat he was wearing, she cold at least see him shrugging it off, and then wrapped it around her. "You've had a hard night, Rain" he said. He was moving some of her hair to look at her head. She noticed her hair was down now. It might have come down when she hit her head. She hadn't realized it was down then. It hadn't mattered.

Jasdero came back. "Rai! You're hurt! How...How did you get hurt?" his voice was so worried as he knelt down by her and Devit. Devit motioned for Jasdero to give him the bandages, Jasdero did. Devit turned her in his lap so he could wrap her head. She shrugged to answer Jasdero.

"The explosion...or whatever...when it hit me, it sent me flying back against the railing." She explained. She hoped it all came out right. She held Devit's coat around her with trembling hands.

"You shouldn't have been anywhere near the Earl when he got killed..." Jasdero said softly, biting his lip. "You should have been far away from him." She shrugged, still feeling a little dizzy. When Devit was done with her head, she leaned against his chest, just wanting to go to sleep, to recover a little.

"We tried to get close to you, but Road was watching you too closely" Devit said, with a sigh, rubbing his head. Then he shook her lightly, snapping her back to reality. "Hey – don't go to sleep. Stay awake right now. You were bleeding alot"

"But Devi...I want to sleep" She complained, rubbing her eyes. She snuggled into his chest, only to be once again shaken by him, harder this time. She looked up at him, glaring. "Stop it!"

"Stay awake a little longer" Devit said, his voice pleading. She nodded, feeling her head swim. She felt like she was sinking. Devit pulled her upright again and then he arranged her in his arms. He stood then, holding her. She felt safe there, even when the door opened to show three Noah and the Earl himself.

"Very good Raina" he said "You even have a reason to have run from the party...What with that nasty wound on your head and all" His eyes turned to Devit. "How badly is she injured?"

"Not too badly" Devit's voice was nearly empty. "She'll be better in a few days since she heals fast" He explained, shifting her lightly in her arms. It jolted her into sharp awareness again. She looked at the three Noah, Road, Tyki, Fae and then the Earl. He seemed pleased...

Her awareness started to dip again, some blackness in her head, pulling at her. Her eye lids started to close and then Jasdero tugged on her one arm. Back to sharp awareness. She pinched Devit's arm, the only way she could think to get him to look at her. He jumped lightly, shaking her once again, and looked down at her.

"Raina?"

"I'm...tired" her tongue felt thick, heavy and clumsy. She wasn't sure if he understood.

"I know" He moved some of her hair from her face. "You have to stay awake though." His voice soft and caring when he spoke to her. His eyes went back to the Earl. "I'm taking her to her room. She needs rest."

"Some Akuma will be sent up to look at her wound." The Earl replied. "Fae, would you stay here until your sister is better?" He caught Fae off guard. She was rubbing her head, clearly she had a headache. "Jasdevi, you can stay her tonight and tomorrow night, but I'll expect you back after that. Fae will be here with her until she completely recovered" The three Noah he spoke to nodded and then the Earl, Tyki and Road turned at the same time and walked away. Tyki's fingers brushed against Fae's shoulders as he walked past.

Then Devit was walking. She could feel he was bouncing her around in his arms so that she stayed awake. She didn't like it and it made her head hurt more. She could see the irritated look on Fae's face.

"Stop it! You're giving us both a headache" She snapped as they reached the back stairs. She stopped, her dress flaring around her. Her hands were in fists.

"Sorry, but Raina needs to stay awake. She can't go to sleep yet" Devit said and then he started up the stairs, jumping up the neatly and easily. Jasdero followed right after him, hurrying to get to her room. They reached it and opened the door, letting it slam against the wall. Devit laid her on the soft bed and turned to look at Fae who followed, shutting the door softly behind her.

"She needs rest"

"She needs to recover a little before she can sleep. Let the Akuma look at her first" Devit said. Raina wanted to say something witty, like ask him who made him the professional on head injuries. Then again, he had probably suffered enough of them as his time as a Noah. He healed faster than her though, but she healed fast enough.

She heard them bickering softly and was drifting off before she felt someone crawl on the bed beside her and snuggle up against her. She put her arm around them. She saw golden hair sprawled across her arm and knew it was Jasdero.

"Imagine..." he said softly to her. "They could be sibling-in-laws someday" Then he giggled. She laughed softly along with him.

"I doubt they really be. I could never see Devit getting married" She said, a grin on her face. She really couldn't see that. Actually, she barely saw herself getting married. It seemed like it would be odd and besides that, what would her last name change to?

Jasdero giggled again. "Maybe not, but they're still pretty close at this point don't you think?" He peeked over at the two again and now they were just glaring at each other. She shrugged and snuggled more against Jasdero. He was warm and she felt safe by him. Her head still throbbed, her arms still hurt, but she felt safe now. She always felt safe when she was with them.

Then she felt more weight on the bed. She glanced to see Devit lying on the other side of her, his head laid against her stomach, his arms around her. He was looking at her with his golden eyes. She remembered when those eyes actually caused a spike a fear in her. Now she was actually comforted by his golden eyes.

"Are you still tired?" he asked. "The Akuma should be here soon"

"I suppose I have to stay awake for them don't I?" she sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment and she felt the last person in the room sit down on the bed. She glanced at her sister. She was frowning lightly at Raina.

"You always have to get hurt don't you?" She said, her voice only a little annoyed. Raina felt a wave of depression though. She was a weak human, what did Fae expect? Fae frowned sharper at her. "Raina" she snapped, but she didn't go on. Fae's eyes then went to the door. "The Akuma's here. Jasdevi, why don't you go wait in the hall? I'll get her out of the dress then and into a bath"

"I can help her" Devit snapped. Raina figured why he didn't want to leave. He was stubborn. She was hurt. He wasn't going to leave her alone.

"I suppose you could. You've seen her all different ways..." Fae's voice made the red break out on Raina's face. She buried her face in Jasdero's chest. He stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. Fae sighed. "Sorry sister. Come on Jasdero. I want to talk to one of you anyway." Fae got up and Jasdero helped Raina sit up before getting up too. He walked around the Akuma and out the door with Fae then.

Raina sat stiff and still as the Akuma examined her then. The Akuma took off her bandages and looked through her blood matted hair. "Hmm..." he said. "You have blood all over you, but not that much is yours. I think you'll be fine given a day or two. Just take it easy. No running around, no doing anything that you could get seriously hurt." He scratched at his head. "Just watch yourself and see that you don't take a tumble down the stairs...I'm fairly sure you'll be okay though" With that he left.

Then Raina headed to her own bathroom and ran the tub with hot water. Devit helped her remove her dress and she stood in front the mirror, looking at her scars. They were still bright on her pale skin. Devit looked with her, tracing the ones on her shoulders and arms.

"Do you think they'll ever go away?" she whispered to him. Even with the events of the night, her arms still aching, she couldn't help but ask. She wished that one day she could live without her arms being scarred.

"I don't know, but we can hope." then he kissed her. That was enough for her. They could hope, that was the most they could even ask for. The most she knew she could ever ask for.

* * *

I actually got this chapter out quite quickly and I'm quite happy with myself. Anyway, Raina's deed is done and now what will happen to her in the next chapter? Hm..the Earl said he had more plans for her..but what ever could they be? There will be a surprise visitor in the next chapter~ I bet you all can't wait!


	6. Visitor

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Visitor**

The morning should have brought relief to her, but her arms still ached from last night, breathing was still a challenge. She was still in pain. Her head didn't throb as bad and she was able to get up and move around, walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror. She looked at herself, only draped in a nightgown. It didn't fit her figure very well and was kind of large and loose. She'd usually wear a robe over it, but she didn't. She stood there looking at herself in the mirror for a long time and a sudden hate built in her. A hate for everything that was happening. It was burning, growing inside of her and she didn't know what to do with it. She knew she hated all of this, that the hate was going to burn her apart if she didn't do something with it. She walked into her bedroom, where the twins still slept and then opened her bedroom doors. She walked down the hallway quickly, trying to burn off this energy that suddenly wanted to consume her.

Walking wasn't doing it for her, so she ran. She ran at an even pace at first, but after she cleared the stairs and the front door loomed in front of her. She pushed it open and then she ran as fast she she could, running out of her new home's gates. It was early enough that nobody but servants were even moving about. A few looked at her as she ran by them, but none even tried to stop her, none of them called out to her as her bare feet beat against the cobbled pavement. Soon she was out of the best section of town and to the less savory part, the path now dusty and sometimes a little muddy. She didn't care about any of that, only that the energy didn't seem to be draining, the hate was still strong.

She somehow managed to run even faster, cutting down backstreets, running as fast as she could manage, her breath coming in harsh pants as she tried to push her body even faster. She turned down this street and that street, trying to escape the energy that the sudden offset of hate created. She ran and she ran and then finally she ran into an area she had not been in since she was young, since before she became an Exorcist.

The graveyard where her parents were buried. She made her way to the grave-site and collapsed in front of her family's graves. Her father had a grave, her mother's grave, her brother's grave and her sister had a grave as well. She was thought dead, though she was not. She touched her mother's grave and now the anger had finally burned off, the hate had ceased and the energy had dried up. Her fingers trembled, but pain had nothing to do with it. She lean against her mother's grave and curled into herself.

The first sob rocked her a moment later. She closed her eyes tightly and stayed where she was, sobbing to herself. She wished her parents were alive, that her brother was alive, that she had never become an Exorcist and that her sister had never become a Noah. So much pain had come from this all and she hated it. She had to get away from this. She had caused the death of an innocent man...Where had her own innocence gone? How could she do such things? It was so unlike her. To be here crying, it was not like her either, but she felt so weak, everything felt so pointless. She hated all of this, but the hate was burnt up. She couldn't get to it so she had no strength to stop herself from crying.

So, as the weak, coward she was, she lay there, curled against her mother's grave and cried. She cried for things she could never change, no matter what. She cried for things that could never be, that never would be. She cried until she was crying tearlessly, the water drying up and leaving salt stains on her pale cheeks. She cred until their shadows were cast over her pale body and unknown amount of time later.

She looked up at them. They both looked sober and worried. Their mouths were set in identical frowns. Jasdero's eyebrows were furrowed over his eyes, as if he was trying to figure out something and Devit sighed. He reached down for her, lifting her into his arms.

"You didn't make it easy for us to find you ya know" he said then he jumped into a nearby tree, Jasdero following. They jumped from the tree onto a building and then they hurried back to her house. They had left her balcony open and they entered her room that way. Devit only held onto her with one arm, keeping her against his chest before swinging her onto a chair. An Akuma – the doctor in fact – was waiting for her by it. As soon as she had been sat down, he grabbed her ankle and looked at the bottom of her feet.

"She doesn't have any glass or anything in this foot." he said. He did the same with the other foot, he called that one clear as well. Then he checked her head, which was healing at its usually speedy rate. He left then, leaving her sitting at her vanity, waiting for someone to say something. It was silent in the room for a very long time. Jasdero began to gently brush out her hair, pulling leaves and twigs out of it from when she had curled up in the graveyard. The silence was starting to bother her. She could feel Devit's eyes on her, but he didn't say anything.

Then she heard him make an annoyed sound and he walked up behind her, but she avoided his eyes in the mirror that she was now facing. He stood there, looking at her once again. She knew she was being a coward, but she didn't care.

"Raina..." His voice was carefully controlled. She wasn't sure if he was mad or not. "Why did you run off. Me and Jas woke up when the front door slammed. We thought something happened to you."

She didn't answer him, so he went on.

"It was hard to follow your scent because by the time we got around to following you, there were a few more people out and your scent was marred by theirs. We almost didn't find you, do you know that?" He asked. She knew he really wasn't looking for an answer so she didn't answer him. "Raina, why are you being so reckless?"

"I'm sorry" She said at last. "I just...I hate how my life is. You guys are great, that part I have no problem with...But I...I'm _betraying_ people who cared for me. Who cared enough to leave me in peace even though they saw my choice to stay with you. They turned their backs on what I was doing, for my happiness and now...Now I'm here doing...horrible things. Terrible things!" She stood up, tearing her hair away from Jasdero and she turned to look at them. "I'm not like this!" those words were a scream, desperation clear in her voice. She crumpled then, holding onto the chair to hold herself up. "I'm not like this! This isn't like me! I'm an Exorcist damn it!"

"Raina you haven't been a fucking Exorcist in a while, grow up" Devit snapped. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with shock. Then anger clouded her judgment. She was angry, how could he say that to her? After everything she had been through – _for him_ nonetheless!

"How _dare_ you! I'll always be an Exorcist! I always was one! I was chosen by the Innocence! By God!"

"Raina, all that shit about "God" is a fucking lie! They brain wash you idiots at the Order so you believe you're doing something good. It's just to make you into fucking cannon fodder! All you were doing was-"

"What Devit? What was I doing? Destroying Akuma? _Saving_ lives! Fuck you Devit, you have no idea what you're fucking saying." Her words snapped at him. She stood up straight now. Jasdero stood in between them, looking unsure to what he should say or do.

"You were saving lives, sure, but does that make you an aid of God Raina? It doesn't make you fucking anything! And it doesn't even matter anymore, you're not an Exorcist anymore! You'll never be one again!" Those words stung, almost as if he had slapped her.

"Fuck you Devit! Get out of my house! Get out right now! I don't want to see you for a while" She pointed at the door. Devit's teeth snapped together, his golden eyes glowing with real anger and she faltered for a moment.

"Good, I was tired of fucking seeing _you_ anyway!" he cracked back at her. He stormed to the door, grabbing Jasdero as he went. He shoved his brother out the door and then went to step out himself. She kept her look stern so he wouldn't try and take advantage of her emotions. "You'll be lucky if I ever come back" With that, he slammed the door and was gone.

His words bit into her, they hurt more than if he would have hit her. She turned and sank back into her chair. It was early morning and somehow she had manged to fuck up her life more than it had been the night before. She didn't cry, she was out of tears but she sat there looking into the mirror wondering if there was something wrong with her. She wondered if she was some sort of monster or something. She always seemed to piss everyone off at the wrong times...She wanted to cry, but instead she just looked into her eyes in the mirror, just sitting there. She didn't study her other features, just her eyes. She just looked into her own eyes and tried to think this all through.

It must have been a while later. The door opened and someone walked in. Someone stood behind her. Their hand was on her shoulder and she was pretty sure that they were talking. The words didn't register.

Suddenly her mirror was broke, the shards flying past her face. One nearly cut into her face but was blown away by a wind. She turned to look into the blue eyes of her sister, who then slapped her. She nearly fell out of her seat, she was just lucky she wrapped her fingers around the back when she turned.

"What the hell is up with you? I've been trying to get you to respond for like ten minutes! And where the hell are Jasdero and Devit?" His name brought tears to her eyes. She looked at her sister again, somehow her body seemed to have more tears. "Ah! Did I hit you too hard? I'm sorry, I didn't mean too..."

"No...Devit left..." she replied

"Oh? Where did he go?"

"Home"

"He doesn't have to leave till tonight though"

"We got in a fight...He said he might not come back" Her voice broke on the end part of her sentence and she fought hard to keep the tears back. She looked up at her sister though and her sister looked angry, the anger was not directed at her though.

"Idiot! Ugh! I'll go find him. I'll drag him back her and make him apologize to you on his hands and knees!" She was angry, that much was clear by the way the wind lifted her hair up just a little. Her temper affected her power quite a bit. "Stay here Raina. I'll be back with that idiot by dinner!" Then she ran to the balcony, opening it and jumping off the edge. She was gone before Raina could protest or thank her.

So she was alone in the house with the Akuma again. She looked at herself in the broken mirror, the cracks making her look something like a monster. She looked into her eyes and then they hardened. She stood and she started trying to reach for the ribbon that tied her nightgown to her. She manged to reach it after a few minutes and ripped the damn thing off herself. She picked out new clothes for herself, out of the clothes that weren't her's. She had noticed in her closet there were clothes for Devit and Jasdero for when they were able to stay there. Black pants that were a little big on her so she had to find a belt and roll them up, and a white shirt along with a black coat. The sleeves were also big so she had to roll them up as well. She combed her hair out and put it in a long pony tail then looked at herself in the mirror. She looked nothing like the girl they had been forcing her to be over the past couple of months and now she looked like herself again. She nodded stiffly to herself and walked out into the hall. She grabbed the first Akuma she saw, whom looked shocked by her outfit change.

"I want more clothes order, right away. Clothes like this that will fit me. Do it now" then she walked away from the Akuma who had not moved. She walked into the kitchen where Akuma were working on her breakfast probably. Instead of talking to one of them, while many tried to ask her what she was doing, she walked to the stove where water was boiling for tea. She poured it into a nearby cup and got the tea herself.

She felt more like herself, more independent that she had in a long time. She spent so much time clinging to the past but not looking to the future. Whatever, she had to...She didn't know yet, but she wasn't going to stick around here and just do nothing while she waited for the Earl's next orders like some sort of dog.

One thing made her falter and stop for a moment as she walked out of the kitchen, stirring sugar into her tea. Devit...She knew more than anything, she needed him. She wanted him to come back. She was walking past the front door when she heard a soft knock on it. She turned towards it and since there were no Akuma around, she might as well answer it herself. She opened the door and dropped her tea, the glass shattering and spilling hot tea on the pants of his leg.

"Ah! I'm so sorry" Were the first words to come out of her mouth and the red-headed boy at the door smiled.

"Its no big deal Raina" Lavi grinned at her and then she realized that her house was filled with Akuma and he was an Exorcist. She slammed the door shut behind her and stepped close to Lavi, to keep from shutting her baggy outfit in the door. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"What are _you_ doing?" she hissed. "My house is filled with Akuma!"

"Why is your house filled with Akuma?" he asked. His brows furrowed and she made an annoyed sound before grabbing his wrist and tugging him around the length of the house to the garden gate. She opened the gate, as she knew it was unlocked from the inside, and walked inside. She closed and locked the gate after Lavi had walked in as well. Then she went to the one edge of the garden where there was a bench and sat down. Lavi sat down on the other side.

"What are you doing here Lavi?" She asked.

"I came to see you" He answered. Before she could ask how he knew where she lived – that she was alive – he glanced away "I saw something about a man being killed at the Fitzgerald Manor, in France. I know that you're from France and that your last name is Fitzgerald so...I came to see if it was you. Which it was"

"Lavi, you should leave" she said softly.

"Why?"

"I'm not an Exorcist anymore." That much was true, no matter what she argued against Devit earlier. She wasn't an Exorcist anymore.

"What? You didn't let them-" he started but she shook her head and he stopped.

"No Lavi, I destroyed my own Innocence. It was killing me"

"You're not one of them are you?" his tone wasn't critical, it was calm, he was doing his job as a Bookman right now. She shook her head again.

"I'm completely human" she answered. "But..." She stood and turned around, so her back was facing him. She took off the coat and the shirt underneath it. She heard him protesting her taking her shirt off, even if there were plants and a high wall keeping people from seeing, but his protests cut off as he saw her back the scars that marred the upper part of it. He saw her arms, her shoulders and how the scars wrapped around them and he was silent. She put her shirt back on and sat down, laying the coat across her lap. He was silent for a long time and so was she. They sat there for a long time and then he took a deep breath.

"Tell me what happened" So she did.

When she was done, he looked like he was thinking and she was silent, looking at the scars on her hands. He held out one hand to her and she looked at it for a long moment, unsure of what he wanted.

"May I see your hand?" he asked and she placed her hand in his. He looked at the ring Devit had gotten her and at her scars. Then he placed her hand on her leg before looking at her. "You...did something no other Exorcist could do, you destroyed your own Innocence" He said. "I've never heard of that happening, at all"

"Neither have I...But I did it" She sighed.

"What's the matter Raina?" asked Lavi and now he sounded like Lavi, not a Bookman.

"I don't feel myself...Ever since I lost my Innocence I just...I can't be myself without it. I'm defenseless. I try to be myself, but I just feel like a shell of what I had been before" she said simply. She didn't need to lie to Lavi, at least she didn't feel the need to.

"Raina, you haven't changed at all" Lavi said with a grin. "At least, you don't seem changed to me. I think, you're just afraid of getting hurt or something silly like that. So what does it matter that you don't have your Innocence? You're still Raina, the craziest girl I know"

"Crazy?" she asked, her brows furrowing. "Why am I crazy?"

"You fell in love with a Noah didn't you? _Crazy_" But his tone was teasing and friendly. She smiled. "See, ya even look like your old self"

"Thanks Lavi" She grinned at him.

"Anytime" Then he stood. "I should go...I'll come back and see you soon though Raina" She walked with him to the gate of her manor and there she hugged him tightly.

"Don't come back here Lavi..." She whispered in his ear when she did. He looked at her, clearly confused but she smiled at him and then he smiled back.

"See ya around Raina" Then he walked away. She watched him for a while before returning to the manor, careful to step over the broken cup. She was smiling to herself, humming an old lullaby as she walked to the kitchen to get more tea.

Devit slammed the door to his room open with his foot. They had just gotten home, taking the long way so he could burn off some of the anger. He didn't know why he was so angry, he just was. It was probably built up or something but he didn't care. He didn't feel bad at the moment, but he could see Jasdero did. Jasdero went right to the bed and sat down, playing with a lock of his hair.

"She started it" he told him, trying to defend himself.

"Did she?" asked Jasdero, looking up, his golden eyes sharp. Devit felt a sliver of anger run down his spine. Jasdero and him never argued. He was the leader of the two though, the stronger one.

"Shut up" he told Jasdero, pacing around the room.

"Why? Because you probably made Rai cry!" Jasdero was on his feet now too.

"She not crying...She's probably..." But as he thought about it, she just might be crying. What he said to her had been harsh. He didn't mean to hurt her though. He had been mad and now that anger disappeared. He tried to cling to it, keep it with him, but dread came instead. What had he done?

"What _have_ you done?" Fae cried, running into the room. Wind slammed into him, sending him against the wall. He pulled out his gun and aimed at her.

"Green bomb!" He and Jasdero shot at the same time. It seemed Jasdero was on his side again, their small fight already over. Her wind destroyed their attack and she used it to pin Jasdero to the wall, his gun dropping out of his hand.

"Jas!" Devit tried to go to help his brother but the wind was pinning him against the wall too. Suddenly he was on his knees, the wind straining to keep him against the wall yet. It was uncomfortable, his body didn't bend that way. It was painful to be like that as well.

"What have you done?" Fae repeated, walking over to him. She was just a little taller to him with him on his knees. She used her wind to force his face up, to make him look up at her. "You will go back to my sister's house and apologize to her" Her voice was deadly soft and angry. Her eyes were sharp and threatening, the gold seeming to flare. "She was a mess when I left her, she was very unresponsive to me before that. You will go. Now" and the wind let him go as well as Jasdero, letting them both sprawl onto the floor. They were quick to push themselves up, guns in hand, but Fae was already shutting the door behind herself.

They looked at each other and Jasdero gave Devit a very hard look. Devit sighed and looked to the side. "Fine" he grumbled. "I'll go..._apologize_" He bit his lip. "What if she's still mad at me though?"

"She's not mad" Jasdero replied. "She's probably really upset!" Devit didn't tell Jasdero, but he was afraid of that too. He had seen Raina cry way too often over the past year and none of those tears were his fault which was why he could hold her and comfort her. _These_ tears would be his fault though and that was what scared him. He never wanted to be the cause of her pain and here was, being the exact cause. He gripped his gun tighter, his grip threatening to break the tool he used. He had to go to her, make sure she was alright.

The hurried back out of the manor and to her home. It took longer than Devit would have liked, even running as fast as he could manage. Jasdero kept up easily, his blonde hair blowing out behind him. They ran as fast as they could and soon were at Raina's home. They saw her open balcony from the other side of the large wall and they jumped onto the wall and onto the balcony from there. When they walked in her room, she wasn't there.

"Raina" Devit called for her and when she didn't answer, he knew that she wasn't there. She wasn't in the room at least. He would have heard some movement. He saw her nightgown on the floor, which was strange. The Akuma usually cleaned up such things. He walked further into her large room, looking for where she might be. The door opened and she walked in...wearing clothes that were clearly theirs from the look of them. She was drinking tea and appeared to be reading a book as she walked. She set the tea down on her vanity and laid the book on the chair. She looked up at them and she froze then.

Then she seemed to relax, her eyes becoming hostile and fiery and...and...she was just like her old self in that moment. It made him feel...well, like Jasdero shouldn't be there at that exact moment. Jasdero must have felt that thought. He touched Devit's shoulder quickly.

"I'll wait downstairs for you two to make up" and instead of walking past Raina to exit, he jumped down, via the balcony again, closing the doors before he jumped.

"R...Raina, look, I'm sorry" He said, trying to sound honest, because he was sorry, he was just distracted.

She crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her weight to her left leg. "Are you?" she asked in the snappy tone she used to use all the time. Yes, this was his Raina, the one he had fallen in love with. He didn't realize how much he wanted that side of her back until now.

"Yeah...I am" He walked closer to her and she held her ground, intensifying her glare at him. "Raina, I'm really sorry. I promise I am" He was close enough to reach out and touch her arm so he pulled her one arm off her chest and took her hand. She couldn't pull it away if she wanted to. She didn't try.

"I don't believe you" She said, her voice stubborn as all hell. He pulled her closer and she stumbled up against him. "What are you doing, jackass?" She yelled looking up at him and before she could yell anything else he silenced her by kissing her. She slapped him. "Asshole!"

He let go of her and she stepped away from him, turning her back to him, clearly angry yet. He didn't mind. She was still...herself. She wasn't crying or helpless. She was being stubborn, strong, _beautiful_.

"Why are you wearing my clothes Raina?" he asked.

"Because dresses are stupid. I hate them" she huffed, half-turning to look at him. "I wish I had been born a man"

"That would be awkward for me" he said walking around the room, circling towards her bed.

"Why is that?" She asked watching him, pretty carefully too.

"Wouldn't it make me gay then?" And then finally she laughed. She walked towards him and he stayed where he was. She tackled him onto the bed. He let her, else she probably would have just hurt her head.

"Well, I'd be extremely _sexy_ for a man, so of course it would" She said, pushing herself up a little so she could look at him. He smiled and pulled her back down so he could kiss her. He was ecstatic about her being her old self, he just hoped that it would last longer than a day, than an hour, he wanted her to stay like this, forever, always. This was the Raina that he had fallen in love with.

This was the side of Raina that he wanted.

* * *

So much slapping...Anyway, this chapter can almost be called a turning point. I bet you all loved the part where Lavi pep-talked Raina. She's back to her old self! But for how long? In the next chapter the Earl will tell her what he plans to use her for next. Leave me some reviews to read!


	7. Strength

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Strength**

Devit had to leave her, but he promised to come back soon, an ecstatic look in his eyes. Jasdero was happy too. He hugged her tightly before leaving her, still dressed in man's clothing that night. Fae was back and standing next to her. The other young woman shook her head at Raina. She was shocked by her transformation back to her old self.

"What changed you?" She asked, looking at her twin. Raina seemed lost in thought and then jolted back to awareness.

"I'm not sure." she replied, biting her lip. "And I don't think I'm completely like I used to be...But I'm close. Devit seems happy"

"Oh yes he does. Me and Jasdero left - we could hear you two" She said the words as a hiss and it might have caused Raina to blush before. Now she shrugged and took a seat at her broken vanity set. "I can see you're planning something. What are you planning?"

"I'm planning on giving the Earl what he wants" She said simply, combing her fingers through her hair. Her sister came to stand behind her and took the bandages out of her hair for her. Then she lowered her head so that way their faces were next to each others and looked in the mirror with her.

"What do you think would happen if I cut your hair down to my length so we have the same length hair?" She asked suddenly. She leaned away and grabbed her brush, combing through Raina's tangled hair.

"Devit likes my long hair." She replied simply. "And I can do much more elegant styles with my hair if its long...Not that I like to do much with my hair but it will make it easier for what I'm going to do" She knew that Fae was frowning.

"I would like to do know what you are planning, sister mine" Her voice was soft now. The comb was still brushing through her hair. Raina sighed at her sister.

"Well, you will have to wait and see...But please promise me something?" She asked, her voice just as soft.

"What is it sister?"

"Please...keep Devit from killing anyone and ruining my plans" She asked of her sister and Fae froze, her expression in the shattered mirror was bewildered. Raina kept her mouth shut, she had already said far too much to her sister. She couldn't tell her anymore, not without revealing her plans. She didn't want to do that because her sister and Devit and Jasdero would all frown upon them. She knew what she had to do though and she knew what the Earl wanted her to do. Now that she was thinking, she felt like she was three steps ahead of everyone else.

"I'll try, but I cannot promise you anything" She replied, her voice soft. Raina smiled at her and in the mirror, her expression was a twisted one.

"I couldn't ask for more"

The next morning, Raina dressed herself in a simple violet dress and combed her hair straight, wincing whenever the pain of her arms tried to keep her from moving too much. By the time she was ready, her hands were shaking, the nerves bothered and irritated from her not wanting to wait for the Akuma to help her dress. She slipped on flat slippers that were white and walked downstairs to wait. She knew that it would be today that it all happened. She knew that he would be coming today to ask her an important question. That was the only reason she was in a dress today.

Devit is going to be mad... She mussed as she took a drink of the tea that the Akuma had brought for her. She also had some sweet breakfast pastries set out in front of her as well. She sat there and waited to hear from him. Within the hour an Akuma came and found her telling she had a visitor. She told the Akuma to bring them to her.

"Miss Fitzgerald" The voice was mournful. She turned her eyes to Adam Blanc. He looked upset, his eyes sad. She mimicked that sadness, she was truly sad for his loss. She understood losing a parent. She had not seen her father in years but to find out he was dead...

"Sir Blanc" She replied, she motioned for him to have a seat and he did. He was brought tea as well. They sat in silence for a long moment and though Adam looked awkward, Raina hadn't felt more at peace in a very long time. "You came to ask me something?"

"Ah...How do you...? I supposed my father talked about it before he died, didn't he? Its so strange how he died. You were injured were you not?"

"Yes, but I heal fast. I hit my head on the balcony and then fled in fear. I'm not one for bravery I'm afraid" She kept these words soft, as if they might be true. She knew they weren't, maybe they had been then, but now...No, she was no coward anymore. She looked away from him to hide the fire in her eyes.

"I'm glad to hear that you're healing well" He didn't sound glad at all "But you are right, I did come here to ask you something - something my father was going to have me ask you anyway" She waited for him to go on and when she didn't, she looked at him.

"You don't want to ask me" She said simply.

"You're right. You're not the woman I met at the dance. Your eyes...there is something different about them and its making me hesit-"

"Oh, so you noticed the difference? I thought you wouldn't. Oh well. Ask your question. I promise you, the answer will be yes"

"You would willingly just say yes, with no thought at all?" His voice was shocked and slightly insulted.

"I've already thought enough"

They sat in silence, staring at each other for a very long moment. Raina studied his eyes, trying to see into his thoughts. He stared into her eyes, staring at the fire burning within. She knew he could see that fire, knew it for what it was and that he was wary of a woman with such fire. Most men were. Her fire seemed to feed Devit's though, make him burn brighter. She smiled at the thought and a frown turned his lips. He glanced downward, folding his hands together.

"Of course...you really have changed. I'm almost afraid to ask you" She chuckled lightly and tapped her nails against the table, almost seeming annoyed.

"Ask me Adam. I grow tired of the stalling. Ask me now, or leave my presence" He seemed shocked that she was speaking so harshly and he pressed his lips together now, eyes boring into her own. A smile curved her lips. She found it all amusing. He was amusing her. She knew that just a little while ago, she would have hated this. Now it was all just a game to her.

Have I gone insane? Or is this just stupidity? I'm playing with fire and I know it she thought to herself. No, no it goes much deeper than that. Or maybe its much more simple? Either way, I know...I know what I want.

He stood as did she, though half a second later. He walked to stand in front of her and he took her hands in his. He didn't do anything but keep both her hands in both of his and stare into her violet eyes. She was still smiling her amused smile. His eyes looked annoyed, angry, as if she had backed him into a corner and there was no escape for him. Maybe there wasn't, maybe she had. There was no time to pin the blame one anyone right now though and she wasn't going to take it all for herself.

"Raina Fitzgerald" his voice was stiff and she almost laughed at him. "Will you...honor me by being my wife?" There was no honor in it. None at all and they both knew it.

"Of course I will Adam. I'd be honored to." He let go of her hands and took a step back. Now he looked angry. She had backed him into the corner and now he was starting to get wary on why she had. Did he suspect her the cause of his father's murder? She looked into his eyes again. No...Yes? Maybe? Hm...he was confused. She could see it in his eyes, though his brows were furrowed and he clearly was not pleased with her or the outcome of today.

"Arrangements will begin for the wedding after my father's funeral. Good day Miss Fitzgerald" And then he left with no further words. She almost laughed at him when he left but she managed to keep her mouth shut. She had to wait to tell her next guest of what happened.

She spent the rest of the day arranging things. She spent the rest of the day getting ready. She changed into the clothes she had ordered, the clothes that fit her and that night he came just as she expected him to. He came just as she was combing her hair again. He appeared behind her. She turned to look at him, the eternal grin on his face.

"Welcome Lord Millennium." She said to him, her voice nearly cheerful. She had never spoken to him that way but he didn't seem put-off by her tone. He seemed curious, she could see a glint in his eyes.

"I see you have been acting on your own" He said, though his voice was neither annoyed, angry nor approving. She didn't care. She would keep doing as she wished. "You're engaged to Blanc's son"

"Was that not what you had planned?"

"It was, but not so soon"

"Fear not Sir, the Wedding is not for a long while. It will bend to your plans"

He was silent for a long time, probably thinking over her words, judging them. He didn't say anything for a long time but she wasn't worried. She just sat there, staring at him. It was almost a challenge. She knew if that Devit and Jasdero found out what she was doing - what she had planned - they would have a stroke. Fae and Tyki wouldn't be happy either. That was alright, she could deal with them all being angry at her. She brushed her long hair from her face and waited a little longer the Earl glanced away.

"I will allow this - but no more getting ahead of my game Raina. The consequences will be dire." He warned and she waved her hand at him, dismissively. He didn't seem to like that she did, but she didn't care. She had more planning to do. She was so close...so close.

"Yes, yes. I am aware of the consequences. Now if you don't mind Earl, I have something big to plan" He waited, his gaze intending that she would tell him. She sighed, rising from her spot, brushing her long hair from her face once again. "My wedding." She rolled her eyes then. "It will be a big event, a very big event. Oh? And can Devit and Jasdero come stay for a day or two? I'm quite lonely, I'm afraid Akuma aren't for good company"

The Earl was silent. She thought he might say no, but she knew that he wouldn't. Not with her the way she was. Devit might calm her down, Devit might keep her under control. Oh, if only he knew.

"They can come over tomorrow." He said. "Two days. Then I have a mission they must go on" He seemed to realize it was best just to play by what she wanted right now as well. She wondered what he thought of her behavior. He must have known that she was now going to stir up some trouble. If he didn't he was in for a nasty surprise. Though, she was going to be good for now.

"That's fine. Thank you" She even tacked on the 'thank you' to show that she still intended to be a good 'dog'. She was still going to take the food nicely from the master's hand. She was. She was going to listen to his plans, but she wanted to secure a part of her own plan first. She had to. She had to act fast.

"Raina...? After Devit and Jasdero leave, you are to spend more time with Adam Blanc. Seduce him, charm him, do whatever you have to so that he trusts you. We have plans for him"

"You mean you have plans for him" She said simply.

He chuckled but didn't answer her, deciding to disappear in the way that he always did. She watched the spot where he had just been with resentful eyes. She knew she hated the Earl for cornering her. She had no where to go but she was starting to cut a way out of her corner. She would cut and scrape, she would force and push, she would struggle and scream until she found a way out of the corner. This corner was not her home anymore.

She was stronger than that now and she knew the Earl had every right to be wary of her. She knew all of the Noah, including her two Noah, should be wary of her. She had her own plans now and she was going to enact them...They liked it or not. She was going to be the strong one here. She was really tired of being the weak one.

The rest of that day went along easily enough. Soon it was time for her to retire to her room for the night. She found some relief in it and when she laid down, she felt like snow was falling delicately onto her face.

_It was snowing and i__t was beautiful. The snow felt gently into her hair, onto her face._

_She smiled at Jasdero and Devit as they stood in the field watching the snow. The field was bare of anything but long dormant grass, awaiting Spring's touch. Her hands were not cold because they held her hands in theirs, tightly. She was happy to be with them, happy to be there._

_There was a sound, an angry sound and then they let go and stepped away. Their guns were out and she could see black figures around them, she screamed for them. There was a gun shot, one was hit, one was hit and he fell to the ground, golden eyes shocked. She was holding one of them, she couldn't tell which one it was, her tears blurred her eyes keeping her from seeing more than their golden eyes. They touched her face._

"_No" she screamed. "NO"_

_The white snow was turning red, red with his blood, dripping so hot onto her hands. They were smiling._

"_It...it was...meant for y...you..." they whispered, their breath gasping. She screamed again. Their eyes closed._

_The snow continued to fall._

She opened her eyes at the sound of something breaking, her nightmare pushed aside for the moment. She could feel his anger before she saw him. She could feel it, easily. It was easy to feel his anger. She knew that he was beyond pissed at her. He stormed into her room, slamming the door so hard against the wall, it nearly broke. She had been sleeping before hand, spread out on her soft bed. She sat up and looked up at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He yelled at her. He was pissed and she gave him a stubborn look.

"What the Earl wants"

"He didn't fucking order you to! I know he didn't fucking order you to! What the fuck? What the hell? What are you doing? Why are you...Fuck!" He growled the last part do himself, smashing her mirror further with his fist. Somehow he didn't get cut by the glass or if he did, it healed fast. Jasdero, stood by his side, looking shocked at his brother's outrage.

"Devi you know Rai-"

"Rain what? She what?" He snarled. Raina got out of bed and walked over to him.

"Devit that is no way to talk to your brother!" She snapped at him. She had been expecting this much but wished that he would calm himself down. There was no need for him to be like this. No need for him to snap at Jasdero until...until he looked at her. He said something but she didn't catch it. "I...I hurt your feelings?" She had to say it as a question and though she said it soft and he was saying something, growling something at her, he stopped.

"No! I'm just _pissed_-" He was cut off by her hugging him.

"Silly Devit! You know I love you!" she kept her voice soft. He didn't hug her back. She pushed away, cupping his face with one of her hands. "Devit. I love you I really, really do. I'm doing this for us. I have a plan" She lowered her voice further to keep anyone from overhearing.

His eyes narrowed and he groaned.

"You're gonna do something stupid and human aren't you?" Jasdero was watching her now too. She laughed lightly shaking her head at him.

"Of course I am. When don't I?" He looked at her, there was some trust there, along with fear for her safety. "I'll be fine Devit. You...you have to trust me." She leaned up, pressing her lips against his gently. He didn't return the kiss and when she realized this, she pulled away again, stepping back. "Are you really mad at me? For this I mean?"

"No...I'm more mad that he's...he's gonna be all over you. You're _mine_." The way he said that was possessive. Like she was an item but for some reason she didn't mind it. She very nearly liked it. She...she was okay with it, when a year ago she probably would have punched him for it.

_I guess I'm not completely myself...But I'm close enough. I'm thinking right again. There is a way out...I'm going to get us out of this mess_

"Devi's jealous" Jasdero summed up, a smile on his face. A glimmer in his eyes. He grabbed Raina then wrapping one hand around her waist. "Its okay Rai. I don't mind sharing" His tone was teasing and pleasant and made everything seem better than it was going to be. Devit glanced towards his brother.

"Then you're much kinder than I Dero. I do!" He instantly went to tackle his brother and therefore Raina as well. They all landed in a pile on the carpeted floor with a loud thump. Raina was laughing, though her arms and back and chest ached. She didn't care at that moment. Only they mattered in her life in the end. She was doing this for them. They were laughing too, smiles on their faces. She took their hands, threading her fingers through theirs.

"Do you two know I love you more than anything right?" Their hands squeezed her.

"Of course we know that" Jasdero's reply was soft and sweet

"How could we not?" Devit's reply was cocky.

She sighed and then the door opened. She let go of them and rolled so she was on her stomach, very nearly laying on top of Devit. His one arm wrapped around her, holding her and keeping her stable and from falling off him. She looked at the person who entered. It just happened to be her twin. She smiled at the other woman and she just looked at Devit and her. She sighed.

"Do you two always have to be tangled up?" The comment made blush taint Raina's cheeks but she didn't move. She was content where she was at the moment and had no will to move from Devit's arms. She sighed again shaking her head. "I came here to make sure Devit didn't kill you after you stupid stunt."

"Devit wouldn't kill me"

"Well, he might, given he was mad enough" She and Raina smiled then, not even noticing Devit's frown – but Jasdero did.

Devit frowned, still holding onto Raina. Their oh-so-casual joke of him killing her made him remember that dream he had over a year ago. Raina's eyes wide, Jasdero's hands going to kill her, the knife, the blood. The snow. Fear was raw, grief, sorrow, the tears dripping hot down his face as he watched her die.

"Devit. Hello?" There was a hand waved in front of his face. He blinked, his golden eyes looking at Raina. She was still half-laying on him, her eyes were worried. "Devit?" She was questioning him. He sat up, pulling her up with him. He pulled her into his arms and stood. Jasdero stood as well.

"What are you doing?" asked Fae. Her eye brow was raised at his odd actions. The look in her eyes though, he understood. They had to talk, without Raina.

"Nothing" He replied and he handed Raina off to Jasdero. Jasdero held her close, keeping her well balanced in his arms. "Jas, can you help her get ready?" Jasdero just nodded, his arms now restricting, though he probably only noted that. It was something to keep Raina busy and Jasdero knew that. He avoided her eyes, wondering if she knew too. He didn't want to know id she did or didn't. Instead he and Fae left the room and walked down the long hall. Her dress was long, brushing against her legs as she walked. Fae was every bit of beautiful as Raina, but she would never be Raina. She wasn't...they were almost opposites. Devit looked away from her.

They didn't speak as they walked. They just walked and she led him down the hall. She stopped in front of a room, opening the door. He followed her inside. It looked like a sitting room. Chairs were positioned in front of a fireplace. No fire was lit at the moment and the room seemed cold for it. The floor was a violet blood red, the walls a soft white. The chairs were both dark and light combined as they sat in front of the spot where there should be a fire. A bookshelf lined the one wall, and a painting, a desk under it, the opposite wall. He didn't focus on any think in the room though, just took it all in. He looked at Fae.

"When our house burnt down, they tried to recreate it with this one. Of course its bigger and nicer but its still the same basic layout" She said, walking over towards a desk that stood under the picture.

She traced her finger on the edge of the painting. He looked at it, realizing it was a painting her family. There was a man with light brown hair, wearing glasses smiling with his arms around a woman sitting on a chair. In her lap she somehow balanced two six or seven year old girls with long silver-blonde hair. Beside her, sat a young boy, older than the girls, but no where near being a young man. The two girls on the woman's lap were smiling. The woman and her son did not. He didn't say anything, focusing on her as she spoke again.

"Its beautiful, but that's not the point." She didn't turn to face him. "I had a dream that scared me the other night. Tyki couldn't even comfort me. It...it was horrible" She hugged herself, squeezing her own arms, a frown on her face. "I was so scared when I woke up and I remembered it all. It felt almost too real. I feel like I've had this dream before, but it feels...more solid now" Her pale hands reached for the desk, to steady herself or so Devit thought. Instead she opened the drawer of the desk and took out something that made his heart stop.

The blade was straight and silver, perfect, the handle was cloaked in a soft red tone that reminded him of blood, white criss-crossing over the red until at the end of the handle there was a small red jewel, a ruby perhaps. He just looked at it, dumbstruck for the moment. He remembered it perfectly, he knew that weapon. She held it in her hand, examining it.

"I saw this knife, embedded in my sister's heart" Her voice was low now, her eyes focused on him He pulled his golden eyes away from the dagger and looked at her, into her currently blue eyes. "And the person who did it was _you_."

Raina sighed, impatient for Devit and Fae to come back. Jasdero was combing her hair gently, a smile on his lips. When he finished he started to braid the long locks, silently. They hadn't talked the entire time that they had been waiting. Jasdero had merely sat her down on her chair and commenced to combing her hair as she sat there in her nightgown yet. She looked at the blonde Noah.

"What do you think they're talking about?" She asked.

"Something" He answered, his voice vague.

"You know something" her voice wasn't accusing, but it was there. Jasdero sighed. "You won't tell me though." She stood, pulling her hair away from him and stalked over to her bed. She didn't lay down but she stood there, looking angry. She sighed then, rubbing her forehead. "Why does this all have to be so hard?" She muttered to herself.

"What's hard Rai?" Jasdero asked. He walked over to her, taking both her hands in his.

"Everything. Even though I'm more myself than I have been in a long while, I feel as though...I feel like something is still missing!" She sighed and leaned into Jasdero's arms, letting go of his hands. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her.

"It was never going to be easy for you" He muttered softly to her. "You fell in love with a Noah." She closed her eyes, hugging him tighter, wanting to shut out the world.

"I can't help who I love" She muttered.

"Do you wish you could?"

"No, never. I'd never take any of this back"

"Even the part where you lost your Innocence?"

"Even that part" She replied. She slowly let go of him and sat on the bed. He sat next to her, taking her hand again. "Al of it, I'd never take any of it back. I'd try to do some parts better, but if I had to do it all over again and keep it all exactly the way it happened, so be it. I'd keep it that way"

"I'm glad to hear that" His voice was soft.

"Would you change anything?" She asked

"Only if it didn't endanger any of us and kept us all safer. We all made a lot of stupid mistakes." He laughed lightly and she ended up laughing too.

"What can you expect? We were _children_!" They both laughed again. "I do miss those days. Though we had to be on the run, I...I was always happy"

"Aren't you happy now?" Jasdero's voice was worried now, worried for her.

"Right now I am, but...when you guys leave again..."

"We'll always come back" He promised her, squeezing her hand. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Just at that moment, the door opened and Devit walked in, looking pale. She stood, letting go of Jasdero's hand. She looked at him, his smile now weak. He knew that Devit was upset, of course he knew. She hurried to Devit's side.

"Devit?"

"Don't worry about it Rain" He said, he looked at her and he smiled. She would have said something else to him but he took her face in his hands and he kissed her. She place her hands against his chest and pushed. He pulled back, looking at her, confused.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Its nothing" He breathed. She sighed, her hands still on his chest. She could feel his heart thumping harder than it should. She looked into his eyes and saw that he was trying to hide his emotions from her.

"I'll believe you because I trust you" She glanced behind him at Fae. She was holding a knife in her hand, a pretty little thing, mainly coated in red. She was looking at it as if...as if it was something bigger, a sword maybe. Devit's fingers turned her head and she could look at the knife no more. Something about it unnerved her and she was glad. She held herself closer to Devit for the moment, suppressing her shudder. Somehow, that knife made her think of her nightmare and the warm blood on her hands.

The fear came back, the dread and the loss. She closed her eyes tightly and buried her head in his chest for the moment, hoping to escape the world, if only for a moment. She was stronger yes, but she wasn't strong enough to stand on her own like this yet.

* * *

Well this took longer than expected and I'm sorry. The file got corrupted and I lost everything that I did. If there are errors in it that I happened to have missed it came from me retrieving the story again. All and all, it was just really hard to get this out for you guys. I'm sorry it did take so long though. I hope you did enjoy it and that I can get the next one out sooner.

Don't forget to leave some reviews for me!


	8. A Change of Plans

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
A Change of Plans**

She knew that Devit wasn't going to like what she had to say. She had to tell him though and she had to hope that he would understand why she was telling him. Not because she wanted him to be upset but because she needed him to understand why she'd refuse his visits in the future. She didn't want to mess up her careful plan. She couldn't let him mess up her plan by killing her...her scape goat. Was that what he was? Barely, but she supposed she could think of him that way. It didn't matter. All that mattered to her was her plan.

She was up and about, but the twins were still asleep on her bed. Both were shirtless and spread out across her bed, snoring lightly. She shook her head at them and put her comb down. She had just finished combing her long hair straight again. She looked at herself in the mirror. With long hair, perfect pale skin and her wide violet eyes, she looked like a nobleman's daughter for sure. She frowned at her own reflection, though it was still shattered from Fae breaking the mirror. She stood, found a cloth and threw it over the mirror, so she wouldn't have to see her reflection anymore. She was tired of looking at herself. She was pretty, but she almost didn't want to be. She looked too..weak. She hated it. She left the room, angry about her own weakness.

She walked down the hall, still in her nightgown. She hadn't changed out of it, didn't need to. It covered her well enough, though it was overly frilly and it was annoying to walk in it. She moved down the hall, her bare feet making no sound on the floor. She needed time to think of what she wanted to say to Devit so that he wouldn't get too upset with her. He was already upset with her getting engaged to this man, if he knew what the Earl had ordered...

Well, he didn't know so that was no problem. She could only pray that he never found out. At least for Adam Blanc's sake. If Devit ever _did_ find out, she already knew that Adam could count himself a very dead man. She didn't care though. If he died at this point...She didn't care.

_I wonder if I have become cruel? _ She mussed to herself as she walked. She slipped outside and into the garden and found a bench hidden away by the bushes and the sweet scent of the flowers and she laid down on it, closing her eyes and folding her hands on her stomach. If one looked at her from a distance, they might mistake her for one of the dead. Of course, no one would be looking at her in her private garden. The one built on the ashes of her old home. She didn't despise this home though – it was her's.

She felt at peace at that moment and her plan became even clearer to her. She could see what had to happen and things that could happen, but didn't have to. She was excited – happy – that soon she would be free of this place. The consequences were vague in her mind and she could not see them. There was only one thing that mattered; them escaping with her. She was sure that was to happen now. She had to make it happen.

"Mmm?" Devit opened his golden eyes and glanced around the room. It was clearly late morning. He'd guess around eleven. He looked around again, looking for Raina but didn't see her anywhere. He sat up slowly, yawning and stretching, his bones popping as he did. She wasn't in the room, that much was clear. He got up, walked to the closet, got some clothes and got dressed. He went to the mirror and fixed his messy hair, straightening the black mass with his fingers. He'd need to cut it again soon, but he liked it a little long now and Jasdero seemed to enjoy tackling him down to do his hair.

With that thought, he glanced at Jasdero and went to the bed and shook his younger twin until his golden eyes opened and looked at him. His eyes were annoyed and Devit couldn't help but smile in slight amusement.

"Mornin' Jas" He said and Jasdero curled back up, pulling the covers over his head. "...Jas, its time to get up." Devit shook his younger brother again. Jasdero pushed him away so he supposed that meant that he wanted to be left alone. "I'm gonna go find Rain alright?" He chuckled lightly at his brother who didn't respond to his statement at all, then he opened the door and slipped out, leaving it open, just in case Jasdero decided he would come after them. He probably would when he woke up a bit more.

Devit followed Raina's scent down the hall and stairs and out her back door. He saw her laying there and he stood there watching her for a long moment. She almost looked dead, but he could see her breathing from where he stood. Her skin really was pale, but her hair seemed more the right color now. He went to her and her eyes opened. She sat up, her movements quick and cautious. She swayed slightly, probably dizzy but her eyes focused on him.

She stood and had to look up at him. He remembered when they were pretty much the same height and he had been able to look straight into her eyes. He grinned a little bit, happier to be taller. She hugged him, her face buried in his chest.

"Morning Devi" She sighed. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closer to himself. He lived for her.

"Morning Rain" He replied and she leaned back to look at him. Then she looked around him and her smile was warm. He half turned to see Jasdero heading after him, his shirt on, another white shirt in his hand. He threw the shirt at Devit when he was close enough.

"Put your shirt on" He grumbled and while Devit was doing that, he hugged Raina, muttering good mornings in her ear. Then he sat down on the bench she had been laying on, stretching. "I'm still tired" He muttered to himself, rubbing his one eye. Raina smiled at him.

"Well then get more sleep silly" She sat by him and he yawned, stretching again.

"I just got up though" He grumbled. "And then I'd have to walk all the way back inside..." She laughed at his words and Devit watched her face. The joy on her face was quite real. It made him...hopeful that things were going to be right from now on.

"Well good. I want to talk to Devit, but I'd...I'd like you here Jasdero" Her voice was nervous. Devit focused his eyes on her now. Whatever she had to say, he wouldn't like it. He stay standing, just in case he would get angry. He didn't take his anger out her – she was too breakable. He'd lash out somewhere else. He almost wanted her to not tell him, but he knew running away from his problems wouldn't help him. He looked away from her.

"What do you have to tell me?" he asked, keeping his voice purposely soft. He didn't want to alarm her with cruelty. He needed to hear what she had to say, even if he had the horrible feeling that he wasn't going to like it at all.

She took a deep breath, stalling, trying to hold off on telling him. He didn't look at her but listened to her breathing instead. He tried to keep his own breathing calm. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his throat from drying with his nervousness. He wished she would just speak already and then she did.

"I'm...not being cruel...but safe. Soon, you guys can't come see me anymore. Like...at all" she said. Her voice was hesitant. He heard Jasdero's breathing cut off. She kept speaking, though he and Jasdero were both completely silent. "I mean...after I get married to Adam...You guys can't show up. He'll become suspicious. I'll need you to stay away."

"Why?" asked Jasdero in a low voice.

"Because I don't want to mess up the Earl's plans. He may kill you two if I make a mistake"

"He won't kill us Rai" Jasdero's voice was a whisper and then he made a sound of shock. Devit's eyes went to Raina to see tears running down her face.

"You guys...have no idea how hard...this is for me. I hate...I _hate_ asking you to stay away. I just know that...I have to do this. I'm sorry. I won't ever risk you guys. _Never ever_." Devit sat next to her, on the other side of her, and grabbed her into his arms, pulling her against him, onto his lap and tucking her head under his chin.

"You never have to worry about losing us" he said softly, his voice stiff, but he tried to be comforting, confident, but the fact that she wanted them to stay away...It kind of hurt. "We're strong" His words felt too stiff, no real comfort in them. She probably heard that in his words as well because she pushed at him until he let her go. She fell to the ground, unable to break her own fall. She scrambled to get up, getting dirt all over her white nightgown.

"I'm doing this because I do worry that I'm going to lose you. You...you guys are some of the only things I got left. Fae...Fae and you guys. That's it!" Her words, sparked something in him, he frowned looking at her.

"All? Is that all? What about your grandparents at those ruins?" he asked. He supposed his voice was a bit cruel.

"Do you think I can go see them? Like this? Scared and marred as I am?" her voice snapped back, the tears still running down her cheek. "Do...Do you think they can still see me as I was with how I am now?" She asked and she turned on her heel, stalking a little away from them. "You don't know me as well as you think you do anymore" That last part was a whisper, maybe not meant for him to hear, but he heard it all the same. Then she walked away from him, disappearing behind the plants.

Devit stood there for a long moment and sighed. Maybe...maybe it was best if he left. Not just for now, but maybe for good. He and Raina had been fighting a lot. Maybe it was because she seemed to be back to her old self or maybe it was because he didn't understand her enough anymore to care for her right. He loved her, he really did. He had accepted that fact a long time ago, but...

"Aw, fuck it" He grumbled and Jasdero's eyes ripped away from where Raina had gone to focus on him. "I don't care..." He muttered to his brother. "We're coming to see her no matter what she says. She's _mine. _She's _ours_. We're not going to abandon her"

Jasdero smiled. "How did I guess that Devi would choose to do that?"

"Because we both love her and there was no way we're going to abandon her"

Raina wiped at her tears when she was inside. She hated being so weak, crying so much. That seemed to be all she did lately. She seemed to mostly just cry about things she had no power over. What the hell did that fix anyway? Nothing. She ended up hitting a wall on her way back to her bedroom and then crying out when she realized that the wall wasn't going to budge, so her fist would have to. It wasn't broken, it just hurt. She cursed lightly.

What was she doing with her life anymore?

Plotting and trying to struggle her way though this. Was it working? Not as well as she wished it was. She wanted...she wanted out already. She wanted to feel safe where she was, she wanted to be happy, she wanted to be _home_. She went back to her room and to her closet. The clothes she wanted had arrived. She reached back, though her arms and shoulders and chest and back all ached at the same time, protesting such movements, to untie her nightgown. She managed it it, her arms trembling lightly, the nerves not liking the movement.

She ignored her nerves and her sensitivity and weakness and picked out her clothes, slipping them on. She then pulled her hair back in a long ponytail. With that all done she looked at her scared hands. She smiled a little though, even as they sent a wave of terror and helplessness through her, they also sent a wave of hope. Someday she may overcome this. Someday, hopefully someday. Maybe one day, she would be able to look at her arms and not see weakness and scars, but strength and beauty.

She sighed and walked out into her room again. She heard her balcony door open and she turned to see Devit coming in the room. Her tears were already gone so she stood her ground, unsure if they were fighting or not. She looked at him, biting her lip. He stood a few feet away from her and he didn't look hostile, just stubborn. That wasn't a new look for him though.

"Raina...Maybe I don't know you anymore, but you've kinda given me whiplash. One moment you're fine, the next moment you're not and then suddenly you're fine again. The scars on your body made you feel...useless...You felt like you were nothing. I had to support you, me and Jasdero both did. Now you're suddenly more yourself than you have been in a while. There's that spark in your eyes, one that I hadn't seen in a long time...I missed that spark Raina, I missed you..." He stopped, looking away. "But I – and Jasdero too – have changed. We're more protective of you now because we had to be. You _needed_ us. Now you act like you don't. Maybe we need you... So no matter what you say, we're coming to see you. You are _mine_. I'm not just going to leave you to some stupid ass human that won't take care of your right"

She looked at him and then looked away from him, but she felt his eyes on her again, judging her reaction. She looked into his golden eyes. A small smile touched her lips and he smirked, clearly happy his words had the intended effect on her.

"Alright. But we'll have to make careful plans. Late at night, in a gust bedroom or in the garden...if Jasdero's with you"

"Why can't we always meet in the garden?" Devit raised his eyebrow. She walked towards him, starting to take the jacket she was wearing off.

"Well, we might get caught if we decide to do...other things that night" She smiled coyly and his fingers trace the skin of her neck, running down her now bare shoulders and arms. "Other things we could be doing right now..." She wrapped her arms around him and brought him more down to her level. Her lips pressed against his and he was thinking over the situation but didn't get far before somehow she managed to force him down. He was completely unsure how it happen. One moment he was standing there with her and the next she was straddling him while he lay stunned on her carpet.

"Well I suppose a little fun wouldn't hurt" He was weak when it came to her and to see her, that glint in her eyes, that smile on her lips, it was hard to resist. Beside she was making her intentions _very_ clear to him. He kissed her again, his fingers digging into her hips. He already found his shirt was off. "Rushing?" He teased her, nipping at the sensitive skin of her neck.

"No." She answered in a half-gasp. "I just don't like to see clothes on you right now" He gave a dark chuckle at that and worked on getting the clothes off her. He rolled, putting her under him and almost had her pants off when the door opened. He glanced behind him, she half sat up to see. Her face turned red and he was pretty sure his did too. After all, they were both shirtless, Raina was practically only in her panties and his pants were unbuckled and open.

At the door stood both Fae and Jasdero. Fae let out a cry and Jasdero quickly covered his eyes and bolted from the room, clearly having seen more of Raina than he had ever planned to see. Fae's face was red, but she also looked upset.

"What are you _doing_ to my sister. Out! Out, out, out!" He quickly stood, allowing Raina to get up and at least grab a shirt to cover herself with before Fae shooed him out the door. Outside Jasdero was waiting eyes still covered. Devit was a little glad since was a little...ready to have some fun. He cleared his throat and went into a sitting room where he sat down and tried to adjust himself. Jasdero followed, his hands still over his eyes.

"Erm...Sorry about that Jas. Didn't hear you or Fae coming..." Devit said, wishing that he at least had his coat. He had left it in Raina's room. In fact he hadn't even bothered to put it on that morning. Jasdero slowly looked at him, his entire face red, even his ears. Devit couldn't help but smile a little, but he forced his face into a more serious look.

"That...was way more...of Raina than I _ever_ wanted to _ever_ see." Then he buried his face in his hand and Devit couldn't help but laugh. "Its not funny!" Jasdero claimed, through his hands.

"S...Sorry...It kinda of is. But sorry" He was still smiling a little. "So why is Fae here anyway?"

Fae helped her sister re-dress. Her fingers were faster than Raina's trembling ones. Her face was displeased the entire time while Rain's face was just red. She knew the other Noah knew that she and Devit were sexually active, but for them to _catch_ her and Devit nearly in the act. It was horribly embarrassing. They were both silent, Fae seemed very annoyed though. Raina was scared to speak to her. After Raina had all her clothes back on, she was forced to sit down in her chair and look up at her sister.

"Ugh...just _ugh_!" Fae claimed, making a sour face. "I come her to give you a message and instead I find you and Devit – _UGH_" Raina gave an apologetic smile to her sister. Fae shook her head at Raina. "Crazy. Jeeze you're crazy"

"Sorry sis. I didn't expect anyone to come bursting through my bedroom door"

"Well it _could_ have been a lot worse but I rather not think of that." She sighed, her face calming. "So...I came to tell you that the Earl has an extra order for you...or more of a quick alert. He's already contacted your fiancee about it, but he's announcing your wedding. It'll be in three weeks."

"Three...weeks?" her tone was shocked. She didn't know what to say. In three weeks she'd be married.

"That's the official ceremony. He wants you to make sure that Adam completely trusts you and all before then. He's giving you a lot of time to get that boy wound around your finger" She was frowning though. "Devit and Jasdero don't know and no one plans to tell them but..."

"But?"

"But the Earl wants all the Noah at the wedding..."

That thought hit Raina kinda hard. Of course she wanted Fae there but everyone else? "Wh...what about Devit and Jasdero? Will they have to come?" Fae nodded her head and Raina was glad she was sitting already else she may have fallen. Wasn't that a bad idea? Devit was a jealous person after all.

"The Earl says it will teach him his place..." Fae's voice was soft. "He thinks it'll be a good idea" It was clear from her tone of voice that she agreed with Raina on this. It was a bad idea. A bad, bad, _bad_ idea. Adam might be lucky to make it out there alive. That was how bad of an idea it was. "I don't know what the Earl is thinking and I'm worried because I don't know what you're thinking either Raina." She did look worried but Raina looked away.

"Nothing big, nothing dangerous. I promise" She bit her lip, thoughts going back to the wedding. "Oh this is going to be horrible...The Earl has lost it. He must have lost it..."

"I sometimes think you both have. You seem to be challenging him now Raina and I believe this is his way of saying 'Challenge Accepted'" Fae sighed and fiddled with her hair. "I have to go now though. The Earl needs me to do other things. Me, Road and Lulu are preparing for the wedding. We're going to pick out a dress for you. In a few days we'll come buy and make sure it looks good on you. Please take care of yourself sister"

"Okay" Her voice was soft when she answered, the shock still fresh. She would be _married_ in three weeks and worse yet, Devit would be there. She knew it would kill him to be there. She didn't want him there – ever. She figured he'd be home, away from her wedding and just not thinking about it. She knew he would be though. She knew he'd know when it was her wedding anyway and hate every moment of it. He'd hate that she'd have to be on another man's arm now. If he knew about the Earl's plans...

She buried her face in her hands, wishing she could fall into a spontaneous pit or something. She didn't...she didn't want this. She just wanted to be with Devit and have her best friends both there as well. That was all she wanted. She just wanted to...She didn't know what she wanted. She wanted it all to be alright though. She knew at the rate it was going though, her plan very well might fall apart. She didn't want that to happen, she wanted to avoid that if she could. She knew at the rate things were going, she might end up having to make an entirely new plan. That would take time. Time that she could be...

"Rain?" She looked up at Devit. He and Jasdero had just entered the room. She looked at the two of them, their eyes worried. She dropped her eyes feeling the helplessness take hold of her for a moment. She heard their foot steps. Devit grabbed her shoulder and her chin. He made her look up at him. "What happened? Talk to me" She moved her chin from his fingers.

"I feel like the Earl is trapping me" She muttered softly. "He's having me wed to that man in three weeks"

There was silence. She knew that they were not liking what they were hearing. She knew that they didn't want to hear this anymore than she wanted to say it. It was silent for a long moment, she knew that Devit was probably trying to calm himself and Jasdero was probably just shocked. She took a deep, shaky breath.

"Also, you two, along with all the rest of your family, will be in attendance to my wedding" She heard their sharp gasps. She didn't look at them. She felt Devit let go of her and he stood, his foot stomping as if he was a child.

"There no _fucking_ way he can marry you in front of me. I'll fucking kill him" Devit's voice started to ramble and she heard Jasdero adding in angry comments. She didn't look at them and she barely heard them. She closed her eyes, her body trembling. The tears finally hit her and she knew that had shut up. She covered her mouth with her hand to soften the sobs. She leaned over herself, her one hand clenched in her lap.

"This is...this isn't fair! Why? Why does he do this to us?" She asked. Jasdero was the first to react, hugging her softly, his golden eyes falling over her face.

"Sh, sh Raina." He cooed softly. "We'll...We'll figure something out. She shook her head but was past saying anything else. She hated the Earl – _hated_ him for all of this. She wished, she wished the Exorcists would win, but she knew that would do no good, because then the Noah - _her _ Noah – would be killed. She looked at Devit and he wrapped his arms around her too, his one finger stroking her tears away. No, she could not loose him. She closed her eyes tightly, scared. She was scared for herself, for them, for everything. Everything was falling apart now and she had to scramble to put it back together. She couldn't...she couldn't just sit here and take. She stood, unwrapping the boys arms from her and walked a few steps from them, wiping her tears away.

"Raina?" She didn't turn to look at Devit for a moment and then she turned to look at them, her face serious despite the dried and lingering tears on her face. She couldn't do this alone anymore. She needed their help now.

"We need a plan. We need to figure something out, something that works. I will not remain here. I will leave this place, the Earl and anyone who has ever worked against us behind" She said, her voice was brave. They looked a little wary at her words. "Help me. I can't do this alone anymore." She was begging them. She needed their help, their strength. She couldn't do this alone anymore.

Devit bit his lip and slowly nodded, as did Jasdero. "Of course we'll help you Rai" Jasdero said softly, his eyes worried. He was probably worried about what they were going to plan and if they could really get away or not. She didn't know but she had to hope. She had learned to trust in hope again.

"We'll all escape this place." Devit promised, his hand reaching out to take hers. She didn't put her hand in his yet. She had to...she had to make sure that they were really okay with running away with her. She knew it'd be dangerous – and quite frankly it hadn't worked so well a year ago when they had tried the same thing.

"Are you okay with this?" She asked, hugging herself. "Doing this for me?" Devit rolled his eyes at her and grabbed her hand, tugging it off her body and pulled her up against him, holding her tight.

"Don't be stupid" He whispered. "We'd do _anything_ for you"

"Anything at all" Assured Jasdero and they made her smile. She wasn't as alone as she feared that she might be and that was some comfort but it wasn't a lot. Maybe someday...maybe someday she'd be able to stand up alone but right now she needed their strength as well. Strength that they were willing to give her. She buried her face in Devit's chest and sighed before pulling away to pull Jasdero into her arms as well.

"Thank you two, thank you so much. I can't do this without you" And now they smiled.

"Oh don't we know it" Devit whispered and she laughed. She knew he was right, but she could only hope that with their strength and her plan they could all escape this place and find some place where they could be happy and be at peace.

If such a place even existed.

* * *

Okay, I'm doing much better now. Clearly. Ten days and another chapter is out. I've been really inspired by all the positive and wonderful reviews I've been getting, along with the understand of my file becoming corrupted. Thank you all so much :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well and I hope to get another one out soon! Leave me some reviews and tell me what you thought okay?


	9. A Unwanted Gift

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
A Unwanted Gift**

It always had to be a day she didn't want it to be. She hated it all. She hated so much of her life now. She was so bitter about so many things anymore, but she had to act happy, act content and act like she gave a shit – even if she didn't. That was the type of person she had to be to get what she wanted. She wanted a lot of things. Right now she had to work on needs though.

She needed to get close to Adam.

She needed him to trust her.

And most of all, she _needed_ a plan so that things didn't go horribly, horribly wrong at her wedding. She didn't want anyone to die that day...Because she had a feeling if they acted up and killed Adam...well the Earl would have his excuse to start looking for a new 'Bonds' of Noah. She couldn't let that happen.

She had already started talking to Adam, keeping her personality trimmed down to something he could swallow. She knew that if she showed how she truly was, she'd probably scare him off. With two weeks until their wedding, she doubted that was a good idea at the moment. She knew the Earl would be furious with her if she did. She didn't want him mad at her, not now, not when she was so close. She had Devit and Jasdero helping her now as well. So things were _as_ bad. She wasn't alone anymore. She wouldn't be alone when she escaped, though...She really didn't want to bring them with her. Only for their safety of course. If they could stay and they could all be happy, she'd leave them behind. She knew that she needed them too much now though and she'd never be happy without them.

So as Adam was let into the small living room she was sitting in she looked up and plastered a smile on her face. She was trying to welcoming to him, trying to make him feel like she was okay. She was far from okay though and she had a feeling he sensed that right below her surface.

"Good afternoon Adam" She said, keeping her voice soft and submissive. She hated that she had to do that with him. Why couldn't be be strong like Devit?

"Good afternoon Raina" he replied, taking a seat across from her on a small chair while she had the entire couch herself. She too advantage of this and laid her legs across it, her skirt thrown across her legs to cover herself as a woman should be properly covered. Her bare feet peeked out from underneath it. It wasn't proper, but it was comfortable. He was looking at her and his eyes actually held some interest in her figure. If it had been Devit, she knew she'd probably be on his lap teasing him.

This was Adam though and she felt nothing towards him at all. She felt no pull to go to him and hardly a speck of care. Mainly she felt guilt for being a helping hand in his father's death. She didn't feel too much though. It had either been his father or her loved ones. Clearly his father had to die.

"How have you been doing so far today Raina?" asked Adam and her eyes looked at him, there was no interest in her eyes but she forced it there, so she'd look have interested in what he had to say. She couldn't afford to insult him, not right now.

"Fairly well... I haven't been sleeping well lately." She admitted, which had been true. The thought of the wedding made her nervous. She still had no idea how she was going to keep Devit from killing Adam, unless that was what the Earl wanted. If it was, she had no idea what his plan was then. Many people were probably going to be at her wedding. It would be horrible of all them saw Devit kill Adam.

"Ah, neither have I actually" Adam admitted and she focused on him again.

"Ah...is the wedding making you nervous too?" she asked, what was supposed to be a shy smile coming over her face. He laughed and rubbed his arm, looking away. His cheeks held a little red on them and she supposed she had guessed right.

"Yes actually. It's been keeping me up at night" He admitted. "Would...it alarm you if I tell you that its not nerves though? I think its because I want to marry you now" His words made her stiffen for a moment, her body locking down. She forced herself to relax before he could notice and looked away, glad her cheeks still had some red on them. It made her look shy instead of scared.

"O-oh? Why is that?"

"When you told me to ask you to marry you – I was scared. I thought you were a controlling woman, but now you seem like a proper young lady again. I believe that was just a case of nerves for you. You were probably just doing me a favor. I might have not asked you otherwise" He said and she heard him laugh again.

"Well" she kept her words solid and but soft, nervous. "I'm glad I helped you out" She tried not to be stiff. He suddenly stood and grabbed her hands pulling her up. She wanted to recoil from his touch but she allowed him to touch her. His eyes were happy and she allowed her eyes to look confused instead of distant. Last thing she needed to do was piss him off. She was trying to avoid that so bad. She was so fearful of it.

"Let me get you a gift. A ring, a necklace! Let me buy you something. I want to be with you Raina. You're beautiful and a proper woman" He said, his voice excited, "You may do some odd things, but that's alright. I don't mind. Get your shoes and your coat. Let us go out" He let her go and gave her a push. She took it to hurt back to her room. She walked till she got to the top of the stairs and then she ran to her room. She dressed slowly, taking the time to let an Akuma braid her hair. She looked at the rings on her middle fingers.

Then she walked out of the room and back to Adam to where he was waiting for her. She found him at the door ready to go. He held out his arm for her and she took it, her fingers trembling. She didn't want to but she was going to go. She was going to let him buy her something nice. She was going to let him be happy. They walked to where the shops were and he stopped in front of a shop he knew well.

"I want to take you out tonight. Here, get yourself a better dress, its on me. Something elegant, beautiful! I'm going to get your gift so it'll be more of a surprise!" He left her font of the shop and walked away, a grin on his face. She entered and a bell rang. It looked similar to before. As before a woman came running from the back.

"Hello may I-" She stopped upon seeing Raina and Raina looked at her for a long moment before smiling lightly.

"Hello again Eve"

"Back again?" She asked, crossing her arms across her thin chest. She looked at Raina another long moment. "Well, what do you need this time? Another makeover maybe" She smiled at the thought. Raina's smile widened a little too.

"You get to dress me up again – makeover, everything. My fiance requests it" She spat the word fiance out with a bitterness. Eve caught onto that and she looked away, a frown pursing her lips.

"You don't love him?"

"I'm already in love with someone else" She sighed, brushing off her dress.

Eve motioned for her to follow her. They walked into the back and up a set of stairs to the area above the shop which was where Eve lived. She was a widow. For as young as she looked, she was already a widow – and childless. Raina only knew this because they were very distant cousin from her mother's side. Eve's husband had owned the shop originally and they had fallen in love gotten married and Eve had a wonderful son for them. When their son was a year and a half he and his father were murdered. It had been a big story at the time. Now it left Eve by herself. She refused to re-marry or bear children anymore. Raina admired her, she was brave.

"Tell me what happened" Eve suggested as she sat down at the one chair. Raina took the other across from her, a frown on her lip. She removed the clothing she used to cover her upper body – her scars – and showed them to Eve. Eve's face was one of pure horror.

"Ugly right? I got these so I could spend the rest of my life with the man I love but..." She felt the frustrated tears in her eyes. She was frustrated. So much given up and yet she had gained nothing for herself.

"You can't be with him" Eve completed softly.

"Yes and I wish I didn't have to marry this man...I don't love him. I love Devit" She sighed, rubbing her head and then she stood. "Work on my outfit Eve. Adam will come to get me any minute now" Eve stood slowly and walked around the table and hugged Raina with a sigh.

"We were never close because our blood is so thin it might as well not exist. You're a noble, I'm not. You come from a rich family, I don't. I want you to know though, I will be there for you as much as I can. Our blood is thin, but it is shared" She let go of Raina and took a step back. "Come on, I'll get you a beautiful dress." She led her down to the room where she dressed her customers.

Raina allowed Eve to set to work, taking her first dress off. She heard the other woman's sharp gasp as she got to see more of Raina's scars. She wondered how Adam would feel when he saw the full extent of them. He had only see the ones on her shoulders and hands. Would he not want her anymore? One could only hope. She could only hope.

"Eve?" She let her voice be soft for the moment. Eve only made a small noise to acknowledge that she was being talked to. "I want you to do my wedding dress" She heard Eve just stop and she wondered if her request was such a shock. She turned to look at her. Eve was indeed frozen with shock. "Eve?"

"Um...A...Are you sure? It's your wedding. You could hire someone so much better. I mean I have skill, but I'm not as good as some others in the city and-"

"Eve" Raina cut her off. "I want you to do my wedding dress." She turned back around. "Now finish up. I imagine Adam is waiting for me by now" Eve hurried along then and in no time, Raina had a new more finished and formal dress on. She kept her boots, they were black and went with anything really. Her dress was violet, darker than her eyes, long, completely in style. She wore a hat that she felt was hiding her face. She wore white sleeves that covered her arms down to her fingers. When she looked in the mirror at herself, her hair piled on top of her head, her hat hiding the right side of her face she felt like she didn't like it. It was the latest fashion though she supposed. She would deal with it.

She and Eve walked out front and saw Adam waiting, holding a box in his hands. Raina twisted the ring on her one finger. She didn't like this at all. She didn't like the gifts – or him. She wanted Devit. Adam turned to look at them and his eyes brightened upon looking at her. She let her eyes be dim. She was tired of acting. She wanted to go home tell a Noah to get in contact with her sister. She heard Adam pay and thank Eve before he dragged her out the door. She was on his arm like some sort of doll. She hated it.

"Adam" She said as they walked. "I want her to do my Wedding dress. I already asked, she said she would"

"We'll get someone bigger to do it" He answered as if that answer was so simple, like she was stupid not to know it already. She frowned.

"No, Eve will do it or I won't wear a dress. I'll walk out in my underwear" He stopped, jerking her back, making her arms ache.

"Fine. She'll do your dress. Just refrain from such vulgar statements in the future." He started dragging her along then again. The box was still in his hands.

When was he going to give it to her? She didn't want it, but the sooner she got it, the sooner she could go home, the sooner she could find out when she could see her twins again. They actually made her feel like a person. She felt like she was no more than an object to Adam. She was just a pretty thing to put on his arm. That was the reason he liked her. She noticed the anger in his eyes when he had agreed to allow Eve to do her dress. Her arm still ached from him jerking on it too hard. She couldn't tell him that though. She didn't want him to know that she had a huge weakness, that she was a lot weaker than she pretended to be.

They walked a little further and finally reached the park. It was beautiful and many nobles were walking around. Some were walking dogs with their husbands and children. As she looked at this place, she suddenly wanted a husband, a child, a family. She knew that it would be wrong to ask all those things of Devit though. She could never ask a thing like that of him. She was happy enough how they had it though – well before Adam had showed up. She knew this was for the greater good though.

Adam walked her to a place where she could be seated and then he sat next to her and held out the box for her to open. She hesitated and looked into his eyes. The anger was no longer there, only hope for a future. The future he clearly wanted wasn't too different from the one she wanted. She didn't want it with him though. Had she not already fallen in love, someday she might love Adam. She would never be able to as long as Devit still lived.

No.

Even if something terrible were to happen to Devit and if she were never to see him again...She would never love again. Not like she loved Devit. She had given so much up for him. She had given up everything she had. Her home, her friends, her fate, her destiny, her Innocence. She had given up everything she could to be with him. She had given him herself then, herself as a whole. She would give him everything if she ever had to. Her body, her soul, her blood. No matter what he needed, she knew she would always give it up because she loved him.

She supposed her love made her foolish. She supposed it was her love for him that had put her in the condition. She hated herself for so long, but should it have been him she should have been hating? Should she have blamed it on him?

She knew she wouldn't have because she spent those days wallowing is self-pity and sorrow and hatred for the future that would never be. She had been too blind to see that there were other futures for herself. She could see them now with stunning clearness. She could see them, she wanted them but knew she had to wait before she could have such things. She would wait, but she would have them.

For now, she had to focus on the present. She looked at the box, away from Adam's hopeful eyes. She lifted her trembling fingers and pinched the box between her fingers and it opened easily. She looked at the necklace within. It was a stunning thing of pearls and diamonds, amethysts and silver. The chain itself was silver and pearls line along it, diamonds shinning between the pears like little stars. Then in the middle, where it would hang at the base of her throat was two deep purple amethysts. Under the two amethysts was a larger diamond. It was beautiful, but she hated it. She turned.

"Put it on me"

She hoped her stiff voice was mistaken for over-whelmed emotion. It probably was because he quickly removed the necklace from its box and wrapped the cold thing around her neck like a snake that might strangle her. When it was locked around her he moved his fingers away and she turned to look at him again and he smiled.

"It looks beautiful on you" He said simple and she forced herself to smile at the compliment.

"Thank you Adam" She replied, keeping her tone polite. She wanted to leave, to run away. Instead he rose and took her upon his arm again and they walked. He chatted as they did, his voice as pleased as red-chested robin's. It was clear he thought he had done something worth being proud of. Really, she didn't think it was that big of a deal using a little bit of money to buy a necklace for her. She could have done it for herself. Devit would have just stolen her something simple.

She probably would have loved it more.

As it was, she was astounded by the beauty of the item, but she hated it because of who it was from. She couldn't help but hate his gift. It was a gift of hopeful affection. He was _courting_ her where as he had no rights to! She already had someone she loved!

_But 'Love' and 'Marriage' are not the same thing. I'm fair game. I'm single, I'm not married and I hate it. Of course I should have see this coming in the end. What else am I good for to the Earl? I'm a ex-Exorcist being kept as a Noah's 'pet'. I should have known..._

"Raina? Hello?"

She blinked and looked at Adam. She hadn't been listening to what he was saying because of her thoughts. She had been letting them wander. It wasn't as bad as when she had been away from herself but she realized that she shouldn't let herself wander like that. It probably wasn't healthy.

"Yes?" She replied.

"I asked you if you were feeling well. Are you? You look ill. Ah, let me take you home. You're probably tired" She nodded at his words, closing her eyes softly for one moment. She was tired. She was tired of him. She was tired of his rambling, of him holding her arm, of the necklace weighting down her throat, choking her.

"Yes, please walk me home so I can rest"

Devit stood in the doorway to his and Jasdero's room. Jasdero was already on the bed being treated by the Akuma. He was watching them, carefully, while he leaned against the doorway. His blood dripped on the floor, _drip...drip...drip..._

Jasdero had gotten it worse. Damn Exorcists. They weren't supposed to be there, but they had been anyway. Stupid, stupid Exorcist. He limped over to his brother, pretty sure a part of his leg was broken. He collapsed half-way there and the Akuma had him then, dragged him to the bed and started to treat him as well.

They had gotten distracted by something, their minds wandering, thinking of other things when an Exorcist had attacked them. The Exorcist had injured them from the start so they had an upper hand. Actually, Devit and Jasdero had killed the squirming, stupid Exorcist but not until they had fought and injured the twins as much as they could. Devit had cuts all up his ribs and a large cut on his shoulder that ran down most of his arm. His leg was broken. He could feel it.

Jasdero had actually been stabbed, the hole being ripped as Devit had ripped the Exorcist away from his brother. Jasdero's golden hair was stained with blood, his golden eyes closed. To tell the truth, Devit was scared for Jasdero. He was scared that Jasdero was going to die. He had never been scared of his twin dying before but now, now he felt that fear raw and fresh and much more painful than his own wounds. He watched Jasdero and reached his hand out to take his brother's hand. It was warm so he was alive. He was breathing so he had to be alive.

The Akuma finished their treatments and left the twins to rest. Devit dragged himself away from the bloodstained part of the bed and then pulled Jasdero along as well, pulling his brother next to him. He watched Jasdero breath for a long moment, the fear still there. He had been hurt so bad. His head and he had been so cruelly. Devit took his brother's hand again and then the other's golden eyes opened just a little.

"Devi?" He asked, his voice was low.

"Get some rest Jas" Devit replied, his own voice low. He was worried. He needed sleep, but he didn't want to sleep with Jasdero so hurt. What if he stopped breathing? Or...Or what if the bleeding didn't stop? Or...or...or...

"Jasdevi" Devit looked as Fae entered the room. Tyki was behind her. "We'll take turns watching over you two. Get some rest." She came further into the room and some how managed to dig a chair up to pull over by their bed. She took a seat and looked at Tyki. "I'll come get you in a few hours to take your turn, love" He walked to her and leaned down to kiss her. Devit was surprised. He didn't think that Tyki would ever fee for her, but he supposed even Tyki had to have someone.

"Rest up Jasdevi" He said. "And watch Jasdero Fae. He's the worse out of the two" Fae nodded and watched Tyki walk out of the room before focusing on the twins before her.

"Get some rest. I'll watch you for a while" Devit nodded, thankful and then laid by his brother who was also already asleep. He kept Jasdero's hand as he drifted off and he wondered how Raina was doing. He hoped that she was safer than the two of them were. He didn't expect to have any dreams, but they always showed up for him at the most unexpected of times.

_It had the same feeling as the dream he had over a year ago, he could feel that. He was outside though. The grass crunched under his feet, the world was frozen. He walked slowly across the grass and he heard someone behind him. He turned to look at her and his brother. He sighed, a sound of relief. She came to him, as she always would. He noticed the dirt on her face, how she wore a cloak around her. They were running. Were they getting away?_

_It didn't matter. They were walking, the frozen grass crunching under their feet as they moved. She let go of his hand and turned, her eyes wheeling. He heard it too. He turned, pushing her behind him. Jasdero stood protectively as well. Then they realized she wasn't safe at all, they were completely surrounded. He hissed through his teeth, angry. He pushed her._

"_Run!" he commanded. She obeyed, for once she listened to him and she ran. She didn't get far before they caught her. He and Jasdero started towards her to help her, faster than the weaklings around them. His hand reached out to pull her away from them and instead he saw the flash of silver in his hand and how it sunk into her chest. She made a noise of surprise. He knew he did too. He could only stare bewildered at the knife he already knew._

_She started to sink to the ground, her eyes still locked with his, tears in them. She was breathing heavily, but he knew that wouldn't last. He sank to his knees at her side and when she lay on the ground, he let go of the dagger. He saw a snowflake drift down to melt on her still-warm face and then there were more, laying in his and her hair as she slowly died right next to him._

Devit woke up with a start. His eyes snapped open and his fingers clutched the bed tightly. He felt his chest heave and the air rushed down his throat in an almost painful way. He sat up, luckily none of his wounds protested too much. He looked around,. Was he in the field? Was it winter? Was there snow? No.

No.

He was at home, he was hurt. Jasdero was hurt worse though. He moved to check on his brother who was breathing and sleeping peacefully. A sigh of relief left his lips. He turned to look at Tyki who was watching him carefully, but had not spoken yet. Devit watched the other man for a long moment before sighing.

"How long was I out?" Not like it mattered, but he would like to know.

"About eight hours or so" Tyki replied. He leaned back in the chair, one arm hanging off the side. "You were having a nightmare though and I considered waking you. I was just about to"

"Yeah...it was a nightmare" He mainly said these words to reassure himself. His throat felt dry. He needed a drink. He swallowed hard and looked at his hands, remembering the feel of blood on them – _her_ blood.

"There's some water by your bed" Tyki said and Devit's eyes snapped back to the other man. He glanced over at the little table they had by their bed and there was some water sitting on it, two cups and a large pitcher. He managed to get himself close enough to pour himself a glass and get it without hurting his leg too much.

He took a drink, trying to erase the dream from his mind. He didn't remember all of it by now, the details were fading. He remembered blood, the grass, the snow. That was it. He sighed and took another drink of the refreshing water before sitting the glass down. He noticed Tyki watching him and he gave Tyki an annoyed look.

"You and Jasdero are lucky to have made it back here. I don't know how you carried Jasdero with a broken leg, but you managed"

"I couldn't let him die" Devit replied, inspecting his leg. His voice was annoyed. What did Tyki expect him to do? Just leave his brother behind? He could never do that! Jasdero was his twin and the other half of their bond. He would never abandon Jasdero!

"I didn't say to do that" Tyki's voice was calm, low, soothing. "I just wondered how you managed it without bleeding to death yourself." Devit was shirtless so it was easy to see the bandages on his arms. They were white, meaning they were probably changed while he had been asleep. He touched his arm and then looked down at his ribs where there had been huge slashes, cutting into his skin but they had missed anything vital. They had just hurt like a bitch.

"Fucking Exorcists" He cursed. He ran his fingers through his tangled black hair. If only they had been paying more mind, they wouldn't have gotten as badly hurt as they did. He laid back down, feeling tired, more tired than he had ever felt in his entire life.

"Get some more sleep Devit. When you and your brother are awake I'm sure the Earl will come to check on you" Tyki said.

"Tell him not to fucking bother" Grumbled Devit and then he closed his eyes, moving himself back towards Jasdero, to be close to the other while he slept. He wanted to know that he was still breathing, even while they both slept.

It was another couple hours later, thankfully dreamless hours later, that Devit awoke to Jasdero squirming. He opened his eyes to see Jasdero trying to stretch a little after being asleep so long. Instead he was now clutching his wound, eyes closed a pained expression on his face.

"J-Jas!" He sat up fast, his head spinning. He didn't know what to do for his brother. He had no idea what to do to help him with his pain. Jasdero opened his eyes a little and let a grim smile slip onto his face.

"Its okay Devi. It just hurts a little" He said simply. Devit frowned, not liking this one bit. Hopefully recovery would be fast for both of them. Jasdero let go of his wound and just laid there for a long moment. He yawned then, rubbing at his eyes. "At least we survived. We could have died."

"Yes, yes you could have" The Earl entered the room. Fae was sitting in the chair now, instead of Tyki. She stood as the Earl came in and bowed before walking out. The Earl took her spot on the chair. He looked at the two of them, though his face still had that smile on it, they could tell he was upset. "You two should be much more careful. You don't want to die do you?"

"We just got distracted" Devit muttered. "Its not like we like getting hurt"

"It sucks" Jasdero agreed.

"You two are lucky to be alive. I ask that you be more careful in the future" There was genuine care in his voice and they both nodded at his words. "I'll send some food in soon. Don't scarf it like you two usually do else it will make you sick" Again they nodded. Then he got up and left the room. Sometimes they forgot about the good side of the Earl. They were happy to have seen it though. They were usually so angry over his treatment of Raina that it was hard to remember about how he really was towards his Noah.

Devit looked at Jasdero. "Hopefully after this we can go see Raina" He said, moving some of his black hair out of his eyes again.

"Yeah...It'd be nice to see Rai again..."

"We kinda deserve it after getting so banged up. She'll probably bitch at us" Devit tried to make his voice sound annoyed. He thought he was doing a pretty good job. "_Why aren't you two more careful?_" He mocked the sound of her voice. "_You're a bunch of idiots loosing your focus_" Jasdero giggled a little but groaned when it hurt him. Devit frowned. "Sorry"

"No" Jasdero replied. "You do a pretty good impression of her" He grinned, showing that he was both insulting and teasing his brother.

Devit touched his fist to his brother's shoulder in a mock punch. "Shut up Jas" Instead Jasdero stuck his tongue out at him. Then they both sighed. "I hope these stupid wounds don't stick around for a long time"

"Yeah...It sucks"

"Yeah" Devit agreed. "It really does"

Then they both fell silent, waiting for the food and Devit couldn't help but let his mind wander back to when Fae showed him that dagger – the exact one he had dreamed of twice now. He'd have to make sure to stay away from it. He never wanted to hurt Raina and as long as he could do something about it, he never would. He had to protect her, let it be from others or from himself.

* * *

Well, this chapter didn't go as planned, but thats okay, because I'm very happy with the result. Now everyone is having scary death-dreams. This can only mean one thing~ So what did you guys think? Leave me reviews. The next chapter will be out soon and I'm sure you'll be excited to read it. It'll be to die for~

Side note: This story was supposed to be out a while ago but there was a PHP crash and I couldn't get my story out. This story has been due for well over a week! It was annoying to wait so long to put this chapter out, but I'm happy that you guys can finally read it!


	10. Healing

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Healing**

Tyki laid in bed, tired after watching Jasdevi for almost eight hours. Fae had taken over again. He would sleep for a couple of hours and go back. He didn't like her in there with the two injured twins. It had been two or three days and they still watched over them. The twins had hardly left their bed. Well, Jasdero couldn't, what with his head injury and the huge stab wound in his stomach. Devit was wounded and couldn't move his one arm at all without causing himself pain, but he could limp short distances. Jasdero had to be helped. A few times Devit had tried to help his brother up when he needed something, but the fact was they were just too beat up this time.

He knew they were careless, but they had been _really_ careless this time. There had been a chance that they might have died. Devit had nearly killed himself running with his own wounds here and probably made his broken leg worse. Idiots. He closed his eyes, feeling a wave of sleepiness overwhelm him.

He would get a little bit of sleep and then he would go and watch them again.

Fae had taken up sewing to get through her time with Jasdevi. They were sleeping now. They spent their time that way mostly – in a coma like sleep. Once she had heard Jasdero coo Raina's name softly in his sleep and she had actually smiled a little. They were close and she could only be happy there were people such as them watching over her sister. At the same time she was horrified because they could be the world's biggest idiots sometimes and what if that got her sister – her twin – killed? She could only imagine the pain. She sighed, putting the needle and the cloth and thread on her lap and looked at them. They were real idiots

They were still trying to take care of themselves though they were hurt. A few times she had seen Devit trying to help his brother up. He had been unable to support his own weight on his broken leg so there was no way he could support his brother's as well. She had pushed Devit back in bed and called an Akuma to assist Jasdero. Devit had cursed at her and grumbled and growled but he laid in bed until Jasdero was returned to his side. She thought that they had to worry only about themselves at the moment – what person wouldn't worry about themselves at a moment like this? - but they also asked of Raina. Devit would ask Fae what she was feeling from her twin. Their sense had grown dimmer because of Raina's depression to tell the truth and though she knew when Raina was in pain, she didn't know her emotions very well at all. It was troubling.

Still, she supposed these thoughts were irreverent. She could finish her little project and then make sure Jasdevi didn't need anything to eat or drink or if they needed help getting to the bathroom. She wouldn't help them, an Akuma would. She had no desire to see any more of Devit than she already had when she walked in on him and Raina. Of course she knew that they did that in their spare time – the bruises were only one sign of what they did – but she never wanted to see it with her own eyes.

She sighed and started sewing again, but she pricked her finger on the needle. She didn't say ow, only moved the cloth and thread away so it wouldn't get any blood on it. A single drop beaded on her finger before she licked it away. Her blue eyes looked at the twins laying on the bed and sighed. Why did her sister have to love idiots?

Devit opened his eyes a few hours later. Jasdero was breathing softly right next to him. Jasdero's eyes were closed. He breathed lightly, his body was healing slowly. Slowly, too slowly. He hated this. Less than two weeks. He had a dream about the wedding that would be taking place, the wedding where she would be given to _him._ She didn't belong to him...He sighed and glanced over at Fae who was sewing something on his lap and paying no mind to him at all. He wasn't the one that had almost died. He wasn't the one that they were watching to make sure that he wasn't dead.

"How's Jas doing?" he asked out loud, his voice soft. His throat was dry so his voice was also rough. Fae looked up at him, her hands pausing.

"Well for the wound he received. It did hit some vitals and Noah or not that's going to put him out of commission for quite a while. Probably another few days but the Earl says you two will be up and about for the Wedding at the very least" Her words held no emotion, as if she didn't care about what she was saying. It was how Devit knew that she did care, that she was upset about all of it. She didn't want to go either. He didn't want to go. He had to go though. He knew the Earl was trying to put him and Jasdero in their place with all of this.

"I'm glad to he's doing well." Devit replied.

"Dero will be fine" Jasdero muttered, his eyes not open. His hand lay on top of his wound. His hair was a mess, though the bandages were thankfully white.

"When did you change his bandages last?"

"An hour or two ago" Fae answered, sewing once again, her eyes focused solely on the work she was doing and not the two that lay in the bed before her. Devit thought maybe she was trying to ignore everything for the moment, maybe in belief that it would get better. Would it?

Devit sighed, covering his eyes with his arm. Maybe it would, if they could help Raina like they wanted to. Maybe things would get better for them. Of course Fae would be worried out of her mind, but she would know that Devit would keep her sister safe no matter what. Devit just hope that they could keep her safe in this crazy plan she had...

Raina sat in Eve's store watching her sew. She came here a lot now, to "watch her make her dress". That wasn't the real reason she was here. She was here to keep away from Adam. He was often at her house now, talking to her, planning with her and giving her more unwanted gifts – dresses, jewelry, and other such nonsense that she didn't want a thing to do with. She came here now to talk with Eve and watch her sew. She wasn't completely open with Eve...but she was open enough.

"He hasn't been around in well over a week now – I'm worried" Her tone was soft, hushed. They were sitting Eve's back room but that didn't stop her from whispering some things.

"You mean the one you're in love with" It wasn't a question, merely a statement of the fact.

"Yes...I believe he may have been hurt. Knowing him...he probably was. The bloody idiot" Eve chuckled lightly at her words and glanced up at Raina quickly, taking her eyes off sewing the dress for a moment.

"Well, I'm sure if he loves you as much as you say he does, he'll be around soon regardless" Eve's voice was soothing. She was trying to calm her. She knew that. She knew she shouldn't be too worried about them. They could take care of themselves but it was hard when she loved them so much. She could really use their support as well. She wanted them there with her, but she supposed she was being selfish...and greedy too.

"I guess you're right. They're probably just busy or something...Or their boss is being a jerk or something" She sighed, looking at the dress. It was coming along beautifully. It would be ready in time. She worked on it for hours everyday and was making it out of only the best materials. "Eve..." She started with a low voice.

"What is it?"

"The dress is beautiful, but I want one small little detail"

"A detail?" Now Eve was focused on her.

"I want black. I want one little bit of black where everyone will be able to see it"

"Black?" Now her eyes were crinkled in a way that said she was troubled. "Why would you want such a horrid color on your wedding dress?"

"_Black means she wishes herself back_" Raina recited. "Its something about old wedding dresses that a friend of mine from my old job told me. She used to be into stuff like that and she told me about how they used color wedding dresses according to how the Brides felt. I wish myself back. I do not want to marry him, but there is no other way"

"Raina" Eve's voice was cautious, as if she didn't know how to tell her what she was about to say. "There is always another way"

"No Eve. Sometimes there is only one way to get what you want" Then it was silent. Raina stood. "I'll go for the day. Thank you for letting me bother you with my trifles" And then she left. She walked home, thinking of her two boys. She really did miss them and hoped she could see them soon.

She was able to get home without running into Adam or having him send someone for her, so she was going to get out of her dress, put on a pair of pants and relax for a while. She went to her room to do so and when she opened the door she almost screamed, but was able to swallow it. Tyki was standing in her room. She glared at him.

"You nearly scared the life from me" She grumbled at him. "What do you want?" Her tone was annoyed, but she never liked to be scared. He was sitting in her chair by her still broken vanity mirror. It was still covered by a cloth. She still didn't want to see herself. He was frowning though, which made her frown more, a small worry sparked inside her. What _was_ he doing here?

"I came to tell you about what happened to Jasdevi" As soon as the words were out of his mouth she felt the air ripping through her lungs. She was by him him a moment, fingers on his shoulder, on his arm, clutching.

"What happened? Are they alright? Take me to them! Let me see them!" He smiled, a ghost of a smile.

"That's what I intend to do. I already got permission from the Earl. If anyone comes calling today, they will be turned away at the door and told you are away on business." He stood, brushing her fingers off him. "Change, then we will leave" He walked out of the room and she hurried to change, ruining the dress in her haste. She quickly put on a pair of pants and a shirt that looked much more like men's clothing but she didn't care. She ran out into the hall where Tyki was waiting.

"Let's go" She insisted. Then they did.

They couldn't get there fast enough for her but as soon as she was back on her own feet, she ran down the well known halls of the Noah Manor. She knew this place inside out and it didn't take long to get to Devit and Jasdero's room. She slammed the door open and took in the scene quickly. The room was a bit cleaner, Fae sat by their bed sewing. A corner of their bed was soaked in a brown-red stain which she knew was dried blood. Jasdero was trying to sit up but gasped in pain and fell back. Devit was up and trying to comfort his brother. Both were shirtless and she could see the bandages on them as well as the cast that Devit had on his one leg.

She felt faint seeing them so banged up. Jasdero clearly had it worse, but Devit was bad too. She worked on not falling to her knees and sobbing and instead went to the edge of the bed. She was scared to climb on it. She looked at Jasdero's wound and it reminded her of when he and Devit had been stabbed in the chest by Tyki and almost died. Her lip trembled as she tried to hold back the tears.

They were both look at her now anyway and crying would be stupid and annoying and weak of her. She had to be strong for them.

"Are...are you two alright?" She asked. She gently reached out and stroked Jasdero's hair. He sighed lightly and smiled, a ghost-smile, mixed with the pain from his wounds..

"We're fine. You worry too much Rai"

"Yeah" Devit smiled. "Ya shoulda seen us a few days ago if you want to see what we looked all beat up" She looked at him, unsure if he was kidding or not. "Rain. Calm down. I was kidding, we're fine" She felt her eyes tear up and she hit him in his good shoulder. He cried out in surprise.

"Stupid panda-boy" She grumbled burying her face in a clear part of the bed, not wanting to look at him.

"What did you call me?" He asked, his voice nearly a growl. She looked up at him, tears still running down his face.

"Panda! You're a panda cuz you wear that stupid makeup and it makes you look like a panda! You're a stupid panda-boy just like you were when I found you in Italy! Stupid, stupid panda!" Her words were nearly shouted and she knew her sister was probably trying to hold back laughter, but she didn't care. It made her feel a little better.

"Dammit! You take that back! I don't look like a panda!" He shouted back.

"Panda! Panda! Panda! Stupid, stupid Panda-boy!" She shouted, probably acting like a child but, she couldn't help it. She didn't want to think of the fear right now, she didn't want to be afraid. She just wanted them to be okay. She crawled onto the bed and sat above where they where laying in the very middle of the bed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid...But my stupid pandas..." She murmured this last part, frowning at both of them. Devit turned to look at her and Jasdero, who couldn't seem to sit up merely just glanced up at her.

"We're sorry" They both said at the same time.

"You better be" she muttered, sounding grumpy. "I can't loose you two. I love you guys too much." She stroked her fingers across Jasdero's forehead, moving some of his hair out of his eyes.

"We're sorry" They repeated and Devit leaned towards her his forehead resting on her shoulder. "We're so sorry" She kept her fingers on Jasdero and wrapped her other arm around Devit.

"You're alive though. It'll be okay" She was saying this mainly to herself, to make her believe that no matter what, these two would pull through – they'd be fine. They had to be fine for her sake. She couldn't go on without them. "Just rest. I'll stay here. I'll stay with you, rest with you" She held out trembling hands to them and they wrapped her hands in theirs. Their hands were cold though, but she didn't care. She gripped them tightly, as if she'd never let go. Devit lifted his head to look at her and she scooted in between them. They hesitated only a moment and Devit laid back down.

"Stay with us" He muttered, curling against her, head resting on her shoulder again. Jasdero's head was against her other shoulder. She didn't know why he was even telling her to stay with them.

"Don't leave" Their voices were light, tired. They were falling asleep. She watched them, keeping her hands in theirs as they did go to sleep and then she glanced at Fae. Fae stood and looked at her for a long moment. There was something more than worry on her face but Raina couldn't tell what it was.

"I'll be back soon. Watch over them sister" She didn't watch as Fae left the room. She lay, looking straight up as her boys, her Jasdevi, laid with her, their eyes already closed, breathing peaceful. Jasdero was clearly asleep but Devit stirred. She glanced at him, noticing that his eyes were open a little. He looked like he was thinking hard about something.

"Don't give yourself a headache" she joked with him softly and his eyes darted up to hers.

"I'm not" He said, his voice seemingly sad. There was fear there too, repressed but heavy and daunting. She could see it in his eyes and how they ran over her face and seemed to be making sure that she was really there and that he was no longer dreaming. She instantly felt the worry building inside her, the protectiveness though she no longer had the power to protect.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been having nightmares"

"Nightmares?" she prompted, wanting him to go on.

"Its probably nothing...Never mind. Sorry, I'll go to sleep now" His eyes darted away from her's. She wanted to know why, why he was scared, why he wasn't looking at her, why the nightmares were bothering him. She wouldn't ask though, she felt like she couldn't.

"Wait...how long have you been having nightmares?" She asked, her voice worried, kind of breathy with that worry that felt like someone had just punched her in the stomach. He smiled slightly at her, reassuring, his golden eyes focusing on her for the moment. She hated that he did that. He needed to focus on himself, on his pain, his wounds, his nightmares.

"Don't worry yourself to death Raina. I thought you said you were going to rest with us."

"I need to make sure you rest first" She said simply. Her eyes bore into his and he looked away again and she closed her eyes. "I'll rest, I promise I will. No more nightmares though. No more worries, just rest...rest and get back your strength. You'll need it...We'll need it..." She felt him nod. "I love you Devit." She didn't open her eyes, but she felt his lips against her skin, felt the words against her skin too when he spoke them.

"I know"

It was maybe an hour later when she woke, too warm from the twins on either side of her. She managed to squirm away from them. Fae was back, sewing once again. When Raina finally had her feet on the ground again she glanced at the twins who had scooted closer to each other in her absence. She smiled a little then turned her eyes to her twin who was looking at her.

"I need a bath or a shower or something. I feel like crap." She said and Fae motioned out the door.

"You know where the shower is. Take a quick one and put on the robe that's in there – its clean. You can then go dig through my closet and see if you can find anything you would wear. No promises though." She smiled up at Raina. Her smile looked sweet but Raina knew it was sarcastic and she rolled her eyes. "You're more like you"

"I can't be anyone else but me"

"But you were"

"I wasn't."

"You weren't the you I know. You weren't you...But now you are more you than you've been in a while but..." She looked a littler nervous. "I don't feel you anymore, ever since you weren't you"

"I don't understand Fae. I've always been me" Fae shook her head before the sentence was even completely out of Raina's mouth.

"Regardless, I feel you less than I once did." she looked at Raina. "Have you noticed our twin "sense" has weakened?"

Raina stood in thought for a moment and her honest answer was _no_ because she hadn't noticed. Stress and business and her own emotions had nearly completely blocked Fae's emotions from her before. Now she was so used to just feeling herself, but now that Fae brought it to light, she noticed that she was right. They weren't as connected as before and Raina didn't know if that was good or bad.

"What do you think that means?" she asked.

"We're not as in touch as we used to be"

"We haven't been in touch since we were like eleven Fae"

"I know, but we still cared for each other"

"Are you saying we're too selfish?"

"I'm saying that your year of pitying yourself may have made our link numb. It may take a while, if ever, for it to get back up to speed." Fae looked at the project she was working on. "It's your fault, but I don't blame you. I really can't. If I suddenly lost all my strength, I'd probably hide away from the world too"

"I didn't loose all of it"

"It seemed like you did. I see now that you didn't. You're burning brightly again sister...Please see to it that you don't snuff out again. The last time was devastating enough, I don't want to go through it again" Raina opened her mouth to give some kind of come back but Fae motioned for her to go away. "Go take your shower"

With a sigh, Raina complied and she headed out the door, closing it behind her. No one was in the hall, which didn't bother or surprise her. The Noah often entertained themselves. She walked down the hall heading for the shower and her hand was on the door when she heard a soft meow. She turned her eyes to the black cat sitting on the floor. It looked at her with too intelligent golden eyes. She knew the cat was just another form of Lulubell, a Noah that she had nothing to fear from. Lulubell only cared for the "master's" orders.

"So you're back" She said as she shifted from cat to human form. Of course, she had no clothes on what-so-ever. Raina knew the rules of her transformation though but she stood in the hall as if it was normal for a person to be naked in the middle of the hall. "I'm glad that Master thought it right to bring you back here...you are staying here right?"

"No" She answered, not knowing why she was even bothering. "Devit and Jasdero were hurt. I'm here to make sure they get well again and then I have wedding to get to in less then two weeks"

"Ah...I remember. He's marrying you off to a simple human. I disagree again with Master's choice, but I won't say anything because though I disagree, I'm sure that you'll be more use than pain" She studied Raina with sharp eyes. "I may be wrong of course. It might have even been better if Master just killed you"

"Devit and Jasdero would never stand for it" Raina could feel anger bubbling up inside her. "Besides, what do you know? Or care for that matter?"

"I know more than you'd expect" Her eyes glinted in a strange manner that made Raina believe her. "And I would just like to see the Earl happy – as any Noah should want." She sighed, brushing her dark hair from her golden eyes. "Please make sure you do what the Master tells you else I'll be sure to punish you for him" Then she shifted back into a cat and trotted down the hallway once again. Raina shuddered, a light shiver passing through her body and then she hurried into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

She was able to strip her clothes down in peace and stare at her scars in the mirror for a moment. She traced them with her eyes, trying to see signs of fading. She didn't see any, but she wished that she was. She sighed and stepped into the shower, turning the hot water on high so she could feel the heat burn against her skin. She took a long shower, loosing herself in the heat and steam and water for a while, letting her close her eyes and imagine she was in a different place – a different time. The time for her to open her eyes and face the world came too soon. She stepped out of the shower, her skin red from the heat and slipped on the soft robe, tying it tightly against her waist so no one got a peek of anything they shouldn't.

She dried her hair out as best as she could before wrapping it in a towel and venturing out of the bathroom and towards her sister's room. It didn't take long to reach it. She entered, closing and locking the door behind her before walking to the closet and opening it. She groaned, looking at the girly, frilly clothes within. She started to sort through he clothes, trying to find something decent. She didn't hear anyone come in and she shouldn't have been surprised that a locked door was nothing to some of the Noah.

"I haven't forgotten" His voice made her jump and whirl around to face him. "I figured I'd remind you" She clutched her robe closed as she looked up at Tyki, her heart beating like she was a trapped animal.

"Wh...What are you talking about?"

"Just because you can't defend yourself doesn't mean I won't make good on my promise." He said. She looked at him and remembered then. Her face hardened and she stood up straighter.

"I'm not afraid of you" Before she could react he laughed, a brief bitter laugh and then his one hand was around her neck. He pushed her back until she felt herself trapped against the wall. Her hands went to Tyki's wrist, ready to try and pry him off her. He was holding her by her throat, but not hurting her. She made careful note of that.

"You should be." His voice was low now. She wondered if he was going to kill her or not. She wasn't afraid that he was though. "I know about you and your sister's bond growing weaker. If I killed you now, before the two of you try and repair it, it wouldn't do her much harm"

"Do you care about my sister?"

"Of course" He didn't hesitate when he answered. "We don't see the need to flaunt it like you and Devit do with those bruises of yours" His words made her face flush.

"He doesn't mean to bruise me. I bruise easily"

"I'm sure" Tyki's voice was flat now. They stared at each other for a long moment and then an annoyed frown quirked Raina's lips.

"Are you going to kill me or not?" she asked. "I'm only wearing a robe after all and if I can live, I'd like to brush my hair and get dressed. If you're going to kill me, try it. I'll fight you every step of the way." He laughed again and let go of her.

"I should kill you now, I know I should. I just find your idiot remarks amusing. You're defiantly made for Devit" She started to open her mouth to ask him what he meant by that but he walked out of the room, walking right through the door, as he usually did. She stood by the wall, trying to think through what just happen. She knew she had come close to being killed. She closed her eyes and allowed her brain to repress that bit of information so she wouldn't freak out. She turned shakily back to the closet and began shifting through it again. She found a long nightshirt that went to her ankles to slip on. She dried out her hair then and used her sister's comb.

Finally she was able to go back to Jasdero and Devit. They were both awake and sitting up. Their eyes turned to the door when she opened it. She saw it on their faces, something she hadn't seen in a long time, or at least that specific facial expression. It made her feel like she was a kid again and so were they. It made her feel like she should run over to them and tackle them into a hug, only to fall into the dirt then all stand up laughing. Then they'd go to their favorite tree while Devit and Jasdero tried to keep the bugs away from her while she ran screaming from said bugs.

"Raina?" their voices brought her out of her thoughts.

"Uh...Oh...Sorry. I was thinking about something" She walked over to them and sat on the bed in between them, where she felt safe. They took her hands and she let them. Their hands were warm again and it made her happy. She smiled and she looked at Fae who looked up at her. Fae was biting her lip though.

"Raina. The Earl caught me in the hall and told me he wanted to talk to you. He's probably expecting you down-" she was cut off as the Earl walked in. "Earl! I was just about to send Raina to you" She said, her voice almost sounding like she was apologizing.

"No need Fae" He seemed pleased by the tone of his voice. His eyes turned to Raina. "You should be preparing for your wedding. It'll be at least another day and a half before these two are well enough to leave their room yet." She held her breath, stiffening. Was he going to send her away from them? She glanced at Devit and Jasdero and could see their eyes were focused on the Earl too. "So I'm pushing your wedding back a few days. That gives you twelve days until you'll be married."

"Oh...is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked.

"Yes. Don't you want your wedding pushed back? I figured it'd be a sort of treat for you...You did come out here without hesitation to make sure Jasdevi was alright" He actually seemed to be in a really good mood. "Besides, the more time you have to prepare, the better the wedding will be"

"Uh...T...thank you."

"I want you to remain here until they are good enough to move around on their own again. Then you'll be taken home. Don't worry, I have everything about your home and any visitors that may arrive taken care of" She nodded, surprised that the Earl was doing so much for her. Was he in a good mood or something? Did something happen for his benefit?

"Thank you" She said again, bowing her head slightly. She heard him leave and only raised her head when he was gone, a sigh heaving from her body. "Well, at least the wedding is pushed back for a few days" She said, some relief in your voice.

"Oh Raina, you're the only girl I ever heard of not being excited to marry" Fae huffed from her seat, tossing her hair our of her face.

"Well Fae...I can't help it. I don't love him after all" A frown showed on her lips and she glanced at Devit and then at Jasdero. They were silent, looking like they were thinking. She gripped their hands a little tighter. "We'll figure this out somehow" She promised them and they nodded lightly, agreeing with her. There had to be a way to figure this out. She just hoped that with whatever happened, she would still have the twins beside her.

* * *

Alright~! Another chapter out! So soon? Well actually this chapter was almost done when I finally got to publish the last one. I actually planned this one to have more happen in it, but I didn't want it to be too awfully long, so I cut it a bit short. Don't worry, I'll get to it all in the next chapter~! As always, leave me those reviews!


	11. Golden Gun

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Golden Gun**

She stayed with them two more days. It took about two more days before Devit could walk without a limp or leaning on her and two days before Jasdero could get up and move around on his own. They still had their wounds. The Innocence had hurt them bad. She mostly re-bandaged them herself. They seemed more comfortable if she did it instead of the Akuma. Actually, she was checking the wound on Devit's arm. It was thinner now, shorter, but it was going to leave a scar. She traced her finger lightly down it and he moved it away from her.

"Sorry"

"It doesn't hurt" He muttered the words, as if he didn't really mean them. Maybe he did, but it hardly mattered.

"Let me put the bandages on it" She started to pick up the strip of white, clean bandages but he shook his head. "What? Let me put the bandages on Devit!"

"I don't need them anymore." He picked up his shirt and pulled it over his head and then slipped on his coat. "I gotta take you back to your place anyway. You have ten days till you're going to be..._married_" He made it sound like a dirty word. She sighed and dropped her hands into her lap, glaring at him. Jasdero was off getting a bath to wash up his wounds and that left the two of them to bicker in peace.

"Would you have such objections if I were marrying you?" She snapped, feeling grumpy. She didn't want to get married – she really didn't. She probably hated that she was getting married more than him, but there was nothing she nor he could do about it. It was better to just accept their fate and get over themselves. He seemed struck into silence by her words and just stared at her.

"It'd be _me_ though. You know _me_. We've been friends since we were kids Rain. You know _me_. You don't know him." His tone was serious, he was being serious. She looked away from him now, frowning.

"You've grown up"

Now he looked away too, and though she couldn't see, his face annoyed. She wouldn't have said those words if she would have know that it would annoy him. But she meant them, he had grown up. She had noticed before but had never said anything to him before.

"Did you expect me to stay a kid forever?" He asked. His tone was controlled, she could hear it. She looked at him now, wanting him to meet his eyes. "I couldn't stay some stupid little kid anymore. After you...you got hurt I had to learn to protect you. From everything, everyone and even yourself. It was hard on all of Rain."

"I'm sorry" She said, "But I never...did expect you stay a kid forever. At least I hoped that you wouldn't stay an asshole forever" A hint of joking laced her voice. He looked at her then, his golden eyes snapping to her violet ones.

"I wasn't an asshole throughout my whole childhood" His voice didn't sound hurt, but she could hear the playful tone in it.

"Well Devit, that depends on who you're asking." She said. He grabbed her and pulled her into his lap before he flopped back on the bed, his hands on her waist, holding her there. She cried out in surprise, and probably would have hit him if he wasn't still hurt.

"I don't care what other people think of me" He said, his voice matter-of-factly. "I only care what you and Jas think of me. That's it. No one else"

"Well, Jasdero is your twin. You two are gonna care about each other no matter what" she said simply. "Just like me and Fae. Sure shes crazy and tried to kill me, but she still cares about me" He laughed and she smiled.

"I think we're all a little mad here. Every single one of us." he sighed, his fingers running up and down her lower back, as if trying to calm her or himself. She sat there watching him. His golden eyes were focused on some distant point to the left of them. He appeared to be thinking about something pretty hard, or at least trying to sort something out in his head so she stayed quiet. After a few minutes she traced her pale hands against his cheek, making him look at her.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Not really" He answered with a grimace. "In ten days your going to be with someone other than me. I don't like it. I'm jealous already. He's giving you stuff." He looked at the necklace that still laid against her soft skin. She never took if off from the point he gave it to her. She touched it now.

"Its not like I like it" She said simply. "He just does it. It's annoying. I don't want it" She took her other hand and touched the one ring on her middle finger, reminding Devit that she still wore his gift. He focused on the rings for a moment before turning his face away and covering his eyes with his one arm, his hand stilling on her back.

"I don't want to give you to him" His arm wrapped around her waist. He held her tight. "This isn't fair! Why do I have to...Why? Why do you have to marry him?" She sat there, silent, unsure of what to tell him, what to say to him to comfort him.

"I don't love him" it was the only thing she could offer. It was the only thing she could think to say. She knew it wasn't enough. "I love you Devit. You know, you know I don't want this." she wanted to figure something else out but nothing else came to mind. She carefully removed Devit's arm from her waist and moved until she could pull him up onto her lap and then into her arms. She held him and he let her. She laid her head on top of his and worked on breathing softly and slowly, trying to be calm so he would calm down. She just wanted this to be okay.

Not that Devit would ever tell anyone, probably not even her, but that was what he needed. He needed to be close to her. To listen to her heartbeat and her slow, calm breathing. He lay in her arms, his head resting against her chest and he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding himself there. A part of him didn't want let go of her – ever. The rest of him knew that she was something he was going to have to let go of for a little while when she got _married_. He didn't want to, not ever, not now.

He gave a shuddering sigh and he felt her brush her fingers through his hair and make a soft comforting sound. He wasn't really used to be too upset by things. He hardly ever cried. The only real times he could remember crying was if Jasdero was really hurt or if Raina was. They were the ones he loved and cared about. They were his family. He never said it, but that also meant they were his lifeline. If anything happened to either of them...

He knew he'd die. He knew a part of him would just break off and die. He didn't care for many people at all. Okay, so maybe he did like Tyki and Fae when she was being helpful, but that was it. No one else, but he didn't even like those two that much. Tyki was annoying and bossy sometimes and thought that his power meant that he could walk through doors without knocking which really pissed Devit off sometimes. Fae on the other hand was usually pretty calm and the only thing about her was her stupid wind. When ever she got pissed, she felt it was her right to blow everyone else onto their asses. He sighed, not wanting to think about this anymore. He glanced up at Raina.

She looked so peaceful at the moment. He almost forgot that she had been hurt until she saw a flash of her pale skin marred by the fiery scars that she would carry forever.

"Rain" He said softly and she glanced down at him. "Let's take a nap" He suggested. He wasn't tired, but...he felt like sleeping would be good for him at the moment.

"Don't you want to wait till Jasdero is back?" She asked. He shook his head.

"Jas will come lay down too when he comes back" He said simple and she shrugged, letting him go so she could lay down comfortably. Once she had, he curled up against her, for once wanting the comfort of being held. She did it without complaint and he actually fell asleep within a few minutes.

_It was snowing and it was beautiful. She loved the snow and it reminded her of her childhood with them, the times she was with them when it had snowed, their glee at being able to have snowball fights and make snowmen. _

_This was a gentle type of snow but it did stick to the already frozen earth. She figured that maybe soon she'd be able to run through the snow with them once again. Maybe soon, maybe as soon as tomorrow. The thought brought a smile to her cold lips._

_The field was bare of anything but long dormant grass, awaiting Spring's touch, but it didn't bother her. It was beautiful in its own way. Her hands were not cold because they held her hands in theirs, tightly. She was happy to be with them, happy to be there if only because of them._

_There was a sound, an angry sound, one that filled her with fear and then they let go and stepped away. She reached for them, just as she always did. Their guns were out and she could see black figures around them, she yelled, trying to get them to run, to leave this place with her. They told her to run, alone, and she wanted to but she would not leave them. She could not leave them._

_There was a gun shot, a loud blast that she heard and focused on. She felt the blood hit her face as one was hit and he fell to the ground, golden eyes shocked. _

"_No!" her cry was of denial. "No!"_

_Her own eyes were wide with shock and she should wiped the warm blood off her face but she could do nothing but sink to the ground with them and hold them in her arms, tears running down her face. She couldn't see their face, but it didn't matter. She loved them both. They touched her face, smearing their own blood across her cheek. She felt her tears mix with the blood and both ran down her cheek, dripping onto their face._

_The white snow was turning red, red with his blood, dripping so hot onto her hands, keeping them warm and away from the cold. They were smiling, as if they had something very good to tell her. She didn't want to hear it, she never wanted to hear it._

_"It...it...was su...supposed to be y..ou" they whispered, their breath gasping. She screamed her denial again, unable to face the truth. Their eyes closed, she knew they would not open again._

_The snow continued to fall._

She screamed when she woke up, a wordless scream full of fear and her body jolted back to life. She couldn't bolt up, something was pinning her down. She just lay the for a moment until the person pinning her down moved and leaned up.

"Rain?" His voice was groggy. The sound of his voice made tears flood her eyes. Before he could object or talk further, she buried her face in his chest and sobbed. "Raina?" Now his voice was a bit more alarmed.

"Devi...? I-is something wrong?" The extremely groggy voice of Jasdero reached her ears. She took a shuddering breath, trying to pull herself together, trying to push the nightmare from her head. Not all of it stuck but certain parts...

"Raina had a nightmare. She'll be okay" Devit said softly. "I'll handle it, go back to sleep Jas" It surprised Raina that Devit just knew. Then she knew she shouldn't be surprised. She started pulling herself together, the fear starting to fade. She felt Devit's arms around her keeping her safe. She was safe and so were they. She kept her head against his chest, listening to his – and Jasdero's – breathing. She used it to calm herself, just as she had tried to calm Devit with her own slow, steady breathing. It worked. Soon the tears stopped.

"You okay?" Devit asked.

"Y...yeah. Sorry" she whispered.

"Don't be." He held her close and she squirmed up until she could meet his eyes with her own. She looked at him for a long moment.

"I'm glad you're here" She muttered.

"I'm glad you're glad" His tone was warm. She closed her eyes. "Get some sleep Raina. I'll be here if you have anymore nightmares"

"Thanks" She snuggled against him, happy to feel safe, happy to know that he cared about her so much. He didn't often show his feelings. She was glad that for once, he showed them. They all lay there for a long time, none of them sleeping. They just too comfort in each other's company. They had all taken their nap, but Raina's nightmare had woken them all up. Jasdero was trying to go to sleep. Raina knew that, but he sighed after a while and rolled onto his side, facing Raina's back. She rolled onto her back so she could see bother of them.

"You have to go soon" Jasdero said softly.

"I do" she answered

"And we spent most of our time sleeping" Devit grumbled

"We did" she sighed. They lay there together a while longer and then Raina sighed and sat up. She knew her hair was tangled. "Jasdero? Will you comb my hair for me?" She asked. She always liked when he combed her hair. She never felt him pull or hurt her as he easily glided through the tangles. Both the twins sat up groggily.

"I gotta go get my brush from the bathroom" He said, standing. She noticed that he was shirtless, his wound not bandaged and she had to look away. "I'll be right back" He walked out of the room, closing it softly behind him. She shuddered lightly, not wanting to think about the wound on his chest or how much it looked like the one that nearly killed them. She felt Devit's arms around her. He pulled her close and held her.

"He's not going to die you know" he said softly. She didn't look at him, just kept her head against his chest.

"I know, but it reminds me of a time where I _thought_ you both were going to die on me" She muttered. She knew he'd hear her anyway. He had good hearing. He also just seemed to know sometimes. She wracked that up with him having to take care of her so long.

"Its going to be okay"

"Just stop getting hurt." Her voice was nearly begging. She just wanted them to be more careful, not that they were ever really careful, but she wished they'd be. She didn't like when they got hurt.

"Rain, we heal fast" He said, with a roll of his eyes. She didn't see it but she knew he did it. She looked up at him, frowning.

"I know, but I don't like it when you get hurt"

"I don't like it when you get hurt" He stated her sentence right back to her and she sighed, crossing her arms.

"I don't get hurt much anymore." She grumbled.

"But you did get hurt, really bad." He pushed the sleeve of the gown she was wearing up to show her scars. "You could have died Rain...There was a lot of blood" She looked into his eyes and saw fear, very real, for her life. He still had it and she realized the events of that day weren't just scars on her body, but it became a scar on his heart. A fear that she would die on him.

"I won't die on you Devit" She said the words like a promise. It was as if she was promising him that she wasn't going to die. She almost was. Her plan didn't include her dying. He pressed his lips against her forehead.

"I hope you keep that promise" He muttered against her skin. She placed her hands on the side of his face and made him look her in the eye. She waited a moment, so he could see the truthfulness in her eyes, she the promise and the determination.

"I won't" She said simple. "Let's not think about this, it's depressing" She only sad that because of the sadness so clear in his eyes. Instead of answering her, he kissed her. It started innocent, but she wasn't one to let them stay innocent if they didn't have to. He pulled her closer in response and then she sighed as his breath touched her lips but he gave a cry of pain and pulled away from her.

"Jas! What the hell?" He growled, rubbing her head. She covered her mouth to suppress her laughter. It seemed Jasdero had hit his brother on the head with his brush. Jasdero looked slightly annoyed and he didn't answer until he had crawled onto the bed and situated himself behind her, his comb running through her hair.

"None of that while I'm combing Rai's hair" He said stubbornly. She finally laughed but coughed part way though to stop laughed. Devit sighed and got up.

"I'm gonna get a shower then. Jeeze, hittin' me on the head. Wasn't necessary at all" He grumbled, as he walked out the room. As soon as the door was closed, Raina started laughing and Jasdero did too. They managed to calm themselves within a few minutes and Jasdero started combing her hair again.

"That wasn't very nice Jasdero" She said, her voice soft.

"It wasn't. But it was funny." She knew from his tone that he was grinning, clearly enjoying the fact that he got his brother. She rolled her eyes lightly at him. Even though they still had their wounds, they were still playful as ever. She loved that childish part of them, seeing as something vibrant and alive. It was something she could look at and hope that she could mimic herself. "How are you now Raina? Is your nightmare still bothering you?" he asked softly.

"Not really. I can't really remember the details" Other than the fact that she knew she had the nightmare before. Every time she had it, there was more detail, more for her to think about afterwards. She didn't like to think about it afterwards, it always scared her. She wished she could just forget everything, all of it.

"It's just a dream Raina, it can't hurt you"

"But it feels so real" Her whisper almost came out as a whimper. Jasdero kept brushing her hair and she almost found it calming. She sighed and just let the silence relax her for the moment. "Do you think we'll be okay?" She asked softly

"Yeah, of course we will. We'll protect you Raina"

"But I want to be able to protect you back" she grumbled. "Its not fair with you and Devit always protecting me now. I want to be able to protect you guys too."

"We don't need you to protect us."

"You obviously do since guys got so banged up. Jasdero, you could have _died_" She said it, she had already said it a dozen times to them, but she felt he needed a real wake up call. "Do you know what would have happened to me if you two had died? I'd never have gotten better then. I'd never want to. I love you guys. I have my sister, sometimes and if I wanted to, I could go see my grandmother and grandfather. I have you guys right here though and you two have been my rock, keeping me here and as myself for the last year. You guys _can't_ die on me. I couldn't handle it. I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

Jasdero was silent, the brush still. She sat there. He wrapped his arms around her and she felt his head nestled against her back. "I'm sorry" His voice was soft. "I'll make sure me and Devi are more careful. I'll make sure we don't die"

They sat there for a long moment and she felt him shudder and then go back to combing her hair. After a long moment, the combing stopped and she could feel him doing something with her hair, styling it probably. She never minded when Jasdero played with her hair. He was the only reason she hadn't cut it short yet. A few minutes later, Devit came back, a towel in his hand as he rubbed it on his messy black hair, trying to dry it. She watched him with her eyes and he came to sit next to her.

"You gotta get dressed" He told her.

"I'm not done with her hair" Jasdero said then and Devit glanced back at his brother.

"Hurry up" His voice didn't really sound like he wanted Jasdero to hurry and Jasdero didn't. Devit went around the room, doing something but she didn't watch him. Then Jasdero stood too, moving to help his brother.

"I'll go get changed" she said softly, but she wasn't sure either of them had heard her.

As soon as Raina left the room, Jasdero stood up and looked at him. "What are you looking for?"

"Our spare gun" He answered in an even tone. He dug through their things. Yeah, they had three maybe four guns. They had extra ones laying around their rooms. It was in case they ever broke theirs, they were taken or otherwise lost. Not that they exactly knew where their other guns were. They didn't have bullets with them, they didn't need them, but a gun in itself was threatening. If she just pointed it at someone, he was sure they'd back off. She wanted to defend herself – or at least feel like she was – then he was going to let her, somewhat.

"Why are you looking for our gun?" asked Jasdero, clearly not knowing his intent.

"For Raina. That way she can somewhat threaten people if they try to threaten her" He explained.

"But we don't have any bullets to give her" Jasdero clearly didn't like the idea from his tone – bullets or no bullets.

"Ah! Here it is" He picked up the thing. It still looked in pretty good condition. "And I know. A gun can be threatening in soft hands"

"And Rai has soft hands"

"I would know" Devit flashed his twin a grin and Jasdero eyed the hair brush as if he was thinking of getting it to hit Devit again. "Sorry, sorry" He amended before Jasdero really did hit him again. Then he moved the gun around in his hands a little. "I hope it keeps her safe though. I mean, I don't think she'll be in any trouble before and after her wedding, but she could be"

"I don't want her to get married" Jasdero sounded like he was pouting.

"I don't either" Devit said honestly going to the bed to sit down. Jasdero joined him. "I don't think there;s much we can do" He grimaced, hating that he felt so useless. Jasdero seemed hesitant to speak and if Devit had been anyone else, he wouldn't have noticed how his brother wanted to speak. "What is it?"

"What if...what if we try to stall it?" His voice was soft and for a moment, Devit didn't get what he was saying but when he did, an idea sparked but he quelled that spark as quickly as it had appeared.

"If we were to get caught, we'd be in so much trouble" He knew that his voice sounded like he didn't care. Did he care? He wasn't sure. If that meant pushing the wedding off a little more, then maybe, maybe it might be canceled for good and Raina would still be his – wholly and only his.

"We probably won't be" Jasdero pointed out and Devit nodded.

"Alright" They had to shut up because Raina came in the room. Devit scrunched his face up at her clothing. She was only wearing the dress that would be buried beneath all of the other tops and dresses she wold have to put on to be called "decent".

"It was all too thick and you'd have a hard time carrying me. Its not cold out or so I've been told, I'll be fine"She looked at the gun in his hand. "Why do you have your gun out?"

"Its not mine. Its yours." He held it out to her and she looked at him funny. "Take it. There are no bullets so you can't hurt yourself or anyone, but it'll look threatening" She took it slowly from his hands. "You know how to hold it right?" He asked her then and he stood, to her hands in his and put them on the gun, in the right places. "Then all you do is point it at a person. You won't be able to really hurt them, but hopefully it keeps them away"

"Why?" her voice was low, her gun still held, almost as if she were pointing it at him

"I want you to be safe" She lowered the gun then.

"I have no where to hold it until we get back"

"Stick it in your boot. I'll be uncomfortable, but it'll conceal it." She did as he said and when she stood up, he hugged her tightly for a long moment before lifting her into his arms. "Coming Jas?" Both the brothers hurried down the hall and out the door of the manor. They passed Fae and Tyki as they did. Fae was watching them with almost resentful eyes – or was Devit just imagining that? - while Tyki's eyes locked with Raina for a moment and then the two others were gone.

They didn't hurry to Raina's manor but when they got there, they dropped her off just inside the front doors. Devit kissed her and Jasdero hugged her and then they hurried off to formulate their own plans.

Raina stood alone just inside the doors of her manor. She knew there were probably Akuma running around, doing things and she could talk to one of them, but she didn't want to. She was going to go to her room when she heard a knock on the front door and then the door was opened by someone. She turned to see Adam. She didn't want to deal with him, so throwing him a quick dirty look, she went to walk away.

"Where are you going?" His voice was aggressive to say the least. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back, grabbing her other arm them. "Where do you think you've been?" He asked. She could smell something sour on his breath, it made her nose wrinkle.

"Let go of me" She stated, trying to pull back.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He pushed her then and she landed on the ground. She tried to get up and flee before he could do anything else, say anything else, but he grabbed her again and pulled her up to her feet. She struggled harder this time. "Stop moving!" Then she felt the back of his hand connect with her cheek with enough force to make her lose her balance and fall down. He still had her arm and he tugged her up to her feet again. "Don't think I'm done with you. You're mine and you're not to leave me like that again, you hear me? You do and there'll be a good punishment waiting for you"

"You asshole!" She spit, hitting him hard enough in the chest to make him stumble back, but his nails were digging into her skin, making her nerves scream and sadly he didn't let go when stumbled, pulling her with him. "You let me go right now!"

He threw her to the ground and she fell hard. Her back, her chest, her arms and wrists all hurt, it was almost like going back to when she first got the wound. She could hardly move her upper body, but she could hear him walking closer. Thinking fast she drew the gun from her boot and pointed it at him. He stopped, hesitating now. She let her eyes harden, let him think she would shoot. She kept her arms and wrist stiff, no trembling.

"Come and closer and I'll kill you" She hissed. He laughed at her and she wished there were bullets in the gun so she could put one through his skull.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave, but remember who you belong to" Then he stumbled out the door, smiling like and idiot. She dropped the gun as her arms and wrist were wracked with pain. She managed to stuff it back into her boot, vowing to carry it with her always. She got herself into her room and sat the gun on her bedside table before taking off Adam's damn gift and heaving it across the room. She curled up on her soft bed, letting the tremors of pain wrack her body and make her shake.

She just kept reminding herself _It could have been worse._

* * *

Hurray~ Another chapter done. I'm sure you guys probably saw some of this coming. So there are more nightmares and I'm just starting to dive into Adam's character. And in the next chapter, we'll see if Adam and Raina actually manage to get married or not~ Leave those some reviews and tell me what you thought_, _okay guys?_  
_


	12. Haunted

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Haunted**

The course of the next week made Raina realize things. She realized that Adam wasn't a really nice guy and that even if she didn't love Devit, she'd never love this man. She didn't dread him coming, but she didn't like it either. He gave her more gifts, promised her things – sugar and sweetness to cover up bandages and bruises. When he had hit her, it had bruised lightly, his nails had dug into her skin, leaving tiny crescent cuts on her arm, but they wouldn't scar her skin. Wasn't that lucky for him? She also found out that he had been drunk when he had come to her that day. Not completely wasted, but drunk enough to lose some reason and make stupid mistakes. He remembered though and he was still apologizing with the wedding only three days away. She never told him that she forgave him or any other feelings she might have towards him. When he came around, she shut herself down.

It just became a natural reaction. It wasn't one she could help and she was actually proud of this reaction. She saw how he struggled to have the same reaction with her. He couldn't though. There was always guilt and sadness and mixed feelings in his eyes, even when his face managed to pull into a somewhat uncaring look. His eyes told her too much.

He was there today while she laid on the couch, dressed and ready to go anywhere he would wish to drag her, her hair down and falling around her like a veil. The gun remained in her boot, she always hid it there, although it was really uncomfortable to walk around like that. She didn't care, it was worth it to carry the gun around with her. He never asked her where she had got it from - or had he? She was unsure, but either way she never told him. She watched him, since he was in the room with her, Adam was pacing, like he often did now, like an ant or something...

"I thought the things that were so kindly ordered by your...uh what are they to you again?"

"Might as well call them family" She answered him, looking at her nails. She was of course speaking of the Noah and the Earl. The Earl had so.._kindly_ ordered things for her wedding. They had yet to arrive though, and it was told they'd be there by noon. It was well past one. Raina wasn't too concerned. In fact, she was quite happy that the things weren't there yet. She hoped that they never arrived. It was selfish and a stupid thought, but one she wished would happen.

"Well, either way, they should have been here by now. Oh, I hope that nothing has befallen them. What if the carriage crashed?" He seemed worried for a moment. "I hope the stuff that was ordered is okay" She looked at him with an astonished look.

"What about the people bringing it to us?"

"I'm sure they'll be fine" He waved his hand as if waving off their lives. Raina felt the anger building in her throat. She was about to give him a piece of her mind and tell him to get the hell out of her house when there was a knock on the door. She got up to answer it so she didn't smack Adam instead. He was such a selfish person. She knew that Devit could be selfish but he was such a good person to her. He cared for her and his brother, not just for his own needs.

She opened the door and looked outside to see a young man, probably just a little older than herself, who was holding his arm. There was blood running from it. His face was dark with what appeared to be soot. She stood there horrified for a moment before she pulled him inside and had her sit on the couch she had just been laying on. Adam just stood there, his mouth hanging open like he didn't know what to do. Raina knew what to do at least. She ripped off a part of her dress, the fabric tearing easy and wrapped the man's wound quickly. Not that he would bleed to death anytime soon, but there was already a lot of blood, no need to risk it.

"Ah! Raina, your dress" Adam's reaction was ignored as she set about ordering a near by Akuma, though she remembered to call him Servant instead of Akuma like she usually did, off to get the Akuma that served as a doctor to her.

"You'll be okay sir" She said to the man, a smile on her face. "Just relax. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Yes I can ma'am" He nodded. He groaned then, touching his head.

"Careful sir" She cautioned. "You seem to have hurt more than just your arm"

"It's okay ma'am" He assured her. "Just knocked my head once, I'll be okay" She wanted the doctor to hurry so she could be assured that it was true. "Our carriage was attacked. We didn't even see it comin'. One moment we're fine and then the next our carriage was a wreck of flames, two of horses dead. We all survived. Some of them were so bad that they couldn't move. I sent for help in town but..."

"But what sir? Why did you come here instead of getting the treatment you needed?" She was curious, she wondered why this man would stumble to her house instead of get his arm treated. He could have bled to death.

"Are you Raina Fitzgerald?" he asked and she nodded. "Good, it was the carriage filled with the items for your wedding that we was transporting. I'm sorry. I think nearly everything was destroyed."

"What?" Adam's voice cracked. Raina threw him an angry glare and he shut his mouth.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. Rest. Oh, and here's the doctor" She moved away as the doctor came to look at his wounds. She glared at Adam again as she walked over to stand by him and watch the doctor take care of the poor man's injuries. Once he was treated the doctor walked over to her and him.

"He'd like to be transported to the hospital where all his friends are being treated. He's stable enough for it. Shall I have it done?"

"Yes, as soon as you can" Raina told him and the Doctor nodded. She then walked away with a sigh. Adam followed after her.

"We're going to have push back the date. How long do you think it will take to get the new items in?" He asked. His voice was careful. Maybe he was seeing that he was starting to piss her off. Maybe he was going to try and not do that anymore. That was probably the best idea he could make.

"I don't know. Probably at least three days, if not more. I'd guess five for safety."

"Five days?" he sounded upset, her voice was emotionless. She was thinking of what the man had told her and what might have happened to him and his carriage full of the supplies for her wedding. Fire...Just suddenly their carriage had been on fire. That wasn't something that happened everyday or something she had ever heard of happening.

"Five days" She repeated, remembering that she might want to. Best to get the idea thick into Adam's mind. "I'm going to go contact the family, let them know what has happened" She nearly muttered this and hurried off, away from Adam and the man they were getting ready to transport away. She walked down the hall and found an Akuma cleaning. She touched the creature on the shoulder. "If you could contact the Earl and tell him that the carriage bringing supplies for the Wedding has been destroyed and that the wedding will have to be put off a few days? Please can you do that? Thank you"

She hurried away from the Akuma who was off to follow her orders. She walked up the stairs and to her room. She almost always left her balcony open or at least unlocked. If they ever wanted to come by, they always could. She wished she could have walked in and seen them there waiting for her. Instead her room was empty and she was alone. She walked to the balcony, which she had not left wide open but was anyway and stood, over looking her garden. A light breeze lifted her hair and she smiled.

She was going to make the most out of these extra few days she had been gifted with.

"It won't come off" groaned Jasdero.

"That's cuz you're not washing your face right" Devit sighed, rubbing the clean water in the creek against his face. The soot slowly dribbled off into the water. He rubbed more water onto his face, getting off more soot. He then helped Jasdero a bit and they dried off their faces.

"That went better than planned" Jasdero pointed out.

"It did. I'm surprised we managed to _not_ kill anyone." He didn't care either way. He still held little value for the lives of humans. He'd never say it out loud anymore. Raina would probably yell at him for it and be pissed with him for a while. He didn't want to deal with it that badly so instead he just kept his thoughts on humans to himself. His thoughts on Exorcists however had changed. He hated them but...Every time he fought them, he saw Raina, her Innocence glorious and deadly at the same time. It had looked amazing, but it had been something that disgusted him. He had mixed feelings on her Innocence, but he had loved her. She was the part that mattered to him. Not the tool she used, just her.

He sighed. He looked up though. Speaking of Innocence, he felt it. It was close. He grabbed his golden gun and rose without a sound, Jasdero doing the same. There was a rustle in the trees that directed his eyes up and he saw an Exorcist – one he actually recognized – drop from the trees. The Exorcist was the one they thought they had killed. He had red hair and an eye patch and in his left hand was a giant hammer. He smiled at them, as if they were old friends. The twins stayed silent and tense.

"No worries" The Exorcist held up his hands. "I come in peace" He then seemed to realize the Innocence in his hands. He twirled the hammer and it shrank. He tucked it away into a pouch at his side. "I come as a Bookman, not as an Exorcist"

"Bookeman?" Devit questioned. Of course he knew what the Bookmen were and...Ah, he remembered this one. "Alright. What do you want?" He put his gun away, Jasdero hesitantly did the same. Jasdero seemed more cautious. He glanced back at his brother whose eyes darted around, as if looking for others and Devit gave a small nod. "Wait, before you answer that – Is there anyone else with you?"

"Not that I'm awa-" He hadn't even gotten the entire sentence out of his mouth when the air next to him wavered to show a girl with dark hair and bright eyes. Devit remembered her...she had been sleeping on the street. The Finder took her away when Tyki was fighting Raina. That memory seemed to be forever ago though..."Ghost!"

"Sorry Lavi" She said quickly. "I thought you were gonna go see Raina. I heard you and Bookman talking about her"

"How did...Your Innocence!" Lavi seemed upset. He sighed and turned to Devit and Jasdero again. "Ghost means no harm. She was close to Raina because she saved her."

"Is it true? Is she still alive? Please tell me she is!" Ghosts hands were clasped in front of her chest, as if she might be praying for what she wanted to be true. Devit looked at Jasdero. What were they to say? If the Order found out that Raina was alive...If they found out where she lived... "I swear I won't tell a soul, not even Lenalee or Jerry"

Okay, so they didn't know who the two of those people were but now the twins both glanced at Lavi. Maybe he would give them some sort of sign to tell or not tell this kid. If they gave a sign to not tell her, they were going to chase her away, otherwise...Well, it wasn't like they were going to tell her much else other than Raina was indeed alive. The red head gave them no clue either way though, so they were left guessing if they should tell or not.

"She is" Jasdero said finally. "She's alive"

The girl sighed, looking relieved. "I thought...that she might be dead...It's been over a year and no word or return from her...Her golem is gone so we can't use it to track her and...She's alive" The girl sighed again, brushing her dark hair from her face. "Oh thank you! I suppose you're taking care of her...Oh is she here? Raina? Raina?" Ghost turned and called for her, an expectant look on her face.

"She's not with us" Answered Devit.

"Oh? But..." Her brow wrinkled. "I thought...I thought she stayed with you..."

"Not lately" Devit told her. He didn't feel comfortable telling her this though because well...He didn't want the rest of the Exorcists to find out what she knew about Raina. The girl turned to look at Lavi though.

"Can I see her?" She asked him.

"No" Devit and Jasdero said at the same time. "You don't want to see her"

"She's changed." Devit muttered, but the girl seemed to have heard.

"I don't care! No one will know anything about me visiting her, promise!" The girl seemed so focused on seeing her. "I miss her and I want to see how she's been doing. She was so nice to save me when she didn't have to!"

"She lives up that way" Lavi told her then, pointing. "I'll be up to get you when I'm done here. You'll have a while to get there though. It's a big fancy house. Careful though, her house is filled with Akuma"

"You can't go there!" Devit and Jasdero moved to slip between her and the way to Raina's house. "If the other Exorcists were to find her..." Devit's hand twitched towards his gun again. "You can't go there" He repeated.

"I won't tell anyone!" She repeated.

"She needs to go anyway. We need to talk" Lavi's words brought Devit's gaze to him. "She won't tell a soul about where Raina is. She's a good girl." He glanced at Ghost. "Go" He said in such a way that she disappeared. Devit sensed her moving around them and off towards where Raina was, faster than she should have been able to be moving. Devit wanted to go after her, but he turned to Lavi.

"Fine. What do you want?"

Ghost crept along the edge of the house's wall. It was a pretty big house. Ghost hadn't realized that Raina came from wealth and didn't really care that she did. She moved to the top of the wall, scaling it easily and dropped into the garden. Her Innocence bent around her, reflecting light around her and keeping her from anyone's sights. She glanced up, hearing a soft humming. She blinked for a moment, realizing that the woman on the balcony was Raina. She used her Innocence to change herself. She couldn't change genders or her size too much, but she could make it easier for her to climb up to her.

Her Innocence was complicated. It was like clay, or so she was told. It was embedded into her skin, but seemed to be focused on her arms and legs. She, in essence, was the Innocence. It did as she commanded it to, which meant making her "invisible" or changing her skin tone, hair color and eye color. It could change other things, like her hair length, though she discovered her hair couldn't become longer than she actually had it, and her facial structure couldn't be changed too much. A tweak here or there but that was it. It was useful if she didn't want someone to know what she really looked like. She could change things about her fingers and toes and hands and feet though, which was even more useful.

She pulled herself onto the balcony and stayed invisible, watching Raina for a long moment. Her hair was longer. Her eyes were harder too. She also saw something underneath that – fear? She was unsure and then she let herself become visible. Raina jumped away from her and her one arm hit the railing hard. She cried out in pain and clamped her hand down on it as if she expected it to bleed or something.

"Sorry!" She quickly said. "I just snuck here to see you!"

"I can see that" Hissed Raina. She noticed Raina's arm trembling every few moments, almost violently.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" She was alarmed to say the least. She had never seen someone's arm tremble like that. It didn't look safe or healthy or good. Raina didn't answer her, instead rolling up the sleeve of her dress to show hideous scars on her arms. Ghost gasped loudly and then covered her mouth with her hands, eyes wide with shock. "Oh my!"

"Stop gawking Ghost" Raina sighed. "It's even worse than this" Worse? _Worse?_ How could it be _worse_?

"Oh...oh my...What happened Raina?"

"I destroyed my Innocence – this was the price" She said it so matter-of-factly as she started to rub her arm carefully. The tremors started to slow a little.

"You...Oh...That's why you never came back" She could see why. Raina would have been killed – labeled a Noah and a Traitor and killed. No wonder her boyfriend was so concerned about her. There was no way that she could go back to the Order now. They couldn't find out she was alive either because if they came back here and found this...Well, they'd probably kill her upon seeing her scars. They wouldn't even wait to hear about why or how. She'd just be killed.

"That's why" She said. She stopped rubbing her arm and tucked it against her side. Ghost saw that it was still trembling though. Not was as bad as it had been but it still was. She was worried for Raina though. "How did you find me? I mean, first Lavi and then you...Jeeze, talk about my past haunting me"

"Is that all we are now? Your past?" She asked, her voice slightly hurt. She couldn't believe that Raina would say that!

"No, but you should be. I am not an Exorcist anymore – I never will be. I don't...I don't know why you guys insist on coming to find me!" She sounded confused, but like she accepted her path. She accepted the fact that she was no longer an Exorcist, that she was just...just...Just what? What was she if she wasn't an Exorcist or a Noah? A human? Was that all that Ghost could call her now? A human? But this was the woman who had saved her life just over a year ago. She had saved her and now...Ghost felt tears prick her eyes.

"Ghost?"

She realized she was crying. She wiped at the tears. "I'm sorry I...I'm sorry we couldn't save you" She didn't know why she was crying but she wished, she wished so much that she could have done something to changed what happened, something that still would have let Raina remain with Devit, but let her stay happy with her Innocence, avoid the horrid scars and her disappearance. She'd be happy and she'd be whole and...and... "Sorry...I wish...I wish we could have...that something...that I could help you..."

Raina sighed and looked back over the balcony, leaning against it and staring into the distance. "You know, when I was a little girl...my mother tried to engage me to different boys my age. I always told her 'Mama, I want to fall in love, like you and papa did!'. She told me that someday, I'd love the man I was marrying." She sighed and blinked hard, like she was fighting tears herself. Ghost watched her from where she was, wiping at her own tears. "I'm getting married soon and not to Devit. I'm being forced to marry someone I don't love – that I'll never love"

"Why?"

"Because I have to. Sometimes we never have a choice, Ghost..."

"But we...we always do! You _chose_ to destroy your Innocence. You _chose_ to love Devit rather than leave him! You _chose_ him! You have to kept choosing him! You can't let this other man come between you! It's not right! You don't love him!" She spoke loudly, strongly. She believed this. Raina looked at her, her long silver-blonde hair framing her shocked face. Her eyes were wide with the shock and then they softened, looked hopeful.

"You really think so?" she asked. "I hope I can. But it's hard when such a strong hand is trying to control you. I'm trying to stay loyal to him and only him. I love him... but I fear for our future together"

"I'll help you if I can"

"No" Raina turned to fully face her. "Don't. Just...just stay with the Order Ghost. Don't follow my footsteps. Make your own path and don't follow anyone else's. Just...just take care of yourself, okay?"

"Why do you say that like this is goodbye?" Asked Ghost. She looked at Raina for a very long moment and then she turned to back inside her home.

"Because it is. You can never come back here. Go back to the Order. Don't come back Ghost – never, ever. If you got caught here, they would kill you. You need to leave and never come back – ever." She said the words with a type of distance in her voice that came from her seemingly being used to telling people goodbye. Ghost could hear the sadness in her voice too though. She bit her lip. She didn't want to leave but...

"Take care of yourself Raina..." She decided to just agree with her because arguing with Raina would just be tiresome. She would just say she would stay away but she'd make sure Lavi kept her informed. He had to – she knew now and she owed it Raina to help her anyway she could. She hurried from Raina's house and back towards Lavi, invisible again. She glanced back once to see Raina still on her balcony.

She looked like she was crying.

"So can you two remember that?" asked Lavi, looking at the two brothers.

"Yeah, yeah...Got it" Devit seemed to be grouchy and Lavi figured it was just the things he had told him, the questions he had asked. Sure he was asking Devit to remember something, but it was just an old record that Bookman had told him to tell the two males.

"Remember not to talk about it though – not yet. I don't know how..."

"We won't" It was Jasdero that spoke this time. He seemed tense. They both were.

"Hey, things will be okay!" throwing false cheer into his voice, a fake smile. It even touched his eyes like it should.

"That is _not_ okay" Devit snapped at him "I can't believe -"

"Hey, it only happened once. Doesn't mean it will happened again and besides, the circumstances are different this time around. She'll be okay." He didn't know why he tried to comfort them with fluffy, happy words, but he did. Maybe he didn't want them running back to warn her of something that _may_ happen to her, of something that had only happened to _one_ person and things had been very different for them. He was pretty sure she was safe – pretty sure – though not completely.

"She better be" Devit's voice was a threatening growl, as if Lavi telling them all of this could actually change what happened to her.

"Look, I told you so that you could try and help her if it did start happening. I came here to _help_ you." He pointed out. He didn't know why he had to help them though. Bookman seemed to know something, but of course that old Panda knew something. He always knew something and that was why he sent Lavi to do his work for him. Though Bookman was getting old and he really did understand why he was sent out instead. "So don't threaten me"

Devit made an annoyed sound and turned away from him. He could see his hand shaking though, he had glimpsed the fear – too real – in his eyes. He could Jasdero was scared too and for good reason. They should be scared. He knew he would be if he were them. As it was, he was keeping his feeling neutral. He was a Bookman today.

"Is that it?" asked Devit

"Yeah, that's it, why?"

He glanced up towards Raina's place. "I feel her coming back. She' still far away, but I can feel the Innocence moving." Then he he looked at Lavi again, his golden eyes hard. "Thanks, I guess." Then he and his brother moved, dashing away, faster than a human was supposed to able to run. He supposed they weren't humans though.

He waited where he was, he had to wait a while, but that was okay. He would wait for Ghost where he was so he could think. She didn't know what he had told the twin Noah. If...if she did...she probably would have told Raina. He didn't know how she'd react, not really. Even though he said she hadn't changed, there was a small part of her that had, a tiny part that was a piece of her core. It had been twisted by her losses and now...Well he was gonna have to guess how she'd react to this news.

A part of him hoped that everything would be alright though. He knew, after everything that they had been through, they really deserved a happy ending.

* * *

Short and it took me a long time to get this chapter out. My life has kinda been focused on other things lately and with the weather getting nicer, I've been spending more time away from my computer of late. It felt weird to write so much from everyone else's perspective other than Raina and Devit's. But I feel it was refreshing as well. The next chapter should be longer, as I have plans for it. Yes, that's right, I'm hoping the lovely Wedding will be in the next chapter. Will everyone make it out alive? Well you're going to have to wait to find out ^w^

Leave me some reviews like you always guys always do~


	13. The Wedding

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
The Wedding**

"Two weeks late! My, my, it almost seems as though her wedding is cursed!" Fae paced in front of Tyki who was lounging on her bed. He watched her, golden eyes following her body as she walked those few feet then spun on her here, walked back, spun again. She repeated this over and over, looking troubled. He sighed and she stopped. "What?"

"You're driving me insane. Stop pacing"

She stayed where she was, watching him and then she sighed, glancing down. "I'm worried. I feel like something bad is going to happen"

"Nothing bad is going to happen" His voice was soft and comforting. He motioned for her to join him and she did. She curled up against him. She was much smaller than him and it was easy for her to curl up against him. He wrapped an arm around her, holding her close.

"I still think something terrible is going to happen" her voice was soft. He sighed, his breath ruffling her hair. He rubbed a hand comfortingly against her spine.

"Sh...Nothing bad is going to happen"

That day.

It was _that_ day.

It had been held off so long...She sighed. She thought it would never come...hoped it would never come. It had anyway. She cursed and closed her eyes. She opened them, looking into the mirror. They were having the wedding at a grand church. There were rooms upstairs for both the bride and groom to get ready. She was in her room, sitting on a chair, looking into a mirror as her sister skillfully did her hair. She wasn't in her dress yet. Eve hadn't showed up with said dress.

"Ah...where is she?" asked Fae. She was wearing a black wig this time, hair just a bit longer than her own. It was tied up and styled wonderfully. She looked beautiful. At least Raina thought she did. She looked at her own reflection. Her sister was doing her hair in some complex up-do, letting some of her hair fall to brush against her neck.

"Ah! Is this the Bride's room?" asked a voice. Raina groaned. It was Eve.

"Yes! It is!" Fae called and Eve came in, closing the door behind her. She looked at the work that Fae was doing on Raina's hair. She nodded.

"That will look splendid with this dress!" Fae smiled at her. "Are you helping with the wedding?" Fae just nodded. "Good, good. I'll get ready to get her into this dress." Fae nodded again, starting to weave the veil into Raina's hair as well. It would trail down most her back and blend into the dress. She then had her stand and they walked over to Eve.

"Let's get this off you" Fae said, pulling the dress she had worn there off of her, leaving her only in her undergarments. "Alright! Let's get this dress on her!" She sounded so excited. Raina sighed. Might as well get it on and get through this damn day.

"Were they here...I mean when you got here?" She asked. Fae glanced up at her. She looked odd with dark hair.

"No" she answered.

"Do you know where they are?"

"No"

Raina glanced towards the window, a frown on her lips. Where were they? They wouldn't leave her alone on her Wedding day would they?

The twins had just arrived not too long ago. They were dressed up. Fancy shirt, overcoats, dark pants and even decent shoes. They were here early because all of the Noah were expected to help out in some way. It sucked. Devit hated it. Jasdero hated it just as much. They pouted as they helped around or directed Akuma to do different things. They were standing outside, taking a break, and looking at the outside of the grand church. Devit was spaced out, thinking of burning the place and Jasdero was hoping he wouldn't have to restrain his brother when someone tapped their shoulders.

"Excuse me? Is there where Miss Fitzgerald will be getting married?"

They almost didn't know how to answer.

"Ow! Dammit! Not so tight!" Raina cried, turning to look down at Eve. She was behind her, tightening up the dress around her waist. She was trying to give her that "perfect female form" look with the thin waist and all. It was uncomfortable and hard to breathe because of the tightness.

"Now, now!" Eve chided "A Lady mustn't curse on her Wedding day!"

Raina sighed at her, crossing her arms at her chest. Fae moved them and gave her a solid glare. "We're trying to make it fit right. You've lost weight you know. Aren't you eating right?"

"I forget to eat" She grumbled. She actually hadn't been very hungry. With her nerves strung tight as they were, she had forgotten to eat sometimes. Actually, on most days she ate one meal a day, either lunch or dinner with some tea in between. She hadn't wanted much more than that. Eve and Fae sighed at the same time.

"Really, Raina" Fae said with obvious disapproval "How do you ever expect to bear children with you being so tiny?"

"W-what?" She cried. She wanted to jerk away from both of them but managed to stay still. They both gave her questioning looks. She could see Fae's but could only feel Eve's. She felt her face work up into a bright blush. Why would she _ever_ want to have that asshole's children?

"Don't you know? It'll be expected of you since you're _marrying_ him. In fact, most people will probably expect the two of you to have one child by the time you've been married a year" Eve explained softly. She knew Raina's situation after all. Raina lowered her head, biting her lip. "There. Is that too tight?" She asked and Raina shook her head.

"You look beautiful" Fae said softly, stepping back from her. Raina looked at her for a moment. "Come on, you have to see" She grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the mirror again. She stood there with her. Raina looked at her reflection and she wanted to cry. She managed not. "Don't you think you look beautiful?"

"No" She answered and she meant it honestly. "Cover the mirror" And she turned away from it, pulling herself away from her sister. She walked across the room and looked at her gloved hands. Gloved because they didn't want anyone to see the horrible scars on her body. She frowned, clenching her fists. She hated this. She wanted to hit something, hard. Really hard. She wanted...God she wanted to do something about this anger she was holding in her chest. She hated this whole situation but...but...

_They_ were the ones she cared about. If she didn't do this _they_ would suffer. She closed her eyes, forcing the tears back.

"Raina?" She turned her head towards Eve when she spoke. "We need to finish your makeup."

"Of course" She muttered and she walked over to the now covered mirror and sat down on the chair in front of it. She was silent the entire time they did her make up, but then again she had nothing left to say.

Fae and Eve finished up their work. They looked her over, made more adjustments to her clothes and checked the time. Eve sighed. "Right on time. Wonderful! Come along Raina, its time for the finishing touch and then you walk down the aisle."

They both grabbed her arms and started to pull her up and towards the other side of the room. She went with them, a frown on her lips. Why? Why did she have to do this? What had she done to deserve this? She realized what she had done, she had betrayed those touched by "God", but was there really such a thing? She was beginning to think not.

It was almost time for the wedding. Everyone was seated and Adam was standing up front by the Priest. The Priest was an Akuma, of course, but no one but the Noah knew that. Raina might, but that was only because he was also one of her servants, but it was doubtful that she knew every single one of them. She probably didn't interact with many of them. Devit sat on the church pew, sending dagger-filled glares up to Adam who was chatting with the "Priest". It was almost time, but not quite. When Fae and Eve joined them, then it would be time.

"Do you think Rai will look pretty?" Asked Jasdero. He was fiddling with a strand of his hair. He had been forced to pull it back out of his face. His green eyes – god they looked too unfamiliar like that – stared into his own green eyes. He looked away, wanting to mess up his hair. Since it was long enough to be pulled back as well, his hair was slicked back and pulled back. He wouldn't lie, he hated it, but there wasn't much he could do about it so he just dealt with it. He had to look nice for the wedding after all, though he hated the wedding too. He had to be in his human form, they all did. He looked at all the Noah, they were all there. They were all dressed nicely as well. Elegant and beautiful, they sat in their seats and chatted amongst themselves. He turned his eyes back to Jasdero, so he could answer his brother.

"Of course she'll look pretty. What kind question is that?" He asked.

He giggled softly. "I forgot" His voice, teasing, "She always looked pretty to Devi" Devit rolled his eyes at his brother, but managed a smile. He glanced at the closed doors. When would she be coming in? When would this horrid thing start? He didn't want to be here, but he really didn't have much choice in being here or not. They saw the Earl sitting, in his human form up two pews. He was talking to Lulu. She was dressed in guy's clothing and a few woman were gazing at her. Devit smiled, stupid noblewomen. They were just so...ugh. Humans

Fae and Eve helped her down the stairs to the small room outside the double doors that led into the main hall. She looked at the oak doors with displeasure. They opened a small crack and a person peeked their head out and smiled. She gasped, almost dropping the flowers she had in her hand in shock. She kept a hold on them barely though.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered harshly.

Lavi grinned at her. A face she never thought she'd never see again and here was at her _wedding_ of all things! She wanted to smack him, hard, but she restrained herself. Eve and Fae looked at her curiously. Then Fae smiled.

"Oh I get why you're here" She said. "You're not really qualified for the position though are you? Shouldn't it be that old Bookman that does it?" Fae tapped her lip with her finger as she said that. Eve just looked really confused.

"Well, someone has to do it. Would you rather it be the Earl or me?" He was asking Raina. Raina looked at him for a long moment. She was trying to understand the question. "To hand you off to that guy"

"What? That's why you're here?"

"No. Not really. I wanted to see you off. I know you told me and Ghost to beat it but...we both wanted to be here..." He shrugged. "I talked to the Earl though. He's okay with us being here. And I suggested this, figuring that you'd be more comfortable if it were me..." She felt angry that they were there but comforted that some part of her old life could be here with her. She sighed.

"Alright" She nodded. She turned to Fae and Eve. Eve still looked dreadfully confused but the less she knew the better off she would be. "Go in you two. I'll wait for the music to start" She told them. They both nodded at her and hurried inside the building. She turned to Lavi as the door slipped shut again. "I'm angry with you, but at the same time I'm happy that you're here" She told him. He grinned.

"I knew your happiness would keep you from hitting me. A happy Raina usually isn't a violent one!" She shook her head at him. "But I'm right"

"I just don't want to be violent on "my" Wedding day." It wasn't her's at all. At least it didn't feel like her's. It felt like...This day was hollow. Nothing good could come out of such a day. The sun may have been shinning and it may have been a beautiful day, but she wouldn't have cared if it was pouring down rain. It would have suited her mood much better. She sighed, and pulled herself together. The music started and Lavi offered her his arm.

"You can do this" He muttered to her.

"I hope so" She whispered back. Then she took his arm.

Devit, just like everyone else, turned when the doors open. He blinked several times to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Raina didn't look like herself at all, but at the same time she looked beautiful. Her hair was pinned up so only a little but was brushing against her neck. The veil fell softly down her back. She had makeup on and he really didn't like that, but her dress...It was long-sleeved and mostly lace, covering her arms and gloves covering her hands. The sleeves weren't odd though. It was getting colder out now, moving towards winter – their birthday would actually be in about two months. The dress itself was pretty straight, fitting to her form and pooling at her feet. Around her neck she wore a black lace necklace though. He saw how delicate the lace was and decided it was something truly expensive. Also around her waist was a thin ribbon that was as black as night. It was tied and the ribbon trailed town to join the pools of the gown. She walked as if she were walking to her death. She was graceful, proud, fearful but he could she acceptance in her eye. It was a sad thing. As she walked by, she looked at him, there was sorrow in her eyes now. The soon-to-be-Bookman walked her past him though.

A part of him wanted to jump up, grab her and run. Prove to all of them that she was his. She was his! Now he had to watch this? It was painful, horrifying. He hated that he had to watch as she was handed to someone else. When Lavi gave her to Adam, Devit felt rage in his system. Adam smiled, ever so charmingly at her, beaming with happiness he didn't deserve to have. He had to close his eyes. When ever he was angry, he always wanted to slip into his Noah form. He could feel it. He wouldn't be surprised if his green eyes were golden instead.

"Devi?" Jasdero whispered. He could hear the priest starting the wedding. Devit kept his head down now, his heart aching. As much as he knew she didn't want this, it was happening anyway and in a way it kind of really hurt. He grabbed at his chest, over his heart, in search of a way to stop this unusual pain. "Devi?" Jasdero whispered again. He looked at his brother.

"It hurts" He told him. Jasdero's lip trembled, like he wanted to cry.

"I know"

Devit knew that his twin, his bond, was going to suffer through this with him. They sat there a long time, Devit clutching his chest, head down and Jasdero fighting the tears that Devit almost wished he could cry.

"You may kiss your bride!" He closed his eyes tightly. People around him clapped and he covered his one ear with his other hand. People were standing he stood too, looking to see Adam tugging down Raina down the aisle. She came hesitatingly. Devit and Jasdero cut him, off running out before them, slamming the doors behind them.

"I can't do this!" Devit said as they reached the outside.

"We can do this" Jasdero corrected softly. And Devit nodded, he was right.

Raina stopped when Devit and Jasdero had rushed out, her one hand going to her lips in shock. Everyone was watching the door in shock. She was hoping the Earl was too. She was too afraid to look though, too afraid that he was angry instead of in shock. Adam had stopped too, but he still had his hand in her's. There was a sudden _bang_.

A gun shot.

The nobles looked shocked and worried. All the Noahs had looks of disapproval on their faces. Adam tugged on her hand again, willing her to go forward and she stumbled after him. They went outside and there was nothing to be found. No bodies, no blood and not even a bullet's shell. All the Nobles were shocked, muttering amongst themselves like a group of disturbed birds..

Adam was confused, not knowing what had happened. She knew. They knew too.

Raina looked towards the trees where she saw one golden eyes peering at her. She watched it for a long moment and it slowly faded into the darkness of the tree. She stood there watching the tree, hoping they'd come back but they didn't. She lowered her gaze, feeling like they had rejected her. It wasn't fair! She was doing this for them! Fae touched her shoulder.

"I'll find them for you" She whispered to her. "Go home and wait"

She nodded and went to Adam who helped her into her carriage. She looked out the window. It had been a long day. The sun was starting to set and by the time they got back to her house – which was where was moving into – it would be night time. She sighed, watching the world going by.

It was later that night when Fae found them. They were just him though. He looked up, peering at her from the one golden eye that showed under his hair. His red outfit was easy for her to see. His hair was longer than when they had fought over a year ago. It had more black in it, the black swirling down to nearly his shoulders now. He was even taller than before too. He had grown as they had grown. He had been sitting on the ground but when she had come, he had looked up at her.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Jasdevi...go see her. She was sad when you ran off"

"She's married now"

"She...Ah!" She cut off. She had been standing in a tree and she fell from it, but she didn't feel that pain. What...? What was going on? She could feel fear, pain...No! NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo! She withered on the ground for a long moment, unaware that Jasdevi had come to her side, to try and help her. She was trying to stop the pain but it didn't...it wouldn't. After what seemed forever it stopped. It left her panting and shaking. Jasdevi was actually holding her at this point and she shuddered, ducking against them. What...had happened?

"Fae?" He said her name softly, questioningly.

She was still trying to figure out what had happened herself. She couldn't answer him yet. Why? What...? Then it hit her. Oh god. Oh god, oh god...

"Raina..." She whispered. She thought their link was weakening, too weak but what she had just felt had been Raina. Jasdevi's body trembled.

"What happened?" He asked. His voice was stiff, angry, he was...upset and she could see it. After seeing her in that pain and then her saying Raina's name he knew that something was wrong with her. He knew but Fae didn't know exactly what had happened.

"I...I don't know...She was scared...She...I don't know!" She felt the tears running down her face, unaware that she had been crying at all. She wiped at the tears. "P...Please! Go to her! Make sure she's alright!"

He stood, helping her onto her feet. "Will you be okay?" He asked.

She laughed. "I know you don't give a shit about me. Now go help her!" He watched her for a long moment and ran off. She lowered herself back to the ground. She called for an Akuma to come to her. She could have given it an order from a distance, but she wanted to see someone, something. When it arrived she looked up at it, tears running down her face yet.

"Please...get Tyki. Hurry..." She told it and it rushed off. Hopefully soon Tyki would be here. She didn't want to be alone. She knew that Raina didn't either...

Raina slipped away from Adam. They weren't in her room...Some other room. He was drunk, horribly drunk, he smelled of the drinks he had downed and of other horrible things. When he had gotten here, he had starting drinking after he invited some friends of his over to celebrate his wedding. She had been forced to sit there, watching them all get drunk, still in her wedding gown. She had been forced to watch the leer at her. She had snubbed them. He had tried to kiss her among other things in front of his friends, show that she would bow to his will. She had ended up slapping his as hard as she could and getting up and hurrying from the room. She had been walking down the hall, no longer able to hear their drunken laughter. She had just pulled her veil out, let her hair down. All the things were in her hands. She just wanted to go to her room and change...

He had been there though, coming after her. "Won't let me touch you in front of my friends eh? Well how about now?" He had pushed her into the first room that was there. A guest bedroom. She didn't have her gun with her, not this time. She had fought him with ever ounce of her strength but...

She slipped out of the room, shuddering, not wanting to think about it. It was over now. She...she was okay. She'd be okay. She wasn't clothed but no one else was in the manor and she slowly made her way down the hall to her own bedroom. She locked the door behind her and then headed to her bathroom, running herself a bath. While the bath was running she curled into a ball against the tub, waiting for it to fill, feeling the warmth as it did. She was cold and she could feel bruises forming on her skin. She shiver violently, tears threatening. She managed to hold them back and she closed her eyes, trying to think of more pleasant things.

She must have fallen asleep because soon water poured over the edge of the tube and onto her. She gasped at the shock of it and stood up quickly turning off the water before sinking into the over filled tub. Some more water sloshed out and she didn't care. She curled up again in the water, pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. The water felt good against her body. She felt...destroyed. Horrible.

Nothing about her felt right anymore. She heard a knock at the bathroom door and she jumped, splashing more water out of the tub. She stood, slowly, moving towards the door. How the hell had he gotten in here? She reached for a towel, wishing she had something to...to hurt him with. Kill him with. She wanted him dead, but she couldn't do that. She had to think of them...

Before she could get to the door though it was forcefully opened. She shrieked for only a split second before his gloved hand covered her mouth. She was nearly hyperventilating when she looked into his golden eye. Then she realized that it was just Jasdevi. She forced her body to relax.

"Are you alright?" He asked her, slowly taking his hand off her mouth. She wanted to nod, but his eyes drifted to her cheek and he made an angry sound. "What did that fucking bastard do to you?" He growled.

She touched her cheek and turned to the mirror in that bathroom. She couldn't see well, but she could see the bruise forming on her face, the slight swelling. She could see the bruises on her arms. The towel covered the rest. It wasn't a long moment before Jasdevi pulled the towel off her body, throwing it to the ground and turning her so he could look at the damage that had been done. She looked at him without emotion as he did. If she had shown emotion, she would have started crying. She saw the anger growing in his eyes, the absolute hate for Adam there. He trembled so hard he shook her. He let go of her, looking at his trembling hands. He moved away from her and then punched the mirror. The shock wave made all of it shatter. She felt a piece of glass fly by her and slit her arm and her side open. It was just a moment of pain and then she felt the blood running down her skin. Red tears making tracks down her arm and side. She pressed her fingers against the blood on her arm and looked at the blood. Her fingers trembled.

It made the tears run down her cheeks too, her hands shook more violently. She couldn't take this! Her mind felt swarmed... She collapsed onto the glass strewn ground, her body shaking. Pinpoints of pain in her leg let her know where the glass pierced her. She didn't care. Let it, it hardly hurt.

"Raina!" Jasdevi cried turning to her. "Raina! Don't- There...there's glass all over the ground" He lifted her from the ground all too easily. He carried her back into her room. Her legs, covered with bruise and now with glass and blood, didn't seem to want to work. He sat her on her bed. "Stay here, I'll get bandages. Please don't move." He stroked her hair back from her face, all too gentle with her. She could only nod, but when he left she still reached out for him. She didn't want to be alone.

She lay on the bed, silent. She could feel the blood touching the blankets but she didn't care. Why should she? Blood was only going to stain it and there were worse stains it could have.

He came back only a minute later, disturbing her dark thoughts, bandages in his hand, a wet cloth and a small bucket of water in the other. He sat it down by her bed.

"Sit up, love" He said softly to her. She could hear both their voices in his one voice. It was comforting. He helped her sit up and held her hand for a moment, giving it a squeeze. It reminded her that he was there for her, they were there for her. He bandaged her arm and side so she wouldn't lose too much blood. Glass cut deeply, every time. She could loose a lot of blood from just one cut, but she had much more than one.

Then he start working on her legs, picking out glass on the one, washing it down and bandaging it up to her knees, to the point where the glass had stopped stabbing her. He did the same with the other one. She cried silently the whole time, watching him, the tears just running down her face and dripping onto her clenched fists. When he was done, he cleaned up the glass and then came to sit in front of her again, his hand took her's, his thumb moving over the back of her hand, trying to be comforting. He watched her carefully with the single golden eye that showed. She slip off the bed and into his lap. She lay against his chest and cried harder. He clutched her to him and let her. He tried to comfort her with words, but nothing seemed to work. They were distressed by her distress, angered by what Adam dared do to her, and saddened that they had hurt her in their anger.

It was well past midnight when they managed to calm her.

"I need to get out of here" She said, looking up at them, tears still running down her cheeks. He wiped at the tears with his thumb.

"We know" They told her. "We'll get you out Raina. We won't let you stay here"

"I need to leave. Today, tomorrow _soon_" She told him.

"Soon Raina, we promise"

"_Soon_" She stressed the word again. She shivered. It was too cold for her to be naked. They had forgotten though...They had been more concerned about her well being, the glass and the blood... He stood, setting her on the bed. She stayed, curling into a ball, legs against her chest. She watched him, her long hair pooling around her in a tangled mess. He found a nightgown, a long one and he moved over to her. She slipped it on when he gave it to her.

"Get some sleep Raina." He told her. She looked tired, weary, scared and sad. Very sad.

"Don't leave me" She whispered, her hand wrapping around his wrist. "I won't be able to sleep unless you stay"

"We'll stay with you." He promised, saying it, trying to get her to smile, just the tiniest bit. She did. She smiled softly. She scooted over in the bed. He lay above the covers but by her.

"Don't leave me tonight...stay...Don't leave okay?" Her eyes were closed and she sounded very sleepy.

"We won't. We'll stay" He promised again. She muttered something else but soon she fell asleep. He watched her, both of them happy to see a peaceful expression on her face. Sleep gave her peace, an escape and that was all they could ask for. They sighed, feeling the anger in their chest yet. They couldn't do anything to him...not yet. But soon, they would. Once Raina was hidden away and safe, then they'd make sure that bastard paid.

* * *

Thing are about to get serious for the trio~ I can't say anything more than that...I hope you're all looking forward to the next chapter. Reviews please~


	14. Forbidding Thoughts

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Forbidding Thoughts**

The morning came and it brought no relief to her. Only more fear. She woke in the arms of Jasdero and Devit. They had probably separated during the night. When she moved, they both awoke. Jasdero peered towards the door, which was still closed and locked. Devit clutched her closer to him. He loosened his grip when he realized she had just been trying to get up. She looked at him a for a long moment and forced a smile. He touched her cheek, it probably looked worse than it had last night, looking worried.

"I'm okay" She said. He shook his head, eyes closed, anger flirting across his face.

"This is not okay"

She sighed, wishing that she could prove to him that it would be okay. Everything would be fine. Or she had to hope it would. Soon, she'd leave this place. Soon, this would be no more than a bad nightmare. Soon everything would be okay. Soon...

Then there was a knock on the door. All three of them jumped. Devit and Jasdero pulled out their guns and slipped out of bed, going to either side of the door. They looked at Raina but she motioned for them to wait. They kept their guns out, but nodded.

"Raina?" a groggy voice called. "Raina? Honey? Are you in there?" It was Adam. He sounded worse for the wear, but Raina didn't feel sorry for the dumb drunk. She saw Devit clutch his gun harder though, knuckles turning white. She got up and ran to him before he could open the door and hurt Adam.

"No!" she whispered. "You mustn't!"

"Give me one good reason to!" Devit hissed. She grabbed his face in her hands, forced him to look at her.

"Because if you do, you know what the Earl will do..." She kissed him "I love you Devit. I can't let him take you away from me"

"No one is taking me anywhere" He gently stroked her messy hair of her face. He looked up as Adam banged on the door again.

"Raina...I was really, really drunk. I'm sorry. No more drinking. I promise"

"Where is your gun?" asked Jasdero, moving over to the two. Raina pointed to the bedside table. Jasdero got it for her and placed it in her hands.

"Today we'll go get bullets for the gun. We want you to keep it on you and use it if anyone tries to hurt you again" Devit whispered in her ear. She looked at him.

"Don't leave me" She begged. They glanced at each other.

"We can stay for a little while, but we have to go." Jasdero said.

"Hide in the bathroom. No one can go in there till it's cleaned up anyway." She pointed towards the doors. "You can stand on the edge of the tub. He shouldn't be able to see you from there." The two of them dashed towards the bathroom, jumping easily over the glass that stood in their way. She heard them land on the edge of the tub. It sounded like one of them slipped but the other caught him. She sighed and turned to the doors. Another knock.

"Raina, I'm _really_ sorry" He sounded sorry. She kept the gun in her hands, in plain view. She opened the door and Adam stood on the other side. He looked like he had a hang over. His clothes were thrown on and messy. "I'm sorry" He said. He took in her bruised face and flinched. "I...I wasn't thinking. I was drunk"

"This is the second time you harmed me when you were drunk" She said softly, keeping her voice strong.

"I know" His voice was soft, but pitiful.

"If you hurt me again..."

"I won't!" He looked so desperate, his hands held open. He looked like he wanted to hug her, but he didn't take a step towards her. She rubbed her bruised, scared arms. Then she looked at him again. He looked so desperate. So pitiful. She wanted to take a piece of glass and shove in his throat. She flinched at the violent thought.

When had she become like that? She never thought violently like that. She never had been like that before. She had...She shook her head at herself, wondering what she was doing with herself anymore. To think so violently, to think so cruelly, it wasn't her. She was the kind one, the one that was "sickeningly" cheerful. She was supposed to be hopeful. She was supposed to hope for them, not turn into some sort of monster.

"Leave me" She said finally.

"Th-the house?" He stuttered.

"No, you may remain, but leave me alone. Stay to yourself, sleep by yourself. I need time to think." She stepped back in the room, closing the door on his face. She walked to the balcony, her favorite spot to think. She heard them join her a moment later. She kept her hands on the balcony's railing. She almost wanted to stand up on it. She wondered if Devit would let her. Probably not.

"Are you okay?" It was Jasdero who spoke to her. She looked at him, moving some of his messy golden locks from his face.

"You should comb your hair Jasdero. Your hair is a mess" She avoided the question. She didn't know how to explain the violent thought in her head, or the wish to actually act upon it. The scariest thing to her was that she could really _see_ herself doing that to Adam. She could see her killing him and...she wasn't that way way! She wasn't a monster! She wasn't violent... She wasn't supposed to be a violent person. Of course she knew how to fight because she had been an Exorcist. She..

"Raina" Devit saying her name made her snap back to reality. He place his hand on her's. She realized she was gripping the railing really hard. She loosened her grip slowly, looking sad.

"I'm sorry, my thoughts were..." She shook her head. His hand moved around her, pulling her close. Comforting.

"It'll be alright" He told her. He didn't know her thoughts, but he'd assure her anyway. He knew she needed it. He had always been able to take care of her, to make sure that she was going to be okay, even if she were scared, sad, angry. Even if she were angry though sometimes it was at him. He seemed to know how to make her angry.

Jasdero walked back inside and grabbed the comb – her comb – and started to brush out his long hair. He was giving them a moment to themselves. He was giving Devit the chance to remind her that she was strong, that she could do this. Could she? Could she make it through all of this? Could she live with Adam and not turn into some sort of monster?

"I'm scared Devit" She whispered to him. "I don't feel myself anymore" He didn't offer any comforting words, he just held her while she tried to figure out things in her head, sort them out and hopefully figure out what she was going to do. She needed to figure something out, fast. She closed her eyes, pressing her face into his chest.

"Raina..." He said softly and she didn't look up. She was still so confused by the violence, the anger, inside of her that she didn't know what to say. "You seem...more like a Noah now. I didn't want to say anything, but I think you hang around us too much" He laughed and she looked up at him. "Its not a bad thing, but if that's what you're worried about, maybe you should spend some time away from us."

"I'm liked a Noah?" She asked.

"Yeah. You move like we do. I noticed a while ago but never said anything" he shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. I was more concerned about getting you back to being yourself" He hugged her lightly, pressing her closer to him for a moment. "But, it might be a good thing in the end, don't you think so?" She could hear the smile in his voice. "It means no one will mess with you unless they want you to fuck them up"

She looked up at him and laughed then. Then she moved from her arms and before he could stop her she did climb up on the railing. He took her hand. She knew he was going to keep it so if she did fall, he'd be able to save her. She stood there, a soft breeze coming over her, lifting her tangled hair. She lifted her one arm up as if she could catch the wind.

"I want to leave this place Devit. Forever. Never look back."

"You will and I'll keep you safe this time" his words were said like a promise. She looked back at him and he pulled her gently off the railing and into his arms. He carried her back inside and dumped her on the bed and jumped onto it next to her. He leaned down to kiss her, but instead cried "ow!"

"I am here you know" Jasdero said, going back to combing his hair. Raina laughed and Devit moved, sitting next to her. She stayed laying down between them and she glanced at the locked door, as if worried that Adam would come back. She was still worried about her own violent thoughts, becoming more like a Noah as Devit had said. "Raina let me comb your hair"

She sat up at Jasdero's voice and looked at Devit. She saw something in his eyes. A worry that she wasn't used to seeing. It was fearful worry as if she might randomly be struck by lightening or combust or something. She smiled at him and his eyes touched hers. He looked away.

"Devit?" she asked softly. He didn't look at her and she just stared at him, wondering what was wrong. He didn't answer her, only sat, looking away from her while Jasdero combed her hair.

Fae had spent the night with Tyki. She had been in desperate need of comfort. She had been in desperate need of him. Even now, though it was well past the time where she would usually get up, she laid in his arms. He was fiddling with one of the ribbons on the shoulder of her nightgown, waiting for her to get up. He told her he would stay with her as long as needed. She was surprised that he hadn't gotten up to go get breakfast without her. He stayed though, waiting for her. She looked up at him with her blue eyes, not in her Noah form.

"Why are you still here?" She asked.

"Don't you want me here?" He asked.

She looked at him for a moment longer. "Of course I do. I figured you'd go get breakfast though" His fingers rested on her shoulder now and he looked past her. He sighed them, his breath ruffling his hair. Then he sat up with her still wrapped in his arms.

"Then let's get dressed and get ready. I am hungry."

"What?" She asked, pressing her palm against his chest, pushing away from him.

"Come with me. Let's get breakfast together. You can't hide in bed all day Fae. It's not healthy."

"But...but Raina..."

"Has Jasdevi. She'll be fine as long as she has them" his voice was soft and serious all at once.

"What if she ever lost them?" the question slipped out of her lips before she could stop it. He looked at her, a frown on his face now. He appeared to be thinking about it and then he sighed, closing his eyes and turning his face away from her.

"If one of them dies, they all will. That is the fate of the Bonds of Noah" He said the words without emotion, but she could see the pain on his face. She looked at him for a long moment to see if he was kidding or not.

"But she's not a Noah"

"She might as well be. You are. You're her twin, but if it hadn't been for her Innocence. I think she would be, I think somehow her Innocence is still keeping her from becoming a Noah"

"She's a Noah?" Now Fae's voice was fill with disbelief. He turned to look at her again, his eyes opened and the golden irises seemed to glow. She felt the will to shift into her own Noah form within her, but she ignored it.

"I don't know. I feel it in her. That would explain why she heals so fast. Maybe she was always destined to become a Noah and the Innocence has been protecting her. Maybe it still is"

"She destroyed her Innocence though. It's gone" Fae pointed out.

"What if it's not all gone? What if it's battling against the Darkness inside her, what if its inside her, fighting to keep her Human?" His words were pondering and it made Fae wonder. She could not sense any Innocence on her sister, but that didn't mean that it was completely gone. The Innocence did seem to have a mind of its own. She wouldn't be surprised if it...if it was. What if it was hiding in her body? Battling the 'darkness' that would force her to become a Noah?

"What makes you think all of this?" she asked, looking at him.

He shook his head and shrugged. "Something to ponder. But if you watch her, she moves like one of us. She speaks like one of us. She does a lot of things... as if she were one of us" When she thought of it, she could see it. She saw how Raina walked, how she talked sometimes and even how she smiled. A chill ran down her spine and it wasn't a pleasant one. It was forbidding. She felt like something bad was going to happen soon.

"Tyki...my sister is doomed isn't she?"

"What do you mean?"

"It seems that fate is lining up to destroy her, rip her apart or kill her"

"Or all three at once"

"Tyki! You are not helping!" She snapped at him, jumping from the bed and away from him. The wind ruffled the skirt of her nightgown and her hair as it spun around her. She was upset, that much was clear. She didn't want to think of it. "Do you think the other two would die if one of them got killed?" She asked him softly then.

"No physically, but mentally, emotionally...yes. They'd die." He answered. She turned to him, a frown on her face. She felt like crying, screaming, stomping her feet and yelling into the sky all at once. It wasn't fair! Why did fate have such a bone to pick with her family? Why not pick on someone else's family?

Tyki stood and went to her, pulling her against him. She wrapped her arms around him. "It's not fair" She moaned.

"Life isn't fair, love. It never has been"

Raina got ready to go on an outing. She even dressed up Devit and Jasdero. They were sneaking out of the house together. She wouldn't be able to show affections for them in public, but she wanted to show them around town and act like the simple, silly girl that she missed being. She had an Akuma check on Adam. He was resting and nursing his awful hangover. She ordered them to take care of him, but she knew Devit disapproved.

"Do your legs hurt?" he asked softly, as he pulled her into his arms again. They were leaving through the garden. They were going to jump off the balcony. She couldn't do that, so that was why he was carrying her.

"A little. Not that much. I can walk easily" she answered. She had been moving around all morning. What made him think that she was hurting?

"What about your arms?" He asked as he jumped onto the railing of the balcony, balancing on it with one foot. Jasdero jumped into the garden before them. He was grinning as he did and it made Raina smile softly.

"They're bruised and they do hurt a little bit but its nothing new." she told him her eyes narrowing a little. He swung his other leg back and forth making them rock on the edge of the balcony. "Is something wrong Devit?"

"I'll tell you later" he muttered and then he jumped, landing on the ground easily, tucking her against him to keep her from feeling too much shock from the landing. He kept her in his arms until they reached the edge of the garden when here set her down so she could fix her hair and her dress. She smiled at him. He smiled lightly back.

"Okay, so you two are my footmen, accompanying me into town today for a day of shopping" she told them again before opening the gate to the garden and walking out of it. They followed behind her. Devit stuck his hands in the pockets of his dress pants, frowning. "C'mon Devit, let's go explore a bit."

"I doubt the richy-rich part of town will offer anything for me" He said with a frown.

"Well you do want to buy those bullets don't you?" He nodded stiffly and she walked towards the exit of her estate. "Jasdero, where do you think we should go first? I was thinking of buying something new for my hair!"

"Oh! I'll help you pick something out! I think something light blue would go with the shade of your hair.."

Devit block his brother and Raina's rambling out. They went on about different things as they walked, talking more as friends rather than footman and mistress. He didn't want to play this role though. He watched Raina walk though. She walked with her spine straight, her eyes darted forward every few moments to check on the path before her. Her coy smile, she looked like a Noah walking. For a moment he imagined her with black hair, golden eyes and tan skin. She wouldn't look half bad as a Noah, but he would always prefer her like this. Soft and human. Even if she wasn't as safe as she would be if she were powerful, he still liked her better like this.

She couldn't be a Noah anyway. She had been an Exorcist. Exorcists couldn't be Noah, not ever. No matter what happened, they were Exorcists. As she said. She still claimed to be one though she no longer had her Innocence. She had destroyed it though, herself...that led him to think suspicious thoughts, but from what Lavi had told him.

He grimaced, not wanting to think of what the Bookman-in-training had told him. He didn't want to believe that it could happen to Raina. It couldn't. She had enough strife in her life, she didn't need anymore.

"Devit?" She had stopped and turned back to him. Jasdero was at her side. He realized that he was several feet behind them. He hurried to catch up. He couldn't completely banish the worry on his face and he knew that she was becoming suspicious. How was he supposed to tell her? How would she react? He couldn't know so he wouldn't tell her, not yet. He had to wait until it was safe to tell her.

"Devi?" Jasdero's soft voice cut through his thoughts as if he had screamed at him.

"Don't worry" He replied. Raina looked between the two of them suspiciously and he threw on one of his usual grins. "I thought you were dragging us shopping Rain. You know, to get all of that crap that girls like. Man since you went back home you've become girly haven't you?" She instantly frowned, her chest puffing up. He couldn't help but chuckle. Though he couldn't say he enjoyed the dress she was wearing. Because she had puffed up like an angry cat, he could see how the dress seemed to strive to flatten her chest. Disappointing. Suddenly she had her arms crossed over her chest.

"You're such a pervert Devit!" she snapped at him. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Well...when you puff up like that..."

"Shut up before I hit you!" He didn't say anything only chuckled before walking past her and Jasdero. Jasdero was still watching him with worried eyes. He could feel them in his back. He heard Raina give a huff and follow after him.

"Don't stomp" He said, stopping and turning back to her. She looked at him, stopping as well. He smirked at her. "You'll break your heels, _milady_" She made a frustrated sound and shook her head at him.

"You're being a jerk today Devit" She grumbled.

He went back to her, squeezing her hand gently. "Yes, but you sure are being fiery today"

She removed her hand from his. "Let's just get to the town. It's not far now" He knew he had made her a bit upset with him but it was better than him being suspicious of what he was thinking about. Her anger would keep her thoughts on other things. So he would deal with that. He could deal with the anger better anyway. There was a time where he knew a lot of anger from other people. He and Jasdero being the odd children in his village and again when he chose her over the other Noahs. He'd still chose her. He was still choosing her.

Love was powerful. That much he was slowly figuring out. Love was hard. It was hard to be in love with her. Sometimes he thought it'd be better if he just disappeared from her life. He knew it wouldn't be. She'd search for him desperately. She was a part of them now. Being away from her for too long hurt, it made him anxious as if he needed to be around her. Even now as he walked a few feet behind her...He reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing lightly. She stopped and he almost ran into her. She looked at him.

"I just wanted to hold your hand" He said. He knew his own look was just as confused. He let go of her hand and glanced away, a light blush on his face. She sighed and her fingers touched his cheek. He glanced at her.

"As much as you can be a jerk sometimes, your soft side always gets me" She smiled dropping her hand.

"Soft side? I don't have a soft side!" He said instantly. He felt his face heat up more. "I'm not soft at all" He crossed his arms.

"Of course you don't Devi" She said softly and then she and Jasdero both laughed. Then they started walking again. He hurried to follow after them. They started talking again about things she could buy. She could probably buy a lot now. She had the fortune of two families at her disposal. As they came into town he saw the nobles walking around, so high and mighty. Ugh, what he would give to show them the meaning of the world 'mighty'. He was here to get the bullets for Raina's gun though. He didn't know much about bullets or buying them since he never had to before. He and Jasdero had all the bullets they needed.

A noble approached her. Two. A young man with a bright, bubbly brunette on his arm. Devit moved protectively to Raina's side anyway, Jasdero on the other side. The man glanced at the two of them and Devit ran his fingers along his coat, feeling for his gun. Though he had brute strength he could use, a gun was much more threatening.

"Raina Fitzgerald! Ah, or should I say Raina Blanc now?" She seemed to flinch at the name, a movement that went unnoticed by the clueless noble. "What are you doing in town so soon after your wedding day? Shouldn't you and your husband be together?"

She smiled slightly, a fake smile. Devit knew it was fake. "Oh, well I wanted to do some shopping. Surprise him"

"Surprise him with bills?"

"No, no, new clothes for myself. My dresses are all old. I feel as though I am growing out of style" She sighed as if that was such a problem. Devit was kind of amazed, she was talking to them as if she had grown up among them where as he knew that wasn't the case. She had grown up as a weapon. He looked at the man with the woman on his arm, The woman sighed lightly.

"Raina, you're so lucky. I bet you had lots of men asking to marry you, you're so pretty"

"Now Fran, you're pretty too" The man said with a grin.

"I know. It's mainly her eyes I'm jealous of. You got them from your grandmother right?" Raina nodded. "Then again your eyes are odd, you could just be called a freak instead of beautiful right?" She and the man laughed. He saw Raina clench her fist and then she smiled, it was the angry type of smile. Devit figured that meant she was going to do something to this couple. If anyone asked him, he didn't see anything though. He knew Raina could have a temper on her and with him teasing her, she had already been ready to hurt someone. Looks like these guys hit a soft spot though and were probably going to get their asses handed to them.

"Oh how right you are Fran. But I'll be happy knowing I have something else that you nor any other woman in this town has."

"What is that?" She asked suspiciously. Raina moved then, even in her long, thick dress, she swiped their legs out from under them with her own leg, returning to her normal position all in a matter of seconds. Both of them screeched while going down. They landed on the dirty ground in a pile.

"I have a backbone. I'm not a whimp like rest of you morons." She said and they looked up at her with wide eyes. She stepped over them and motioned for him and Jasdero to follow after her. Everyone was looking at them – her – with wide, surprised eyes now. She smiled, as if she had a great victory. Devit could help but smile too. Adam may think that she was his but he couldn't be more wrong. "Do you think that was a little much?" She asked them, shooting an almost innocent gaze back at the twin brothers.

Jasdero laughed. "Of course not!" He said, a grin sticking on his face. Devit grinned too.

"Nah, they deserved it" Devit imputed. "Let's get those bullets and take you home then okay? We actually gotta get going soon" She nodded and they walked through town, past the noble section completely and to more of the lower-class section. The people there regarded her with suspicion and Devit saw a few men looking at her hungrily. He and Jasdero always moved to block their vision of her.

"Okay, we should be able to get them here" She said, entering a shop. It didn't look like a place that would sell bullets, but she didn't seemed to care. She walked up to the counter and started talking to the man there. He was a friendly looking man. She took the gun out of her boot showing it to him and within a few minutes he brought her bullets. She paid him and returned to the twins, tucking the bullets away into her outfit and the gun back into her boot.

"I didn't know you knew anything about buying bullets" Devit said as they walked out. "Or about weapons in general."

"I don't" She answered. "I just talked to him like I would to any other normal person and he sold me the bullets I needed" She smiled.

"Why don't we hurry back?" he asked her. "We really need to be leaving" She nodded and hurried down the street. Soon they found themselves in a back alley and Devit scooped her up into his arms. Then the two of them jumped on top of the nearest house and ran. It only took them less than half the time it took for them to get to the shop to get back to her balcony. It was harder to jump all the way back up there with her added weight then it was to jump down but he managed.

He set her down on the balcony. Jasdero was sitting on the railing, waiting for them. "You'll be alright?" He asked.

"Yeah. I can take care of myself Devit" She said with a small smile. He still looked worried though. She sighed and hugged him tightly. "I'll be alright."

"I hope so..." He muttered into her ear. "Keep the first shot empty so you don't accidentally hurt yourself" She nodded and he kissed her for a second before stepping back. She quickly hugged Jasdero too.

"Be safe you guys" She said to them. Devit nodded and then he and Jasdero jumped off the railing. They paused in the garden to see her leaning over the railing and watching them, He frowned lightly, wondering if it was a good idea to leave her alone anymore. Well it gave him time to plan and plot how to get her out of there. The sooner she was safe, the better.

So he and Jasdero turned and hurried away, jumping the wall around her home easily and heading back to their own home. A cool breeze blew against them, chilling them slightly and reminding him that winter would be there soon...The thought of winter made him thing of the dream he had. Her dying because of him, because of that dagger. Suddenly he didn't want winter to come, the idea terrified him. He frowned at himself, pushing himself faster. He had more important things to think about then winter...Thinks like a way that he'd never have to leave her again, a way for them always to be together.

It sounded too good to be true.

And in a way, he was sure that was just about true.

* * *

Here is another chapter for you. Lately I get inspired by the weirdest things and then I have to write it all out. I hope you enjoyed it. But hmm..its getting closer to winter. That's where all those dreams are centered. You know what that means! Soon you'll find out what they mean! And what is all this talk about Raina acting like a Noah? I guess you guys are gonna have to wait to find out~

And don't forget to leave me your thoughts on the chapter. I always enjoy reading them!


	15. Crushing Hope

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Crushing Hope**

"Two months" She sighed and pulled her coat tighter around her body. "It's been two months" She shook her head. "And in more two months they get their birthday. I'm surprised we have gotten so far into the season and it hasn't snowed yet" Another sigh.

"Raina get back inside before you catch a cold"

Raina turned to look at her sister who was lounging in a chair. It was just them that day. Adam was out with some of his idiot friends. Hopefully not getting drunk. He had gotten drunk four times in the last month and tried to come onto her. She had actually shot at him once, clipping his shoulder. That had shaken him once. She could only regret that she had missed his head.

She walked inside, closing her balcony doors. The sky was clear, it didn't look like snow at all. She wondered if it would ever snow this season and she hoped it would soon. She wanted to see the snow falling. She liked the snow almost as much as she liked fireflies. She went to sit on the other chair that had been brought into the room when her sister came in. They could sit and talk then. She picked up the warm cup of tea that she had waiting for her inside. Fae was watching her.

"I'm worried about you" She said finally.

"What is there to be worried about? I'm keeping myself safe enough for Adam"

"There's something hanging over you, something dark. Its growing."

"I'm sure you're imagining things" she waved her hand, waving away her sister's fears. She knew they didn't go away though. You couldn't wave away fears just like that, or else she'd wave away her own fears.

"I'm sure I'm not...but I don't want to be paranoid" She mimicked Raina's waving gesture. "Let's just hope whatever it is that I'm seeing – or not seeing – goes away on its own. I'm the little sister, I'm not supposed to be worrying about all of this crap"

"If you're the little sister, shouldn't I be telling you not to say 'crap' and bother you to when you might be getting married as well?"

"Oh and shouldn't you be bothering the young men that do come to take my hand? Telling them they're not good enough and whatnot?"

"Oh! And I should also be telling you, as a big sister, to avoid marrying anyone I know. It'd be awkward and all. Whose side would I sit on? The Bride's or the Groom's?"

"Mine of course! I am your sister! But I don't see that as a problem. I'm not going to marry anyone you know"

"Oh, shoot. I'll have to tell Jasdero not to wash his suit then" It made Raina giggle to see how her sister gawked at her. She couldn't help it. It was so funny.

"I'm not going to marry Jasdero! You're dating his twin and if I dated _his_ twin that would be all awkward and...and _odd_"

"But funny. It'd be funny to see the looks they'd give us if they were here with us you know" She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back against her chair. "When will they be back to visit me?"

"I don't know sister" Fae's expression had sobered up right away, no longer joking but serious. "Last I heard, they were heading out on a mission today"

"A long mission?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure."

"Will you make sure I'm alerted when they come home?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I don't have to, you know that they'll come to you" Raina sighed because she knew her sister was right. She knew that they'd come to her, that they'd make sure to see her when they were done with their mission. They did that more often than reporting right to the Earl. She knew they got in trouble and though she was worried about that part they always assured her that it wasn't that much of trouble.

"I know. I just like to be reminded"

"Argh!" Devit cried, ducking down further. He glanced around and though the rubble fell around him, he couldn't see the Exorcist Girl that was attacking them. They weren't really attacking back. It was that girl again, the friend of Raina. They couldn't hurt her by killing this Girl. They wouldn't do that to her. They cared about her too much. So, they ran, ducked and fired shots that would miss.

"Devi?" Jasdero's voice asked lightly. Devit brushed the gravel off his head and out of his hair. Then he gripped his gun tighter.

"Being in love with her is a pain in the ass!" He growled. His tone was annoyed but it didn't sound angry. He couldn't be angry at anyone but himself. He knew from the moment he was turned into a Noah that love would probably be something that he could never have. Something he'd never be able to give. He loved his brother, of course he did, but to be able to be _in_ love with someone else was probably out of the question. Then Raina had showed up and fucked that part up. He had resisted like hell, he hadn't wanted to love her. He didn't want to love her, not back then. When she was in danger though, it always caused his heart to tighten, stuttering instead of beating. She_ was_ his heart on some levels. If she would die...Her pain was his in the end, just as Jasdero's pain was his pain. When he and Raina were together, just them, he could see them as one. Just as one soul, it was wonderful to feel. It was probably one of the best things that came with being in love with her.

"But we love her anyway" Jasdero said with a grin. Just then, a foot came crashing through the rock between them. Devit reacted before Jasdero could, pushing his twin out of the way. A rock fell and he coughed, blood splattering against the pavement. The rock was crushing him. He could feel it pressing down against his back, maybe crushing some of his ribs, puncturing his lungs and other organs. They would bleed and that was where this blood was coming from. Shock ran over him for a moment, relief that Jasdero was safe then. Jas was safe, everything would be fine as long as Jasdero was fine.

"Devit!" Screamed Jasdero. Devit coughed again, feeling his body throb. The Exorcist girl stood there, looking shocked. Her eyes were wide, she was still. He realized, by the look in her eye, that though she was fighting him, she didn't want to really hurt or kill them. She was probably doing that out of respect for Raina. She moved towards him, he didn't know if she wanted to help or not, but he couldn't imagine what she could do. He lay his head down on the hard ground, his breathing was labored already as liquid, his blood, flooded his lungs. He coughed again, spitting it across the ground. His vision started to flicker slightly. Damn it all, he felt tired. Maybe...maybe everything would be alright if he just took a nap...

"Devi! Devi! Please don't go to sleep!" Jasdero was on his knees in front of them. He felt something plop on his cheek and he looked up at his younger twin.

"I won't. Calm down" He wheezed. He could barely hear his own voice. Damn, he sounded terrible. Was he dying? Well fuck, he couldn't die! What about Jasdero? What about Raina? He tried to push himself up but ended up giving up. The rock that was crushing him was too heavy. He wondered if his bones were broken. He coughed again, trying to clear his lungs, trying to breathe. He had to live.

"I'm so sorry!" The girl cried. It took too much energy to look at her, but he did it anyway. She was crying. "I...I didn't mean...I'm sorry!"

"Is...is...everyone gonna cry?" He asked. Too soft. Jasdero heard though.

"We gotta get it off him without hurting him more" Jasdero said. "Hold on Devi. Hold on." He felt Jasdero's hand against his hair. He watched as his brother moved over to the Exorcist girl. "Help me crush the rock. We can't move it off him. I don't want to hurt my brother more" The girl watched him with wide eyes and then nodded slowly.

"I'm only sorry for Raina" She whispered and it made Devit laugh. It ended in a horrible cough that had more blood leaking from his lips.

"Only for her?" He asked. "I live for her. Get this fucking thing off me. I need to keep living. She'll die without the two of us, right Jas?" He didn't hear and answer from his brother and assumed that he just nodded. "Get it the fuck off me n-now!" He stuttered and coughed up blood again. It was getting too hard to breath. Noah he may have been, but the rock was keeping his body from repairing itself. It wasn't doing any good for him. He had to get away from the rock.

He heard them doing something and a crunch that wasn't the rock. Suddenly the rock was starting to crumble and Jasdero was dragging him away from the crumbling rock. He was away from the rumble now, still struggling to breath. The weight was gone, but that was it.

"Devit, Devi, Devi, Devi" Jasdero just kept repeating his name. It was annoying enough to keep him awake, to make him look at his golden-haired twin. Jasdero was crying harder. "I...I gotta get you home. Y-you saved me. I gotta s-s-save you." His words were stuttering, that was how hard he was crying. Devit felt around for Akuma in the area. Once a few were responding to his muddled mind, they started heading towards him.

"Leave" he told the Exorcist girl. It didn't sound like the word 'leave' though. He sounded like he was drunk, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. She seemed to get the message though and with one last worried glance, she jumped off. He wondered where she was going and then decided he was too tired to give a shit. An Akuma showed up only a few moments later. It was a large one. He and Jasdero could ride on its back easily. Jasdero somehow got him onto it.

"Take us home" He ordered. "Hurry! Devi can't last much longer!" There was panic in his voice and Devit could sort of understand. It was only a few months ago that they had gotten hurt last. Jasdero had gotten it worse than him. He had thought Jasdero was going to die and now it was his turn.

No wait.

No...he couldn't die.

But why did...? Everything felt so light, so blurry, his head was swimming. He felt like he wasn't even in his body. He felt like...he felt like was floating above everything else. Yes, he was bleeding to death. Could a Noah bleed to death? He supposed so. His eyelids flickered as he fought to keep his heavy eyes open, fought to stay away, to watch Jasdero's tear-streaked, terror-stricken face. He had to watch him. He had to stay alive.

He had so much to live for.

Tyki was walking towards the door, planning to go get Fae when they showed up. They looked terrible. Jasdero had blood on him, black streaks down his entire face, he was still crying and shouting and screaming for the Earl to come. Devit looked...well he looked dead. He was panting, shallow breaths, eyes closed, probably completely out of it. His skin was pale, nearly human-pale, his stigma standing out against the pale skin. He was shocked to say the least and then fear somehow clenched around his gut. Fear for another Noah's life.

"Road!" He shouted. "Earl!" His tone was calm though, commanding. The Earl had already been coming. At the sight of Devit, he gasped. The huge man nearly fell over and then he was ordering Akuma. Road showed up somewhere around there and took his hand as if she were a scared little girl. Devit was taken away to be treated, leaving a bloodstained, crying Jasdero alone.

"Devi" He hiccuped. "Devi..."

"He'll be fine Jasdero" Road had let go of his hand and was hugging Jasdero, stroking his golden hair. She was trying to comfort the younger twin. Tyki stood where he was, looking at the blood on the ground. Devit had coughed up the blood. Internal damage. His organs were probably the worse off and he might not recover from that. He looked at Jasdero.

"Come on Dero" He kept his voice soft. "You need to get cleaned up" He motioned for Road to let go and surprisingly, Jasdero moved towards the bathroom of his own free will, but the tears never stopped, but Tyki couldn't really blame him. Devit could die. He could. He hoped that he didn't. But he still could.

"Watch him Tyki" Road said softly.

"I will" He replied, starting to head after the broken twin. He stopped, glancing at Road as one of her doors appeared. "What are you going to do?"

"Fetch Fae" She replied simply.

"She's with Raina. Raina will panic" He knew the silly human girl. She'd freak out, demand to be here. She was married now, she could come running here every time they got hurt, she couldn't stay here for weeks, for as long as it took for him to heal.

"I know. Raina should know though. She loves him" Then Road disappeared through her door. It closed, the sound echoing. It gave Tyki the chills and he hurried down the hall to wait for Jasdero to be done with his shower.

Road was upset. How could she not? Though she often teased the other Noah or urged them into trouble, she hated to see her brothers and sisters hurt. She hated it. Devit was more than hurt. He was on the edge of death. There were some injuries not even a Noah could survive. It was horrible to think about but it was true and Road would not lie to herself. There was a chance that they would be losing a Noah.

She found her way to Raina's home, her bedroom and opened another door. She walked into the room and both girls turned shocked eyes towards her. Fae seemed surprised and then her face seemed to fall. She knew that there was something wrong. She could see it in her eyes. Road was trying to find the words to explain what happened. She was never at a loss for words, but this...This was shocking, even to her. She never imagined a Noah going into critical condition from a _rock_. It was kind of like a wake up call to the others. They could die from means that weren't related to Innocence. Noah weren't Immortal.

"What happened?" asked Fae. Raina's eyes darted to her sister and then she looked at Road. Road looked back. The young woman's face was questioning and Road nodded, ever so slightly. It was a good thing that Raina was sitting because she slumped, almost as if she had fainted.

"God no" She whispered.

"What happened?" Fae repeated standing up. Raina stood up next to her sister. Both her hands were holding onto Fae's. Road could see she was trembling. She didn't know what she should say. She didn't know the whole story herself. What could she say?

"There was an accident" she said finally.

"Wh...Who was involved?" Raina's trembling voice reached her ears and she looked at the young woman, trying to soften her golden eyes a little for her. She knew that Raina loved him and that he loved her too. Her mind had a brief flash of the hell they would all go through if it had been tiny human Raina that had been hurt. She was almost thankful that it was Devit now. He would...he had to heal from this.

"You already know"

When those words left her mouth, Raina stumbled backwards. Fae caught her, pulling her up. Trying to at least because Raina was already moving forward. "Take me to them" She said. Her voice was commanding.

"What about your husband?"

"We don't sleep in the same bedroom. I'll...I'll come back tomorrow. I'll handle things and then, then I want to see them again" She clenched her fists and Road looked up at her eyes, a frown crossing her face. She hated to burst Raina's bubble, thinking the twins had each other to lean on to get better. No, there was only one doing the leaning and he was nearly dead when he got there. Blood loss wasn't anything too kind to Noah or anyone really. He was suffering from internal bleeding, that much was clear.

"There was only one of them involved" She said simply. Raina watched her and then Road saw her expression break. She was shocked. She shook herself then.

"Take me to him" She said, her voice rough, sad, angry, scared. Road turned and motioned for both girls to follow her into her door. It was a short way back home and soon they were in the spot where the blood was still staining the floor, soaking into the carpet as it slowly dried. Raina looked at it and followed it, running ahead of the two Noah, leaving them alone.

"Which one was hurt?" Asked Fae softly as if Raina might still hear them. Road gave her a sad look.

"Devit" she answered. Fae closed her eyes.

"I better go after her and make sure she'll be okay" Then Fae left Road alone in the bloodstained hall. She looked at her hands and then slowly clenched them. She needed the moment by herself and she figured she might spend it in her room so she walked down the hall, at a slower pace, trying to think and pray that her 'brother' might make it through.

Raina knew where their room was. She walked in, expecting to see them in there. They were not. She looked around and returned to the hall, closing the door. She walked further down the long hall, trying to find where her boys were. She was worried. One of them was hurt and they needed her, she needed to see that they would be alright. She walked slowly, trying to keep herself calm. It was a good thing she was walking slow else she might have missed the open door.

She almost wished she had.

She could see inside the room where she had stopped. There was a few beds inside, but the one closest to the door was the one she focused on. It was against the far wall and a single person lay on it. Bandages showed on his bare chest, though the blankets hid anymore that she might see from her sight. His skin was pale, paler than it should have been and there were...wires hooked into him. He lay as if asleep, barely breathing even so he looked dead. She stumbled to the doorway, her breathing coming in pants, her entire body seized by shock to see Devit, _her Devit_, laying there like that. She didn't notice the others in the room, or that someone was touching her. She felt her vision flicker and then her knees buckled. She hoped that someone would catch her before she hit the floor.

Tyki had been standing there by the door. He had been watching out for Jasdero but then Raina ran into the open doorway. She was hyperventilating and Jasdero looked up at her, not looking shocked that she was there at all. He just looked sad. He didn't even get up. He looked over at Raina again and her face had paled considerably. _Shit_ he thought right before her eyes fluttered and her knees buckled. He managed to catch her before she hit her head off the floor though. He shifted her, lifting her in his arms and looked over at Jasdero.

"Is she okay?" His voice was worried. He didn't want the other person he cared about to be hurt too.

"Yeah, just shock. She'll come around" He answered.

He carried her over to where Jasdero sat, a second chair was there. They had put it there right away because they knew she'd show up sooner or later. He put her gently in the chair, her head leaning against Jasdero's shoulder. He seemed to relax a little, but only a little, to have her so close. He touched her head briefly with his hand and then looked back at his brother.

"Will he be okay?" He asked. Tyki looked at Devit and then back at Jasdero. He pushed his hair out of his face.

"I can't say. I'm not a doctor" he said simply. He really didn't want to give him false hope. As much as Tyki liked having two lives, he didn't like to lie too much. He looked at Jasdero and then at Raina, whose hand Jasdero held now in his trembling fingers. He looked like he wanted to cry.

"He...he pushed me out of the w-way" The younger twin stuttered, tears starting to run down his face. His make-up had been washed off by his shower so nothing streaked down his face, it was odd to see. At that moment, Raina stirred slightly.

"Jasdero?" she muttered softly. He turned to her, hugging her and crying. "Jasdero?" Her tone was alarmed as she was waking up now. He could see the tears in her own eyes. She was crying too. "W-what happened Jas?" She asked. "What happened? How...how...could this happen?"

"It's all Dero's fault. Devi...Devi pushed me out of the way!" Tyki didn't know what to do about the crying pair. They were both nearly bawling their eyes out, clinging to each other, trying to comfort one another but they just seemed to end up crying more. It was sad. He turned his eyes to Devit, who was still out cold, but breathing. At least he was breathing, that was one thing they could be thankful for. As long as he kept breathing he would be fine. He would live, he would recover.

Or at least that was what Tyki hoped.

The hours passed too quickly and Devit didn't stir once. It was the longest day in Raina's life as she sat there and stared at him, holding hands with Jasdero. After their crying fit was lover, they leaned against each other and watched Devit, wishing for him to wake up and be okay. He didn't. He breathed, slowly and gently, but he was breathing. He breathed which meant he had to be alive. She sat there, loyal, planning to wait as long as she needed to for him to wake up. Her body was tired, she wanted to sleep, but she couldn't sleep. No, she had to watch Devit. Jasdero eventually fell into an exhausted fit of sleep against her shoulder. His hand stayed in her's. She needed him just as much as he needed her right now.

It must have been early the next day and Raina felt like she was going to fall over. Road came in the room. Jasdero was still asleep. He was still leaning against her shoulder, breathing lightly as he slept, getting some rest. She looked at Road who was frowning at Devit in a sad way. Her eyes were sad. Raina felt a tear trickle out of her eye and wiped at it quickly.

How could she keep crying? How many tears could a single body hold? She needed to stop crying. She had to be strong. She was sad, she was scared and she wanted Devit to be okay, but she had to be strong. She didn't feel it though. She pushed that thought away.

"I have to go don't I?" she asked softly.

"Yes. I'll give you two hours to settle what you need to and come back here. I'd say you should stay for a week and see how he is after that. If there are no changes after a week..."

"Don't" She whispered. "Don't" She repeated the one word again. No changes in a week might mean there wouldn't be any changes at all. She looked at him and swallowed hard to keep from crying. She slowly stood, laying Jasdero across the two chairs. She stroked his hair. "I'll be back soon" She whispered to his sleeping form and then she moved closer to Devit, taking his hand. It felt too cold. She squeezed it. "Please...get better. For me, for your brother" She leaned over and kissed his cheek and stroked some of his hair out of his face as well before turning to Road.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah. Where is your door?"

"This way" She followed Road out the door, passing Tyki who was sitting on a chair by the door, looking like he wished that Devit would be okay as well, and out into the hall. They didn't walk far until they came to her door. Raina was let into it alone and she followed its path to her room, opening that door and walking into her empty room. She wrapped her arms around herself and paced before she turned and walked to her closet. She changed her clothes quickly and then headed out of the door and towards Adam's room. She pounded on the door.

Adam answered a moment later, looking groggy. She realized it was very, very early in the morning but she didn't care. He had to know she was leaving. He seemed a bit shocked that she was calling on him. She pulled the jacket she had on, tighter around herself.

"I have to leave for a while" She said simply.

"To where?" he asked.

"A friend's. Her...her brother is hurt and she needs me. Moral support. She is a good and close friend of mine. I need to be with her. I'm leaving shortly, so please inform the servants that I will not be here. Thank you. I must get ready" She heard him try to say something, but she didn't care, she walked away to go back to her room. A lie, that was what she had given him but wasn't a lot of her life right now a lie? He wasn't a lie though, but he was hurt and he needed her. She needed to go back. She swayed when she got back inside her room.

What she needed was some sleep. She would sleep until Road came back and then...then she'd watch him again, make sure that he kept breathing and take care of Jasdero too. She had to make sure that they were both okay. She loved them both after all.

She lay on her bed, fully clothed, fully ready to go the moment Road showed up. She sighed, feeling herself slowly start to sink into the covers on her bed. It still carried his scent slightly from when he had slept over a few days ago. It made her feel calm, safe and gave her hope. He would be alright. Why would be alright? Because she needed him to be. He would be okay because he had to be okay and she would go back and hopefully his condition would improve, even if it was just a bit more color in his face. Anything, anything would make her feel better at this point.

She yawned and closed her eyes, trying to force herself to sleep. Just a over an hour and then she could see him again and make sure that he was okay. She would be able to watch him and help him in any way she could. She just kept telling herself that all would be well and a part of her started to believe it.

_It was snowing and it was beautiful. She stood still for a moment in wonder of the snow. Was it the first time it snowed this year? She thought that it just might be but she could think if it was or not. Did it really matter? The beautiful white flakes fluttered down to touch them and the Earth with their chilling touch._

_The field was bare of anything but long dormant grass, awaiting Spring's touch to awaken it into full bloom, but it didn't bother her. She thought that maybe in the Spring it would be beauitful with flowers and plants and green grass everywhere. The winter had its own beauty though, the field was beautiful with its thin coat of frost. She sighed, her warm breath mist in the cold air. Her hands were not cold because they held her hands in theirs, tightly. She was happy to be with them, happy to be there if only because of them._

_There was a sound, an angry sound, one that a part of her knew on instinct now, one that filled her with fear and then they let go and stepped away. No! No they could not let go! She remembered now! She remembered! She reached for them, just as she always did, as she always would. "No!" she wanted to scream. "Don't let go! Don't leave me!" but the words never came to her lips, she couldn't force them. She had to let it go on. She had to let them go._

_Their guns were out and she could see black figures around them, she yelled, trying to get them to run, to leave this place with her. They had to leave with her or else...or else. They had to leave! They told her to run, alone, and she wanted to but she would not leave them. She could not leave them. If she did...No even if she stayed. No! This wasn't right! This couldn't be!_

_There was a gun shot, a loud blast that she heard and focused on. It was aimed at her, she knew it was by now. She felt the blood hit her face as one was hit and he fell to the ground, golden eyes shocked. She looked down her own eyes wide at the horror of it. She knew it was coming and yet she was horrified by it._

_"No!" her cry was of denial. "No!"_

_She wiped at the blood on her face, smearing it across her cheek, across her fingers. She fell to the ground with them and she pulled them into her arms, holding them, cradling them as tears fell off her face and onto their bloodstained one. Faces flashed. Sometimes it was Jasdero, sometimes Devit and it was confusing but saddening. She didn't know which one, but did it matter? To lose one was like losing both. She couldn't lose either of them, she loved them too much. They touched her face with their blood-covered hand, smearing more blood across her cheek, under her eye as if it were some macabre make-up. _

_The white snow was turning red, red with his – their? - blood, dripping so hot onto her hands, keeping them warm and away from the cold. How cruel was life that it let his life blood keep her warm? Keep her safe? They were smiling, as if they had something very good to tell her. She didn't want to hear it, she never wanted to hear it._

_"It...it...was su...supposed to be y..ou" they whispered, their breath gasping. She screamed her denial again, unable to face the truth. Their eyes closed, she knew they would not open again. She knew he was gone and she tried to control her breathing, tried to keep from screaming for him to wake up and not to leave her. He couldn't leave her. She needed him._

_The snow continued to fall._

* * *

I feel evil.

Read & Review please. Tell how evil I am  
Note: I really don't want to know how evil I am


	16. Awake

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Awake**

A week passed fast. Faster than she would have liked. Raina was always by Devit's side. She hardly got up, afraid to leave him and afraid to leave Jasdero for too long. She held Jasdero's hand most of the time and when she wasn't holding his hand, she was letting him lay his head in her lap and sleep while she held his brother's hand and stroked his hair with her free hand. Anything to keep him calm. She randomly wanted to burst into tears, looking at Devit. On the outside he looked fine, just a little bruised. She was told all the damage had been done internally. They could do nothing for him except wrap bandages around his body to steady his broken ribs. That was it. It wasn't enough, not for her. They may have checked on him every day, they may have been making sure that his signs were vital and after three days the wires were removed, leaving him to recover and rest. He was given water to drink and she hoped it was enough. Nothing was enough for her.

She sat now, Jasdero sleeping his fingers curling into the fabric of her dress. He was like a precious brother to her. Something she could not lose. She could not lose. She couldn't lose Devit either. Her eyes were on him. She glanced down at Jasdero. His blonde hair was spread everywhere since he left it down all the time. It was so long and so pretty. Shiny, prettier than any girl could ever get her hair.

"You both need to eat" Tyki's voice made her look up at him. He sat by the door, eyes on her and Jasdero as if he couldn't stand to look at Devit in his current state. "And you need to sleep. When was the last time you got decent sleep?"

It was true. She wasn't sleeping...or eating really. She was drinking plenty of water but she couldn't bear to eat. It made her stomach hurt. Whenever she slept she had dreadful nightmares. She hadn't slept for a day and a half now. She went through stages, about two days without sleeping, then some sleep, a nightmare and wake up scared and restless. Her dream was the same every time now. She could recite it to herself like a poem.

There was a field, it was snowing. They were together and then one of the died. For her to make it worse. Then she'd feel the blood and then she'd wake up. Scared. Crying. With no comfort. She'd hold very still until she could calm the tears. Jasdero's brother could die. She didn't want him to think he had to be comforting her. When she felt better she would go back to him and sit by him again, holding his hand.

"I will" she said, her words hollow.

"He's getting better you know. He breathes more steadily now and they say his ribs are healing at four times the normal human rate. It takes about three months for humans to heal from that sort of injury, that means he'll be healed in three weeks"

"Comforting words. You don't know if that's true"

"They're not comforting words if they're not comforting you" he pointed out. She sighed and looked away from him, back towards Devit. She didn't have anything further to say to Tyki. He was right though. If the words weren't comforting her, could they truly be called comforting words?

"I love him" she whispered as if that would help anything. She knew it wouldn't so she shut her mouth after that. She sat there looking at him and then slowly looked up at Tyki again. "If that rate...of healing you said stays steady...he'll be okay again for his birthday"

"Yeah" Tyki answered. She could see the wonder in his eyes, wondering why she was bringing that up but she dropped her eyes again, looking at Jasdero sleeping peacefully in her lap. "That means about two more weeks till he's fully healed."

"Then why isn't he awake?"

"He had a lot of internal injuries." Tyki's words were slow and careful. "But give him time to recover. He'll wake up soon I'm sure." She nudged Jasdero then. Road had said a week. It had been a week now and she had to return home. She knew she'd be coming back here as soon as she could though. She wasn't going to leave her boys for long. She couldn't do that. Not with Devit how he was and Jasdero how he was being. It just didn't sit well with her, especially Jasdero. He needed someone there with him. And she did too. She wanted Jasdero there though. Out of anyone there, she wanted Jasdero there. She knew that they needed each other right now, but she also knew she had to get ready to leave.

"Jasdero, honey? You need to wake up. I have to get ready to go" He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"Do you have to go?" He asked, sounding very tired. "I don't want you to go"

"Sh...I'll be back. Just stay with your brother. Watch over him okay?" She stroked some of his blonde hair from his face. "I'll be back okay?" She repeated. She wanted him to know that he would indeed be back. She wanted him to not freak out while she was gone. She stood, his hand in her's. She let go of him slowly but he still held on.

"Hurry please. Devi will want you here when he wakes up" Then he let go and turned, still looking sleepy, looking at his twin. She touched his shoulder before she left the room, walking into the hall. She didn't go far before she saw her own twin. She looked at her short hair, it only brushed against her shoulders while Raina's nearly touched the floor. So short and yet her sister looked graceful and beautiful.

"How is he?" asked Fae.

"Well...I'm not sure" She replied, rubbing at her tired eyes. How heavy they felt...but the fear of nightmares kept her awake enough. "Hopefully he will recover soon. I hope for Jasdero's sake."

"For his and for yours?"

"Mostly for his. I haven't known Devit my whole life. Jasdero has. Without each other, they aren't complete" Her sister merely nodded. Then she turned, the skirt of her dress ruffling in the wind that shouldn't be there. She felt it brush against her and it made her sleepy again. It smelt sweet like sugar and it felt nice against her skin. She hurried to go after her sister. She didn't want to be left behind in the dark hallways.

She followed her sister to her room and they both entered. She almost expected Tyki to be waiting for them there but she remembered Tyki was in the room where Devit was right now. So she and her sister would be alone for the moment. Her sister looked as tired as she felt when she sat down on the large bed. She laid about halfway across it.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" she asked.

"Who says I haven't been sleeping? Tyki?" She kept her voice calm and swallowed a yawn. She knew that if she got defensive her sister would know for sure that she had not been sleeping. She hoped this calm confused her and maybe made her think that she had been informed wrong.

"No..well, okay yes" She admitted. "No point in lying really..." her voice trailed off for a moment and Raina waited for her to go on. She really was not surprised that Tyki had told her. She had a feeling Tyki would tell her anything. "I think he's worried about you and Jasdero. I mean Jasdero _is_ a sort of younger brother to him...and you..."

"And I am what? Your twin but also the person he swore revenge on for scaring him" She gave her sister a serious and stern look. "He's going to kill me you know"

Fae sat up, her eyes narrowing. "You're wrong. Tyki has forgotten-"

"He has not! You do not know! You can sit in your deluded world where everything will one day be perfect for _you_ but I live in a-"

"In a world of horror? In a world where you are a weakling? Don't look at me like that Raina! I said whats true. You're _weak_. Sure, you act big and tough, but everyone knows you can't defend yourself, you can't save yourself, you can't even _help_ yourself if you get in a bind"

Fae had stood, the air was blowing softly despite the obvious anger or disgust on her face. Raina couldn't tell which it was. Anger at her words or disgust at her weakness. She couldn't tell. She stood her ground. She was weak, but she wasn't a coward at least. She wouldn't back down, not anymore. She kept eye contact with her twin, unafraid. Fae wouldn't kill her, but she was almost sure that Tyki would indeed kill her in the end. He seemed to not forget his promised revenge. She knew that he would wait until he could kill her to actually do it.

"You're wrong. You don't know me. I may be weak but I'm not helpless. I can handle myself"

"Then why aren't you sleeping?"

She was silent, not wanting to answer her sister at all. She knew that she should tell someone about these dreams but she didn't know who she should tell or how much. It was getting to the point of not being a dream anymore. She was afraid that soon the dream would become the truth. She was afraid that someone was going to die – for her. For weak, pathtic her.

"Fine" snapped Fae. "Don't answer me. I don't care" She waved her hand and Raina knew that she was telling her to get out. She hesitated.

"I'll see you later sister" She told her and then she turned to go out the door. She didn't hear Fae say anything back, so she left. She shut the door behind her and walked down the dark hallway. She wondered if running away from your problems really was the best thing to do. She was going to run away from being married to Adam. Was it going to work? Would it really make everything better?

She wouldn't know till she tried.

So she'd stick to her resolve, she'd get away from this place, the Earl, Adam and even her own sister. She wanted her _own_ happiness now. That could only be obtained if she got away from all these people who seemed to want her to be unhappy or who wanted to use her for her own gain. She was not their slave, she was not their puppet. She wouldn't stay here and allow them to use her. When Devit was better, they'd leave. As soon as they could. In two weeks. She had to be ready.

She had decided.

She searched for Road, finding her rather quickly. She was walking to her room, wrapped in a robe, drying her hair off. She looked at Raina as she walked towards her and she smiled slow and almost creepily. Raina gave her a wary look, as if she didn't know what to make of such a smile. She didn't. Road sighed, pulling the towel off her head and holding it in her hands.

"I suppose you want to go home now. I can take you in a moment. I had to take a shower."

"Why?" She didn't mean to ask it, but it came out anyway. She knew she shouldn't be asking and asking might even make Road mad or something. She was as unpredictible as a wild animal sometimes. It was scary to think about.

"I caught a pretty Finder and tried to get some information out of them" She smiled in the creepy way again and Raina remembered – barely – not to react her words. She _wasn't_ an Exorist anymore. She _couldn't _be. She _shouldn't_ care. But she did.

"Did I offend you?" Asked Road. She realized that she had looked away from Road, she was biting her lip. She had reacted. She hadn't been able to stop herself after all. She looked at Road again, avoided eye contact.

"I used to be an Exorcist. I sometimes still consider myself one" she said the words in a low voice. She was trying not to piss off Road. She heard the girl laugh, a wide smile spreading across her face. She felt the golden eyes boring into her.

"You're not an Exorcist though, now are you?" Her words were playful and Raina knew to keep her mouth shut. "These people abandoned you, tried to kill you when they found out who you were in love with. Sounds like some really good friends."

"The...The Earl tried to kill Devit and Jasdero when he found out he was in love with me" She paused for a moment. "Sounds like a really stable family"

Road was silent. She wasn't sure if she was mad or not. She kept her eyes on the ground and when she looked up she saw one of Road's candles floating less than an inch from her nose. She flinched away. Road _did_ look angry. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut, but she hadn't been able to.

"I should kill you for that snarky comment, but I'll let you off easy this time. Wait here while I get dressed" Road turned and opened her door walking inside. The candle stayed where it was, the flame flickering. Then suddenly it dove towards her. She felt the candle slice the skin of her cheek, burrying itself into the wall right next to her. She stayed frozen for a long moment. She knew her cheek was bleeding, not badly, but she should look at it. She couldn't move though, she was frozen as if Road's angry stare had pinned her to the wall.

Road came back out and a door was created for Raina. Road led her through it, leaving her in her room back at her own house. The two of them did not speak during the trip and Raina had almost stumbled out of the doorway, scared that Road might attack her again. She looked back as the door disappeared. Then she closed her eyes for a moment. Another decision was made. She'd never fight with Road again.

It was kind of like floating.

That's what he felt like he was doing. He was floating. On what? That was a good question. He didn't ponder it though, not right now with him being so comfortable. The pain of that rock seemed a million miles away. Everything seemed a million miles away. His family, Raina, hell even his own twin brother seemed like he was a million miles away. For some reason, that was okay right now.

He wasn't sure how long he was floating, he wasn't sure when the first irritation hit him either. He only knew it was a sound like buzzing. It took him a long time, though maybe it wasn't so long as he wasn't truly sure, to realize that the buzzing noise was actually someone talking. Their voice was low and soft and he had trouble making out the words.

"I'll be back okay?"

The words were clear for a moment. Raina's soft voice hit him and he wanted to open his eyes because she sounded so sad. Why was she so sad? He couldn't put the pieces together in his mind. Everything seemed so groggy.

"Devi will want you here when he wakes up"

Jasdero's voice. He sounded sad and worried too. What was going on? He tried to focus his mind, tried to open his eyes again but he felt that floating sensation again and with a sigh he gave up, instead letting their vocies become buzzing noises again so he could rest. After all, he was so tired and he wouldn't be able to listen to them long if he was tired. He would have to rest and then he would wake up and make sure they were alright. If they weren't, he'd figure out a way to make them okay. It couldn't be that hard. They were two of the happiest people that he knew.

He didn't know how much longer it took for him to be able to hear the buzzing noise again. He knew the voice this time, without it becoming focused. Tyki. It was Tyki, it had to be him. No one annoyed Devit more sometimes so of course it was him. He tried to focus but it was hard. Jasdero's voice was a little clearer than Tyki's but not clear enough. He couldn't make out the exact words but he could understand who he was talking to, Jasdero. Comforting? Was he comforting him? Devit felt his mind try to wander, try to go back to the comfortable floating.

_No!_

He struggled against the feeling and clenched his fists. Somehow that movement – no it wasn't that movement – cause him pain. He opened his eyes, gasping, but squinting at the sudden light. It hurt to breathe deeply as he was. His chest hurt with every breath, it was down a bit lower that hurt more. It ached. He reached fort he covers on his body, intending to move them and make sure he was alright, but a hand stopped his. He turned his head.

"Jas"

He was surprised how crappy his voice sounded. Why was his throat so dry? Why did Jasdero look on the verge of bawling his eyes out? How long had he been asleep? Wait, when had he _fallen_ asleep?

"Devi!" Jasdero threw his arms around his older twin with clear joy. Devit saw Tyki start to stand out ofhte corner of his eye and then he realized why. It kinda hurt to be hugged so tightly, but Jasdero was crying and looked so upset, yet happy, that Devit didn't have the heart to tell him to get off.

"...And I thought that you'd d-d-die and then...and then...Rai was here...and she...oh she was so sad...but...but...she was...she was trying to comfort m-me and be strong...She left...sometime...I...I'm not sure...yesterday? B-but she'd be so happy and I'm...Devi I'm s-so sorry!" His stuttering words were a bit hard to understand through his sobs but Devit was trying to listen. "It...its all my fault. If...Well...I...I'm sorry!" Here his tears seemed to be of grief instead of joy and Devit took to patting his head softly to try and comfort him but he seemed to want to go on with his sobs and his speaking. In fact Jasdero didn't seem to be paying him much mind at all. "I...I should have moved. I...I don't even know what happened. O-one moment...everything is okay and the next...you _p-pushed_ me out of the way of a...something...a rock!"

"Jas...I'm okay. Really" He tried to comfort him but his brother had been apparently convinced he was going to lose him. He frowned. "Jas, calm down. Jasdero! Listen to me!" At least it didn't hurt to raise his voice.

Jasdero looked up at him, still looking rather upset with himself but at least he was done sobbing and trying to tell him something. That was one improvement there. He was silent and even removed one arm to wipe at the tears with his hand. Someone handed him a tissue. It was Tyki, but Devit didn't focus on that man, instead trying to get some answers out of Jasdero instead.

"How long was I out?"

"I...um..."

"A week and two days." It was Tyki who answered. "I only know because she was here for a week. Its been two days since she left."

"She?"

"Raina"

"Oh" Devit didn't know how to react to that. Not only had Jasdero been sitting, worried sick about him but Raina had too? He kind of felt bad. It was then he realized something else. "Why the hell am I _naked_?"

"Ask the Akumas" Tyki said with a shurg. "Now that you're going to live, I'm going to go smoke" With that he left the room. He didn't even wave. Devit's brow furrowed.

"Prick" He grumbled and then he looked at Jasdero who had pretty much climbed into bed with him, laying on top of the blankets though. "Uh...you look tired"

"Devi should rest too" Jasdero said with a yawn. He took up a bit of the large hospital-style bed stretching out and looking comfortable. Though his eyes were now closed, Devit shook his head.

"I got enough sleep to last me a while." He paused. "Was I really worrying you all a lot?" His voice was soft, he was trying to keep the worry out of it. He didn't like to admit that kind of stuff. Emotions were things he didn't get too caught up in after all. Jasdero was the emotional one.

"Yup...Jerk" Jasdero seemed to add the last part as a joke and Devit shook his head again, laying back in the blankets. He heard someone else come in, they were Akuma though he could sense it. The one came over and pulled him back up. They were gentle with him but it turned something inside him. Before he really knew what was happening he felt like he had coughed up one of his internal organs.

Or a the clot of blood that was now in his hand.

Jasdero had sat back up and was looking with shock at his bloodied hand as a bit of it dripped down onto the blankets. The Akuma didn't seem shocked. One of them, without breaking stride in trying to treat him just said "You suffered internal damage. Your body is just trying to sort things out. It'll go away soon enough. Just deal with it till then"

Devit wiped his hand on his blankets, told Jasdero to get up and then requested new sheets.

Raina had thought she would try and get some rest when she went to her "home" but instead she had been greeted by an angry and intolerent Adam. He had demanded to know where she went and how she had got there. She had avoided him or had tried to before he had hit her. It barely phased her. She remembered when the Akuma in Germany had almost killed her or how her Innocence had tried to rip her apart. She had laughed at him, saw his eyes narrow in anger before he stormed away, his face burning with what was probably embrassement.

Not that she cared.

She spent her time in her room, away from him now. She spent it either laying in bed, going through her closet or planning. She was trying to find things that she would need to take when they left in the quickly approching weeks. She would have to spring the idea on them here, hopefully away from the Akuma and their ears and eyes. They would, no doubt, tell the Earl that she was planning to take his Noah away.

She didn't know if it was a good idea though. She felt ill lately, tired, no matter how much sleep she got. Her back hurt sometimes and her chest and arms took to hurting again, aching her when she didn't tempt them. She wasn't sure what was up with her body anymore. She didn't know what to really do about it. She didn't think of talking to a doctor about it because she doubted that they would help her much at all.

So she stayed to herself and kept planning. She didn't know how long they would be traveling or to where. She knew her grandmother would always welcome her back, if she were still alive. She didn't want to go back there though if she could avoid it. She didn't want to risk her Grandmother and Grandfather. Besides that, it was only a matter of time before the Earl figured out how to get onto the grounds.

After four days of being away from Devit, she felt like she was going to go with crazy with worry and all this planning that she was doing. She didn't know if he was away or not either, which didn't make her feel much better. Also, when she left her room, Adam would make sure to stalk her in the halls and glare at her. He'd try to speak to her, angry words that dind't mean anything to her, but she ignored him. Sometimes she'd say things just to tempt him, her hands clenched in fists, but he never struck her again. It wasn't like Devit was around right now to kill him anyway.

Though she never did forget about the gun tucked into her boot.

It was the morning of the fifth day and she left her room to go get some tea in the kitchen. He was downstairs, sitting and drinking tea of his own, or maybe it was coffee? Didn't he say he prefered that at one point? She didn't remember, it wasn't like he really mattered.

"Actually downstairs for once?" He asked her, his tone biting.

"I come downstairs everyday, a few times a day. I have to eat too you know" She replied, her tone uncaring. He pressed his lips together as she started to walk away with her tea.

"Where did you get those scars anyway...and the cut on your face?"

She paused and looked back at him. He was watching her, waiting for her answer and she pressed her lips together. "I got the scars because I was being brave. This cut because I was being foolish" He opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off with a sigh. "I want someone to come up soon and collect this cup and I'd like the servant to bring me up some new shampoo. Something that has a lighter smell that what they gave me last time. Too strong. And it smelt horrible"

Then she walked away, up the stairs and into her room. She locked the door behind her and closed her eyes, leaning her forhead against it. She heard someone clear their throat and it startled her, making her drop her cup. It shattered on the ground by her feet and she turned quick, hoping to see two faces and she did. Wrong heights, not the faces she was hoping to see.

"You don't look happy to see me sister" Fae's voice was soft. "Or were you expecting someone else?" Tyki was by her side. A hopeful look dawned on her face.

"Are...is...Is he...?" she couldn't finish the sentence, she couldn't. If he wasn't...her hope started to wane.

"He has been up for two days. He can't leave or else he probably would have run right to you" Tyki said. "He seemed surprised that you had been there and left without waiting for him to wake up"

She moved away from the broken china to sit on the chair by her covered mirror. Fae seemed to be gazing at the mirror. Raina never uncovered it. It bothered her to look at her own reflection most times. She didn't admit that to anyone though.

"I'm sorry about our fight" She said at last to Fae. "We shouldn't fight, we're twins"

"Ah, but any sibling will fight. It's healthy. I brought you some new clothes though, a peace-making offer" She held out a bundle of clothes. Raina started to look at them but Fae used her wind to carry them out of her arms and place them on her bed. "Listen, there is another reason we came"

"Road told us about your fight" Tyki almost cut her off but he had waited till she finished her sentence. She cast a quick glance at him before returning her eyes to her sister.

"Its probably not a good idea to fight with her Raina. I stuck up for you this time but won't do it again." Then she walked closer to Raina and ran her fingers through her hair. "You know, you should cut your hair a little. It'll look cute with the outfit I got you" She smiled, and it was a knowing smile. She knew something that Raina didn't want her to know. "Don't cut it too short or you might be mistaken for me!" then she laughed as if she found that funny. Raina stared at her for a long moment trying to uncover what Fae was trying to tell her.

She walked back over to Tyki. "Almost lunch time Tyki. Why don't we go see if its all set up? Maybe we can eat a peaceful lunch for once" She smiled at him now. He shrugged and headed for her balcony. She followed.

"Don't any of you know how to use a door?"

"But we can fly so this is much more convient" Fae was already standing on the ledge, a grin on her face yet.

"They'll probably be to see you as soon as he can run without hurting himself more" Tyki told her as Fae jumped into the sky. The wind supported her, ruffling her skirt and her hair. She twirled in a circle as if she were dancing. Tyki walked over to join her, choosing to walk on the air as if it were soild. She took his hand and the wind was ruffling his clothing too. She watched them until they were well out of sight and then she turned, going back to the clothing her sister had brought her.

They were blue in color, she hardly ever wore blue though. She unfolded them staring at them in shock. They looked like a commoner's traveling clothes. A cloak, a dress and even shoes. She looked down to see a note that had dropped onto the floor at her feet. She reached down, laying the dress on the bed. It was a simple note, it was written in her sister's handwriting.

_Hide this from the Akuma_ it said _and everyone else until its time for you to go. I know all about your plan to escape. It's not hard to figure out what you're going to do next sister. You do the same thing again and again. You never learn do you? I hope you escape though, you deserve to be happy. I love you sis, no matter what I say, I really do. Take care of each other and stay hidden. I won't be there to save your ass this time. _

She couldn't help but smile at the note and she finally had a decent plan in mind. She finally knew exactly what she was going to do. It wasn't going to be easy, but if she had wanted something easy, she'd just stay here with Adam. No, she wanted happiness and by damn she was going to have it.

* * *

Busy, busy, busy...I'm sorry this took nearly a month. I've just been busy like crazy. Vacation and finals and wow. I also got a new computer and I'm still getting used to that. But here is the new chapter and I hope you enjoyed it. I hope to bring the new one out sooner and I'm sure I will. Things shouldn't be _as _crazy in the coming weeks.


	17. What You Want

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
What You Want**

It took another three days for Devit to be able to move around well. As soon as he could walk without causing himself too much pain he decided he wanted to see Raina, show her that he was alright. Jasdero made him promise to stop and take breaks on the way there. It would take longer but he was still coughing up a bit of blood. The Akuma assured him it would stop by next week though and that it was not a permanent condition.

At least that was good news. There didn't seem to be much of that these days.

He got dressed, feeling better to be in his old clothes. He looked and saw Road leaning against the open doorway just as he was pulling on his coat. She was eating a lollipop, looking straight ahead and not at him or Jasdero.

"How do you feel?" she asked. Her eyes scanned him quickly before she looked away again.

"Better" He answered. She nodded her head as if she were reassured by his simple word. He was glad she didn't demand anything more.

"I'll send you to her. I don't want you falling down a ditch or something" Her tone was somewhere between joking and not really joking. He wondered if she were insulting him, figured she must be and chose to ignore that fact. He knew he could really only ask so much from Road and teasing and joking and some insults just seemed to be her way.

He frowned at her but she was offering to open a doorway for him. "I think I'd see a ditch before I fell in it" He grumbled and she glanced at him, sporting a small smile. He glanced at Jasdero who was watching her almost warily. Sometimes Road was hard to read, or she was easy to misread. They had pissed her off plenty of times to prove that they were experts at such things.

"I hope you would, else you're the most hopeless Noah in history. Don't get hurt again anytime soon okay?" Her voice was worried about him, concerned, as it would be for any Noah. She loved her family even if she teased and tormented them often. She loved to tease Skin by giving him things that appeared to look sweet though they weren't. That was always funny and Devit and Jasdero had stolen that trick from her on a number of occasions. It had resulting in Skin starting food fights or even throwing the table. Actually he had broken the table once. Devit and Jasdero had fled before they could take the blame.

"I won't" He said with a small smile. She turned away, her door appearing in the doorway.

"Hurry. You must miss _her_" There was something bitter about the way she said 'her' but Devit couldn't imagine why and with a glance at Jasdero he knew that Jasdero was just as clueless. They used the door though, it wasn't the first time they had. They had used it a few times before. It was useful for getting from one place to the next quickly. They weren't planning to get to her house till the next morning actually. This would have them be there almost right away. It was late in the evening though, acceptable enough for them to go to bed, but they had chosen to go see Raina instead since he felt up to making the journey.

Soon they were in her room. She was lying on her bed, her hair spread out around and under her. She wasn't really dressed up, but she was dressed up enough that she could go out if she wanted, though she'd have to put her hair up. She glanced over towards them, probably hearing the sound of Road's door disappearing. She sat up fast and almost jumped off the bed and ran to him, she stopped just before him, her fingers tracing across his face.

"You're awake, you're okay" She whispered and then she threw her arms around him and kissed him. He had to hold her up else she probably would have fallen right on him. Then she hugged him tightly. She only let go for a moment to hug Jasdero as well before she looked up at him. "You're okay. You look better"

"Yeah, I feel a lot better now" He replied. She was smiling and that made him feel even better. Then she stepped back, her hands lingered on him for a moment.

"I have to show you something" She moved to the balcony, making sure it was locked before drawing curtains over it. She then moved to her door, locking that as well before she went to her bed. He couldn't quite see what she was doing but she pulled a bundle of clothing out before long and unfolded it, showing him the dress. It was quite plain, but blue in color. Which was strange considering it looked like commoner's clothes. Wasn't blue an expensive color? Instead of saying anything he let her speak.

"It's gonna be another week or so but when you're better, I say we leave" Her voice was hushed as if she were afraid someone were spying on them. He didn't sense anyone or hear anyone nearby but he didn't say anything. He just watched her. "It has matching shoes too, boots, that look pretty rough and this dress...doesn't it look a little bit worn?" She ran her fingers down the dress as if savoring the rough fabric.

"Leave?" Devit's voice was low. "I thought we were going to think about this more..."

"I _have_ thought about this Devit" She said, folding the dress. "I think we need to go _now_. _Soon_. We can't stay here" She moved closer to him, to look him directly in the eye. He saw the cut on her cheek, the bruise, the slight swelling. "_I_ can't stay here"

His finger brushed against her cheek. "I know" His voice was soft, but resigned now. He saw by the look in her eyes, the fear, the longing, she could not stay here. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his for a moment, her eyes closed.

"But you must get better first. That is more important than anything else to me" He nodded lightly at that comment. He agreed with that. He was in no shape to go out and run around while the Earl tried to figure out if he had been betrayed or not. He really didn't want to betray the Earl. Actually he and Jasdero had both mulled over getting her somewhere safe and then going back and forth as they did now. Of course the Earl would be pissed, but he'd get over it.

They all heard movement outside the door and she tensed. "Go, into the bathroom!" She hissed softly. She pushed him away and turned to face the door. He didn't move and he didn't want to especially when he heard the voice on the other side.

"Raina?"

It was Adam. That bastard! He felt his body tensing, readying itself to attack Adam. Raina turned back to him and Jasdero who were both glued to floor as it seemed. They were not leaving her with him again. If he hurt her again, even if he were in the bathroom...Did she think that a door would stop him?

"Go! Please!" She was looking at him again. Then she looked at Jasdero who must have caved because he tugged Devit backwards into the bathroom shutting the door behind them both. Devit stood there, glaring at the door as if it might melt but instead it stayed where it was. Then he heard a door open in the other room. "What do you want Adam?"

"I thought I heard someone in here" His voice sounded tired.

"You're obviously hearing things. Go away" Her voice sounded annoyed. He heard her start to walk away but she stopped abruptly. He suspected that Adam had grabbed her. "Let me go!" So he was right. He tensed, but Jasdero put his hand on his shoulder. He glared at his brother but turned his attention back to what was happening out in the bedroom.

"Raina, I want to talk to you" His voice was soft and almost kind. Devit wasn't fooled by it though. He hoped Raina wouldn't be. He hoped she'd shoot that son of a bitch right in the fucking head.

"What is it?" Her voice hadn't dropped or become kind but she was giving him a chance. He drew his gun and clenched it in his fist. He was ready to kick the door and kill that asshole himself.

"You don't love me do you?"No shit.

"No, but do you know love me?

"No. I guess the feeling is mutual then isn't it?" He sighed. "Do you think you'd ever love me?"

"No...I don't think I would."

"Why did you want to marry me then?"

"I had to. I didn't have a choice Adam. Sometimes we don't have choices" He heard her sigh. "I wouldn't have if I didn't have to"

"Oh...that's almost hurtful"

"It should be. But at least you could have found a wife that might love you someday"

"True." His voice was thoughtful. "Raina. I think I might love you someday. I'm going to work to make you love me"

She didn't reply.

"Raina?" She didn't reply again, but she must have made some sort of motion for him to go on because he did. "...I'll see you tomorrow. I'm retiring for a while. I'm not feeling well" Then he heard the man walk out of the room. "Good night" The door closed. It was silent in the room.

Devit didn't know if it was okay to come out yet or not and so he stayed where he was for a long moment. Raina didn't come for him and he didn't hear her move in the room. Finally he opened the door and saw her standing at the window to her balcony, staring out into nothing. He didn't know if he should go to her, or say anything because she stood there so blankly.

"Rain?"

She didn't turn to him. "It's not really fair is it?" She asked. "That I be in love with you, yet married to him...It's not fair to you or to him" She sighed, sounding sad and upset. "I wonder sometimes if I'm selfish or greedy. I want freedom, I want you, I want us to be away from the Earl, but then I do as he asks and marry a man I won't love. Then I want to take you _both_ away from the only family you've known for years. Am I selfish? I am...I'm so selfish. I just want...something."

She paused, thinking about something. She took a deep breath and without turning to them she started to go on.

"I want to be living in that village with you! I'd want to be your wife and come home every day to see you! I want a normal life! I want to be happy and to have children and see them grow up and be curious little trouble makers like we were when we were kids. I want to see them grow up! I want them to get married and then have grandchildren and a normal life!" She struck the glass with her hand but it didn't shatter but it did make him jump as it shook in the pane. "I want a normal life..." She leaned against the glass, pressing her cheek against it.

He stood there for a long moment, unable to go comfort her because she had never said all those things before. He had always just assumed that their relationship would never work out in the end; one of them was going to die. But what if they had both been normal? What if the Innocence had never picked her? What if Noah had never picked him? Would they have been married? Would they have had children? So many things could have been different but they weren't.

He walked to her, putting his arms around her. "This is how things are Rain. We can't change them" He told her. His words were strict, but soft. He had to make sure that she would understand this. "We can't get married or have children to watch them grow up. We can't watch them get married and help them raise grandchildren. I was picked by Noah and you were picked by the Innocence. We were never meant to have that kind of life"

He felt her sobbing. Her hair covered her face and he couldn't see her tears but he could hear her crying, smell the salty tears on her face. "But I _want_ it" she moaned.

"Sorry Rain. We all can't have what we want"

She was silent and so was he. He felt Jasdero watching them. He moved, Devit heard and half saw him, towards the bed. Ah, that was a good idea. She needed to rest. She was emotionally damaged yet. She had been strong for a while but he should have expected a relapse. He moved to pick her up but when he tried, his still healing body protested. He stepped away from her, covering his mouth. She looked at him through the long tangles of her hair. He tried to wipe the blood away before she could see it. He thought she did but Jasdero moved to her side and she looked at him instead.

"Rai, why don't you lie down? You don't look well" He led her to the bed and then Devit took her place by the window to look outside. A day that had started so bright...it looked like it was going to storm now. He didn't know how to take that. Maybe the world itself was warning them that things were about to change, that something was about to happen. He looked at Raina, lying on her bed, holding Jasdero's hand and already almost asleep.

One more thought crept through his mind...What if she never met them? Would she be happier? He didn't know how to answer that, because he knew that if he lost her now he might as well have fallen in a dark hole. He knew Jasdero felt close to the same way, but they never spoke of those feelings.

He moved to the bed to sit on the end. He clenched his blood-coated hand in his lap and laid his other hand on her leg. She knew it was him, he knew that. She sighed and she seemed to relax some more, drifting off into an uneasy sleep already. She must have exhausted herself emotionally, but that was okay. She needed to sleep it off. She'd feel better when she woke up.

At least that was what he hoped.

They ended up remaining overnight. Raina had slept through the rest of the day. He wondered if she just wasn't sleeping at all. Maybe she was just exhausted in general. In the end he and Jasdero had decided to just go to sleep, thinking that she would be alright all night long. She was probably so tired she would stay asleep all night.

Actually they had been to wrong. Devit woke up in the middle of the night because she felt something on the bed shifting. Figuring it was just Jasdero moving around, he reached out to shove his brother, only to feel an empty space between him and his brother. Besides that when he opened his eyes, he saw Jasdero was sleeping on his side on the bed. He looked around for Raina and heard the bath running. What was she getting a bath for at this time? He got up from the bed, leaving his coat on the floor as well as his shoes. He didn't need them to just go tell her to get out of the stupid bath and go back to bed. He found her sitting in the slowly filling tub.

Her legs were folded against her chest and her arms around them. The water wasn't that high yet. She looked up at him when he came in.

"Sorry" She said softly.

He would admit that he was a bit confused and before he could ask her what the hell she was talking about she spoke again.

"For freaking out. I don't usually freak out anymore and then I did..."

"Oh" He said. He felt like he should say something else to reassure her it was already but he didn't really know what to say. She looked down at the water.

"I've been weird lately. Not really feeling good I guess. I'm...I don't know. I must be going crazy. It's all a lot of stress and it's wearing me out to be honest" The water was high enough now so she reached over and turned it off but remained in her curled up position.

"Well I'm sure you'll be fine soon"

"Yeah. I hope" She replied and then there was a long awkward moment between them. He couldn't really remember when he had really been at a loss for what to say with her. He usually just spoke to her bluntly. That seemed to work best with her because she reacted the same way. Bluntness seemed to work for both of them.

As of now, they were both silent. She just sat in the steaming water. He took a seat on the edge of the tub. He was considering rolling up his pants so he could stick his feet in the warm water.

"Do you want to get in? That water is warm. It feels nice. I'm just sitting in here because I'm trying to relax" She said. She didn't seem bothered at the idea of sharing the water with him, but then again, it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before. But he stayed on the edge. She didn't speak again. She sat in the water, silent and unmoving. He sat on the edge just as silent, but he kicked his one foot against the tub. It hardly made any noise because he was being careful not to make much noise. He didn't want to wake up Jasdero. He turned to look at her. Her hair floated on the water, spreading around her. She had some of it moved behind her ear while the rest spilled in front of her face.

"You let your hair get really long" She looked up at him. "I thought you didn't like long hair"

"Jasdero has long hair"

"Not as long as yours"

"I guess" Her tone was dismissive.

He turned to look at her again. She was still just sitting there. The steam was just starting to fade from the tub as the water started to cool. Then she put her hand on the side of the tub. He rose to let her get out but she was just leaning back, letting most of her hair in the water.

"Raina I'm worried about you. You're acting strange" She looked at him and sat up a little. She moved to the edge of the tub and leaned against it, laying her arms down so she could rest her head on them. She glanced down then.

"I know you are. I'm just…I don't know. I'm not sure what's wrong with me"

"Maybe you should see a doctor. Maybe you're ill"

"I'm sure I'm just stressed"

Her voice wasn't very reassuring. He then took her hands and pulled her up.

"Get out and come back to bed" he suggested. She stood from the tub, letting him lead her out. She grabbed a towel wrapping it around her thin body. He looked around; she hadn't brought in another nightgown with her. It didn't matter. He saw her legs, scared from when he had gotten angry after what Adam did to her.

The thought made him shake.

"Devit?"

He looked into her violet eyes, and then he grabbed her and pulled her close, holding her for a moment. He was trying not to think of it. He had hated Adam before but now the hate he felt was near uncontrollable.

"I want to take you away from here now. I want to get you away from him now because I hate him. I hate him Raina and I hate that you have to spend your time here alone with him. You're mine and he can't….he can't have you. I want to kill him though. I want him to die. I want to kill him."

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him, comforting him and at the same times he knew the words she was going to say.

"Oh honey, we can't always have what we want"

He sighed, calming himself because he had told her that. He knew that this was something that could come true. He narrowed his golden eyes, though she couldn't see. He wished that something terrible happened to Adam. He let go of her, holding her at arm's length.

"I'll get you a nightgown." He said softly and he walked out of the room. When he came back in, she was sitting on the edge of the tub.

"I have lots of scars" she said softly. He heard her. Maybe if he had been a regular person, he wouldn't have heard her, but he did.

"So do I" he said simply.

"But I'm a woman" She looked up at him. "Women are supposed to be beautiful"

"And you are. And you're brave. And stubborn too" She rolled her eyes at him and tugged her night gown from his fingers so she could slip it over her head. He waited till she did to go on. "You seem to like danger too much, but when you get yourself too deep you seem to think you can also dig yourself out which sometimes you can't. Then you also have a unlady like mouth on you _and_ you're pretty violent"

"Hey!" She said, pouting.

"But that's what makes you interesting." He said with a grin. "I couldn't imagine dating a normal girl" Then he held his arms open for her. She gave him a look before leaning against him. He wrapped his arms around her. "That's why I don't care that you got scars or that you're brave or stubborn or you're unlady like or you curse or that you're violent. You're what I know Rain."

"Maybe that's a bad thing"

"Or it's the best thing" He would have liked to have picked her up. His body would protest though so instead he took her hand and led her out of the bedroom and back to the bed where Jasdero was still sleeping peacefully. She climbed up on the bed and sat on the edge watching him. He climbed up to sit next to her and kiss her gently before saying "Okay, bed time. Go to sleep Raina" She smiled at him. He could see it easily in the darkness.

"Make me"

"I would but my brother is here" She just laughed gently and laid on the bed, swinging her feet around and sinking up the warm covers. He lay by her and she cuddled against his side, a smile on her face, her damp hair lying across his arm.

"Devi" She whispered "I'm glad you're still here for me" She paused. "I love you"

She fell asleep before he could reply. He felt relaxed though and he closed his eyes and before he knew it, he actually fell asleep too.

When the morning came it was a little of a shock. He felt a lot better already, as if he had rested for several days and was fit to travel once more. He knew Raina would probably have some qualms about that, but he suddenly felt like it was now or never. He could see that Adam was going to try his hardest to get her to see he was a great man and that he deserved her love. He didn't, but that wasn't the point. Devit knew he was territorial with his things, such as toy when he was younger and Raina now that he was older. He knew that Jasdero loved her as a sister and so that was why he didn't mind him around her. But Adam? No, he was a different story.

When he opened his golden eyes he glanced at Raina. Her head was resting on his chest, her hair tangled over him. Jasdero was asleep too, looking like he might fall off the bed. Devit nudged his brother gently with is foot, careful to not disturb Raina. He startled awake and looked at Devit with wide golden eyes. Then he looked around as if looking for something to be aware of. He settled back against the pillows and looked at Raina, who was dressed in a nightgown when she had fallen asleep in her clothes.

"Did Rai wake up and change?" he asked softly.

Devit shook his head and explained what had happened the night before in a soft voice. "I think we should leave in two days"

"You're not recovered yet" Jasdero whispered back.

"That doesn't matter right now" he looked down at Raina. "I want her to be safe. She can't be safe here." And she was too close to Adam for his liking.

"I suppose you're right…" He agreed, but he didn't look happy about it at all.

"We leave today. We go back to the Earl, do as we need to and then come back in two days. We'll leave. When she wakes up we'll tell her" She was still sleeping peacefully in his arms. She shifted a little, muttering something in her sleeping.

"Alright…but Devi…"

"It'll be okay Jasdero, we'll figure it out" He smiled at his brother and his brother got up from the bed and walked away. He didn't go far but the movement must have rustled Raina somewhat because she blinked and opened her eyes slowly. She yawned and sat up. She looked to where Jasdero was now, combing his hair with a discontent look on his face. He tried to brighten it with a smile when she looked at him but it didn't quite touch his eyes. She slid out of bed and Devit let her go, watching her.

Jasdero was sitting on her chair, using her comb, but she never cared. He was quick at combing his hair and very often combed her directly afterwards. He smiled at her again, but it wasn't a warm smile. It was more of a worried one. She stood in front of him, looking down at him. Devit imagined her eyes held concern, but he couldn't quite see and didn't want to bother them.

"Jas? Is something wrong?" She asked him softly. Devit heard though.

He paused but then nodded his head. "Devit wants to leave in two days"

"You guys are welcome to stay as long as you want, you know that" She said, relief in her voice. Her face must have shown it too.

"I mean he wants to take you with us"

She was silent.

"In two days?"

"Yes"

Another pause. Devit sat up on the bed, waiting to see if she were upset or what with him. She was probably going to tell him that leaving so early would be bad for them, he was still injured and all this other crap he didn't care about. He wanted her safe and happy. She was neither here.

She looked at him. Her eyes were a mix of relief, fear, happiness and hesitance. He glanced away, waiting for her words. He heard her speak to Jasdero instead.

"Maybe it's better if we do. No one would expect it right now, would they?" Jasdero was silent. It was a displeased silence though. Devit could tell that. He sighed and went back to combing his hair though.

"If you say so Rai" He didn't speak again, even though she stood there waiting for him to speak. Devit felt as though his younger brother might be upset, almost angry with him and Raina. She wanted to escape and Devit wanted her out of there, but he was still hurt. Maybe Jasdero was worried about his health? Probably. They were twins after all and very close.

"Everything will be alright Dero" He told him from the bed and Jasdero stood, having Raina sit in the seat instead.

"If you say so Devi" He replied as he started to comb Raina's hair. Devit wished there was a mirror there so he could see the expression on her face. Jasdero looked a bit upset, but he imagined Raina was happy now. She was going to get out of here; she was going to be free again. Would it bring her completely back to what she used to be? He absently watched a fly buzz around the room. It buzzed towards Raina and when she spotted it, she stood, clutching her nightgown and screaming.

Well some things about her would never change.

He couldn't help but laugh as Jasdero quickly killed the insect so she would stop yelling and sit back down. She glared towards him for a moment, her violet eyes narrowed but then she smiled too. She laughed at her own foolish fear. Jasdero was even smiling.

They were probably all thinking of the same memory – the first day they met.

And what a wonderful memory it was.

* * *

Alright, another chapter out finally! Sorry, school started back up so I may be a bit slow on the updating, but thanks for the reviews to keep me going guys! Also~ If you haven't checked my stories, I suggest you do. I am now releasing _So I Thought Oneshots_! ( old news I know, but in case you haven't seen.. ) It's exactly what it sounds like. One-shots that have no place in So I Thought. Some of them were written before the actual story too. So take a peek, I'll be putting more of them up over time. So leave me some reviews okay guys?


	18. Running Away

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Running Away**

The twins had left that afternoon, hoping to get back to the Noah Manor by nightfall. They actually got there much earlier. The rest and time he had spent with Raina had seemed to help his healing process a little bit. He was already feeling much stronger. Maybe that was because he had decided. He and Jasdero and Raina had decided. There was nothing that could stop them now. Once she was safe though, safe away from Adam and the Earl and the Black Order, what would they do? Would they return to the Earl and refuse to tell him where she was? Or would they figure something else out by then?

It was too big to decide right now, so instead, as they walked through the doors of the Manor, they cleared their minds of such thoughts. They walked down the entrance hall and stopped, seeing the Earl in the sitting room. Tyki and Road were within the room as well. Road was playing with her doll. She threw it at Tyki and giggled when he gave her an annoyed look. He sighed and dangled the doll from his fingers before throwing it back to her. She squealed loudly, probably in one of her better moods. She looked back at them, a smile on her face and it looked like there was some blood splashed on her outfit.

"Jasdevi!" She cried in a sing-song voice. Tyki and the Earl looked at them too.

"What are you boys doing back so soon? I didn't expect you for a couple of days" The Earl's words surprised them. They glanced at each other.

"You didn't?"

"No, I figured you two would rest at her house near her. I know how you admire her" Maybe admire was an odd word for him to use for how they thought of Raina but they didn't correct the Earl.

"We thought you'd want us back already" Devit said. "We didn't know we could stay, else we would have"

"Well go back then" The Earl smiled at them, not that he didn't always smile when he looked like that.

"Ah…Devi isn't fully healed. I don't think we should go back right away" Jasdero said, stepping forward a little. "Can we rest the rest of today and tomorrow and go early the next day?"

The Earl thought about that for a moment and then nodded. "That makes sense. The more you rest, the better you'll be"

"How long can we stay when we go to see her?" Asked Devit, as he always would, as if he had no other plans, as if that was it.

"How does four days sound? You two have been good boys, such good boys and deserve some time with her." Devit and Jasdero smiled.

"Thank you" Jasdero said with obvious happiness. Then he turned back to his brother. "C'mon, Devi. You need to rest." Then he tugged on his arm and pulled him away from the watching Noah. He tugged him all the way to their room. After the door was shut behind them they both let out a sigh of relief. It went without saying that they didn't think they'd get away with that. They had though and they had some cover. If they left the same day, they might get a three day head start. Or they might not, but they hoped they would. Whatever would keep her safer. Maybe they could hide her in two and then come back. They could keep to the old plan of running back and forth, without telling her of course.

Devit lay down on the bed, hand over his chest. It was throbbing slightly in time with his heartbeat in that painful way. Still, he was happy to be alive. What would Jas and Rain do without him after all?

"Devi" Jasdero crawled onto the bed as well. "Devi…Do you think Raina will be okay till we get back there?"

"Of course. She has guns and bullets and she's smart and stubborn. She'll be fine"

"You two are a lot alike." Jasdero laughed lightly then. "Sometimes I wonder how Devi and Rain manage not to fight with each other a lot"

"We're not that alike when you think about it. I wonder…" His voice trailed off, as he thought.

"Wonder what?" asked Jasdero.

"I wonder why…or if…we had been normal why she'd want to be with…me. She comes from a wealthy family. I could never give her that" He sighed. "If we still lived in that village or even if we didn't, I'd never really be able to give her what some rich asshole could. I still can't." He sighed and Jasdero looked at him with a frown.

"I think that's why she liked you"

"What?"

"She could have had everything – maybe she already did. She didn't seem to want it though. People wanted her for her money and you want her because…." He left that open.

"Because I actually fell in love with her" He rolled his eyes. "Stupid. Giving up the world for love"

"Devi, we are her world. She's already told us that"

"Still doesn't man she's not stupid"

"You don't mean that"

"You're right I don't. I'm just bitching" He messed up his own hair, more so than usual and laid looking at the ceiling. They were both silent for a long moment and then he heard Jasdero move on the bed. He didn't look at his golden-haired brother though.

"Devi…How did you fall in love with Rain?"

Devit instantly felt his face heat up in a crimson blush. He actually didn't know how or why he had actually fallen for her. Just that he did. He knew that over time it became apparent from how protective of her that he loved her, but now it was hard for him to pinpoint exactly what made him fall in love with her.

"I uh…"

"I think you liked her since we were little right?"

"Uh…well…"

"And over time that crush became love right?"

"Well…I…I don't know if you could say that…"

"Why not? It seems simple"

"Love isn't simple"

"Well I love Devi and Rai. It's simple" Jasdero seemed so sure that it was the right answer. Devit himself, didn't understand half his feelings so he wasn't sure what was so simple about it. Feelings were complicated, which was why he hated talking about them. So he did what he did best in times like this. He evaded the question. He rolled on his side, putting his back to his brother.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna sleep for a while" He said simply and then he closed his eyes, hoping Jasdero would just accept that he wasn't going to answer him or talk about this and go to sleep himself. Jasdero was silent for a long time and Devit was almost asleep when he said;

"You're just grumpy" And then he felt Jasdero move on the bed and probably the other went to sleep himself.

The next day dragged by slowly and Devit hated that he was being forced to relax. He lay on the bed most of the day though, thinking of a place to take her. He couldn't think of any place safe enough and he thought maybe he could take her here or here but then he remembered there were probably Akuma there that would just kill her. He didn't know where to take her that she might be protected. He sighed to himself. Jasdero was off finding them food. They were gonna try to eat in their room, but he doubted that would happen.

"Devit" The door opened with a gust of wind and Fae walked in. "Time for dinner. Get up, let's go, Jasdero is waiting for you there" Devit looked over at her.

"Why didn't Jas come and get me?"

"Because I told him I would" She walked over the bed and the door snapped shut with a flick of her fingers. She leaned over him. He got ready to push her off and exclaim something rude when she whispered in his ear, so lightly that he almost didn't hear it.

"Take her back to where we all went. Take her and then figure something else out later." Then she leaned away and flicked the door back open before grabbing him and yanking him to his feet. He was shocked by her words so he didn't cry out. Where they all went? That house? That place? But wouldn't that be obvious? She didn't seem to car. When they hit the hallway, he tugged his arm out of her hand, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you've got to be hungry and you're heading to her house again tomorrow right? Jeeze, don't you want to have the energy to get there? Idiot" She grabbed his arm again, leaning close against him. "Don't be stupid and say anything. Don't ruin this" She whispered, like a breath of wind, into his ear. Then she shoved him first into the dining hall. He stumbled and almost fell on his face. She walked in and tossed her hair out of her face. "He didn't want to come. I had to drag him here"

"Well when you come slamming into my room!" He growled at her and then he stomped over to his seat and sat down, crossing his arms across his chest. He gave her the evil eye but she just smiled, sadly. She fixed her expression into one of disinterest a second later though. They didn't need anyone to know how she had helped him.

Dinner had barely started when Skin started complaining. Devit groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Do you have a problem Devit?" growled the large man. Devit, leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up as well. Fae glared at him but he ignored it. He folded his arms behind his head with a smile.

"Maybe I do" he replied. "What the fuck are you gonna do about it?" He asked, his tone cocky as it would be back when he first joined up. Skin growled at him and Devit leaned back a little further so Jasdero could hit him in the face with three eggs. He and his brother laughed while Skin roared like an animal. He swung his one arm blindly, the other struggling to wipe the egg from his eye. Devit was laughing so hard he didn't see the fist swing towards him. It clobbered him hard in the chest, sending him flying into the wall behind him.

It sent the breath out of his chest. He automatically curled into a ball to try and keep himself together. He coughed, but there was no blood. It just hurt like hell. He took his time standing back up. He wasn't really angry, just surprised. Skin was watching him warily, like he might attack him. Instead he smiled in a way that said 'I'm-gonna-get-you-later".

Then he sat down and tried to ignore the ache in his chest that screamed every time he moved. He ignored it though, not wanting anyone to think that anything was wrong.

Raina was getting ready. Today was the day. It was only nine in the morning, but she couldn't sleep anymore, though sleeping till noon would have been easier. She had already combed out her hair, put on the dress that went under the main dress. It was just plain white, it would keep her warm. The sleeves would show under the blue, but that was because the dress she had was made so you could wear it in the winter or summer. Hot or cold weather. Not everyone could afford a lot of dresses. She was lacing it up right now, it laced in the front so she could do it herself. She heard her balcony door open and glanced up from her work to see the twins.

They were standing there looking surprised. She was surprised too. To get here this early that had to have left really early this morning. Jasdero was the first to react, covering his eyes (though nothing inappropriate was showing) and turning around. "Uh…" She started. Devit grabbed his brother and started to drag her towards the bed so he could at least sit down. Raina hurried up with the last bit of the lacing and then grabbed the other dress, pulling it on and lacing it up as well.

"Jasdero, its okay to look" Her tone held something of a joke in it. He glanced up and she smiled. They both looked at her in what looked to be surprised. Her smile faded "What?" she asked.

"N-nothing" stuttered Devit, glancing away.

"Rai! You smiled just like you used to!" Jasdero grinned, looking extremely happy.

"What do you mean like I used to?" she asked, grabbing the boots on the floor and moving to put them on. She sat on the bed by Jasdero and moved the dress and the under-dress to start lacing them up. She had black leggings on underneath in an effort to keep her legs warm while they traveled as well. She put on both of the brown boots and stood up. She walked back to her vanity and grabbed a belt. She had a makeshift gun-holder on it, where a golden gun stuck out and a small dagger in it. She didn't want to be completely useless on their travels.

She was reaching for the cloak draped across the back of the chair when the door knob started to turn. Quicker than she had though, the twins dashed into the bathroom – the only place they could hide – and the door opened. She still had her fingers on the cloak. She heard something clutter the ground and the sound of two teacups shattering.

"Raina? What are you doing?"

She stood frozen for a moment before she straightened and turned to face Adam. She kept her facial expression neutral. She wasn't going to show him anything and she was going to be honest with him.

"I'm leaving" She said. "For good"

He took a step over the broken china and towards her, arms open and a look of sadness on her face. She held her ground. "Why?"

"I don't love you. I can't do this" She reached up and took her wedding band off and dropped it on the vanity. It clinked against the wood. He looked at the ring and then her. He marched up to her and grabbed her arm, hard. Her nerves sparked and her bones felt achy but she didn't object even as his eyes narrowed in rage. "Let me go Adam" She kept her voice calm.

"Have you been off whoring somewhere? Little…" He raised his hand and then there was a click of a gun getting ready to fire.

"Hit her. Do it. Fucking hit her so I have a good reason to kill you"

It was Devit. The look on his face was….was just pure rage. He wanted to kill Adam more than anything. It reminded her of the time she had seem them destroy Innocence. How…how cruel he looked right now.

"Devit. Stop" She said, her voice soft now. She was actually scared, her instinct was to be scared of him when he was like this.

"So you _have_ been a whore this whole time. Little bitch" She didn't even realize that Adam was shaking her, trying to turn her attention back to him. She was focused on Devit.

"Devit, please" her voice was a little louder now as she tried to break through to him.

"Let her go! You fucking bastard, let her go!" Devit's voice was angry.

"Go to hell" Adam growled back.

"Devit! _Please!_" She called to him, but he didn't even spare her a glance. She turned back to Adam and did something that she would admit she had wanted to do. She kneed him in the stomach and then punched him as hard as she could manage when he was distracted. He fell to the ground with a loud thump, releasing her from his grip.

She hurried to Devit's side to see Jasdero a little behind him. Jasdero looked angry, but worried. He moved forward to make sure she was alright. Devit kept his gun pointed at Adam. She turned and grabbed his arm, trying to pull it down.

"Stop it Devit! Stop it!" She told him. He finally looked at her.

"Jas, get her off me" Jasdero pulled her away, but she knew he wasn't doing it because his brother told him too. Devit looked dangerous now. She turned to Adam then. Devit's finger was already on the trigger, but he could fire, not without Jasdero. She moved to be in his way of firing at Adam anyway.

"Get out! Get out now!" she told him.

"You're a little bitch you know that Raina" He was sitting up and rubbing at his sore face. "And you know what else? I'm done too"

"Good. You can have this house; you can have all my money. I'm taking some of it but the rest is yours. I don't care what you tell other people about me. Just stay away from me Adam. Next time I see you, I will let him kill you. So stay away from me" He got up rubbing his face yet and walked out of the room. She could almost feel the hate pulsing off him. Luckily he was just a human and wasn't a strong enemy.

She turned back to Devit. He had lowered his gun and was just looking at the ground looking pissed off. She looked at him, waiting for him to say something but he didn't so she sat down at her vanity. She took a small ribbon and tied her hair up and then slid the ribbon down until it was just to her shoulder blades. Jasdero was busy trying to get his brother to react so he didn't notice her take the dagger out.

The two twins looked up when the saw the blonde clump fall to the floor.

"Raina!" Screeched Jasdero. "What did you do?" She turned to look at them, her hair now just past her shoulders. She smiled again, the old smile she used to give them.

"It was too long and heavy. So I cut it off" Her reason was so simple and she said it so plainly. Devit looked at her for a long time and then sighed, eyes darting away. "Oh and why did you over-react Devit? I have a gun, I have a knife"

"I didn't want to see him hit you. I couldn't stand the thought" His voice was still angry.

She stood, slipping the cloak around herself. It was a nice cloak with a hood and a nice purple brooch to clasp it shut. She fastened it around herself and turned to grab the black gloves sitting on the vanity yet. Her dagger was back in it sheath. The gloves were black and fingerless, made of leather and would hold themselves onto her hand by her middle fingers. She slipped them on, slipping them over her white sleeves and making sure they were on good and tight.

"Well it doesn't matter" She said softly. "I'll be safe now, won't I?" She asked walking over to him. He still didn't look over at her. "Devi, don't be that way." She slipped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes to be equal height with him. "We're leaving today remember? You should be happy"

"I guess" he grumbled. He scooped her up in his arms. She leaned up to kiss him gently.

"Let's go. C'mon Jasdero" Jasdero pulled up the hood on his coat. "Oh wait! Grab that bag on my bed! It has money and supplies for us!" Jasdero grabbed the bag and handed it to her. "I figured we'd better be prepared this time!"

"Probably a good idea" Jasdero smiled. "Is there food in there?"

"A little bit, but I have enough money to make sure we can eat no matter where we go" She replied.

"Are we ready to go?" Asked Devit, his tone was calmer now. She glanced up at him, holding the bag closer to her.

"Yeah, let's go" Then he and Jasdero dashed to the door, and threw it back open. Jasdero jumped down first, Devit jumped up onto the railing, balancing there for a long moment.

"Are you sure this is what you want Raina?"

"I don't want it, I need it. I need my freedom. I need to be with you. I love you Devit:

"I know" Then he jumped, following after his brother.

They moved, silently through the morning. They avoided the town, instead cutting through the dense woods. They ran just like they used to with her. She had to huddle against Devit who had pulled up his own hood because of the cold. It was getting colder and colder by the day. Jasdero ran by his side. They had their guns put away but she wished Jasdero had gloves. He had exchanged his vest for a long sleeve jacket that was close in design so he wouldn't get cold, but still, as fast as they were moving and with this cold air…

They ran most of the day and by the evening they stopped near a small village and walked the way there, keeping their hoods up and heads down. When they reached the village it was far from quiet. People were moving about trying to get things done before the quickly approaching night. Nights were longer now, but they still had to get all the work they could get done now.

She moved towards a tavern, the boys following her. She was hungry and knew that they had to be as well. There was also an inn above the tavern. They planned to stay there that night. When they walked in there were men already in there, with drinks and some were actually already drunk.

She pushed her hood down and walked to a table and sat down. Devit sat down by her and Jasdero across. They both kept their hoods up though. A woman a little older than herself came and took their order before wandering away, looking annoyed at the loud men across the bar.

She brought their drinks and some food to their table where they ate in silence. The two boys ate like they were starving. She supposed they were hungry considering that they hadn't eaten probably since that morning and they had been running for a better part of the day. She watched them both to make sure they didn't choke while she ate slowly.

"…don't know where we're supposed to find it…" She caught a snippet of conversation, a voice that was familiar. She looked up and was surprised to see a young woman with long pigtails walking through the tavern next to a grey-haired young man.

"It has to be here somewhere Lenalee. Your brother is hardly ever wrong" She laughed at that and they grey-haired boy smiled. She just stared. Lenalee must have felt her eyes because she turned to look at her. She looked at the two next boys. She couldn't see Jasdero but she was willing to bet Lenalee could see Devit with his hood up. She touched his arm.

"I'm going to get us a room. Tell them to put the food on our tab." She kissed his cheek and hurried away, up the stairs to find the tavern mistress. She heard Lenalee and other following. She had a feeling that Devit knew what she was really doing. He must have sensed her Innocence. He didn't say anything though so she was sure that he didn't care. Besides that, she really did need to find the woman in change of the tavern, she imagined she might be up here in the Inn area.

She walked down the hallway and found a woman who looked like she worked there. "Excuse me, are you the woman in charge of the Inn?" she asked, walking up to her.

"I'd like a room for three people. Just one room. Doesn't matter about the beds" She led her down the hall, only a few feet and opened a room dubbed number 15. She smiled and thanked the woman and opened the door. The woman walked away looking tired, just as Lenalee and the boy walked down the hall towards her. She smiled at her and brushed into the room. Lenalee soon followed. The boy looked wary but entered as well.

"Raina?" Lenalee's voice was worried and questioning and sad and surprised all at one. Raina stood by the window and was looking out it. She turned back to look at Lenalee and she smiled.

"Yeah, its me"

Lenalee looked like she wanted to cry. "So…they didn't kill you?"

"Why would they kill me Lenalee?" She asked, her voice surprised. "They love me, remember?"

"I thought the other Noah…had killed you"

"Noah?" The boy at her side exclaimed looking worried.

"Yeah, I fell in love with a Noah. I used to be an Exorcist"

"You aren't anymore?" Now the boy sounded suspicious.

"I might as well show you too. Lavi saw and Ghost saw too" She took off her cloak and gloves. She carried them over the chair and sat them down. Then she rolled up her sleeves so they could see the scars on her forearm and wrist. It disappeared under her sleeve so they know it continued.

"How…how…." Lenalee seemed lost for words.

"My Innocence considered me a traitor. It tried to kill me. I destroyed it, but it still scared me" She rubbed her arm as if that might make the horrid scars away. "I'm surprised Lavi kept me a secret."

"Lavi and Ghost? You said they knew"

"Of course. They both came to visit me" She nodded and pulled her sleeves back down. "But that doesn't matter. How have you been Lenalee? Oh and I'm sorry young man, my name is Raina Fitzgerald"

"Allen Walker" He still seemed wary of her.

"He's newer to the Order. He joined a bit after you disappeared. We went back to that place to look for you, but you weren't there anymore. Your grandmother was worried" Lenalee frowned. Raina looked down. She figured she was. She disappeared and then Fae and Tyki left shortly afterwards. Did they explain what they were doing? What happened? She had never asked. The happiness and the terror of those last moments had made her forget.

"I'm sure she is. She was always such a kind woman" Raina sighed and looked at Lenalee. "We're only going to be here till early tomorrow."

"You're not on the run again are you?"

"Did you expect me to sit in one place for long, Lenalee?" She smiled at her old friend again. Lenalee looked more worried than anything else. The door opened again and Devit and Jasdero walked in. She noticed how Allen tensed. Did he realize they were Noah? They had assumed their old human appearance before walking into town. Devit's green eyes seemed strange to her. She was just so used to his vivid golden eyes anymore that green just looked odd. He looked at her and she smiled at him. He took his spot next to her and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close.

"You're still protective of her" Lenalee noticed.

"Because she's mine" Devit said plainly. He put both arms around her waist, now standing directly behind her and put his head on top of her's.

"That's kind of brash to say Devi" She told him.

"Yeah! You have to share" Jasdero called from where he was lounging on the bed. He sounded really tired. She glanced towards him. She would have looked, but Devit had his head on her's and that kept her from really turning her head.

Allen looked between the three of them. He hadn't really spoken much. She got the feeling that he didn't really like Noah at all. She didn't really care why, she could understand that he was an Exorcist, and young at that. She closed her eyes.

"Raina?" She opened her eyes to meet Lenalee's. "Be careful okay? But if things do go wrong, maybe you could hide at the Order for a little while. All your friends miss you. We don't care that you fell in love with a Noah. You can't help who you fall in love with right? Maybe it was fate too. Maybe this is a sign that Noah and Exorcists don't have the fight"

She chuckled. "Don't look too deeply into this Lenalee. I did lose my Innocence afterall"

"Well…" She tried to find words for that, she didn't seem to be able to.

"Don't worry about me" She told her. "Devit will protect me and Jasdero will too."

"But Raina, you're only human now" She sounded really worried about her. Raina just smiled.

"I'll be fine. I'm tougher than I look" She carefully stepped out of Devit's embrace to walk over and hug Lenalee quick. "I survived destroying my Innocence, I think I can survive just about anything" She let go of the younger girl and stepped back.

"You can't tell anyone about seeing her" Devit's voice made her look back at him. "She could get hurt if you do" Devit warned her.

"Devit…I'll be fine"

"I won't have her getting hurt, not again. Don't tell anyone you saw her. Not even the Bookman" His tone tightened when he said 'Bookman' and something made Raina think that he was hiding something from her at that moment. She looked back at Lenalee again. She bit her lip and nodded.

"I agree. It'd be best to keep that we saw her again a secret." She glanced over at Allen. "We better get going. I'm sure you're hungry Allen" She smiled and then they both walked out of the room. Lenalee looked back once to wave at Raina and Raina lifted her hand half-heartedly in a goodbye. She looked up at Devit but he turned away to take off his coat and throw it on the chair.

"Devit?" He didn't look at her.

"We better get some sleep while we can" He told her and he sat on the bed, waiting for her. She started to unlace the outer dress and when it was off she threw it on the chair as well. She was kind of achy and not feeling good. She went and squeezed into her normal spot of in between the two brothers. Jasdero already appeared to asleep. Devit lay down next to her. She was on her side, her back to him. She was wondering what he might know or what she might have missed. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"It's kind of hard to get used to you with short hair" He said softly to her.

"I've had short hair before"

"Not since you were a child"

"Well it's not that short anyway"

"I suppose that's true." He was silent for a long moment. She was too, just content with being close to him. "We will protect you Raina" His voice was almost so soft that she couldn't hear.

"I know you will. I trust you"

But something seemed off. He didn't answer her after that and she supposed he had drifted off to sleep. She lay asleep for hours afterwards, trying to find a hole or a loop or something she missed. Some sign. She didn't know what but she knew that something was being hid from her. Maybe she was just being paranoid... Or maybe not.

When she did fall asleep she saw that field again. The snow, the shadows that surrounded them. It changed though. She saw Adam with a murderous look on his face. He called her names and grabbed her arm. He lifted it back with a red dagger clenched in his hand. There was a gun shot and he froze. She saw one of them – she never knew which one – fall and she felt the dagger pierce the soft flesh over her heart. She fell into the white snow right next to them. Her fingers found theirs and they were already going cold. She could feel the warm blood leaking out of her, draining her of her own warmth. There was nothing she could do to stop it, to help them or help herself. She could just lay there, panting and watch them lose their own fight with life as she lost her own.

She woke up in a cold sweat and jolted out of bed. She woke up both Jasdero and Devit, but she didn't care. She ran to the bathroom in the room and ended up puking. She knew Devit had come to make sure she was okay. Jasdero was there too. She felt one of them pull her hair back. She could only assure them that she had just had a horrid nightmare, though she felt it were something more. But she could be sure. It was getting annoying that there so many things she wasn't sure about.

But as usual, there was nothing she could do.

* * *

Not gonna lie. I am excited for the next few chapters. I'm getting really excited for these are the parts that I have been planning for a while. So anyway, did you notice that in less than two months that it will have been two years since I published So I Though? Doesn't seem that long! And this story is almost a year old. Man, I finish So I Thought in seven months! Anyway, I'm gonna start steering this towards the end soon, but don't get upset yet! This isn't gonna end anytime soon, but everything needs to start falling into place! I'm also putting fan art on my DeviantArt now, cuz I have become unlazy and will draw now. But enough of my ramblings, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and leave me some reviews to tell me what you thought okay?


	19. The Dream

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
The Dream**

Leaving at first light had it advantages, such as no one saw them leave. They left the money they owed on the newly made bed and Devit jumped out of the window, Raina safely in his arms. He landed with ease, even with her weight. Then he and Jasdero ran. They ran until noon where Raina made them stop in a cluster of trees and weeds far, far away from the road. They had been using the road again, but she thought it might be a better idea to get off the road and wander as they willed through the wilderness. They didn't have a destination in mind, but she was happy just to be with them at the moment. She was satisfied with herself now, feeling almost like she was her normal self.

They sat in that cluster of weeds and trees, lying down, as no one could see them when they did. The weeds jetted over their relaxing bodies and covered them like a soft blanket. It was nice and peaceful. She heard one of the boy sit up with a sigh. There was the sound of bones popping as he stretched.

"Raina we should move" Devit's voice roused her slightly and she pushed herself through the leafy barrier so she could sit up. She saw both Jasdero and Devit sitting up. She stood up so she could stretch.

"I suppose you're right" She agreed. She grabbed her little bag from the cold ground and then smiled at both of the boys. "We should stick to the wilderness. It'll be more tiring but our path will be harder to follow."

"Yeah, but it's also more dangerous for you. We'll stick to the path"

She stood there for a moment. "Or" her smile turned playful "You could try to catch me!" And then she dashed towards the trees. Both had been so shocked they didn't try to pursue her right away. Soon she heard them coming. She ducked behind a tree, not that it did her any good since she was panting. He wasn't long till she actually saw them dash back. They skidded to a stop a few feet from her. She quickly launched herself at Devit, hanging on him and kissing him.

He just seemed surprised.

"Raina?" He questioned when she leaned back.

"I'm just so happy to be free!" she exclaimed. "It's beautiful here! Cold or not, it's beautiful and I want to wander forever!" She let go of him to spin in a circle. Devit watched her for a moment before laughing.

"You're acting like a kid Rain" He said, grabbing at her as she spun past him. "But you seem really happy"

"I am! I already told you I was" She said, leaning up against him now. There was a familiar, happy, probably too cheerful smile on her face. It made him smile a little and Jasdero hugged both of them, clearly happy as well. Devit squirmed trying to get out of their embraces. Raina and Jasdero both smiled at him though and it was one of her old cheerful smiles. He realized how much he missed those smiles.

"Well, we can't stick around here for long. Let's move." He reached to grab her so he could pull her into his arms. She stepped back

"I want to walk. I don't need you to carry me" She told him. He looked at her for a long moment. He would have usually just grabbed her and dragged her along anyway, but he shoved his hands into his pockets instead. Her eyes were hard, like she would fight him to keep her own feet on the ground. His mind flashed to Adam and how he had abused her. His hands clenched into fists.

"Fine. Just don't be slow" He said and turned to start walking the way he thought they should be going. Really, her little stunt had made him loose track of where they were going. She and Jasdero followed after him. He could hear them talking. He frown a little, but he still felt his cheeks heat up. More or less he was…annoyed but happy. To see her smile that way again was all he really wanted. He wanted to see her smile, hear her laugh and just know that she was happy.

A part of him wished she could be happy with them. He knew she'd do something stupid to get them back though. She was smart – smarter than them – yet she did stupid things when it came to them. He glanced back at them and her eyes met his for a moment and her look suddenly looked worried.

"Devit?" Now her tone was worried too. He stoppeds and the two behind him did too.

"I'm fine" He said.

"Why do you look…sad then?" she asked. "Devit just answer me. Don't give me your usual crap. I'm worried about you"

"You're stupid" He growled.

"What did you say?"

"You're stupid" He turned around to face her. "You're finally free after spending over a year locked up and shit and you're worrying about me! You should be worried about yourself" He didn't know what snapped in him, but something did. He was angry, but he didn't know why. He made sure not to shout at her, but that was the most he could do.

"Maybe because I love you. _Maybe_ that's why I'm worried about you" She crossed her arms and gave him an angry look. "That's what people do when they love someone. They worry about them"

"They don't ignore themselves though! You…When you weren't yourself, when you didn't smile, I was worried about you but you weren't worried about anything. I'm happy to see you back to normal but…but you're stupid. Worry about yourself"

"You're stupid!" She snapped at him. "I do worry about myself but I _love_ you. I'm going to worry about you…you…you idiot!" She frowned, her eyes worried. "You look…upset though and I don't like it. I don't want to fight with you, but you're such an idiot sometimes."

She started walking again, pushing past him and moving on. He watched her. He knew he had upset her now and he shook his head. He followed after her, grabbing her arm.

"It's nothing. Just worry about yourself okay?" She tugged her arm away from him and glared at him.

"I still think you're an idiot"

Then she kept walking. He frowned, but she didn't seem angry anymore. His own anger was strangely gone. He didn't know where it came from or where it went. Jasdero approached him, eyes on Raina's retreating form.

"Did you just need assurance?" he asked softly.

"Assurance? Assurance of what?"

"That she really loved you. Try not to make her angry for it next time okay Devi?" Then Jasdero walked after her. Devit stood there. Was that what he had needed? He didn't know he was actually a little confused on why he had snapped at all. He hurried after them. He wasn't that far behind them. He reached out for her hand again.

She let him take it. He figured she would have shaken him off. He was kind of glad she hadn't. She wasn't that mad then. They walked for another hour and a half in silence until she leaned against a tree with a heavy sigh.

"Are you okay?" asked Jasdero.

"Just really tired. I think I may have slipped on something or something…my one ankle hurts. It might be swelling too" She lifted up her leg and slipped her boot off. He didn't know if her ankle was swelling or not but then again he wasn't a doctor.

"Do you want to stop and see a doctor in the next town?" He suggested. "I'll carry you there an-"

"No, its fine. I can still walk" She said, slipping her boot back on and waving off his suggestion with her hand. She started walking again, without a limp but she still looked uncomfortable. If she said she was fine though, he would believe her. He wanted to know what was wrong with her. It probably wasn't that serious though.

They didn't walk too much further before they stopped for all of them to rest – well really Raina. She seemed so tired. More so than just a bit ago. Devit was thinking of dragging her to a doctor's anyway. He hated doctors, but she was only human. She sat in his lap, her head leaning back against his chest. She had her arms wrapped around herself. She was shivering so he wrapped her up in his coat, trying to keep her warm. They all had to keep their hoods up to keep them from getting too cold.

"We…we should find a town Devit. We can't keep sleeping outside. It does get cold at night" She told him. She wasn't shivering anymore though.

"Maybe we should head to towns to stay in hotels." He agreed. She slipped out of his coat and stood. It wasn't too close to night, but even if they ran they might arrive after dark. He pulled her into his arms and motioned for Jasdero to follow with his head. Soon they were off. Raina curled in his arms trying to keep warm, but she was shivering anyway.

It took them a good while to arrive at the next town and they hurried to get a hotel room. It had a warm fire in the warm waiting for them. Devit sat her down in front of the fire. She held her gloved hands out towards it. He saw they were pale.

"Do you have frostbite?" he asked, taking her hand and kneeling down so he could inspect her fingers.

"No" she answered. "They're just a bit cold" She pulled her fingers away and put them back in front of the fire again before looking back at him. "Looks like your nose is cold" Before he could do anything she leaned over and kissed his nose gently. He fell back in surprise. She smiled and turned her eyes back to the warm fire.

Jasdero fell off the bed laughing.

"Sh-shut up Jasdero!" Devit yelled at his brother jumping up. Before Jasdero could do anything to defend himself he ran at him and jumped to tackle him. Raina turned to let her back warm and watch the boys wrestle around on the floor. She laughed a few times at their antics.

It ended with them both a little bruised and Jasdero still laughing. Devit sat on the floor a few feet away, sort of pouting but smiling. He felt Raina wrap her arms around his neck from behind and lean against him a little.

"You guys are so funny you know that?" She asked, her arms hanging loosely around his neck. He couldn't help but blush a little. It seemed rather intimate for her to be hanging on him in the presence of his brother, but he didn't want to say anything.

"Well, as long as we're entertaining" Jasdero said climbing back on the bed. Raina smiled at him, pressing her cheek against the top of his head.

"Well you two are. Just like when we were kids you know"

"Yeah, yeah" Devit said, pulling lightly on her arms and making her lock them together before grabbing her and carting her over to the bed before dumping her on it. She laughed again and then sat up and started removing her cloak and gloves.

"Boy, it's hot in here" She started unlacing her dress too. She pulled that off leaving her in the white dress underneath. She lay in the middle of the bed in the white dress and still looking like she wasn't comfortable. She laid her hands on her stomach, looking even more uneasy.

"Something wrong?" Asked Devit throwing off his coat before sitting on the bed so he could take off his shoes. She shook her head; he heard it more than he saw it. He laid on the bed seeing Jasdero was already curled up and probably well on his way to going to sleep.

"I'm just tired I think….but it is rather warm in here…Oh well" She snuggled up against him, a coy smile on her face. He rolled his eyes at her, wrapping on arm around her.

"Go to sleep, you won't be so warm then"

"Fine, I guess I will" Her voice was sleepy and he could see that she was going to fall asleep soon. He rubbed at his eye, forgetting about the makeup there until he saw the back smudge on his hand. Oh well, he'd wash his face and stuff in the morning. It didn't take too much effort on his part…

Then suddenly it was morning. He opened his eyes, a little surprised. Raina wasn't by him. He heard the shower in the bathroom so she was probably in the shower since Jasdero was still curled up like a blonde cat on the bed. He didn't even remember falling asleep but hey, there were some night like that.

He got up and walked to the bathroom just as the door opened and Raina came out dressed in only that white dress. He wasn't sure what to call it since he didn't have to wear dresses. He walked into the bathroom and she watched him leaning on the doorway.

"Devit, where are we going today?"

"To buy a few blankets and then we're going to go as far as we can." He told her, reapplying the makeup he always wore.

"So we're going to just walk?"

"I guess"

She walked away and when he came out of the bathroom he saw Jasdero yawning and combing through his blonde tresses. He threw the small stick of makeup to him as his makeup was smudged across his face and he looked like a raccoon. He got up after a moment and headed to the bathroom. Raina was looking outside.

"It might snow" She said with a sigh. "It's not long now till your nineteenth birthday…"

He shrugged. "So?"

"I'll get you boys a nice gift" her voice was soft, as if she were thinking at the moment of what to get them.

"We don't need one" Devit's voice was stubborn. He didn't see the need for her to get them a gift.

"Yeah, Raina" Jasdero agreed coming back out of the bathroom, makeup on his face again. "Just spending it with you will be nice"

"Yeah" Devit agreed.

"I'll get you a gift anyway and spend the day with you, how's that?" She smiled at them. Devit shrugged. It wasn't like she didn't spend as many days as she could with them.

"Whatever"

He grabbed his coat and shoes and started to get ready. She started slipping on her dress and her boots. Then she put on her gloves and cloak before flipping the hood up. "Are there many Akuma out there?"

"A few and they know we're here now, so we may want to hurry" He told her and then he grabbed her so he could jump out the window. He landed gently on the ground and then put her down. The three of them hurried along to the nearest shop where they bought blankets and managed to stuff them in the bag, though Devit kept one so he could wrap Raina in it while they ran. They hurried out of town and hurried away from that area in general. It was time to put some real distance in between them and the Earl.

Devit carried her a while and then they walked a while. When they walked, she was happier because she could walk ahead and 'explore' as she put it. The twins watched her carefully though in case she would fall or something. It would be her luck that she did fall down a ditch or something. Well at least they were there to help her if she did. If she would have been alone out her she'd probably freeze to death. That thought made him frown. It seemed he was becoming morbid or something. He'd have to work to stop that. It was annoying.

The sky was cloudy above them and he was sure it wasn't helping. He wasn't sure what time it was since the sun was behind the thick clouds. He glanced ahead of him again as he heard Raina returning to them, in a hurry it sounded like, the frozen grass crunching under her boots.

"Guys! Come look at this!" Then she disappeared through the trees again. They hurried after her, worried something was wrong. When they found her she was standing a few feet in a clearing of mostly dead grass. Frost still covered it and the grass crunched under their own boots as they walked. Though there was no sun, the frozen, dead grass glittered like it was made of crystal. It was a rather beautiful sight and she seemed amazed by it, then again any pretty landscape seemed to amaze her.

"Ah…this is pretty" Jasdero said, a smile on his face.

"It is, isn't it? It seems so familiar…" She trailed off, a frown on her lips as she tried to recall where she might have seen a field like this probably, but then she shrugged, walking further in. Devit came to her side and Jadero to her other. The empty space went on for a while on the other three sides of them, but there was a wall of forest around them, making her feel safe. She noticed Devit and Jasdero seemed tense but she brushed it off with a laugh. She waited till they were near the middle to jump a step ahead and smile but that was when she saw the men in black and white behind them. And to both sides of them. She turned, they were surrounded. Devit and Jasdero had their guns out, probably had the whole time and she hadn't noticed.

"The Order" She whispered. She looked and saw Lavi and Ghost and Lenalee too. That new guy Allen was near Lenalee. Lenalee, Ghost and Lavi all looked upset. Lavi especially. She ran towards them, away from the safety of the twins to wave her arms at them. To tell them to stop, go away. Devit and Jasdero were dangerous, they would hurt her friends if they thought she was in danger. She didn't want her friends and them fighting.

"No! No! Guys! Stop!"

"Raina get back here!" She heard Devit growl. She turned to look at him.

"Its fine. Hold on." She told him before turning back to her group of old friends, but she heard him growl again behind her. As she did she saw a figure emerging from within the crowd. They looked familiar in the rich and thick cloak to keep them warm. They pulled back the hood and she knew their face right away. It was Adam. She froze where she was, feeling emotions overwhelm her for the moment.

"Raina!" He called out to her as he stalked closer. "You know I did some thinking. I don't want your money or your house. I don't even want you. But, if I can't have you, I'm at least going to make sure no one else does. See, I'm jealous enough to kill you, so I followed along with these guys to reclaim my _precious_ wife but…" He drew a dagger. She had seen Fae with it once and Devit had seen it plenty in his dreams. His body froze up too and Jasdero just watched in horror.

He grabbed her but the shoulder and raised the dagger. "So today you die"

Time seemed to slow for everyone.

Lenalee covered her eyes, shocked that this man lied to them. She had though that he was really concerned for Raina and was going to break her away from the Noah, help her live a normal life. That was what he had told them, that he just wanted her to be happy with a normal life.

Lavi drew his hammer, moving forward, ready to save Raina, but knowing he would not be in time. He could still try though.

Ghost followed close after Lavi, knowing that even if she were too late, she'd do what she could to save the woman that saved her. If only she were faster!

Devit was frozen to the ground, eyes open in horror. How he wanted to rip that man's head off but he was so shocked. _It wasn't him_. It wasn't him holding the dagger, killing Raina. It wasn't him but she was still going to die and…no…no! He found his feet, though they felt numb and he stumbled to the ground.

Jasdero reached down to get his brother, but too slow, so slow. No, no, they'd never make it and they were the closest. No…Not Raina! Not her! Not their childhood friend, no! She reminded them both what it was like to be human, that humans weren't all bad. She couldn't die! It'd be like losing a piece of themselves!

Raina looked into Adam's eyes and saw only hate. Her fingers were in his shirt, ready to push away but the hate made her freeze and she couldn't even defend herself. Her breath was caught in her throat though she thought it might be her last.

Then there was an explosion of a gun shot. It made ice run through her veins for a moment before it made her remember her dream and exactly what had happened when a gun had been fired.

"No!" Raina screamed, trying to turn, to realize her dream and see that one of them had died, but Adam had too tight a grip on her shoulder, she couldn't turn. No! Maybe she could save them! Then his grip went slack and she finally felt the splatter on half her face. Her look went from fear to shock. She felt him falling on her and she fell with him, straight to the ground, frozen in this new shock. What had happened?

The Exorcists had frozen too in surprise. They weren't even sure what was happened until they saw a Finder holding a gun in his trembling hands.

Devit ran to her side, stumbling once more. He collapsed by her, desperate to make sure she was alright. Her eyes were wide and slightly vacant, as if her shock was that deep. He looked at what was left of Adam. His head was missing along with a chunk of his neck. The gun that had been fired had been fired at a pretty close range and it had been powerful. Raina was lucky to not be injured as well. A lot of his bones, flesh and blood had splattered on Raina and his body was leaking blood all over her. With disgust he pushed it off her, letting it fall on the frozen ground to color it red. She started gasping then, maybe because the weight had been removed.

"Devit?" She looked dangerously close to fainting. It almost looked like she couldn't see, the shock temporarily blinding her.

"Raina? I'm here, are you okay?" Her fingers reached up for him, touching his chest, his face.

"Jasdero? Jasdero is okay too?"

"I'm okay Rai" Jasdero kneeled by her and took her hand to assure her.

"Oh…good" And then she fainted, her body going slack. He knew he should have expected as much, she had gone through quite the shock. He scooped her up before the Exorcists could gather themselves and they bound away, managing to jump through a gap in them and running deep into the forest. They pushed themselves hard to get far, far away from them. Then they used their superior senses to find some fresh water. Raina really needed to be cleaned up. He didn't think she'd take well to wake up being covered in grey matter and blood and pieces of skull and flesh.

He leaned her against a tree near the water's edge and she started to stir so he stayed near her, he gave a blanket to Jasdero so he could rip a piece off though. She needed this crap wiped off her face and neck and some out of her hair. When her eyes fluttered open, she focused them on him.

"Oh Devit, you're okay" She said, as if she needed to reassure herself one more time. She reached out to touch his face but stopped, reaching back to touch her own. He grabbed her wrist.

"Don't. You're a mess" There were fleckles of grey matter and skull stuck to her face. He could see a little bit of it in her hair. If he wasn't used to see death, her probably would have puked. As it was, she covered her mouth and then leaned over the tree root to rid herself of anything she might have eaten recently. He got her some water to drink and to clean her mouth with. Then she didn't the strangest thing and started to laugh.

He exchanged a wary look with Jasdero who handed him the wet cloth and when he looked at her again she was crying. He started wiping off her face, trying to get it all off her face. She laughed again, sounding like she had gone mad.

"Raina…?" Jasdero's voice was low.

She laughed harder and Devit grabbed her half-bloody face in his hand. "Why are you laughing?" he demanded. He was trying to make her focus on him, not on whatever was upsetting her...or amusing her. She seemed in between the two.

"He'd dead." She said it in a low whisper. "That bastard is _dead_. My only regret is that _I_ didn't kill him"

"Don't talk that way. You're not a killer" He grumbled, returning to cleaning her face for her. There wasn't much he could do for her dress, but her cloak was okay. He made sure to get the pieces out of her hair, but she'd need to wash it again and she wasn't going to wash it outside with it being so cold out. She was still crying, the tears starting to freeze to her face. He sighed, dropping the cloth he had used to clean her face with.

She looked up suddenly, towards the sky and as he and Jasdero mimicked her action she smiled, even though tears were still running down her face she looked happy. Devit focused on her face just as a few snowflakes landed on her face and in her hair.

"It's snowing…just like in my dream…just none of us are dead" He didn't have time to comment because she tackled him, burying her head in his chest. "I'm so glad you're okay" She looked over at Jasdero before grabbing him and then hugging them both tightly. "Both of you. I couldn't live without you"

She was trembling or shivering, he could tell which but they sat there for a long time, arms wrapped around her, her arms wrapped around him, just sitting in the comfort of knowing that they had all survived something terrible.

A sense of forbidding bother Devit though. He thought that maybe next time they might not be so lucky. But…he brushed it aside, he figured Death had enough to do with them for a lifetime, it had to give them a break sometime right? It couldn't stalk them forever.

So it must have been done with them, he decided and he picked Raina back up, ready to keep moving already. He tucked the blanket around her to keep her warm. She seemed to be falling asleep, but he didn't blame her, with all that had happened he wanted to sleep too. He'd get them to the next town first. He glanced at his brother and smiled. They had all survived something terrible and no matter what was thrown at them, they'd survive that too.

They'd always survive as long as they had each other.

* * *

Short chapter is short. Also, it took me a while because I was suffering from horrid writer's block and I also had school to worry about. But, here is a chapter for you. Now I'm sure you're all good and happy because the meaning of that dream is out of the way **but** there is more to come. I have alot of plans for the story yet. I hope you're all very excited for them~ Leave me reviews to tell me what you thought okay?


	20. Moments of Peace

**Think of Me  
Sequel to So I Thought  
D Gray Man  
Moments of Peace**

Lonely. The room was lonely.

Fae sat alone in her room. Tyki's room was empty so she wouldn't go there. Devit and Jasdero were missing and Raina? Raina had run off again. Playing escape she supposed. She sat on her bed looking at her black stockings. She wasn't wearing shoes; the dark shoes were lying on the floor, abandoned. She didn't feel like putting them back on and she didn't feel like getting up or going anywhere. Tyki was off doing something leaving her by herself.

That was until the door open. To her surprise it was Lulu Bell there.

"The Master wishes to see you"

"About what?" her voice was tense.

"Your sister." Fae knew that was coming. She slipped off her bed and followed the older Noah to where the Earl was resting. It was the dining hall. He was sitting in his usual chair and he motioned for Fae to sit down. She didn't want to but she did anyway. The floor was cold on her bare feet anyway. She looked at the Earl and he looked at her, his black eyes gleaming.

"Your sister ran away with Jasdevi again" He didn't sound upset, amused actually. She watched him carefully. "Now I have a small plan." His voice was calm again and she kept her eyes down. She'd glare if she didn't. Regardless of the past…regardless of what she said she'd do when Raina was an Exorcist…she was still her sister.

She felt like a hypocrite though. She had been so, so willing to just kill off her own twin. Now here she was regarding the Earl with suspicion as he brought his plan up. Why did he have to use her sister? Raina was now too involved with Noah to be anything else though, to serve any other master.

She wondered if anyone else saw the bitter darkness that clung to her sister. Noah were dark, most of them were insane and she knew that was herself included. The drive to destroy Innocence was something that drove them all to madness. It was inescapable. Raina seemed to be consumed by the same darkness, some drive driving her to her own madness. What drove her there she wasn't sure of and she didn't care to think too hard. She could feel Raina now. She was safe, in some pain, but it wasn't unusual for her. Their bond was weakening now. When they were children, small and learning to talk, they would talk for each other. They had been so close, never leaving each other's side.

When their personalities had been given chance to develop though, Raina was one who wanted to break out of her cage. Fae was okay sitting in it and admiring the world outside, but she longed to be free. She was now – they both were now. That had taken its toll on their bond and she figured it'd never be the same.

"And what is your plan?" she asked, keeping her voice steady.

"I wanted her to leave with them because I discovered an interesting piece of information." He was amused again. "The Bookman-in-Training visited Jasdevi not to long ago to give them some interesting information – information not even I knew about. Well…I knew some of it. But certain details escaped me till now" She kept her eyes down. She suspected he wanted her to look up, but she did not. "He was telling them that long ago a Noah and an Exorcist had a relationship. It was quite a bit ago, I had almost forgotten about it really."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his.

"Yes, this has happened before – right down the Exorcist and Noah running off. After that, I knew little of what happened to that Noah as I was trying to hunt her down. In the time that she ran off, the Exorcist destroyed his own Innocence, much like your sister did. He was scarred – just like your sister." He paused here.

"What happened?"

"His Innocence was not destroyed. It was dormant, but the shards lay buried within his scar. It seemed it was slowly killing him. When he was weak, it reacted and killed him. The Noah came back after that of course – heartbroken and needing her family. She never spoke again after that" He was silent again as Fae stared at him.

"Raina…"

"Is she weakening?"

"Not that I…maybe…I don't know" she strained the dying bond that remained with her sister. She had to know – was Raina's Innocence killing her yet? "I cannot tell" Those words were a harsh whisper. She had to go to her, warn her. She couldn't do knowing. What…Why had Jasdevi not warned her? They loved her so, but…of course. They could not bear the fact that she might die. Of course. They would lie to themselves and her until the very end.

"We'll see what happens to your sister in time." Then the Earl stood and left Fae sitting in the dining hall, feet cold, heart cold, worried out of her mind and alone.

Raina was cold too. It was getting colder out and it was no time to be wandering away from paths, but she feared who might find them on the paths too much. It was hard going and her body felt burnt out. She didn't want to walk anymore but she didn't want Devit to carry her either. Strong or not he had to pull his own weight and she had to pull her's.

She still felt slightly ill over what had happened to Adam. Something wasn't finished though. Of course he was dead but it felt like it wasn't over. There was something that she was missing, something that she couldn't figure out. It picked at the back of her mind, popping into the forefront at the strangest of times.

She stopped, looking at the river they had been following. They were hoping it would soon lead them to a small town. She was tired or running and was hoping to just…stop. She had the money to afford a small home. She could just stay there. Devit told her that it wouldn't stop the Earl from finding her, but she was so tired of running. She didn't see the point in it any longer and just wanted to stop. She figured she'd settle down, trying to live normally, like she was never an Exorcist, never living with the Noah.

But she knew her normal life was just a dream. She'd always live in fear of the Order and the Earl. It'd be a nice illusion while it lasted though…And yet she hadn't talked it over with Devit. She knew he'd disapprove. She wanted it though, she wanted Devit and Jasdero to stay with her too but she knew that was unrealistic.

Devit, only a few feet ahead of her stopped too looking back. "Rain?" She looked at him then. His golden eyes watched her carefully.

"Coming" She answered. She hurried across the uneven ground until she was at his side again. She smiled at him grabbing onto his arm and hugging close to him for a moment. She felt his eyes on her. She smiled and she felt his fingers running through her hair. She looked up at him and smiled.

"You're being a kid" He grumbled, looking away from her. His fingers threaded through her's though and they were moving again. She pulled her cloak closer around her and shivered. "I think we should go back to your grandmother's. By what we've guessed, we're nearly there"

"Grandma's? Well I suppose it'd be a good place to go" That would actually work better to her plan. She would be safe there and she could tell them to …To what? Not worry? She'd be safer there than she would if she went and stayed anywhere else. She sighed to herself, moving closer to Devit, seeking comfort in the closeness.

"If we run, we could be there tonight" He told her and she looked up at him. She looked up and saw Jasdero waiting a little ahead of them.

"I think we should run" He looked through the trees, probably seeing something she couldn't. "The Exorcists could be behind us." He made a good point. She glanced behind her as if she could see them.

"Alright, we hurry there and then you guys have to rest okay? I don't want you to get exhausted" They both shook their head at her.

"You should be more worried about yourself. I only brought this up because you look ragged." She was almost surprised to hear that, she wasn't sure what he meant by that though. She touched her face, she knew she was probably dirty, but ragged? "You'll feel better when you finally get there" Devit's hand touched her face. She couldn't help but notice that the nail polish he usually wore was chipped and almost gone. It was only weird to notice that as she was so used to his nail being black.

"Alright…Let's hurry then" Devit carefully scooped her up.

"Pull you cloak tight around you" He warned her and she did as she was told, it would be a cold run. That much she already knew. Then they were off. It was colder than expected but she didn't complain. She tried not to shiver, instead huddling against Devit, keeping her hood up and her arms crossed tightly against her chest. There wasn't much she could do for her legs or feet but she tried to keep warm as well as she could.

They ran and ran, she was freezing but she didn't ask to stop. Usually their breathing was flawless as they ran; running easily because of them being a Noah but it was about Midday when she noticed they were both panting, as if they could not breathe. She realized this trip was hard on them all. They were all dirty but at least they had plenty to eat or they could eat whenever they wanted. The money she had taken supplied them well.

With a jolt she realized that she had her entire fortune to her name now that Adam was dead. She took a shaky breath and hid her face against Devit's chest, trying to stay as warm as she could. They had a long way to go and they all were tired.

They arrived far after dark, the lights in the manor were on in some rooms, but most of it was dark. She could see a shadow of a person moving within. Raina figured out that it was the kitchen and that it was her grandparents were making tea or something. She made Devit put her down, he almost fell down. She grabbed his and Jasdero's arms, tugging them along. She had to be their strength for the moment. They were walking dead on their feet, panting yet. They had not stopped all day, preferring to arrive sooner than later but their pace had slowed. Especially Devit's who had been weighted down with her. They had barely managed the jump into the garden.

She opened the door; it was a servant's door to the garden, and walked into the kitchen. Her grandfather and grandmother looked up, stiffening as they walked in and after a long silent moment, her grandmother was on her feet.

"Where did you three come from?" Her hands were wringing in her skirt nervously. Raina glanced at her grandfather as he also rose.

"You three look absolutely ragged" Well her grandfather didn't skip the obvious. Raina nodded and she felt Devit stumble into her. Trying to keep him on his feet for a few more minutes, she pulled him closer. His head dipped against her shoulder, his eyes closed. Jasdero looked almost as if he had fallen asleep on his feet. Raina wanted nothing more to bathe and go to bed.

"We needed some place safe to stay" she explained. "I…We'll talk tomorrow. We're exhausted." Her grandmother nodded. "Honey, go run a bath" She watched her grandfather walk away. "Lets give you guys a drink and something to eat. Then you can go get a bath and sleep off this night"

She made the three of them sit down and eat a little and drink some tea. The tea felt good when she drank it, the warmth spreading through her body. After that it was time for a bath. They each had their own and she took her time. She had almost fallen asleep in the warm water when a knock at the door alerted her.

"Raina?" It was Devit's voice. "I hope you didn't fall asleep" He sounded tired.

"Devi, go to bed. You're tired. I'll be out in a minute" She got out of the bath, careful not to fall and took her towel and started to dry off her hair. She heard the sound of the door groaning as someone leaned against it. She hurried to put on her night gown and tame her hair somewhat before opening the door. Devit stumbled against her as the door gave way. She luckily caught him only to stumble back against the counter.

"Sorry" He said with a yawn. He was dressed in a white top and matching white sleeping pants. Jasdero who was sitting in a chair waiting for them was dressed similar.

"Bed time?" he asked, standing and rubbing his eye. She smiled softly.

"Let's get to bed boys." The two boys stumbled to the bed and she wasn't sure how she didn't. Maybe she did because she rather tumbled into the bed. Devit shoved her more towards the middle before curling up against her in an odd gesture of affection. She smiled, falling asleep quickly, her dreams nonexistent.

The morning came sooner than she would have liked though when she glanced at the clock she saw it was nearly noon. Devit and Jasdero were up, clear from their absence in the bed. She got up and prepared herself for the day, wearing an outfit that was less lady-like than one she had worn in a very long time. Pants, loose around her legs and shirt that was also loose. Easy to move in, comfortable. She felt comfortable.

She walked down the hall when she saw Devit coming towards her. She smiled but took her time going to him. She took his hand and leaned up to kiss him. "Mm, affectionate today?" He asked softly.

"I always am. I've just been tired of late, but we are now safe and warm and clean. I'm happy" She said simply. He kept her hand in his as they walked down the hallway.

"Jasdero is eating, he wanted to wait for you but his stomach has been growling like he hasn't eaten in a week." She laughed. They walked into the dining hall before long, Jasdero was already eating a sturdy brunch. He wasn't eating fast but it seemed he had intentions of eating a lot. He looked better, his hair no longer tangled from running.

She took a seat and started to eat herself, but she hadn't eaten much before her stomach started to hurt in an odd way. She rubbed it, hoping touch would ease the pain but of course that wasn't the case. It was then her grandmother came in. She was alone, but dressed as if she were going to go out. Raina turned in her seat to look at her.

"We figured we might go and see the town and buy more clothes for you and the two boys" She said, a smile on her face. "Father is out waiting in the carriage. We won't be long so just relax until we get back ok?"

It wasn't hard to agree to that.

After eating they went to look at the garden which was barren because of the season. A few straggly trees stood and she had seen their shadows the night before. She did have limited sight at night though so she had not seen much of the garden now. So she stood looking with a window in between it and her.

"We'll have to come back in the spring" Devit said.

"I miss the flowers" Jasdero added looking longingly at the barren garden for a few moments longer before turning away again. She turned away too walking down the hall. They spent their time together that day. Though her grandparents had promised not to be long, they spent most of the day away from the house. The nearest town was around an hour away after all.

When they did come back, the five of them had a peaceful dinner together and then they went back to relaxing. It was a very calm day and it was so calming, that Raina wanted to take another bath just to make it…complete.

She had returned to the room she generally stayed at when she was there and ran herself a bath. She was just getting ready to get in when the door opened. She looked up to see Devit walking in. He looked uncomfortable and he stood there a long moment, silently.

"Can I help you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning back against the tub.

"Jas said I should come spend some time with you." He said, his voice grumbly. She waited. "He went to bed early to make his point. I didn't want to bother you till after your bath" She shook her head.

"So you figured you'd join me?" She turned back to the bath and took off her shirt.

"Uh…."

"Well? If you're not going to join me you can wait in the bedroom you know. We'll spend the night together" She half turned to give him a quick wink. She stripped the rest of her clothes off and slipped into the warm bath with a happy sigh. She glanced at Devit who hesitated before he muttered "Oh fuck it" And quickly stripped and slipped into the tub as well.

"See? Easy" She gave him the playful sort of smile and he flicked some water at her, which only, made her laugh. She moved carefully across the tub into his lap. He stiffened.

"Careful" He warned.

"Oh, let off Devit!" She said, smacking his shoulder. "We're safe. We can afford to be a little reckless" His eyes weren't exactly wary, but they weren't exactly trusting of this either. She sighed. "Its not like you haven't seen me naked before"

"It's not that." He said, sounding almost offended. She waited for him to elaborate. "Its just this tub seems awfully small for any kind of…activities" He wrinkled his nose, looking annoyed. She stood up, not caring to relax any further. She had other thoughts on her mind.

"Well I have a huge bed out there." She motioned out towards the bedroom with her hand, turning her head that way too. She hardly heard Devit stand up before he scooped her up in his arm. She squealed in false alarm. He jumped out of the tub, forgetting about the warm water and headed straight for the bed. He dumped her on it but didn't expect her to squirm away, a coy smile on her lips. He had to clamor after her but the result was her falling straight off the bed with a pain filled 'oof'

"Rain?" He leaned over the bed to grab her and pull her back onto it.

"Mood. Killed" She growled, rubbing her back. He laughed. He stood up and grabbed a shirt he had left on the floor nearby. He had probably been planning to put it on for bed. It was an awful like the shirt he usually wore. He crawled back on the bed, handing it to her. She slipped it over her head and then he slipped under the covers, putting his arms behind his head. She fixed the shirt, pulling it down almost to her knees. The shirt was huge on her. She climbed onto top of him, looking down at him.

"Thought you said the mood was killed." His fingers traced up her leg.

"I'm bored though" She answered. Her head tilted to the side and she traced her fingers down his cheek. "You washed off your eyeliner before you came to see me"

"Figured we'd be busy. I didn't want it to smear"

She only said "Hm" and was silent, fingers running across his cheek. He took her hand with his and her eyes went to his hand. "You repainted your nails too"

"They were chipped" He answered simply. She was silent.

"I love you" She said softly.

"Whats the matter Rain?" She looked down, tears in her eyes. There was no reason for them but she felt choked up.

"What happened…to Adam….I thought it was going to be you" He let out an almost annoyed sigh. She knew why he wasn't annoyed. He was relieved too. It could have been her.

"Please Raina. It wouldn't have happened like that to me. I'm stronger, faster, better than any wimpy human. I'm not going to die like that."

"You already almost died" She whispered. He was silent then, and it was an abrasive silence, scratching against them, seeing who would bleed first. He stared into her eyes, they were worried as she stared into his, they were strangely calm.

"Noah aren't immortal Raina"

"Neither are Exorcists"

"No one is" he said after another, shorter silence.

"Its better that way but…I've found myself scared lately." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Something…something isn't right" Devit shook his head at her, a frown on his face. She looked distressed, worried, and then she shook her head. Her fingers wrapped around his shoulders and she leaned down to kiss him. It was a hot kiss, one that had both their temperatures rising by the time she pulled away.

"Rain?"

"Make me forget it" She whispered.

"Don't start this again Rain"

"Just this once" she begged. "One more time, I promise this is the last" Her whisper was so low, so desperate that he gave him with a groan.

"This is the last" He whispered to her before he forgot how to say anything else.

In the morning, she was still curled against his side, the shirt she had been wearing last night for a little while discarded on the floor once more. He had one arm around her as he looked straight up. They had not been able to spend much time together in a while. It was nice to be able to lay with her and just her. He knew Jasdero would not bother them. Thought they never talked about his physical relationship with Raina, Jasdero was very aware of it…and aware of when he wanted his own time with her.

He shook her gently. "Rain. Time for breakfast" He told her and she grumbled and buried her face against him. "That's not going to make me leave you alone. Get up" He sat up, forcing her to sit up with him and it dumped the blankets off both of them. She grumbled again but stumbled off the bed, rubbing her eyes. She walked over to the closet she had and swung it open, seemingly unaware that she was still naked.

"Not a morning person this morning?" He teased. She peeked around the closet door to glare at him. He laughed and though she tried not to smile, her lips twitched.

"Go get ready" She told him.

"Sounds like you're talking through a mouthful of cotton" He laughed again as her glare returned to him. "Alright, alright." He was in a good mood that morning and he didn't know why. He got the clothes he had been planning to sleep in and slipped them on so he could go to his own room where there were clothes he and Jasdero could wear.

Once Devit was gone Raina rubbed her stomach once more. It hurt, it was still aching. She slipped on some clothes, planning to talk to her grandmother about any medicine or even tea or something that she might have to make it stop aching so. She was also really tired, feeling as though she had not truly slept at all.

Once dressed she walked to the kitchen where her grandmother was brewing tea. Her grandfather was carrying some dishes for their breakfast out to the dining hall. He smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back. Her grandmother was so lucky to find the man she loved. She was lucky too she supposed. Though she had to go through a lot of crap just to stay with him.

"Grandma" She said softly. "My stomach has been hurting of late. Do you have anything for it?" She asked.

"Oh, yes. I'll make you a tea for it." She said, not looking up from the tea kettle as she poured the tea into a cup.

"Thank you" She answered. She turned to leave but she heard her grandmother speak again.

"How long has it been hurting?" Well she wasn't quite sure.

"Well my back hurt for a while, but then it moved to my stomach. I suppose it was all the traveling we did." She said with a frown.

Her grandmother gave her a strange look. "Well maybe we should take you to the doctor then. You may have hurt yourself. I'd rather be safe than sorry, my dear" She nodded to herself and then handed Raina the a cup of tea before grabbing a tray. "Let us go eat breakfast with the boys"

Breakfast was a simple event, a little serious because Raina started to fill her grandparents in on everything that had happened. They looked a little worried by the end of it, but Raina assured them she was strong enough to take care of herself and she had Jasdero and Devit if she ever failed. She excused herself early though.

She did have one thing she wanted to do. She had to talk to Devit and Jasdero about it though. It was them she was concerned for actually. She walked to a room that overlooked the barren garden nicely. If it had been spring or summer, the view would have been all the more lovely but the look of the snow on the dead plants did still have a moving effect.

"Rai?" She turned to see both her boys. She smiled at them and leaned back against the window carefully.

"I need to talk to you two about something important."

Now they looked wary.

"I think you two should go back to the Earl" They started to protest before she finished her sentence. She let them for a little while, their words loud and angry but not making any sense to her. After a little while she lifted her hands and hoped they'd quiet down, but of course they didn't. "Guys, guys" She said, almost shouting to speak over them. They shut their mouths. Jasdero looked worried though and Devit looked upset, angry even. "I'm safe here. I'll remain here and wait for you. This will be your home instead of the Noah Manor. Make a deal with the Earl"

"There is no dealing with the Earl, Raina!" Devit snarled. "He's the Earl! He's powerful!"

"But if you guys talk to him rationally, I'm sure he'll listen"

"Or he'll make us lure you out of the safety of the house"

"You worry too much"

"Yeah! About you, a human!"

"Devi…but the Earl might come here and take us all. If we go talk to him he might leave Raina alone just because we're working for him again" Devit glared at Jasdero as if he had said something sinful.

"Devit, its only logical" Rain whispered to him, placing her hands on the side of his face. He jerked away from her, which hurt, but she would not complain right now.

"Fine. He tries to come after you though, we will leave again"

"I didn't expect you to stay if I was in danger. I know your far to stubborn and protective to deal with that shit" She smiled, though it looked sad.

"This is your idea, why do you look like you're going to cry?" Devit's voice severally annoyed – and hurt. She had hurt his pride a little with this she thought.

"I'll miss you guys. And worry. Everyday, I'll always worry"

"We're gonna come back to you Rai" Jasdero said hugging her tightly and nuzzling her. She could help but laugh.

"Make sure you do alright? Don't forget about me"

"We already tried that remember? You stalked us all over the world" Devit pointed out and she laughed, grabbing him and pulling him into the hug too. He grunted and acted as if he didn't want to be a part of it.

"Well don't try it again because I'll stalk you all over the world again!"

Jasdero laughed at her words and his laugh made her laugh and Devit finally smiled. She left them both go, but held onto their hands. "I love you two"

"Yeah, yeah" Devit said.

"He means we love you too!" Jasdero translated with a roll of his eyes.

"I knew exactly what he meant"

* * *

Holy crap! Did I just publish another chapter? Yes, yes I did! Amazing! Err...I should tell you all sorry for being absent from the internet-world for so long. Sadly, I have been busy and i also lost my flash drive which is where I keep all my stories, fanfiction and original. This is a huge loss to me...and caused me to avoid writing this chapter for well...months...But here it is. I wrote it and I'm happy I did. I will try to write more often, now that I am over the loss of my flash drive..as long as school doesn't eat me again.

Leave me reviews!

Note: I had planned for upwards of 30 chapters, but I have changed my mind. I shall be ending this story shortly. 23 - 25 isn't a bad total for this sequel I believe. So not much longer before I end it. I hope it surprises you all and you like it


	21. Perfect Day

**Think of Me  
****Sequel to So I Thought  
****D Gray Man  
****Perfect Day**

Days passed peacefully and that was just how Raina liked them, peaceful. Devit and Jasdero were still in the manor with her, she told them to stay a little while longer yet, she wanted to enjoy a bit more of her time with them before making them go back to the Earl. Though, they'd have to go back soon. While she was at peace, they seemed bored. They were also clearly annoyed. Probably mad, but she didn't ask them and they didn't talk about it. It wasn't a solution, but it didn't seem to be a problem either.

Though she had to say she was lonely. Neither of them spent the night with her since that day she told them that they had to go back. She was frustrated but she wasn't going to blame them or be mad at them. This was important, them going back to the Earl, trying to achieve some level of peace while keeping in touch with the Noahs that consumed them was important.

She looked in the mirror that morning, her hair combed. It was weird to look into a mirror. She didn't liked how she looked though. She was still too thin, from not eating when she was with Adam. Her eyes were a bit dark, she looked sick. She frowned at herself and then covered up the mirror. As she did that, the door opened and the twins breezed into the room, both looking happy – enough. She turned to look at them.

"Covering your mirror again?" Devit's tone was disapproving.

"I don't like looking at myself" She replied simply. She looked at the coat laying on the chair that she had been standing in front of. She picked it up and slipped it on. They were all dressed, but she was dressed warm – thick clothing meant for traveling in the cold. "I'm going into town with my grandparents, we'll be gone most of the day. We have food for you in the kitchen and we'll be back for dinner"

"Why?" Asked Jasdero.

"Don't worry, we're just going to look around at some things. I'll be safe enough"

"We should go with you" Devit's voice was stiff. She shook her head.

"Please stay here" She asked, reaching out to touch his arm. He frowned at her and she looked at him for a long moment, a pleading look. Finally he sighed.

"Fine. But if we think you're in trouble we'll come after you" He sounded annoyed again. She laughed, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"I promise I'll stay out of trouble" Devit groaned.

"Why not just say 'I'll attract every bit of trouble to me while I'm gone'?" She laughed.

"Because I'm not going to" She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her forehead against his. "Silly" He sighed.

"We'll worry" Jasdero added and she quickly let go of Devit to hug Jasdero.

"I know" She replied. "It just means you care"

"Well don't get hurt" Jasdero eyed her, as if she might just listen to him.

"I'll stay out of trouble, I won't get hurt and I'll even stay near my grandparents so I don't get lost" She told them, moving away to touch the handle of the door. She stopped, smiled at them once again. Then she opened the door and walked out.

Devit and Jasdero wandered around the house most of the day. They left the grounds to shoot their guns a little. They made sure to put out any fires made by their red bombs. They also made sure to not make a mess with their green bombs. Practicing did them good though.

That entertained them for a few hours. When they grew bored of that, they went back inside and ate the food left for them before they wandered about the house, trying to find something else to do. The day passed very slowly for them. Devit grew irritated throughout it. Jasdero understood – he was worried. Jasdero was too, but he was keeping calm because they had to keep calm.

"Why don't you let me cut your hair a little shorter? It seems to annoy you sometimes" They were sitting by a window, watching it. Devit rolled to his feet.

"Fine" It was something to do. They moved to Raina's room. Her vanity was nice for cutting hair. He sat in the chair and reached to uncover the mirror. He hesitated. She still covered her mirrors, a habit she got into after marrying that little leech. Or…maybe before? Ah, he couldn't remember. He pulled the cover off the mirror.

The mirror was surprisingly whole, no cracks. She seemed to like to break mirrors too. Jasdero started snipping. Though Jasdero loved hair, he was also good at cutting it. He didn't like cutting it though. His own hair was a huge clue on that. It was much longer now. He did have pretty golden locks though, something he was very proud of in the end.

Jas only cut a little off. Enough to make it not annoying. He cleaned up the hair and threw it out to the garden. Maybe a bird would use it in a nest or something when spring came. It was months off though…

He reclined on Raina's bed though. Evening was coming. He knew she should be home soon. He was worried, he hated that he worried so much though. He rubbed his hand over his face.

"Are you okay?" Jasdero's weight made the bed rustle.

"Just….worried."

Jasdero shook his head. "Don't be. Rai will be fine. She's a grown woman" The last bit was teasing and Devit sent a glare at his brother.

"I _know_ that" He paused. "We came here to be safe. We're safe. Why would she leave?"

"Maybe she thinks safe is boring"

Devit grunted. "She's right about that"

Safe was boring. No killing, no fighting…no fear, no worry…no blood, no gore…no sleepless nights, no headaches…but nothing that the twins truly enjoyed. Nothing to entertain the Noah in them. They were Noahs. They needed something, anything, to entertain them. This was just….just….ugh.

Something had to change…but to keep her safe they couldn't allow that.

Soon they heard the front door opening and they were quick to hurry and greet Raina and her grandparents. She gave them a brief hello and bustled off to other parts of the house. They were quite disappointed. They knew they had been chilly to her lately – mainly because she demanded they return to the Noahs – but they had missed her today. They wanted to tell her that.

They searched for her and by the time they found her, she had already retired to bed. Feeling snubbed, the twins went to their own room. They had been willing to give in, but now they didn't feel so forgiving anymore. They rather sleep in their own room rather than with her if she were simply going to snub them.

In the morning they work and got ready, combed their hair and started out to the dining room. They peeked into Raina's room on the way there. To their surprise, she wasn't there. She usually slept in longer than they did.

They moved towards the dining room once more. Upon entering, they were a bit surprised. They thought they had taken a wrong turn at first but then realized it was just decorated.

It was splendid really. Someone had been up early to do this. Ribbons and other decorations were hung around the corners of the room. On the table was sweet foods and a few of Jasdero and Devit's favorites. A large cake sat in the middle and on it was the message 'Happy Birthday Jasdevi' written in deep blue icing. They glanced at Raina who was suddenly standing right before them, a smile on her face. She wore light blue pants that were loose on her. Her shirt was loose too. Her hair was let down and she looked…tired.

"Happy birthday" They noticed she had two packages in her hands. They were the same size, a bit small but a decent size. She held them out to the twins. They took them from her.

"Wait…" Devit shook his head. "How…"

"It's why we went out yesterday. I wanted to get some things for your birthday. Did you two forget your own birthday?" She seemed amused by the idea. They looked at the presents and then back at her. Frowns turned their faces.

"We thought you were avoiding us" Jasdero's voice held disappointment – at them of course. She had not done anything. In fact she had remembered something they had barely thought about. They wouldn't have known today from any other day if she had not done this. It was touching.

Her smile didn't waver. "It's okay. I…kind of understand. I mean…I did suggest you leave. And…well, we'll talk about it later. It's your birthday! I'm sure you're hungry. Hurry up and come eat. We even have cake. Not the best for breakfast but I don't care." She led them to the table and they all sat down. Her grandmother and grandfather were already drinking tea, but they weren't eating.

"Open your gifts. They're not terribly good gifts but…I figured you'd enjoy them at least" They looked at the gifts and then at each other. At the same time they tore off the wrapping paper, something that seemed to amuse her in the least. When they opened the boxes then, they found nearly the same gifts.

Golden guns, much like they used.

"A more modern design of course" Raina said. "They can also really function as guns. Um…they also have your names on the side" They turned the guns to see that on Devit's gun his name was engraved on the left side and Jasdero's name on the left as well. On the right side of each of their guns was their combined name - Jasdevi.

It was actually a touching gift. "Thanks Rain" Devit said, a grin on his face as he started to examine in the gun. "Jas! Let's go try them out!" They jumped up from the table.

"Hey! What about breakfast? And cake!" She called after them, but it was too late, they had already dashed out the door.

Raina stood in the dining hall, her hands on her hips. "Boys will be boys" Her grandmother chirped from where she sat. She smiled at her. Raina shook her head. "Ah, don't worry about it dear, they'll return. Just give them time to play with their new toys" She laughed then.

"I'll go out and watch them I guess" She said with a little sigh. "Best to not let them on their own for too long" She trotted after them at a brisk pace. She looked for them on the grounds but found no trace of them. She had at least remembered to grab her coat before she went dashing out into the cold winter outside. She wrapped the coat tighter around herself as she searched. Soon she heard a large explosion from outside the grounds. With another shake of her head, she headed towards the gates. They were open just enough for the twins to slip out.

She knew she could manage it so she started to slip out. It took a bit of wiggling but she finally stumbled from between the barely open gate. She nearly fell when she emerged but a strong arm grabbed her's. "You okay?"

She looked up at Devit's face and she smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine." He seemed so much calmer now. When he had gotten up she had sensed his bad mood a mile away. She knew it had probably been because of her evasive actions the day before. She was glad that he could see that they were necessary though. Throwing a surprise party wasn't easy after all. She had worked hard on this. Now it was all paying off. They seemed so happy…so calm. It made her smile to just know that her work had paid off.

"Do you wanna see how well these guns shoot?" Devit asked. His voice was excited. She laughed and he pulled her closer.

"Not like I have a choice, now do I?" She smiled and shook her head at them. He lifted her easily into one arm and took her over to where he and Jasdero were practicing. Jasdero was examining his gun again. Devit put her down a safe distance away. He and Jasdero took up stance and shot, just a regular bullet. The gun rang out as if there had been bullets in there all around.

"It doesn't really jerk too much either" Jasdero noted, running his finger around the golden barrel. "It's a nice gun" He grinned at Raina and she smiled back. They shot their gun, using their different types of attack, testing the gun to make sure it worked. They seemed excited about the present, which made her truly happy. She stood there and watched them. She glanced around every once in a while, making sure no one or nothing was creeping up on them. She was nervous for some reason, it was a strange tick she couldn't get rid of. She was tired too, but that was probably from getting up early and decorating and cooking and…

She yawned, covering her mouth with her slender hand.

She saw the twins glance at her and she motioned for them to keep testing their guns with her free hand. Devit moved to her side and slipped an arm around her. "Sleepy?" He seemed amused.

"Its early in the morning yet, I can be tired"

"Let's go in and eat, it'll wake you up" He pulled her up into his arms and she allowed it, laying her head on his shoulder. It was comfortable, comforting, to be this close to him. It reminded her of better times…Times where she wasn't…

He set her down in the doorway and she moved to the dining room. They all took their seats and the boys ate with a gusto. She wondered if they had to eat more because of their powers or if they had always eaten that way. She didn't remember them eating that way as children. Maybe they just really liked the food. That was a pleasant thought. She and her grandparents ate with a little more reserve, preferring to not choke on their food ( and probably taste it, though she thought that Devit and Jasdero at least tasted a little of the food with the way they were eating ).

The day wore on with joy. They ended up going back outside, all bundled up, and playing with the guns some more as well as just running around – just like old times. Raina found that the day had a calming effect on her, making her feel like it was the old days again. Like nothing had changed. Her arms barely ached, no one could see the scars beneath her coat and gloves and it was just…perfect. One perfect day for them.

Its more than she could really ask for.

As the day was almost over, they were eating more cake. It was delicious chocolate cake that her grandmother had made. She loved the sweets that her grandmother made. She was quiet, though the twins were chatting, in an excellent mood from their birthday. She was happy to see them so happy but…She knew that had to go – tomorrow.

"So" She said, interrupting something that Devit was saying. They looked at her. He had some cake on his face. With a sigh she reached over and brushed the crumbs from his face. Then she settled back in her seat. Her back ached and she tried to move to a more comfortable position, but it didn't help so she ignored it in favor of getting said what she needed to say.

"I hope you guys enjoyed today"

"We did!" Jasdero said with a grin. His new gun was still in his hand on the table. She smiled at him, happy to see that he was so happy. She took a deep breath and prepared to say something she knew would ruin their day. She felt bad, but it needed to be said.

"Well, I'm glad. You guys do know…that you have to go back tomorrow" The moment her sentence finished she sensed a change in the air. Her smile became sad, knowing that they were probably pissed that she had brought it up. "You need to go see your family. I know you miss what you did for them. Its unhealthy that you stay away"

They were silent and she kept her eyes down. She didn't want to look at them, know their anger. She knew they were angry, she knew that they weren't happy – and mainly only because they knew she was right. She heard them sigh.

"We don't want to go back though…" Devit's voice. He sounded like he was pouting. She dared a glance. They were both looking downward, frowning, eyes sad. "We're happy…mostly…here"

"Mostly" She repeated. "There are things…I can't help you with. You are Noah. Running away with me…it would never work. Just…Just come back to me soon, okay?"

"For your birthday?" Jasdero asked hopefully

"Of course. You can come back for my birthday" She agreed. She knew it would feel like a long time without them, but it wouldn't be long. Not too long. Once they were back they'd all be happy then. She just had to wait a little while. They needed this though, they needed to go back. She knew it, they knew it. It was a simple fact. One that they all hated.

"Rain" She glanced at Devit. "Will you be okay here without us?"

"Yes, I think I can manage a month. I won't leave the grounds too often"

"I rather you not leave the grounds at all" He grumbled frowning at her. "You'll get eaten by a bear or something otherwise" She frowned at him now. He grinned back. "Maybe a wild boar?"

"You're a wild boar!" She declared smacking him. He laughed and she frowned at him and Jasdero. They were both laughing at that point. "Or….you're a wild panda" That stopped Devit's laughter. Jasdero laughed harder, leaning back in his chair, letting it rock back and forth.

"I'm not a panda!" Devit snapped at her.

"Panda!" She cheered in a sing-song voice.

"Panda!" Joined in Jasdero.

"Not a panda!" He pointed at his one eye, the one with the slash looking mark on it, "Does this look like something a panda has, huh?"

"Maybe you're a rare breed of panda" She said, laying her head down on the table, grinning lazily at him. He glared at her for a moment and then reached across the table, placing his hand on her forehead. His fingers tangled in her hair.

"Just…be careful when we're gone. If I come back and you're hurt or something…." His voice was really worried. She looked up at him, her eyes going soft. His hand switched to cover her eyes. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing, confused. "Don't…I don't want reassurances right now. I just want to think you'll be safe when we return"

She stayed silent, not knowing what to say. She reached up and grabbed his hand with both of her own. She held it there, as if that was her agreement to stay safe while he and Jasdero were gone.

She heard him sigh. "Just…don't get into anything" Then he gently pulled his hand away from her's. She saw him and Jasdero standing. "We have to go get some things around if we're to leave tomorrow. Come on Jasdero" Then they walked away, leaving her alone at the table. She closed her eyes and let her hands drop down into her lap. She didn't want them to leave, but what choice did they all have?

She found them in their room later that night, getting ready for bed. She peeked in, without knocking and watched them for a moment. She knew they knew she was there, but they all ignored the fact. She frowned and glanced down.

"If we ignore you, will you stay there all night?" Jasdero asked her, turning to her at last. He dropped something into a bag as he did. She stepped into the room, already in her nightgown, her hair damp and tangled from her bath. She held her brush in her hand.

"I wanted you to brush my hair before you go." Devit still moved around the room packing but Jasdero gave her a small smile and moved to the bed and sat upon it. She sat in front of him and handed him the brush. Calmly and gently he began to work his way through the tangles.

"I hate that you cut your hair short." He said, she knew he was probably making an angry face. "Grow it out again. It was so pretty before."

"Long hair is such a pain though" She replied with a frown

"What are you complaining about? I took care of it for you" She laughed then.

"I suppose that's right. Alright, you keep taking care of my hair and I'll grow it out long again. How does that sound Jasdero?"

"Sounds like we have a deal" She knew she had appeased one twin now. She knew it would take a bit more to appease Devit. He was still moving about the room purposefully, but without a real motive. She knew everything was packed; he was just avoiding the issue. She watched him, silently as Jasdero combed her hair. He was taking her time, getting all the layers of her hair. He knew she wanted to stay.

"Devit" She called. He paused by didn't look towards her. "Why don't you come relax for a little while?" He paused and then trotted over to the bed, sprawling out on it next to her. He squirmed till his head was in her lap and his feet hanging over the edge of the bed. They were all silent for a long moment. The only sound was the brush sliding through her hair – _swish swish swish_.

"Do you think you two will get in trouble?" She asked them.

"Not really." Jasdero answered. "Or at least…"

"We hope not. It doesn't seem he's sent anyone after us so we're figuring we're okay. Or we're in a lot of trouble and we just don't realize it" She began playing with a lock on Devit's hair, feeling nervous for them. "Hey, hey! None of that." He growled at her and she rolled her eyes and instead began to lightly pet his hair. A lazy grin spread on his face. "Better"

"Spoiled" She replied.

"Someone needs to be"

"You figured I'd be the spoiled one" Raina went to shake her head but Jasdero lightly tugged a lock of her hair, demanding her attention.

"You are spoiled. Coming to me to comb your hair" He clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "Spoiled"

"Okay, okay, so we're all spoiled!" Devit pointed out. "Oh well!"

Raina and Jasdero laughed at his outburst. It felt good to laugh at such a silly thing. She saw the brush out of her corner of her eye as Jasdero tossed it to the bedside table. She saw it land perfectly on it, only sliding a little bit but staying on the table. Sometimes she thought these boys were just too superhuman. Sometimes they scared her. But she loved them too much to let them know that. She just wanted to be here, with them. She didn't want to leave. She had already told them they had to, they had already packed. She knew she had to let them leave.

"Can…Can I stay here tonight?" she asked them. There was silence.

"Do you really need to ask?" Devit sighed from her lap. Inside she felt calmer. Good. She needed to be here, with them. She needed to just make sure that they were still…her's. Even though the Earl seemed to own some part of them because they were Noah, she knew she needed a part of them to be her childhood friends.

They all sat in peaceful silence until Devit yawned and closed his eyes.

"Hey! You better not be going to sleep!" She growled at him. He opened one eye to look up at her and a grin spread over his face. Without warning he sprang on her pressing her into the bed before plopping on top her, laying his head on her chest, his arms pinning her's down.

"Now I might"

"Devi!" Jasdero cried in mock horror. He giggled. He had moved out of the way to keep from getting knocked back as well. He plopped next to them.

"Jasdero, please tell me you'll get your brother off me" She begged. He grinned.

"I dunno, Devi looks comfortable" He grinned at her too. She frowned and tried to get her arms free. Devit was stronger than her though and she could barely move them.

"Devit!" She whined. "Let me go!"

"Nope, you'll make me get up. I like where I am. Comfy" he already had closed his eyes.

"Devit!" With a sigh he let her arms go. She thought of pushing him away, instead she placed one hand on his head. "Fine, as long as my arms are free, I don't care" She didn't hear a reply from him and actually, within moments the sounds of him sleeping peacefully reached her ears.

It was silent for a while, she stared up at the ceiling. "Rai?" Jasdero's voice interrupted the nothingness of her thoughts. She glanced over at him. He was staring straight up too, not looking at her.

"I know Devi is worried about leaving you alone" His words were hesitant. "But…I think it's a good idea to go back" She was shocked he agreed. "I thought about it for a long time, I thought about…things. I feel like…when I'm not in here, that I have to hunt down an Exorcist"

"You have the impulse to kill" She said softly.

Suddenly there were tears in the younger twin's eyes. "Rai, how could you love people like us? We're murders!"

Raina looked at him in surprise. She hadn't expected this, actually she had never thought about it. She didn't think about them killing people, on purpose. She thought about Kanda – she then thought about Lavi. She bit her lip and stared at Jasdero for a long moment, her one hand still tangled in Devit's hair. He was still asleep as far as she knew and she was glad.

"I love you for who you are" she whispered.

Jasdero wiped at the tears running gently down his cheeks with one hand. "We kill people Rai. We _like_ to kill people. We _like_ to murder. They don't even _have_ to be an Exorcist. We've killed regular people _ because we can_." She wanted to comfort him, she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. How did you reply to that? "We love you, we really, really do. But does that make up for what we do? What we like to do? The fact that we love…can it make up for the fact that we're murders. We're going to go to Hell"

"I didn't think Noah believed in Hell"

"They don't, but I worry sometimes. Our hometown was religious. Everyone including us went to church. They told us about how if we killed or stole or lied we'd go to Hell. Sometimes…sometimes I believe that's true."

"Exorcists kill Noah when they can." She pointed out.

"Great, we're all Hellbound together" He sniffled and wiped at his eyes again. She reached out with her free hand and gently wiped the tears of his cheek. "I'm scared Rai"

"Of what?"

"I don't know. Something…I just feel like this isn't over. Something bad is going to happen" He wasn't crying anymore, but he squirmed until he was snuggled up against her. She put an arm around him. "I'm afraid we're still going to hurt you"

"I'm not an Exorcist anymore"

"I don't think it matters, unless you're a Noah I don't think we can ever really be together Rai" He sounded convinced he was right and that scared her. Of course it scared her. She wanted nothing more but to spend as much time as she could with them, but here he was dashing away her hope.

"I think you're over-thinking this Dero" She answered, trying to get the nervousness out of her voice. Her stomach clenched. "We'll all be able to be together. We love each other remember?

"Right now I do, but what about when I get really angry?"

She was silent, not wanting to reply, not wanting to give life to his fears, but she was also unable to kill them for him. "Go to sleep Dero. You have a long run home tomorrow." He closed his eyes and she ran her fingers through his soft golden hair. He seemed restless but soon he fell asleep too. She was the only one left awake. Sleep soon claimed her with her two Noah safely in her arms.

She woke up in the early morning and she was completely alone.

* * *

Well...its been a while. Hope some people are still keeping tabs on this story out there. So sorry it took so long. I lost internet, now I have it on limited days as well as the Art school I quit completely killed my muse. I can't really write or even draw that much anymore. To tell the truth, I also lost interest in D Gray Man for quite a bit as well. So, the point is, I'm going to finish this story though. I think two more chapter is going to be it though. I had planned for more, but...Really? I lost many of my notes during my move. So, two is all I got. I apologize for the length of time it too me to publish this. Sorry guys! The next chapter will be much quicker, promise!


	22. No Longer

**Think of Me  
****Sequel to So I Thought  
****D Gray Man  
****No Longer**

Home.

That's what this place was supposed to be to them. It didn't feel that way anymore. The twins stood before the entrance to the Noah Manor. They met no resistance. No one was guarding the door. Not even an Akuma. It was odd, but they really weren't in the mood for a fight anyway.

When they entered, the Earl was not waiting for them. No one was. The entry hall was empty.

Was no one home? No, that couldn't be. Someone was always here, even if it were just an Akuma. Someone was always tending to something here. Were they going to be punished by them? They figured so. They had run away – again – and probably angered the Earl. That couldn't be helped though. People did crazy things when they were in love. That was their excuse. Not a strong one, but an excuse all the same.

They walked down the hall feeling tense. Soon they came upon the dining hall and as they entered they saw it was brightly lit and decorated. Everyone was gathered around the table. They were all dressed up, a meal was sat and the Earl was grinning – more than usual. They felt awkward standing there and didn't know if they should take their seats, the two that were empty in their usual spot.

"Welcome back Jasdevi" the Earl said. "Right on time. We figured you'd come back today, after spending your birthday with your girl" He said the words smoothly and neither of them could detect anger in his voice. He seemed happy. "Maybe it's one day late, but Happy Birthday Jasdevi"

The rest of the Noah chorused in with 'Happy Birthday's after that. They just stared at everyone, not knowing what to say. They truly weren't in trouble? They knew that it was time to sit down and celebrate but they were truly unsure. They edged towards their seats and dropped down, noting that Raina's usual seat had been removed.

"We didn't think she'd be back." The Earl said. He probably saw their eyes. "So we just had it removed. If she ever wants to come back for tea, we'll make sure to set the table for her" His voice was sugar-sweet. The twins were suspicious. Why…were they not in trouble? They had disobeyed the Earl, betrayed him in a way. They did notice something though…someone glaring at them. Their eyes wandered to Lulubell who was glaring at them.

It was a dark glare. She was _pissed_ at them. It took them a long moment to realize why. They had disobeyed the Earl not once, but twice. She was pissed. They gave her an even look in return. The Earl seemed to be ignoring this silent exchange, in fact he didn't even acknowledge it and kept right on talking, forcing the twins to turn their eyes back to him.

"So tell me, is she doing well?" He went on to ask. They glanced at each other.

"Yes" They answered together.

"How about that Innocence that's going to kill her? How's that doing?" Both of them stiffened. They glared at the Earl for a long moment. A glance at Lulubell showed her look had become smug. "Yes, yes, its an interesting prospect. Interesting that the Bookman even came out and told you about the…other case of this even. The last Noah couldn't save her lover and came back to us afterward." He paused for a long moment. "Though I never even got a chance to punish her. She killed herself. Just two weeks later we found her hanging" He sighed. "Such a sad event. Let's not let it happen to you two"

He spoke as if it didn't matter that the Exorcist ended up dead. Only that the fact that his Noah had died mattered. It made them angry. Devit felt the rage more. He _would_ not allow Raina to die and how would she die anyway? While on those grounds, she should be safe from the malicious intent of her Innocence.

"She's not going to die" He said, barely controlling his voice, trying to keep the anger out of it. The Earl stared at him. "I won't let her die"

"_Of course_ you won't let her die" The Earl agreed. "Of course, you might not suffer as badly as that one Noah did. You're the Noah of Bonds, it might hold you together."

Again, an uncaring voice. No care for if Raina died or not. No, she wasn't allowed to die, she cou;dn't die. If she did they _would_ suffer. She was a part of their bond. It sometimes felt without her around, the bond wasn't complete. Her heartbeat was aligned with theirs. Without all three of them, they would never be complete.

And that was why this dark place was no longer home.

They knew killing would not give them the same satisfaction.

They knew that coming back to this place would not give them the same relief.

They knew they would not be whole again until they could see her.

But that wasn't for a month, at least. They glanced at Fae who was looking at them and looking…desperate. For what they couldn't guess. She wanted something, that was for sure. What did she want from them though? She looked down, closing her eyes, looking like she was in pain. For a moment they worried about Raina but her shoulders shook lightly and she covered her face with her hand. Everyone else ignored her, except the twins and after a moment Tyki.

"Come on Fae" His words were soft. He took her tiny shoulders in his hands and helped her up. He led her out of the room. No one looked after the two Noah except the twins. What was going on? Why was she crying?

Was it…was it because the Earl was plotting Raina's death?

They thought the two of them weren't close. They didn't think she'd really…react. She seemed broken up about it though. Then again, they were twins with a bond of their own. They should have expected her reaction. Everyone else seemed to be ignoring it. The twins rose, forgetting their birthday dinner and started to walk out.

"Jasdevi? What about your presents?"

It was the Earl. They glanced at each other, just moving their eyes. They knew they felt the same way.

"We already have the only presents we want. We don't want any of the others" Then they went after Fae and Tyki. It wasn't hard to find them. Fae's room wasn't far from their own. They hesitated outside the closed door before knocking. Tyki answered half a second later. He didn't open the door of course, he just stuck his head and half his torso out of it.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Why is she crying?" Jasdero was the one to ask. His voice actually held sincere concern. Devit shoved his hands in his coat pockets and looked away. They already knew, but they wanted to be sure anyway. Stupid, this was stupide to pretend they didn't know. They shouldn't be playing dumb - they knew that too but…someone had to say it. Someone had to say it for them before they could really think it.

Tyki sighed and disappeared before opening the door. Fae wasn't crying anymore. She was just sitting on one of the chairs in the corner. Her hands were placed on the arm and the way she was sitting she could have been mistaken for a doll. Her eyes looked at them after a long moment and a sad smile came to her face.

"My sister…she's dying you know" She looked terrified. "I don't know how to save her"

They were silent. They didn't know how to save her either. It scared them. She was scared. Tyki looked impassive. He didn't care. It made them angry again but then he didn't care for Raina much. He didn't care for her nor did he care about her. If she died, he would just make sure Fae was okay. That's all _he_ cared about.

"Did…did you mean what you said?" She asked quietly. They looked at her. "About not letting her die?"

"Of course" They answered right away. Both of them meant it, even if Devit had been the only one to say it.

"We _need_ her" Jasdero said this, Devit could find the words for what he really felt for her. He didn't like to speak of his emotions anyway. He didn't like to think about them. He didn't like to speak of them. He knew he loved her though. He couldn't lose her. That much was very, very clear.

"…good. I think…I think shes dying though" Her voice broke slightly on the word _dying_. Tears started running down her face and Tyki kneeled by her, taking her hand. "Y-you gotta save her. You…" But she shook her head. She was clearly done talking. She buried her face in her hands again and Tyki wrapped his arms around her. He shot them a glance that clearly meant they could go.

They left the room and shut the door firmly behind them.

They walked only a few feet down the hall until they saw Lulubell leaning against the wall. Her arms were crossed firmly over her chest. Her eyes were closed until the twins stopped and then they opened. She was angry. Very angry.

"What do you want?" Devit asked, tired. He didn't feel like dealing with anyone else's emotions. Raina was…dying according to her sister. He had to figure out what that meant. Her Innocence couldn't be killing her. Was she sick? She hadn't seemed sick when they left…or had she? Was that why she sent them away?

"You two have somehow managed to betray the Master _more than once_ and not get in trouble for it." Her voice was a hiss. They were silent, their eyes narrowing. They started to pull their guns from their jackets but she acted faster. She lifted her hands and suddenly her fingers extended, the edge of them turning sharp. The edges surrounded the twins.

"If you move, you'll die" She warned.

"What do you hope to do Lulu?" growled Devit. "You know the Earl will be displeased if he finds you've been fighting with us"

"I don't understand why he keeps you alive. You and that dirty little Exorcist you love" Her eyes narrowed again. "I don't know why he doesn't let me kill her."

"Leave her out of this" Hissed Jasdero. Both were frozen in place. Their hands in their jackets, ready to pull out their guns but the sharp edges were too close to their arms to allow them to move them any now.

"Its because of her that all of this happened!" Lulubell exclaimed. "If you never met her, none of this would have happened!"

"You're fucking getting on my nerves" Devit replied, but he knew she was right. But…if he had never met her he never would have fallen in love with her. If he had never met her…Well he felt like his life would have been very empty and very, very different.

"Because you know I'm right." She started to pace slowly closer to them. "That filthily Exorcist girl has changed you. Both of you. I think the Master should just kill you, as useless as you are anymore. Her too. Betrayal should be met by death."

"But it's really my decision isn't it, Lulu?" The voice the Earl startled all three of them. They all looked to the left where he was standing. She quickly recalled her fingers and a blush worked its way up on her cheeks, she was extremely flustered.

"Ah…Ah….Master…I-I….I was just…"

"Go Lulubell. You have things you need to tend to you. I won't punish you for speaking your mind" She hurried off, her head down. She gave the twins a nasty glare before she left, but she hurried away. She had clearly been embarrassed. It clearly wasn't over between them and her.

But they didn't think it'd be much of a struggle, not with it two against one. They didn't speak such thoughts and instead looked towards the Earl.

"I came here to send you two on another mission. Everyone else is busy"

"Even Lulu?" Devit's voice was bitter and the Earl chuckled. It wasn't an amused sound.

"Just take this mission and go" His words were very nearly a threat. The two of them wanted to glare, instead they took the playing card he offered. They looked at it. Ideally, they wished they had been going to France, give them an excuse to wind up on Raina's doorstep. The card said Germany though. Fine, whatever. It was close…they could visit maybe…

"Keep to the mission Jasdevi. I do have Akuma watching your girl" They looked up at the Earl, their eyes going sharp. "Of course, she won't be harmed…as long as you play by the rules"

Unspoken rules. Rules that need not be spoke. Rules that they knew the moment they became Noah.

"Fine" Devit's voice snapped. "Let's go, Jas"

Jasdero didn't make a sound, just silently followed his brother towards their newest mission, because, hell…What else could they do? They had to play the Earl's damned game as long as they wanted to keep her safe. They couldn't trust her remaining on the grounds. In fact, that would be a silly hope. She probably wouldn't. She'd probably leave as she wished.

Sometimes they wished she'd just fucking listen.

But that was what made her Raina, what made her the girl they loved so much. So in the end they could bitch all they wanted but it didn't change anything at the end of the day.

They left the manor, the place that'd probably never be home again. They didn't look back.

The trip to the cold country did them good though, running through the winter wonderland, knowing violence was not far off. It made them feel alive. Something within them began to uncoil. They felt a little less stressed, they felt a little better now. They knew it was because their inner Noah was finally getting to run free, without being restrained.

It didn't take too long, a lot less time than they thought it might. They viewed the small town they would have to raid for Innocence with distaste. It was a smoky little thing. Bigger than a village, the houses were sturdy as well. Chimneys spat smoke. It floated into the white sky and tainted it with gray and black smug clouds.

Not exactly the prettiest place but nonetheless, they had something to do. They would have hurried to do it if they had not heard a laugh. It was a carefree laugh and they peeked to the street to see that girl – uh? What did Raina call her? Ghoul? Girl? Ghost? Ghost, right?

What the hell was she doing here?

Ghost was doing exactly what was expected of her as an Exorcist. In fact, she was here with just Allen Walker. She had become good friends with the white-haired Exorcist. But she would always remember Raina for saving her. She told Allen about her sometimes, Allen seemed worried that Ghost was interacting with a Noah's girlfriend, but…Ghost didn't think the twin Noahs would hurt her at least. She knew they loved Raina. Really, truly.

_It must be nice to have something so pure_ she thought as she glanced around. Allen was alert as well but with his Akuma detecting eye, well she was much more carefree than she usually was. He made missions so much easier.

"So what are we looking for?" The other young Exorcist asked her and she glanced towards him, her delicate eyebrows arching up for one moment.

"Allen, were you not listening again?" She teased, a smile passing over her lips. She pulled her coat closer as she said this. It was _freezing_ here. She missed the warm train.

"Were you not listening?" he teased back. "Komui said it was going to be cold. Do you want my coat too?" A kind offer. He was always so nice and though he teased, he could still be the perfect gentleman. She supposed it was the way he was raised but she didn't know much about his past though she had known him for so long now…

"W-well…Anyway, we gotta find the Innocence. It's supposed to be a necklace that grants the wearer youth" She remembered her last youth-type Innocence she found. The carousal…With Raina before she destroyed her Innocence with her own hands…

"Ghost?" Allen's concern drew her out of her own bubble. "You okay? You're biting your lip pretty hard"

"Yeah…just thinkin'. Lets find this necklace"

They wandered to a jewelry shop first and there was no luck. They ended up going to ever shop before find a dead end. Frowns crossed their faces as they stood in the inn. It was nearing dark and well…They had searched all day. They retired to the room they were going to share and rested on the beds.

"I'm going to get a shower" Allen announced after a pause.

"I'll go get food" Ghost offered and Allen's face lit up. She couldn't help but smile back. He made her promise to bring back plenty and then headed for the bathroom. She headed directly to the Inn kitchen to order the food. She made sure to order plenty, as promised.

She managed to get it back to the room herself ( thanks to a clever maid ). When she opened the door and pushed the one cart in, pulling the other she called "Allen, dinner's…." Her happy sentence died off as she saw the two people lounging in the window. In the hand of the one was a necklace.

"Uh…you're….Raina's Noah…." She just watched him. She knew the dark haired one was the one that Raina loved so. His eyes seemed darker now, his shaggy black hair hanging in his face. He seemed haunted for lack of a better word.

"Yeah and you're that kid she saved" He said, his voice flat. He was playing with the necklace, letting it glimmer in the dim light of the room.

"Where's Allen?" she asked breathlessly. Sure, they wouldn't hurt her, but Allen…

"Here" Allen opened the door, dressed again, hair damp and his eye already glowing.

"They're not Akuma" She whispered. "They're Noah"

"I heard"

"Just came to tell you that Rain is doing well. I figured you'd want to know" He glanced at her from under his shaggy hair. He had a worried look now.

"Did she get taken back to.."

"No, after that…man…died, she had her freedom. She's in that safe place now"

Ghost wanted to give out a big sigh. That probably meant she was in the place she couldn't be harmed. She had to tell Lavi! Surely he knew the way there. Ghost forgot, but to visit Raina? That would be wonderful! She could maybe take Allen and Lenalee and…

"So hes talking about the Raina you told me about, Ghost?" She had forgot Allen was there. He was stiff, seemed ready for a fight.

"Yes, its so nice to know she's alright. She seems to have a talent for getting into trouble" Ghost did too, but her trouble wasn't anything like Raina's.

"She does" Her Noah agreed, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. He reached back towards the window. "I…just figured she'd be happy if you went to see her. That's the only reason I told you."

"Thank you" She smiled at him. He didn't smile back.

The window opened blowing in cold air. It was Allen's voice that froze them all though. "Wait" The Noah stopped. She did too. "That's the Innocence in your hand"

"It is" The other one finally spoke. His golden eyes flashed to Allen. Ghost felt her heart leap into her throat. No…she couldn't let them fight…

"We were sent to destroy it"

"I can't let you do that" Allen's arm activated and he reached towards them. They seem surprised but they tilted back towards the window, falling. Too slow. Allen's Innocence grabbed at them, only to miss and grab only the necklace. She saw their faces. She ran to the window, leaning out it to see them below.

They didn't look happy but neither raised their weapons. Instead they turn and left. She turned back to Allen and he had the Innocence in his hands. He had deactivated his Innocence.

"Welll…?" She asked softly.

"I….don't think they ever wanted to fight us" he shook his head and stored the Innocence in his coat. "So they were the Noah that she fell in love with?"

"Yeah…" She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them so she could close and lock the window. She glanced at Allen again. "What did you think of them?"

"…Odd." His face had such a flat expression to it that she couldn't help but laugh. It took a moment but he laughed with her. Laughing felt good. Inside she was scared, from their close encounter with the Noah, but relieved at the same time. No fighting, nobody was hurt and best of all she could visit an old friend.

Things were looking up. Things were certainly looking up.

A week passed quickly. Raina didn't feel much better after it. Another week passed. She seemed to be ill or something. She was getting hot flashes and then cold flashes. She felt dizzy sometimes. She sometimes got sick. She sometimes slept much too long. She missed the twins. No matter how crappy she felt, she knew they'd make her feel better.

She felt much too hot, though the house had a slight chill to it thanks to the winter weather outside. It was snowing lightly – like in her dreams she used to have. Sometimes she had a dream of it lightly snowing, just like this. There was blood on the snow though. The snow was red. It didn't frighten her. Whatever had her sick was giving her weird dreams. That was all it had to be. So she wasn't afraid of the dream. She was just curious to what was making her so ill and when she would get better.

She was pulling on her dress and it stuck a little at her stomach. She tugged it on the rest of the way with a huff and patted her stomach half-heartedly. She hadn't eaten anything since the day before yesterday because she had been violently ill the day before.

Annoying.

She missed the twins. She wouldn't feel as crappy and sad if they were here.

She wished Ghost or Lavi would visit again. She knew she told them not to visit – but that was her home that had been full of Akuma. This house was safe. They could visit. She wished she could send them a message. A sigh touched her lips and she went about finishing getting ready. With her now short hair combed out she stared in the mirror for a long moment. She really had to grow it out again – in the way that Jasdero wanted. She knew Devit preferred her hair long too though. Her hair used to curtain them…

It would take a while though and there was no way she was going to grow it out like she had it before. She had let her hair grow way too long in that year she spent being a selfish depressed girl. Now she was just a less selfish but yet depressed girl. She wondered why it remained. She had what she wanted, did she not?

Well not right now…if the twins were here.

It was funny. Her thoughts kept circling back to them. It was like she was lodged on it and couldn't get off the thought. She missed them she realized. Two more weeks. She could last that long right? She left her bathroom and headed out of her room towards the kitchen. She was almost there but stopped, feeling a sudden wave of dizziness sweep over her. She had been to the doctor's last week, but he said he wouldn't have exact results for her until this week. That was fine, it probably was nothing serious.

Or maybe it was. She leaned heavily against the wall, panting. Her mind was swimming. Was she going to faint? Was she dying or something? Hell, it felt like it.

"Ah…" Her stomach cramped. It hurt like all hell. It felt like her insides were trying to push their way out. She braced both hands on the wall. What the hell was wrong with her? She glanced down at the floor. Her vision was blurred, it was hard to see. She squinted until she could make out the floor.

Funny, the carpet here wasn't red…

Or was it? Her mind swam and she felt like she was going to faint again.

She focused again, squinting harder, trying to make her blurry eyes focus on what the hell was on the floor.

Then it struck her. That was blood, her blood. It was dripping heavily down her legs, almost pouring and making a puddle on the floor. She felt sick, she felt like she was going to die. "Gr-grandma!" She started to crawl across the floor. It was the best she could do, pull herself pathetically across the ground. "G-grandma!" She yelled again, feeling tears in her eyes now. She was scared, she was dying or something.

Pain made her collapse to the ground, a spasm in her lower body that made it feel like she was being ripped in half. She didn't know what she could do, except try to crawl again. It hurt too much though. There was too much pain. She could only lay there and take it, feeling the blood soak the floor near her legs.

If she died here, would the twins know? Would her sister survive it? So many questions bounced through her mind, the pain scattered them easily. Soon it was all she could feel, hear, and taste. Pain. It utterly ruled her.

She needed and escape. She needed to get away from it. Darkness beckoned, offering her freedom from the pain, with promises to numb her and make her feel better. It also had a finality to it, that if she went too deep, she knew she would never come back out. But..the pain of her ripping in half made her twitch pathetically on the ground. She could hear someone coming, calling for her but…the pain…

_I guess I'm a coward_ was her last though before she dove into the darkness willingly.

* * *

Cliffhanger! Yup, anyway, next chapter is probably going to be next to last or something like that. Meh, I know I promised a longer story than this but really? I don't see the point in dragging it on. Time to finish up this story. I already have the ending planned. I don't know if it will please everyone, but to me, it'll be the right sort of ending for a story like this. Anyway, read and review if you will.


	23. Tragedy

**Think of Me  
****Sequel to So I Thought  
****D Gray Man  
****Tragedy**

That day started with a bad feeling for her.

Fae felt very ill and she didn't know how to tell Tyki about how she felt. She knew he was growing annoyed with her and her worry for her sister. He loved her, she felt he really did but…But…

There was always a but and that annoyed her. She closed her eyes, laying on her bed, surrounded by pillows. She was encased in them as if she were going to emerge as a butterfly or something equally silly. She lay there though with no will to move. Her sister was very ill. Her sister was dying. There was nothing else she could think of that would make their bond weaken so.

Here she was struggling to keep it alive, trying to send her strength to her sister, to make her survive. There her sister was dying. Why? She had no idea, but this had to feel what her dying would feel like. She felt ill again and wanted to get up and go throw up. She didn't really want to throw up though so she remained where she was and fought the feeling for a few moments. When all was under control again, she slowly moved to rise, but half-way up she gave up.

Why bother?

So Fae went back to laying in her cocoon of pillows. It was so comfy and soft anyway. Who would willingly want to really leave such a nest?

_A wise person_ she told herself _ A person who cares for more than themselves_

Really though? She just wanted to survive the death of her sister. Let her die, get over it, survive. She knew the twins would never let her though. But she needed to survive. If that meant her sister had to live, then so be it. She had to live.

She closed her eyes. _I wonder what it feels like to die_ she thought with morbid fascination. She was silent, even in her thoughts for a long moment until she finally cast her thoughts aside as well. She forced herself to sit up and then her feet touched the floor. Before she knew it, she was out the door and at the door to Tyki's room. She didn't knock, she just went in and found him looking at something on a chair.

She didn't hesitate, instead crawling into his lap like a sad puppy. She stayed there, his one arm coming around her to hold her there so she wouldn't fall and then they were silent. She could forget her fear for a little while here. She could pretend that everything was going to be okay. She had to believe they would be. She knew they had to be, else nothing else would be right?

She felt her lip tremble and her eyes fill with unshed tears. No. She wasn't going to cry for no reason. She wasn't weak. No, she couldn't be weak. So she was silent as she laid on Tyki's lap, taking the comfort he had for her and wishing she didn't need it so badly.

She knew he felt the same but wouldn't say anything. She knew he wished she wasn't so weak right now. She sighed and then pressed her cheek into his leg. He brushed her hair off her forehead gently. At least he didn't push her away. She couldn't stand it if he did.

Breakfast again. An early breakfast. Too early for the twin Noah.

The lay their heads on the table but they could feel Lulubell glaring. She had been like that lately. She glared and growled and let them know how much she disliked them now. She let them know that she did not trust them worth anything. They let her know that they didn't give a shit what she thought. They ignored her, walked away and sometimes pulled their guns out if it were only them and her in the area.

Right now all of the other Noah were here so they were not alone with her. Her glare meant nothing to them.

Well actually…there were a few Noah missing. Fae was missing as was Tyki. Road made a joke, one that Devit wouldn't expect to hear from her mouth, about her Uncle. She grinned like a shark who had smelt blood.

Devit raised his head to look at her shark-smile and he met it with a frown. She laughed at something, maybe at how tired he was before she threw him a napkin.

"Clean up your face. Your makeup is smeared all over your face. Your face too Jasdero" Devit cleaned up his face, turning to his twin to make sure he got it all off. Then he watched Jasdero do the same. He had to smear some off his brother's cheek. Satisfied, they turned back to Road who looked calm once more.

There was a glimmer in her eyes though. She was excited over something. What?

"Ah…" They heard the soft groan and their eyes darted to the hallway. "I….I c-can't make it" The voice sighed. Somewhere in their head they knew it was Fae. Suddenly, something about the morning became surreal. It wasn't because they were tired either.

What as it?

They noticed when they got up that they felt somewhat ill. They felt dizzy when they first rose. They had ignored it, figuring they had gotten up too fast. They wondered the truth of that statement. They watched the hallway blankly. What had they missed? Was there a warning that they had not listened to? Or maybe something they were ignoring to protect themselves?

The answer was yes.

They knew it was yes.

So they rose, while the others watched them with the fascination one gave to a delightfully ugly but interesting looking bug. They all watched the twin Noah walk past the empty table and to the hallway. They turned back one – just for one brief moment to look at their family. The surreal moment had not ended. Their heads were swimming in the clouds.

They walked to the hallway.

They walked and they saw Fae laying on the ground, moaning as if someone had stabbed her. Tyki was crouched by her. He didn't seem to know what to do for her. She was holding onto her stomach, doubled over on herself, tears running down her face. They realized what they had ignored.

It hurt more to realize it this way.

"It's happening…." Fae looked up at them, her blue eyes clouded by pain and fear and tears. "It's happening!" She shuddered and curled back upon herself.

"How?" Devit asked, but she just shuddered gently. "How?" he asked again. She seemed unable or unwilling to answer. He wasn't sure yet.

"Where have you left her?" It was Tyki's voice. Tyki's hand was on his shoulder. He could feel the weight of the other Noah's hand. His golden eyes met the other's. "Where is your girl?"

"That place. That safe place"

"Gather yourselves. We leave now" He used short sentences. Devit and Jasdero understood those. If he had tried to explain anything to them, tried to use longer sentences, they knew they would not have understood him. They barely understood now.

They watched him lift Fae and tuck her against his chest like she was nothing but a child. He moved and they followed. They would not have been able to lead. They had to follow, as if they were children. Back through the dining hall, back through the other hallway, to the door. The Earl was waiting nearby.

"Good luck"

The words weren't absorbed. They were numbed, as if they knew they were going to see something absolutely terrible. It had to be terrible to have Fae shuddering like that. That was their reasoning, or it would be later when they came to terms with everything. They would have an awful lot to come to terms with.

Thinking back, they would have wished they knew on the run there. They would have been able to prepare themselves. They would have known…but they didn't know. There was no way they could have known.

It took them longer than they would have liked to reach that place. It seemed cold and empty when they arrived, looking at it through the thick gates. They could see a carriage and a nervous horse standing near the doorway. There was a man trying to comfort the horse. They entered the area, feeling the strange magic work its way on them.

They walked up to the door, ignoring the startled yelp from both man and horse. Tyki was behind them now. Fae was shaking her head, tears streaming again, saying No, No, I can't, I can't.

They had to. They had to know. They had to see. They had to know firsthand what was happening. Why everything felt off. Was she…

They entered the house and it was silent. They turned down the hallway to go to her room. It was empty. She was not in her usual room but as they stepped into the hallway, he could smell…They both smelled it. They followed the foul scent to the room.

They would never forget anything they saw there, it would be burned painfully into their memory for the rest of their lives.

The room was a spare room. Just like any other. The walls were a washed-out blue color with a shell-like pattered on them. The floor was a darker carpet. The wood in the room was all pained white, any cushion or pillow was a like blue to match the walls. The bed was not made up, the darker blue covers were thrown to the floor, leaving only the white sheets on the bed.

Not that most of them were white anymore.

Their eyes avoided that scene, if only just for a moment so they could take in the people in the room. A man, three women. The man was unknown to them as were two of the women. The other was her grandmother, back to them, keening softly.

The other woman were cleaning red rags, making them as white as they could again. The water in the dishes was pink-red. The man was standing by the bed, touching _her_ head. That made them focus on her. It made them. To know someone they did not know was touching her, touching her when she looked so…

The man finally noticed them in the doorway. Angry brown eyes, wrinkles at the corners that pinched when he frowned. "What are you doing here?" He asked. Angry voice to match angry eyes.

"…De…vit…" her words were barely a whisper of breath. "Jas….de…ro…"

Focusing on her hurt. To see how she was. Too pale, much too pale. Her eyes were barely able to open and she was unable to focus. She couldn't turn her head, her hands lay useless by her sides. She was covered from her chest down in the sheets. From her hips down, the sheets were red, drying to brown.

It made the two of them sick to see such a sight.

They could see she was also covered in a slick sweat, that made her hair stick to her forehead. Her hair was also messed up, in tangled clumps. She was breathing shallowly. Her heart beat feebly.

"Raina" Her name slipped out of their mouths at the same time. As one they went to her side. Each on a side, pushing the man – the doctor – out of the way. Each clasped one of her hands. She was cold.

"Raina!" Devit barely knew his own voice for the desperation that came out of it. He pressed his other hand to her damp forehead, pushing her hair away from her eyes. Her lips moved a little to a mock smile. "Raina…"

She seemed to want to speak but the twins hushed her quickly. Save your strength, hush now.

Devit turned to look at the man, keeping his hands clasped around her cold fingers, hoping to warm her. "What happened?" He growled. What had caused her so much pain? What had caused her to fall into this condition?

"Tr-traveling" the man stuttered. Devit didn't get it for a moment. "The traveling was too much stress on her body. She had told me she had been traveling off road recently and when you're starting to show signs, you really shouldn't being something so stressful. It was too hard on her body and it was either her or the-"

"Hush with your talk. All cold" Raina's grandmother's voice cut across the room. She hadn't turned around, she wasn't even looking up.

"Ma'am….you need to get rid of those"

His voice went blank. Devit and Jasdero both looked up, wondering what he was talking about. Both were lost but then they saw Fae, looking exhausted, being supported by Tyki. They were just inside the doorway.

"She would" They heard Fae grumble. She moved to her grandmother and peered over her shoulder. "They're different…"

"Ones a bit older"

"That can happen?" Fae's voice was coated with disbelief.

"Go see" Jasdero said softly. It was clear he wouldn't leave Raina. Devit went to the two women, passing the two women cleaning the rags – the nurses he supposed. What he saw, had him gagging. He was then in disbelief, counting backwards, trying to figure out when? Oh, god when? How could this, it wasn't right and…It just couldn't be he….

"One is Adam's" Fae's voice cut into his thoughts, slicing them apart like she had used a knife. "One is yours" Her voice had a certainty that made it so he could no longer think. There was nothing in his head.

They tiny, tiny little things in her grandmother's arms were….well they weren't like any babies he had seen. Too small and too still. He realized they were both dead. One was slightly bigger. The other was tiny, it skin darker than the bigger one's though. He felt sick all over again and the realization and Fae's words washed over him again and again.

He managed to get to the balcony and throw up what little was in his stomach.

He hung over the railing and wiped at his mouth. Few things could make him physically ill but this realization…._It was all his fault_.

He wanted to throw up again but his stomach had nothing else to give. He coughed, hard, as his body tried very hard to rebel. He knew he shouldn't shoulder the blame but seeing Raina as she was, realizing what those…those _things_ were…By the Noahs...

"De…D-Dev…it" Her soft calling for him snapped him out of his sudden thoughts and he turned fast to see her struggling to sit up on her pillows, though she could barely open her eyes. Jasdero was trying to do his best to calm her and get her to stop.

"Devi!" He was calling for him too. He went to both of them, taking her hand once more. He held onto It carefully. She was so fragile.

"I love you Raina" He said softly. "I'm so sorry"

He saw her smile, barely, her eyes were able to open and partially focus for one quick moment, her eyes saying she wasn't sorry at all. She closed them then, her body settling.

"Rai!" Jasdero squealed. He grabbed her shoulders and her eyes opened again.

"Ti..Tired" She whispered.

"Let her sleep" It was the doctor. "She'll live. Barely. It was a very close call. If I had not been called, she would have surely died" He seemed almost proud that he had saved her life. The twins ignored him, instead listening carefully to Raina's feeble heart and delicate breathing.

"Who are you two?" One of the woman – nurses, Devit reminded himself – asked. She was a delicate thing, too red lips, makeup, wide green eyes, light brown hair. Devit couldn't find his voice anymore. He was sick, sick with grief and hatred at this…Gods, Raina…

"Don't" It was Tyki's rough voice. Devit would have usually turned on him and snarled. Go to hell would be what he'd usually say. He couldn't work up the strength to flick his eye towards the older male. "Dammit, Jasdevi. Go take a walk, get out of this room"

"No" He knew that he and his twin had spoken at once. Suddenly her grandmother was by his side.

"She finally went to sleep. She stayed up because she wanted to make sure you didn't hate her" Her voice was soft, her fingers touching her granddaughter's arm gently.

"Hate her?" Devit asked softly. He felt his throat get tight. He struggled not to cry. She was alive. He didn't need to cry.

"She lost the children. She said to me, 'I know he'll hate that I didn't tell him, but I didn't know. I don't want him to hate me for losing them though. I can't bear it'" Her eyes were too sad. Then she looked at the two of them, first at him and then at Jasdero. "Go for a walk, get some fresh air. We'll move her, get her cleaned up and dressed. You can see her after that"

They let go of her hands. They knew that her grandmother would take care of her. They left the room, at least a bit amused that Tyki was quickly shooed too. They stood outside of it for a long moment and Devit wanted to crumple in grief. He couldn't help but blame himself. He knew consequences would catch up him someday but…

Jasdero took his hand and lead him away. He followed. When they entered the chilly air, he hardly felt it. He didn't know why he was surprised by this turn of events, but it numbed him. Far worse than the chilly air could.

Jasdero stopped and dropped to his knees in front of something. Devit was facing it too. He dropped down by his brother and stared at Raina's family wall. The names of family members passed were all carved there, including the names of her father and brother. They saw a spot that was clear for her name, where her name would have joined that of her ancestors. Devit reached a trembling hand out to touch the wall.

It was terrible to think that he could have lost her so completely.

It scared him.

Jasdero's hand took his again, but didn't pull his away from the wall. Jasdero was trembling too. The fact that they had come so close to losing a part of themselves…

They were both scared.

But relief made their hearts light. She was going to live. She was going to be okay, but that horrific scene would be burned into their minds for the rest of their lives. The feeling of her so close to death, the fear that she might actually die. That fear would stay with them for the rest of her life as well.

They stayed there a long time, hands clenched together, trembling fingers clasped together. Tyki found them there and led them back inside. He led them to a new room with clean sheets that didn't smell of blood. She didn't smell of blood either but she seemed extremely tired, barely able to open her eyes more than a flutter when they entered.

They saw Fae sitting on the bed near her but the other stood when the twins approached her. She crossed her arms over her chest and cast a annoyed glanced at Raina. As if it were her fault…Devit felt something that should have been anger stir in his chest, but it died before he couldn't make anything of it.

"We'll take over" They said at the same time.

"Not just yet. There are a few things I have to tell you" She was speaking only to Devit though. He made himself nod. "No. More. Children." He didn't understand the words at first but then he felt his cheeks burn. "She may be able to carry one, but to risk it? Do you want to risk her life, Devit? You're lucky you got away with what you did for as long as you did" He looked down. "Look at me!"

"What would you like me to say Fae?" He looked at her, he felt the flutter of anger in his chest again. "I love her, okay? I love her and I don't want to see her die or hurt or like this. I don't like it. I didn't _know_. Do you think if I knew, I'd let it get this far?"

She shut her mouth, but looked shamed. She stormed past him but as she brushed past him he heard her angry words; "It's just going to get worse."

He stood there until Jasdero's fingers in his own tugged him over to Raina. When they were at her side, she opened her eyes. She was smiling.

"Why do you look so sad?" her voice was scratchy, her throat was probably raw.

"You almost died" It was Jasdero who said this. He was sitting on his knees by the bed, his arms crossed and his head lay on his arms as he studied her carefully. She lifted a trembling hand and placed it on his head, she was able to stroke his head once before her hand fell back to the bed.

"I'm okay"

"Not really" Devit said.

"No, not really." She agreed. "But…I will be. I was told…I would recover"

"No more children though"

She smiled up at him. He took her hand. She was cold. "That makes me sad" He was surprised to hear her say that. They had never talked children. He had never wanted to bring up the subject, he didn't want them himself. "I'm a woman" She said it like an explanation.

Devit didn't really understand but…he figured someday maybe she wanted a child. He recalled a faraway dream where he saw a child with hair like Raina's and a frightened look in her eyes. What had happened in that dream? He couldn't remember, but the child was lovely. He knew the child was not a product of him and her though. That much he remembered.

"Are you sad too?" She asked him.

"A little" He admitted. Though children were very, very far from his thoughts, he knew at the same time it would have made her happy. Wasn't that what really mattered to him? Her happiness? He stroked her hair. She smiled again, closing her eyes.

"I love you" She whispered.

"I know" he replied.

She sighed and soon her breathing slowed and regulated, though it seemed shallower than a healthy human's. He and Jasdero stayed by her side all night, unwilling to leave the girl they both loved – and had almost lost.

Days passed and she got a little better by the day. She ate and drank and though she slept and rested and tried to get better, she, after a while, just stopped getting better. She only had so far to go and then she was done. She was only getting so much better and she was no where near her former strength. In fact, she was still in bed, weary and tired most of the time. When she did get out of bed, she exhausted quickly.

Something more was wrong.

But Devit was so worn out himself. Worry and guilt made him tense. He felt guilty because of what happened, he felt worried because he didn't know if she would recover or not. She got better, then she got worse.

Her birthday passed and she was barely able to get out of bed for that. She looked tired and tense the whole time, rubbing her arms. Devit and Jasdero had both loved their time together though, able to spend time with her out of bed for once.

It was a week after that where they sat in a sitting room near her bedroom. Tyki, Fae and them met here sometimes to talk. Tyki was reporting into the Earl regularly. The Earl was waiting for them to come home but as far as Devit was concerned, he wasn't going home until she was better.

_What if she doesn't get better?_ His mind asked him

He ignored the question. Fae entered the room. Tyki did not follow her. "Tyki and I are going back to the Noah manor" She told them. "You two should come with us"

"Raina is still sick" Devit snapped at her.

"She's not _sick_ Devit. _Sick_ implies that she is going to get better. She's not going to get better. She's dying and I'm tired of waiting for her to die. I'm going home and I'll wait it out in my own room, under my own terms"

"She is not dying!" He was out of his seat now. She was suddenly in his face.

"Devit, you know that the Innocence that is imbedded in her scars is taking the chance to kill her – non-violently. It complies with this house's rules. It's killing her. She's dying." He felt the anger building in his chest. "Accept it" She spat at him and then she moved out of range. He clenched his fist and brought it down, hard, on the nearby arm of a chair. The wood crumbled under his fist. He felt the splinters in his hand. He didn't care.

"I can't let her die" He whispered.

She turned to look at him, standing in the doorway. Her face was sarcastic and cruel. She looked so much like her twin, though her eyes were wrong and her face was different. Their hair was the same length now though. She opened her mouth to say something but she shut it and shook her head.

"Come home soon, brothers"

He glanced at Jasdero who had been silent the whole time.

"Devi…" His voice was soft.

"I…I can't Jasdero"

"If you don't…"

"And if I do!" He turned on his brother, eyes flashing. "What if I do, Jasdero?"

"It'll hurt more if she's dead" Jasdero's voice never rose, though Devit knew that his brother was frustrated too. He gave Devit a small, sad, smile. "I know you'll do the right thing, Devi." Then he walked out of the room, leaving Devit in there alone to make one of the hardest decisions of his life.

* * *

Holy shit. It took me forever to finish this and I am extremely sorry. But, you weren't expecting it were you? Well, I studied some things about birth and babies and stuff and alot of it is disturbing. Well, either way, the signs have been in a few chapters now. I made them subtle and so now that disturbed everyone, I'll let you know that the next chapter should be the last. I'll try to work on it double time, but...Well we'll see. Read and Review.


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